So, I've been curious about what it was like playing FPS games on the Wii, since I mostly played shooters on Xbox 360 during 7th gen. I decided to boot up 007: Quantum of Solace on a whim. Never saw the movie. Just knew it was an FPS that came out on the Wii, and oh boy it sure is that!

Of course, we gotta talk controls. You can use the Wii remote and nunchuck hand-in-hand, or you can opt for the Wii Zapper. You don't get the option to use a normal controller setup here. No GameCube controller or Wii Classic controller to save you. I personally opted for the Zapper because I think it's a neat peripheral, and despite all the issues I had with this game, I won't take it out on the piece of plastic I shoved the controllers in at all.

I will say though that controlling First-Person games like this is kind of a nightmare! You can aim all around the screen, which is nice for lining up accurate shots. If you want to turn the camera, though, you gotta hover the pointer by the edge of the screen. Wanna look up? Point that thing at the sky and hope no enemies take it as an opportunity to end you! There's a handful of different settings for wiimote and camera sensitivity, and by a handful I mean 4 options. That's it. Of course, because of this limitation I couldn't have a comfortable time at all because there was one that felt too slow and the next setting felt too fast!

So that's it for aiming, how about actually playing the game? Well, they certainly tried their best despite the limitations! ADS and shooting is what you'd expect. The dpad is what you use to switch weapons, switch weapons firing modes, and throw grenades, of all things. Of course, I threw plenty of accidental grenades trying to switch to a different weapon. + is your general "use" button, which is weird at first but you get used to it. - pulls up a map and shows your objective. I think you're supposed to have some control over this, because I tapped the control stick while it was open and the map started sliding to the right and despite my best efforts I couldn't get it to stop. Very weird. Maybe a glitch?

Now, this is a Wii game. How does it use motion control to enhance the experience? Not too deeply! The game was instructing me to tilt the Wii Zapper to reload. Of course, that was unreliable. I got much better results shaking it instead. The other use of motion controls is melee attacks. Whether you want to be stealthy or if an enemy is just too close for comfort, you'll see a big prompt on screen to shove the Zapper in the enemy's direction to take them down. Of course, you're better off just shaking the thing when this pops up. You'd think that would be it, but doing that activates a quick time event where you have to line up the cursor with a circle and press C to actually do the takedown. Simple enough, but these quick times add up and you'll be missing the quickness of melee attacks in Call of Duty very quickly.

Here's where the controls get real weird due to the limited functions of the Wii remote. A acts as both your jump and your crouch button, which you can do by holding the button down. It's very annoying to use because you'll want to hold down the button to extend your jump like in a normal game but then you'll crouch instead and probably fall into a hole and die, which is always fun. The other annoying control quirk has to do with the C button. C acts as your sprint button but also the button you need to hold to enter cover. Imagine you're trying to sprint to a safe spot to get behind to shoot enemies but James magnetizes himself to a low shelf instead, exposing his full juicy ass to every enemy in the room. Many such cases in this game!

Speaking of enemies, don't let too many get on screen at once because MAN OH MAN THE FRAME RATE DIPS ARE SCARY BAD! The game goes from a somewhat stable 30 to easily less than 10 frames per second at times, turning the game into a nauseating slide show. If you've played Sonic Unleashed on PS3 and got to Jungle Joyride Day, it's like that except you're trying to shoot at enemies that are teleporting around cover. It's real rough.

Despite these problems I wanted to do my best to beat this game. Then I encountered a helicopter boss that broke me. Basically you're on a rooftop and there's plenty of cover to hide behind so you can take potshots at the heli. It'll go back and forth across the arena and you have to run to the other side of cover to dodge its fire. Simple enough. Too simple to the devs, in fact, because along with this song and dance of shooting and running to cover, regular enemies are spawning in. They're not here to just shoot at you, by the way. They all have grenades, and their job is to flush you out of cover as soon as they enter the field so you can run out to dodge the grenade and then immediately eat helicopter fire and die almost immediately! That helicopter has a ton of health, too, and despite feeling like I was getting close multiple times, I could never get it to go down.

This fight, on top of the annoying process of turning the camera and getting stuck on cover because I wanted to sprint and the constant defeats due to the grenade-carrying adds just broke my spirit. I wanted to beat this game! Despite the issues I was having with the controls, I was finding ways to have fun! This fight is just too much. I don't know why they thought this was a good idea and I'm very upset. I was playing on the Normal skill level, too, so it really shouldn't have been that hard. This game isn't worth your time. If you're really itching for a FPS on Wii, try to find one that allows for a normal control scheme, at least!