Reviews from

in the past


I love love that even in their mobile era, you can feel a tangible love for creation in all of Kimura's team's work. It never feels like a full compromise for them to do mobile games, even if they're not mechanically or narratively on par with their older work. Million Onion Hotel may be a serotonin tappy game, it may be pretty cut-and-dry, and people might mistake it for being "lol random" instead of a celebration of artistic freedom, but it's still an Onion game and that's what MATTERS.

handles the mobile gameplay loop in a way that i don't think i've really seen often: actually leaving breadcrumbs of really interesting story beats to retain engagement instead of relying on common mobile addiction-feeding psychological tactics. in a way this feels like an evolution of pac-man cutscenes, which is something i don't think i'd ever expect to see in a game. each vignette is genuinely intriguing and bizarre in a very onion games fashion, and the unlockables added plenty to the weirdness. so many cards made me do double-takes that i just couldn't help but try to collect more.

all that said, the gameplay loop alone isn't very powerful or gripping. it's fun enough for sure, and absolutely thrashes a lot of other bathroom break tier mobile games i've tried over the years. it just doesn't feel like it's cohesive enough to make trying for high scores worth it, and there isn't really a lot in the way of strategy despite the mechanics seeming like they're begging for player-side optimization.

still, tapping onions and the like was fun and the boss battles were often welcome surprises aesthetically. the general sense of celebration for onion games this game has is a lot of fun to see and as someone interested in the moon team's lineage this game only got me more curious to try more of their catalogue to see if i can recognize more things in this game that i didn't before.

A nonsense match-puzzle game where the rules are made up and the points don't matter. Explodes the genre and leaves behind only the sensory joy of desperately touching objects to trigger sounds and images. Stylish and funny, as is typical for Onion.

Superficially a dopamine-pipeline tappy timewaster, but on a deeper level it... still is that but done by Yoshiro Kimura!

It's got the humor, the style, the whimsy, all the elements that make his projects something special. Don't sleep on this game on account of the slimness of its design and content, it punches well above its weight.

SEVEN ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ STAR GAME

she would watch me play this game on my phone, and think to herself, “what a goofy happy goofball you are! when no one else is around, you’re even more childish than me—and I’m a floating disembodied bighead baby with antlers who needs help with my homework. Actually…you are childish around other people, but without the idiotic excitement this game brings out of you.”


Whereas Moon: Remix RPG Adventure seemed content to "deconstruct" its genre by boring you to tears (that's why that game makes people cry, right?), Million Onion Hotel understands that the best way to skewer something is to amp up its fun and tear up its rulebook, revealing that the emperor had no clothes on the whole time. Play this in public if you dare...

The world is just a great big onion
And pain and fear are the spices that make you cry
(Oh baby) Oh, and the only way to get rid of this great big onion
Is to plant love seeds until it dies, uh-huh

The pinnacle of mobile game design with a completely unique style. You'd be hard pressed to find anything more entertaining and original on either mobile app store.

I played this a ton on Android, and I loved it to bits. I never did get the true ending due to having a few cards straggling, and I kind of put it down.

However, when I upgraded my phone, I noticed Million Onion Hotel. It was like an old friend was calling me to reunite and finish what I never was able to do. So I did. I played through it again, and about 19,000 ‘hum-hum’s later, I collected every story card, beat my old high score in the process, and got the true ending. I already loved this game, but the true ending made me love it even more. Underneath the deceivingly simple and addicting arcade gameplay, there is a genuinely pretty thought-provoking story. For how little story scenes there are, I’m surprised at how long they stuck with me. When going back to it, even after nearly a year, I remembered all of it to the finest details. The true ending was the cherry on top.

Absolutely lovely game, ton of fun, will keep you engaged for hours, will never let you look at onions the same way again, will make you see line patterns in your sleep, will make the hums of the magic onions embedded into your brain, and will leave you with a new appreciation for life.

Love & Peace! Yay!

Is this game perfect? No. Is it an especially deep game? Not at all. But was it some of the best fun I have ever had a on a mobile device? Absolutely.

Onion games as a developer is one of my personal favorites. Made up of former love de lic developers, famous for games such as Moon Remix RPG as well as some of the lead devlepoers of Super Mario RPG, they went full inide.

This is so far one of my personal Favorite Endeavors for how off the walls bonkers it is, and just a really fun time overall.

Por um momento eu vislumbrei a matriz, e eram apenas cebolas. Acho que um vídeo de mim jogando esse jogo seria evidência o suficiente pra me colocar num hospital psiquiátrico.

どうして! こういう終末な感じのゲームばっかり作ってしまうの!!

probably the best way to miss the New York City skyline whizz by the window

There should be a worldwide contest where everyone plays this and whoever is crowned champion gets to rule earth