What I Look For In a Life Partner: stereotypically Italian, makes pizza and knows how to perform a spinning piledriver.

You know what I'm tired of? Player characters who only do wimpy attacks like jumping on their enemies, or swiping with their dinky-ass little broadswords. What are ya gonna do with that buster sword? Tickle me to death? I'm here to grapple with every goddamn thing I see, and uppercut them through the ceiling straight into other enemies, initiating a combo and gaining points like an even more sadistic version of bowling. Like a demented pizza-making freight train I dash around colliding into everyone like an Ed Edd n' Eddy character straight outta Hell with nothing to lose. I do a sick body splash too. You see that stupid sunglasses-wearin' pineapple guy? I'm gonna beat the daylights outta him. I hate him! He ruins every pizza he touches! I'm gonna smash you into the ground Pineapple Man!!! BOOM! POW! SMACK!

BRUTALITY IS ME! I AM THE BRUTALIZER!

It kind of goes without saying what Pizza Tower is attempting to mimic. I mean, you know why I'm playing this, and I know why you're probably interested in it. Hell, it even has a golf stage perhaps as an allusion to the third game. Mario is jealous! He is so mad that Wario has better games than him! He can't take it anymore! He politicked to Nintendo and made Wario sit behind a desk to develop microgames for wee ant babies, while Mario continued to hog the spotlight! Denying us more pure Wario games with shoulder charging and butt smashing action! Say no more though, because a wacky Italian pizza chef straight out of some kind of What A Cartoon-ass 90s era CN show is here to deliver the good shit.

In the case of whether you're wondering if it pulls it off well, I personally think it passes with multiple flying colors of some sort. I would even go as far as to say it adds enough to become it's own identity regardless of it's painfully obvious inspiration. Peppino is a big-time brawler that I mesh with as well as tomato sauce and mozzarella, and just when you think the transformations are gonna start repeating they instead just keep cranking out more. Well, except near the end, they kinda go overboard on a certain one involving a semi-ranged weapon that people tend to hate in multiplayer. Still pastrami cool though, and it's gonna be really satisfying once you start making this game your main squeeze and master it to the nth degree.

THE CHECKLIST:
•Heavyweight character move-set with professional wrestling moves [X]
•Collecting shit, but not too much shit. [X]
•Blast Processing [X]
•Sick Boss Fights [X]
•Cartoon Aesthetic [X]

Yup, that's a bunch of boxes checked. Vee is in love maybe. Pizza Tower, I choo-choo-choose you to be my Valentine. Swoon

You can go fast in Pizza Tower. Like really fast! I guess not fast enough because my warped little brain wanted to go even faster. I found myself instinctively holding the left or right button on the d-pad with an iron grip so tight my thumb started to hurt. All in the vain attempt to gain more speed.

I've been following this game on and off since 2019 and I'm so glad it turned out as great as it did. I played Wario Land 4 in preparation for this game and boy, its influences are very apparent. The most obvious one being the rush mechanic. In Wario Land 4, jumping on a frog switch activates a timer and you have to race back to the level's starting point. What this also does is change the level's environment; paths originally closed off by blocks are now open, and vice versa. In Pizza Tower this activates after attacking Pillar John and is known as Pizza Time. Just like in Wario Land 4, it's a race to the beginning, but along the way you can do some backtracking for collectables or secrets that you might have missed on the initial run through, the clock is always ticking though! The whole thing is quite exhilarating; making it back to the beginning with just a few seconds to spare is so gratifying.

To aid you in achieving breakneck speed you have a pretty sizable move set, a lot of these pretty much taken from Wario Land. You have the continuous dash, grab, ground pound, and all that fun stuff, but unlike Wario, you have a super jump which can be performed by holding up while in a continuous dash state at max speed. You can do a sick ass piledriver by pressing down in midair while you're holding onto an enemy. Wario doesn't have that (he has a piledriver in Wario World)! Defeating an enemy starts a combo which is maintained by defeating more enemies and collecting toppings scattered around the levels. Defeating enemies also raises your heat meter which increases the points given out; additionally, this makes enemies more aggressive, so make sure you don't drop your combo! Oh wait, you have this taunt which is totally useless right? Well, this totally useless taunt can turn into a screen wipe after accumulating enough points, indicated by you having an electric aura around you. The taunt can act as a parry for enemy attacks and projectiles as well.

This game is just fun and that's really all I can say about it. It's a video game ass video game and I'm all here for it. Side note for anyone playing, after the animated intro sequence, you see Peppino sitting in a dark room. Let this idle for about 40 seconds for a cool reward!

Please go and play this before the Indie game cycle starts. You know, the one where people go "Oh, this extremely popular highly praised indie game sucks actually" and then dog pile everyone who genuinely likes it for like 2-3 years, before eventually the same people turn heel and say "Oh no wait, it IS good" because now disliking the game is the norm, and there's no way they can like or dislike something without spiting someone else.

Seriously, its insane how this happens every single time. It happened with Minecraft, it happened with FNAF, it happened with Undertale, and I feel like there's a good chance that it'll happen here.

I really do hate to write about online fandom wars or whatever, but regardless of those games' quality, it absolutely ruined a lot of online discussion about them in my eyes. So go play this while it's still fun, it's absolutely worth it.

EDIT: Because I was dumb and forgot to mention it, obviously you're allowed to dislike the game. My main point was please just don't be a dick about it regardless of your opinion. I mainly wrote this whole thing because I'm fucking sick of basically all online discourse in general lol

Accompaniment

The strong appeal of Pizza Tower style has already been spoken for. Its caught on like wildfire to the point of rampant fanaticism, friend of mine Appreciations articulates with a frenzy that

"I really think this game is one of the best indie games ever made and just like pizza in general, nobody dislikes all pizza. You will find something to enjoy here and odds are, you'll love it." Link

In more specific terms, Jenny accurately relates the appeal here to that of crass 90s cartoon animation.

"At its core, Pizza Tower is an ode to all that 90s stuff that I love. It's a bit ugly in style, but in that deliberate Ren & Stimpy or Ed, Edd n' Eddy kinda way, and I warmed up to it almost immediately." ending her sentiments with "At the end of the day, yeah this is really fucking good. Believe the hype, etc etc" link.

Along with this I've felt the sensibility of Pizza Tower's strong appraisal in a lot of the rest of my online life to be it social media use, internet discussions, algorithm content praising the game, streamers enjoying it, etc. The hype seems neverending, it's a shame though because after completing it with a 66% mark I feel entirely disconnected from this perspective. The title overall feels like all style and no substance. All cheese and no sauce.

There are so many glaring flaws with Pizza Tower's (2023) fundamental design in my view that it leaves me baffled nobody else has spoken for them yet. In order to vent my frustrations most effectively I want to first take a step back and say that even though people have been laudatory it would be false to say there has been no criticism about where it falls short. To turn back to Jenny and Appreciations for a moment they've both offered something in this regard. Appreciations mentions that the down attack is finnicky as sometimes it will input a swipe attack over a ground pound, and that they felt no motivation to go 100%. In a more controversial post ponders on bigoted jokes that the developer plays into highlighting his sense of offensive stereotype as a form of humor. Meanwhile, Jenny focuses more on hit detection and the deception of health, particularly for her in the case of bosses though I should say I experienced this outside of just boss fights as well.

While I could quibble on the ways in which these are accurate or not (the one on stereotypes for gags is especially accurate, unfortunately, you have the happy merchant grabbing you (semitic stereotype), and large 'crosseyed' baseball player that mistakes you for a ball (retardation visual stereotype) just to name two. However I want to shelf those concerns and focus on the issues I have with the design fundamentals.

Pizza Tower tries to use a 'ranking' formula of design to motivate player engagement, something that you might be familiar with from 3D sonic titles like Sonic Adventure (1998) or platinum action titles like Bayonetta (2009). The problem is this badge mastery system contrasts with the nessecity to check in nooks and crannies for secrets, thereby slowing you down and killing your combo. No matter what you do your first run of any level is probably going to be around a B at best because you'll be trying to comb for the 5 ingredients on every level, which are necessary to complete the story. The idea here is that in freeing them it works as a reward motivator, but due to the fact that they and the secrets are often tucked out from a linear runpath, even slightly, they instead become a collectible you have to remember and stop for. More to the point this combines with digging for secrets and 'poking' for an optimal route. Unlike the concise 1 minute platforming tests like Dustforce (2012) or Super Meat Boy (2010), Pizza Tower's levels go on for anywhere from 4 to 10 minutes. This sets in a sense of fatigue at individual level mastery where you have to try and fail constantly to get it precise. The problem is that there's no tangible reward for getting better at the individual levels besides an overall progression mark. If you 'P' a boss or a level the number percent goes up, but nothing cosmetic or informative happens as a result of doing well or poorly, there's no unlockable content as an extrinsic motivator. NPCs in the tower don't comment on your performances. No clothing options are unlocked. Peppino doesn't calm down or gain confidence. It's just an achievement for achievements sake.

This is an issue because the 5 off path collectable ingredients you have to catch arent as optional for completion as they first appear. In the beginning the threshold ratio between ingredients needed from each level to unlock a new floor is 50%, one might think based on that that you may need to pick up ingredients but not worry about them too much but you'd be wrong. By the end that percentage rises to a dramatic 90%. The issue is since there is 5 ingredients per level you have to find you actually have to be thorough on each level in finding them. Based on whether the player knows this going in or not makes a big difference because the end you're going to be forced to go back to levels you had skipped over or didn't get all the ingredients from.

Putting the ratio threshold for completion this high is frustrating because its easy to miss an occasional ingredient, and many of the levels themselves are frustrating. Once you get near the finish line the story is practically begging you to climb back down and finish it out a little more through this padding mechanic. End game backtracking is meant to play into that sense of nostalgia and wistfulness, 'I came this far and now look, I'm so much better'. However, because of the amount of gimmicks and gags per level there's not a fundamental sense of player improvement. What happens instead is just a fetch quest followed by, to be vague about the ending, an effusive celebration of itself 'remember this boss? remember this mechanic?' it's ultimately shallow though, because you unlock nothing from being good at the individual levels themselves. This creates a contradiction where you are rewarded for doing the bare minimum but almost not at all for exceeding expectations, as the range between both becomes smaller as the game goes on. The S and P ranks for non boss levels are functionally 'challenge runs' of the game, you're likely to get a B or better without even trying. So by the end all you end up feeling is that you know a few more mechanics. There's no sense of growth or player immersion.

Contrast this to another platformer like say Celeste (2018) where the window of player ability to complete the game is incredibly large. There's a wound rope of difficulty around optional yet visible cherries and toggle accessibility options. Celeste respects the players time by outlining that the Cherries serve no explicit function, they are a side challenge that implicitly build a sense of character for the player, focusing more on building its story elements instead. On the other hand then Pizza Tower deceives the player by telling the them the collectibles matter but not making it clear how much they do. By keeping the rewards of its goals ambiguous it relies on the player to feel that desire to explore its levels and master them. When the player finds out that they don't get anything for doing these side quests it taints future experience of play. When I restart playing Pizza Tower again I know despite all the stats and checklists thrown at me that only the ingredients matter. The secrets, rankings, and achievements are meaningless. However since they aren't treated that way, since they are conveyed as important visual stimuli it becomes a part of play that gets in the way rather than enhancing it. In Celeste the cherries don't mean anything besides knowing how much goes into the pie at the end, but since you were always told that and then the story keeps quiet about their inclusion for the entire run, you can adjust on a new playthrough how much or little you feel like caring about that.

This was really difficult to word properly but the end experience is that I felt like I was being needlessly graded and told to backtrack rather than feel a part of the world. Something needed to have changed in this system for me to feel comfortable, either:

1. Easier: The levels needed to be overall shorter in length so I could master them

2. Less Grading: Less visual information about how 'well im doing' needed to be conveyed to me

3. More Lore: The secrets and rankings needed to unlock cosmetic or lore content in the world for me to feel more immersed for doing well

4. Less Padding: The ratio of ingredients need to complete needed to be a stable reasonable threshold 50 - 75%, and the final level needed to be cut

5. Less Obfuscation: The eye secrets needed to be removed entirely so that I could focus less on 'combing' levels for extra points and more on actual execution

Without any of these taking place this experience has become 'style at all costs' which while amusing in moments becomes distressing as a design philosophy. It feels like a design philosophy chosen to keep the player playing as much as possible so you can see all it has to offer. As nice as it looks, it comes off as desperate and frustrating.

Less abstractly a few other miscellaneous issues

-Proximity score doesnt matter since its just about collecting as much as you can and keeping a chain, so the score should only show up at the end

-Camera needed to be zoomed out from the player a bit more because you end up just flailing at high speeds as it is

-If you turn the HUD off a -5 still ticks in the top left corner during the runback portion which is very distracting

-The bosses only test your postitioning and not your ability to execute running maneuvers which feels not in pace with the point of the game

-They put the best song in the tutorial, a catchy bass song with tons of fancy hi hat use, the other songs aren't half as good so they feel weaker. Probably just shouldn't have even used it because it makes everything feel disappointing

-The levels that kill you based on time have an unreasonably high completion threshold compared to end level runbacks, meaning you'll have to repeat them more than you would a normal stage

-there needs to be more discreet 'Grading thresholds' between A and S rank for non boss stages. S Rank forces a 2nd run through the level out of a player which borders on challenge mode feeling. Adding a couple more ranks around this point in the scale would do a lot to implicitly reward the player for doing better.

-The happy merchant bit in the Slums really bummed me out, like what the fuck man

I want to end on one last note. Appreciations nailed one thing I agree on, they noted that "You've got yourself a winner in Pizza Tower and that winner here is adrenaline." My qualm is that rewarding adrenalinic high intensity action response puts a person in a more impulse driven mode. I'm not sure that mode is 'good'. Anecdotally, this specific form of adrenaline puts me in a state of frustrated anger once I start to feel like I cant do better or the game is fucking with me. That anger boils me up and tends to make me dysphoric as a result. I'm not sure how much this applies to other people but I'm not too convinced that rewarding a surplus adrenaline hormones on tap like this from titles like Sekiro or Pizza Tower etc is actually good for us? It certainly isnt good for me, that's why I tend to play 'non difficult' story focused titles. I've noticed people say I'm not trying hard enough, but I wonder especially looking at how social media rewards impulsive thinking if its possible people have it backwards. Maybe everyone else is trying too hard to get that spike, and telling me I need to, as well.

Look, I'm not saying that it's healthy I respond to action input with the rage I do by any means, but I'm far from the only rage gamer. Like, I've never seen somebody rage quit a visual novel for example. It's always the people fucking up in rhythm games breaking stuff, its always the League mates freaking the fuck out about not having place down a ward etc. It's never the Final Fantasy nerds having fits. Again these are all anecdotes but its just food for thought. At the very least it explains my preference against it and why I tend to be so critical of finding design harmony in it.

-With the nerves to the limit, but with a smooth movement, justified by the style of animation. I don't know, I see it as a bit contradictory to the crazy and animated world that the game poses

-I haven't played any Wario Land, but here the approach of the double level design (hit and run) in communion with the two possible forms of mobility, until the two collide with each other, is super interesting.
but, there is the problem, that they collide in what I intuit is an impossibility to get rid of their formative references in terms of a "genre", called "the platformers".
The idea of ​​scoring through collecting and other chores at levels that force you to fluctuate between jumping, speed and momentum does not seem very appropriate to me if at the least I fail I have to repeat a sequence of three heights and four platforms, for very funny and schizophrenic that are the crash and fall animations.
Between the seams of the game, a speerun logic almost appears?
I don't see the great Peppino spaghetti being an avatar of total control in chaos, rather I see him suffering from chaos, heck, that's how the protagonist seems to be presented, as someone on the verge of sanity, breaking with everything he knows. crosses.




-So vacuously it has been possible to attribute to Signalis that its structure is a mixture without substance (partially correct, but I don't see it badly for a game whose one of its main reasons is "memory" as a concept) beyond the visual, I think this could perfectly apply to Pizza Tower: the weight, the speed and the alleys and unthinkable traps of Sonic with the framework of Wario Land? (I intuit, I reiterate that I have not played)

But I find another similarity with Sonic: the divergence between character concept and game concept.

you already know

Speed ​​vs Caution in Sonic

Chaos and humor vs Control and some precision in Pizza Tower

Am I the only one who feels this?

-The mixture is quite satisfactory, but why would that be enough?


-usually the internal coherences matter very little to me, and I hate applying the operational sense of the real world, I prefer the expression and the personality, at any cost. but here I find the expression in the same way as some contemporary games that rely entirely on the animations of their characters. And that's not bad at all, it's completely fine but I didn't find a situation where the comedy came from the game design instead of the characters and their animations. It's a bit picky, but I feel the same way I do when I watch one of the new Pixar-like CGI animated movies, with little interest in cinematography and space-time relationships.


I love the energy of this game, but at the same time it leaves me super cold

Thin crust, pepperoni, banana peppers, crushed red peppers, a little bit of grated parm of sean cheese, anchovies. You gotta have anchovies.

I wouldn't say I've been resistant to playing Pizza Tower, but I've definitely been dragging my heels. A classic case of Weatherby preferring to wait until something releases on console, or until a friend (thank you, Appreciations) buys it for me. Many cases of this happening. I am contractually mandated to play and finish The Evil Within 2 now because Larry Davis knew the only way I'd pick it up is if the overbearing weight of obligation forced me to. I guess you could say I get in my own way sometimes, but this sort of forceful nudging usually results in me having a good time, and Pizza Tower is no exception.

Barreling through enemies, charging through barriers, executing split-second rolls and leaps, careening into and up walls, and letting your momentum carry you to new areas all feels very Wario-esque, but I was surprised to see how much Pizza Tower took from other fast paced platformers like Sonic (I swear the sirens at the start of Not Legally Actionable Noid's boss fight are from Stardust Speedway), and even Super Metroid with how often you need to make tall vertical leaps à la Samus' shinespark. If you told me Pizza Tower was assembled and baked specifically for people suffering from terminal speedrunner brain, I'd believe you.

However, Pizza Tower is still very approachable for those who don't. I definitely had my share of botched inputs and there were a few sections that took me a number of attempts before I had the execution down, but once you fall into the right rhythm and embody Mr. Pepperoni or whatever the fuck his name is, it feels really good. It's also one of those games where executing on what it expects of you makes you feel like a speedrunner, even if it's actually taking you 30 whole minutes to beat the golf level.

My only real complaint is that you're never really at risk of losing a life until the chase sequence at the end of every level, and if you botch that you get to do the whole thing over again, which given the length of some levels is a bit of a problem. Though the game is checkpoint adverse, this is a somewhat minor complaint as I only managed to die probably four or five times during the course of the game.

I surprisingly don't have too much to say about the aesthetics other than that they're very good. Very 90s Nicktoons, lot of hyper-exaggerated faces and animations that lean so hard into the squash and stretch that you'd think everyone is made out of some kind of goop. That sort of elastic, malleable quality goes a long way towards selling the player on how chaotic, violent, and fast the game is. The soundtrack is terrific, too, and I especially like the full final boss suite and escape themes.

I think Pizza Tower is a pretty good game that I'm sure everyone reading this played months before I got to it, and you probably don't need me propping it up even more. I probably should've gotten to it much earlier in the year, but hey, better late than never. Excited for them to announce a physical edition for consoles in like, the next month.

"But McPig, it's just a game like Wario Land 4! How do we give it its own identity?"

McPig takes a bite out of his 23rd pizza slice today-- Supreme with stuffed crust.

"Any of you fellas ever play Sonic Rush?"

Just some spectacular fun in the most greasy way possible. The MS paint pizzeria aesthetic really sells its identity well as this oily cheesy run and jump fun that you can really feel with the slippery yet responsive controls. Despite being a 2D platformer, I would definitely recommend using an analog stick to perform more precise inputs. Every stage in this game is so distinct in its level design, theme and gimmicks, yet they're all so wondrously huge that you’re really getting your $10 worth out of these 28 stages. Then there are the bosses, possibly the most exciting and exhilarating boss battles I’ve ever played for a 2D platformer where they perfectly ride the balance between challenge and fun. Seeing they’re goofy expressions while I pummel each unique boss is such a high, and this high is brought to its absolute height with the amazing final boss which is essentially the greatest boss rush ever conceived. Issa mastepees.

Being a fan of Nintendo can be tough sometimes. I'm sure I'm not the only one for whom Wario was as much a part of childhood as Mario. Be it when I was borrowing the first few games from my older cousins, playing the hell out of my own copy of Wario Land 4 on the GBA, or enjoying the many spinoffs he was front and center in. Wario was always there, until Nintendo decided he wasn't anymore. As the Mario games shifted more and more into a heavily protected mega franchise, Wario had to go. Mario's greedy, smelly rival was shuffled off to the eternal spin off mines. The way of almost all Nintendo IPs of course that aren't profitable enough, whatever the fuck that means in shareholder land. Luckily, Indies have given us many, sometimes even better substitutes to whatever Nintendo isn't willing to do anymore. And in 2023, a bit out of nowhere, we got another great one: Pizza Tower.

The devs at Tour de Pizza indeed created the ultimate answer to the question: Where did Wario Land go ? Apparently it turned into an awesome 2D platformer where a funny Italian man, with serious anxiety problems, fights an Evil Pizza Face trying to nuke his restaurant. Obviously.
And that is all presented through an absolute wild art style. An amazing art style. Many have compared it to old 90s cartoons drawn in MS Paint, but I can't really agree with that. For me, it seems a lot more like it's going for mid 2000s adult swim shows and Newgrounds cartoons. A bit like Super jail or Mr Pickles. The kinda off- model drawings that throw away smooth line work and continuity in its individual frames for a much faster, chaotic style that feels like you're watching a painting melt on acid before your eyes. And just like its inspirations, Pizza Tower still excels in actual animation quality. It's insane how many individual poses and expressions fill the screen at any moment, along with the movement in the gameplay. Peppino himself gets a giant TV on the top right that is shifting all the time to new hilarious expressions, all depending on what's happening to him at that moment. For sure just a giant, well earned flex by the devs.

The soundtrack accompanying his crazy pizza adventure is also one of the best I have ever heard. Its almost impossibly diverse with dark humming undertons flawellesly going into a driving beat in levels like Dont Make a Sound or entering Crust Cove and hitting you with music that wouldnt at all be out of place in Jet Set Radio. A lot of these songs stay in my head long after I closed the game.

And while this amazing soundtrack is playing you'll be air dashing with Peppino all over the place trying to reach the end of each Level. Just like Wario Land 4, when you hit the exit switch, this time not in the form of a weird frog statue but as the weirdly creepy looking John Pillar. Who's a Giant Pillar with a Human face that is holding the Pizza Tower together, of course. You're then promted to run back to the exit before the timer runs out or be chased to a game over by the games villain, Pizza Face. The first time in each level is always an anxiety inducing dash as you try to grab all the collectibles you missed while going faster than sonic could ever dream of. If your like me, you'll probably still get a bad letter grad like C or D even. But that's the other beautiful thing in Pizza Towers design: How complex its move set is and how good you become at it if you're willing to put in a bit of work. It's honestly a god like feeling when you eventually understand it and fly through the stages with the goal of reaching the top ranking. Dash through the metal block, up smash, get the secret, fall out the bottom, don't forget to get the Janitor.... It's so awesome. It must be how speedrunners or fighting games players feel when they reach their apex skill level. That said: I can't exactly claim I'm that good at it. As much as I wish I was, I will probably forever stay in the A to S tier ranking. The highest you can get is P, which requires a full run of the level, never losing your combo, then finished the second lap while the countdown is ticking down and beating each of the 3 hidden stages. Not to mention you're ranked again in total at the end of the game. It's a lot, and it already took me hours to just P Rank the first world. I think I'm good with leaving that to the professionals.

I'm just so glad Pizza Tower exists. An incredible game that just had even more content added to it via The Noise Update. An entire new character to play as with his own move set to learn and tons of new costume animations. Needlessly to say, my conclusion is that Pizza Tower is absolutly goated and makes me question if I even still need Nintendo. Seriously, just sell Wario to Tour de Pizza, they would do my favorite yellow garlic enjoyer justice for sure.

I'm currently 20 years old. Having not been alive to see them, I've had somewhat of a fascination with the 1990s ever since I was very little. 90s games and animation in particular have always had a grip on my brain, being so off the wall, so different from what I would see on TV and the games my siblings were playing. Even now, I'm always playing 4th gen games of basically random quality while a lot of my friends are talking about whatever the big new game is that I'm totally clueless on. This month's was Pizza Tower, which piqued my interest because I had actually heard about it years ago. From everything I've seen over time, it looked like a game right up my alley, so I decided recently to give it a go.

At its core, Pizza Tower is an ode to all that 90s stuff that I love. It's a bit ugly in style, but in that deliberate Ren & Stimpy or Ed, Edd n' Eddy kinda way, and I warmed up to it almost immediately. There's also a ton of recognizable 4th gen influence here, but the most obvious gameplay comparison, the one proudly worn on Pizza Tower's sleeve, is Wario Land 4. If Wario Land 4 is this purely satisfying to play, then I might as well get around to it as soon as possible. This game is so fucking fun, dude. It's such a blast from start to finish. I love the movement so much, how expressive it is, how fun it is to goof around with. The music is killer as well, only elevating the aesthetic and overall experience further. It really feels like you're playing through an old cartoon series.

My only gripe I can think of is with the bosses. They're not that bad, but they're considerably less intuitive than the core gameplay. It's sometimes hard to tell when you can hit them, though this isn't an issue with the earlier ones. They also each have double the health displayed on screen, which is just really bizarre to me. As soon as you deplete it, it refills and a second phase begins with more shit flying around. I don't have a problem with a second phase, I just wish the full health was more clearly illustrated, you know? Anyway, it might just be that I'm not very good, but each of the bosses took me several tries. I find that it really disrupts the flow of the high-octane levels inbetween. Though I suppose if they attempted to keep that speed going, there's a chance it would end up with Sonic Advance 2-esque bosses. That would probably be much worse.

At the end of the day, yeah this is really fucking good. Believe the hype, etc etc. It's clear a lot of love was put into this, and I think the 5 or so years it spent in development turned out to be totally worth it. Whether you're some kind of 90s nostalgist (or someone who's just into that kinda stuff like I am) or you just like really fast, speedrun-friendly games, Pizza Tower should be quite a treat for you.

It's been so long since any game, indie or otherwise, has worn its heart on its sleeve the way Pizza Tower does. Over 5 years of time in the oven and it shows in every screen, every frame, every button press, every bite. Pizza Tower has more than deserved its right to stand amongst the greatest culinary triumphs of the single-chef indie scene alongside Cave Story, Stardew Valley, Hypnospace Outlaw, etc, joining the ranks of my personal 5-star favorite dishes.

There's something truly special about the way Pizza Tower sprinkles its influences to spice up its unique blend of score attack. It's not just the Wario Land heritage, its the way Tour de Pizza has taken its recipe and made a pie so perfectly seasoned and crisped, down to its crust. It's more than just a familiar flavor on a new dish. It's the ultra responsive and gooey momentum that makes combo racking so addictive. It's the undeniably charming SatAM flavor of every frame of animation that makes its slapstick marinate so effortlessly with its gameplay. It's the ear candy soundtrack so infectious and diverse, taking pieces from different cultural dishes like chiptune, new jack swing, tropical house, disco; all appreciated, never appropriated. Every bite culminating in a finale so unexpected, spicy, and cathartic; one of the most memorable last courses I've ever eaten and unlike anything I've ever tasted. Even after a week I still cannot stop thinking about it.

Pizza Tower was a daunting dish for such a small team of chefs to cook, and was something I was watching from outside the oven with such interest that I was genuinely worried it might come out overcooked, or maybe not even come out at all. I'm so glad to say this was not the case.

Bellísimo.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Ok ok, before fully diving in, a little bit of background: A few years ago, it must had been in 2018 or 2019, while checking my Twitter feed, I saw this game. It looked pretty interesting and so I began following the developer, but after a long time without updates and beacuse I deleted my account, I lost this game's track for a long time... so imagine my sheer surprise when I see the trailer announcing the release date, and when it comes out, the internet completely blows up and everyone says that it's a masterpiece. I felt almost obligated to play it, both because of my short-lived past with it and how amazing, fun and unhinged it looked. Well, I finished it, and the question is, did I like it...?

I mean you already saw that I gave it 5 stars but also HOLY SHIT I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME.

Look, I value A LOT of things that a game can provide as an experience, be it a story, a theme, an atmosphere,... Pizza Tower does a little thing I like to call ''being fucking insane'' and what provides is a genuine fever dream in all of the best ways. The characters don't talk at all, yet because of how they act or interact with each other they feel alive, catoony and funny as hell. The fact that The Noise only has one real major appereance in the whole game and still it's one of the mos memorable characters I've come across in a long time says a lot, and this basically applies to everyone, even the minor enemies; everyone here is animated in such a way that they feel straight out of a 90's cartoon, and the internet has clearly noticed it too.

Gameplay wise desings, I'm really sad to report, that at least to me the game feels like the bEST FUCKING 2D PLATFORMER I'VE PLAYED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Pizza Tower makes clear that its isnpired by Wario Land 4, Sonic and Earthworm Jim, and uses these references to create one of the most satisfiying controls, level designs and movement I've encountered, and belive me I've played my share of 2D platformers. Each level feels like its own world, the mechanics feel distinct to one another, the themes, THE MUSIC, it all just clicks and each time you fail it's just another chance to do it better and faster, and faster, AND FASTER, AND FASTER, AND FASTER, AND THEN IT'S PIZZA TIME AND THE MUSIC KICKS IN AFTER YOU BREAK JOHN GUTTER AND IT'S NON STOP RUNNING DING THE LEVEL YOU JUST DID IN REVERSEANDYOUFEELTHEPREASSUREASTHECLOCKTICKSANDYOUTRYTOGETANYTOPPINGYOUMISSEDANDBYTHESKINOFYOURTEETHSWITHSECONDSLEFT you arrive at the door, and it's this adrenaline, paired with how the level is designed, the personality and the secrets, what makes Pizza Tower, well Pizza Tower.

I think I'll never forget Peppino and his friends, enemies and adventures, it all just feel to good to be real and I just... I really cannot stress this enough, this just doesn't feel real, yet it's marvelous. I've left a ton to talk about 'cause belive me, this game has A LOT, but I want you to discover it, it's unique and full of insanity, the best kind of insanity.

Never had I thought that a game I discovered so many years ago starring an stressed and angry italian called Peppino could make me feel so much joy, but at the same time, it makes so much sense...

It feels so gratifying to play a game that wears its inspirations on its sleeve yet feels so confident with its own ideas and execution.

Pizza Tower offers some of the most mechanically dense platforming in its genre. Every level and move you can pull off is so perfectly calculated to encourage the act of speed. What's that? You're bumping into too many walls that make your speed come to a screeching halt? Well just run up them, doofus. You'd think the high you get from going at such blistering speeds would wear off eventually, but each level offers something so different and unique that they become endlessly exhilarating to master.

Combos feel so satisfying and invigorating to chain together with the barrage of moves you can pull off, combat quickly becoming a mad dash towards the next enemy to pulverize or the next batch of ingredients to grab. Bosses contrast the main gameplay by requiring the player to be calm and methodical in their methods to successfully dodge the attacks, yet bosses remain fast paced and never let up on their assaults.

Pizza Tower is practically everything I look for in a 2D platformer: extremely speedy platforming, borderline insane animation, engaging yet challenging bosses, and a well fleshed out moveset. However, that is not even mentioning how Pizza Tower practically begs the player to be replayed. With how every level feels so fun to blast through, having to do so while chaining a massive combo throughout the level, finding all the secrets and collectibles, and doing two consecutive laps on the big rush from the end of the level to the beginning asks the player to use all of their acquired skills. It's brutally challenging, yet unendingly rewarding to finally pull off the golden run.

If Pizza Tower taught me anything, it's that we need more games where you play as a fat greasy Italian man.

Pizza Tower landed on my radar about 4 years ago, and it honestly entranced me. It's no secret that Nintendo has let quite a few of their franchises fall to the wayside over the years, but those franchises are old enough to have fans that are now willing to take matters into their own hands.

The artwork in this game is completely unhinged. Everything is overly detailed and animated in the best way possible. Peppino looks like he's going through 13 midlife crises at any given time. Truly, a man of the people. It's all fully animated in painstakingly detailed sprites, to boot! If I had it draw comparisons to anything, it would be the more out-there kinds of 90s animation; Stuff like Cartoon Network's "Cow and Chicken", or Nickelodeon's "Ren and Stimpy". It's definitely deliberate, seeing how every level starts with its own unique title card.

Heavily inspired by Wario Land 4, Peppino's moveset primarily consists of grabbing enemies with a melee attack, or dashing straight through them at Mach 4. The dash mechanics are this game's claim to fame, really. You can run up walls by jumping at them or using slopes, barreling through anything in your path. This game has hidden movement tech! Like, actual, godforsaken "Super Metroid shinespark" type movement tech, and it is endlessly fun to play around with. All the levels have a real sense of flow to them, reflected in the fact that there's a combo meter, score, and ranking system in place to reward players who learn the layouts. That's not to say you have to run past everything. Pizza Tower is littered with secrets, inside and outside the regular stages. Can't forget the iconic escape sequence at the end of each stage as well. Every single level is thematically unique, and throws its own unique mechanics into the mix. Part of me can never stop laughing at whatever new, absurd thing that the game decides to throw at me next. Grind rails? Sure! A chicken on my head? Why not!? A gun? Okay, maybe that's a bit too far, put the gun down, Peppino--PEPPINO, PUT DOWN THE GUN

The only genuine low point for me is the bosses. They are completely relentless, and a lot of the attacks you have to avoid can feel borderline random. Doesn't help that they're all twice as long as originally advertised; their health refills for a more frenetic round 2 once you knock off all their initial HP. It also hurts that the OST is just good. The stage music sounds great while I'm playing the stages themselves, but the only songs I can remember are the escape themes (the optional "Lap 2" theme absolutely rocks). It's a lot of fast paced synths, guitar, bass, and drums, and while each track is distinct, as a whole, they kinda blend together. (EDIT: What the fuck was I talking about here? The OST is incredible. Full stop.)

It delights me to no end that this game turned out the way it did. It started out looking like a Wario Land game, only to shift hard into its dash mechanics and gain an identity of its own. Its humor is cheesy, its content is beefy, there's a lot of love mixed into the sauce (at least, I hope to god that's just love I tasted), and it's been baked to perfection. It's pizza time.

Pizza Tower is actually a character study. It's a study on a poor Italian pizza chef being pushed to his absolute limits and beyond. It's about a local business owner doing what he has to do to save his business from a corporate entity. It's about how the most unlikely of people can become the best of friends.
In all seriousness this game is just fun. It does exactly what it sets out to do and does it extremely well. It looks great with it's wild aesthetic that never fails to make giggle uncontrollably. It feels great to play. Admittedly the controls can take a bit of getting used to (Mainly with the mach mechanic and the super jumps), but once you get used to it works near perfectly. It sounds great. Any OST that pulls a Daft Punk reference is automatically amazing. This game really wears it's inspirations proudly on it's selves and manages to create something really special. I can not recommend this game enough.

Caótico, frenético e divertido no ponto perfeito! Quem me conhece sabe que eu não sou tão fã assim de jogos de plataforma (apesar de não desgostar também), mas esse aqui é um caso a parte, é impressionante como você se diverte nas fases e enfrentando os chefes desse jogo, e essa diversão toda se deve a uma série de motivos: a gameplay super rápida, dinâmica e frenética, a trilha sonora absurda, maluca e com uns arranjos sensacionais, e a arte que é muito diferenciada (muito provavelmente veio do Paint) e fluída, o que combina com a temática do jogo e faz a experiência ser mais frenética e doida ainda. Lembrando que também tem co-op nesse jogo (com mod), então pra quem quer ter uma experiência divertida e dar umas risadas com os casas, recomendo demais

How I learned to stop worrying and love Pizza Tower.

Seriously though, despite being a bit disappointed in my first playthrough, I kept coming back to it eventually in some way. The Noise update gave me another reason to do a full playthrough since he is a pretty different character, and I think that was enough to convince me that this game is actually pretty great. As much as I want to hate it due to its Ohio rizz band kid zoomer fanbase, I really can't. It really is an exceptional game. There's a lot of charm and genuine soul put into this that's very rare these days. I even went for a few P ranks and was surprised by how addicting it was. Definitely don't have the patience to P rank the whole game, but I finally get what people love about this game.

It's still not as good as Wario Land 4 though.

didn't get very far but eh, not really for me. came into it expecting it to be more like warioland in its level design but focuses too much on the combos and jittery movement for me to really get into. wanted more explore and less sweat. more funny transformation shit and less climb up every wall and crash into every ceiling like a dumbass. music kinda sucked too, which is pretty inexcusable for something trying to be a wario spiritual successor. except the chase music, that was pretty good. will def come back to sometime in the (hopefully) near future!