Before playing this game, the only 3D Sonic I ever played was Sonic Colors. And even then, a good chunk of that game was in 2D. So Adventure was my first fully 3D Sonic game ever. For years, I'd hear people say this game was broken beyond belief or just simple a "guilty pleasure" game that they enjoy despite being shit. While I did not love it like some people do, I can personally say I did not think the games were either of those things.

The game is broken up into 6 (technically 7 if you complete all other routes) character routes. You can play as Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Big the cat and Gamma respectively. Each of these characters play differently from each other, whether it's for better or worse, and even tho each playthrough varies in quality, I can at least commend how ambitious this is. Because in each character's playthrough, you get different cutscenes and also context for certain scenes that may not be explained in earlier playthroughs. As my friend Lemonstrade said, it's sort of similar to what Drakennier does which again is super cool conceptually, especially for a 1998 game.

But back to the actual characters, Sonic is the clear best one here. He has his spin dash, is of course the fastest in the game and also has a super fun aerial dash. I've heard people say the controls are bad in this game and I simply don't get that at all. Sonic, at least, feels simply perfect to control. The levels on the other hand, I can see people having issues with. I disagreed with the fact this game is broken beyond belief, but it definitely can be a bit broken if you're unlucky. I only glitched through the stage like 2 or 3 times, but the first time it happened was on the very first stage. That made me think the entire game would be broken, but it wasn't. Unless I got lucky, those claims, while still credible sometimes...are massively overblown. Besides that though, Sonic's stages while still fun, can feel incredibly janky just because of how fast he goes. It's hard to explain but if you've played the game you'd know, a lot of times the animations and your movement through levels can feel very unwieldly. It can be really hard to control sonic sometimes, and it often looks super awkward when looking back at it. Like I said it's hard to explain, and while I still had a ton of fun with his levels (just because he feels so good to controls) I can't help but think thee levels feel off. Again, this is mostly when you're at full speed going through loop de loops and shit. When it's slower sections you're going through, it's not an issue.

As for the other characters, they all have significantly less stages than Sonic. Tails has you racing against sonic, and with him being able to glide, you can take some seriously crazy shortcuts. The game itself even encourages this which I thought was pretty neat. Knuckles has you searching for three master emerald shards. It's basically a treasure hunt, with the emerald icons turning different colors depending on how close you are to them. These were alright, but story-wise I wasn't really a fan. Honestly thought his story would be more different from Sonic's than it was, not to mention the final Chaos fight was barely different from Sonic's (and Tails had a unique fight for his ending). Amy was probably my least favorite character to use. Her levels consisted of getting to the end like Sonic, while running away from one of Robotnik's robots. Problem is, while her hammer bounce is kinda cool, her moveset isn't nearly as fun as Sonic's yet her levels are still long like Sonic's (which isn't much of an issue with Tails and Knuckles). That plus, besides the one Gamma scene, her cutscenes were lame. Big the cat is the most contentious character by far, and honestly I didn't hate him. Yeah his cutscenes are super dumb and don't add much to the story. However his campaign is by far the shortest, and the fishing is actually really easy (and kinda fun) once you get the hang of it. Gamma is by far the best character next to Sonic. Not only are his stages fast paced, with you having to kill enemies quickly to get more time to your total. His story is actually significantly different compared to the others, and quite touching at that. If I had to rank each character's campaigns, I'd say Sonic>Gamma>Tails>Big>Knuckles>Amy.

To go to each actual level, you have to navigate the hubworld. For a 1998 game, it's not bad but it can feel somewhat empty I felt. Though, there are things to get that aren't just apart of the main story. There are some optional collectables and even some minigames you can play. There's also the chao garden which, I tried to get to work but since I was emulating the game, I suspected there was an add on I needed or something idk. But from the little I've heard, it does sound fun.

The story in general, does have its high points, like the aforementioned Gamma campaign and the ending is really nice. It's simple but effective. However, the actual voice acting is horribly stilted a lot of the time. It's not even a so bad it's good situation, it was just mediocre a lot of the time. That is, except for Robotnik who is super over the top but hilarious. Even despite the fact they reuse fight dialogue in actual scenes (which is jarring for sure) his dialogue is super duper memorable and easily the highlight. Something else that was memorable were some of the face animations, goddamn are they awful sometimes.

I didn't like LOVE the soundtrack like some people do, but it is quite nice overall. Very experimental which I appreciate a ton. My favorite songs were probably Red Skull Mountain, Welcome to Station Square and Egg Carrier: A Song That Keeps Us on the Move.

Once you complete all 6 character routes, you unlock the 7th and final one..Super Sonic. This is essentially just the final boss and some closure on the story, but it's definitely satisfying. You become Super Sonic, defeat Chaos's final form at supersonic speed, and in turn this cleanses Chaos of his evil as we find out he wasn't ever bad from the start. The closure on the whole Chao's and the past cutscenes was really nice. That along with Gamma's scenes ofc, easily the highlights of the story.

This game is definitely flawed in some ways, and Adventure 2 might improve on everything in this game idk. But I can officially say, this game is overall good and that Sonic had a good transition to 3D. Not everything works in this game, but I can acknowledge this game is full of heart.

May drop it down to a 6 cuz I was feeling like that for a good while but for now it's a 7.

Let me start by saying that my initial experience with the game was soured by the motion sickness I endured for the first 1-2 hours of gameplay due to the lack of an option to disable motion blur. I almost dropped the game because of that, but thanks to modders, I was able to overcome this annoying issue and immerse myself fully into the game.

Alan Wake's soundtrack, atmosphere, and story are incredibly captivating. From the depths of dense forests to the eerie solitude of abandoned cabins, every location feels thoroughly designed to immerse you in its haunting atmosphere, creating a sense of constant unease.

Sadly, the game's greatest weakness is its gameplay. While the gameplay is well thought out, it became too repetitive rather quickly. And goddamn, Alan needs some cardio training because this man can't run 5 meters without getting out of breath. Seriously, the stamina could as well have been non-existent. I also feel like some set pieces have overstayed their welcome, making me wish they would just end already so that the plot I was really engaged in can go on. All of this dragged the pacing and overall flow of the story down for me.

At its heart, Alan Wake shines through its fantastic storytelling and engrossing plot. As someone who truly enjoys narrative-driven games, I had a good and unique experience. However, the repetitive and somewhat dull gameplay, specifically shooting down the Taken, diminished my overall enjoyment.

Harold Halibut is a very technically impressive (when its not bugging out or dropping frames) feat, which unfortunately puts its gorgeous claymation style and cinematography in service of an overwritten, overindulgent miserable slog which might have been refreshing were it a fifth of its length instead of the overbearing wank we got instead.

Wank is the operative word here, the game is spiritually similar to jerking off. It takes inspiration from various sources, wes anderson films chief among them, but from what few films I have seen of those, they were much more entertaining and well written. The sheer nothingness of the gameplay even for narrative focused adventure games and amount of dialogue that was 3 lines too long for what it needed to be really fits together when you learn about the game's 10 year development time. This is someone's baby, presumably a labour of love, but thats the thing, sometimes you need to detach yourself emotionally from your work and cut things when they don't actually add anything. The most damning thing of all, after all that, 8 goddamned hours (it felt twice that) I feel nothing. The game is nothing. I am nothing. We're all nothing. And I have 8 fewer hours now before I return to the nothingness of oblivion with little to show for it.

"wait - you haven't played quake?"
~almost everyone who i've gushed about this to game in the past few days

a little about me: i'm partial to industrial grit, my favorite doom games favor grimly edgy atmosphere over 80s thrash worship, i'm a big NIN fan and the downward spiral is one of my top 5 favorite albums. so this should be a no brainer, right?

well - yeah, actually. that's exactly right. throughout my playthrough all i could continually ask myself was, "why the fuck didn't i play this sooner?" and rightfully so. i think the reason quake has eluded me for so long is because its holistic reputation is eclipsed at this point by a diehard multiplayer community that i frankly don't give a shit about. i'm not much of a multiplayer enthusiast for anything - let alone tech-y arena shooters - and honestly i probably would've continued ignoring this absolute fucking masterpiece if not for my pressing curiosity towards trent reznor's involvement

that'd have been a huge mistake; quake is easily the best boomer shooter i've ever played

this is where i could talk about how i adore the weapons and their balancing, the general focus on straightforward maps with powerups everywhere, the difficulty being largely driven by how easy it is to kill yourself in tight spaces - or even the god tier ambient score that has just the right amounts of otherworldly screams and metallic chords strewn about - i COULD go into those things and we could be here for a considerable amount of time - but instead of doing any of that, i'm just going to say that the shambler is one of the greatest enemy designs in any fps. in fact, my feeling towards quake 1 can be summarized roughly with my thoughts on the shambler; he's absolutely perfect. i love this giant, dopey, teethy foreskin man in all his fleshy (not furry - fuck you) glory. and i haven't even begun to MENTION his timbs yet

my mans butters be outright otherworldly

It has a character named Kino...

Future Connected takes place one year after the events of Xenoblade Chronicles and takes Shulk and Melia to an unexplored region of the Bionis, where they stumble upon two stowaways who help them against the seemingly untouchable Fog King terrorizing the local people. Yes, this premise is pretty basic, but it's more of an expansion to round off Melia's character arc than an actual story expansion.

The highlight and key aspect of Future Connected is the exploration of Bionis' Shoulder, a previously unreleased area that has been planned ever since the original release of Xenoblade Chronicles on the Wii, but never made the cut. Now it has been repurposed as the central setpiece of the epilogue and I'm quite glad for this decision, as it's easily one of my favorite areas in the game now and I had a lot of fun exploring it. There are many great views and it looks particularly cool during thunderstorms (even better when there's a cutscene playing). Fairly early on you're introduced to the Ponspectors, a group of archaeologist Nopon, who have lost their boss and now are scattered all across the Shoulder, where you can pick them up (most of the times you need to do a short quest beforehand) and add them to your own personal Nopon army. This literal army of furball companions not only deals passive damage during combat, but also replaces the chain attacks with some QTE combos, which can be upgraded by adding more Ponspectors to your squad. They're also masters of taking a toll on the framerate, as things can get seriously laggy when there's a dozen Nopon hammering away on a bunch of enemies during a thunderstorm while several other flashy animations are playing. Despite this, I thought the Ponspectors were a fun change of pace in terms of combat usage, but there was something else I disliked instead in terms of combat, and that's the removal of vision attacks. This sounds insane at first, considering vision attacks only make your life harder, but the thing is that they're still in the game, you're just not informed when the enemy will hit you with them anymore. Always a pleasure to see a boss hit you with "Attack VIII" without warning just to survive with a mere sliver of health, so the existence of the Shield and Impulse Monado Art hardly justify themselves in Future Connected, as they are practically useless - you're better off using the Armor Art instead.

I don't think the story present here is that bad, just considerably weaker than the main narrative, which is to be expected from a free expansion that released 10 years after the source material. For me the main issues are the underwhelming villains (the fate of one major villain here is literally revealed in a sidequest) and the lack of any real stakes here, so the true highlight are the character interactions instead. The heart-to-heart mechanic from the main game has been rebranded to "quiet moments" and is now available anytime after certain points in the story have been passed, as long as the time is right and the party members you need for the support are in your current party setup. They're also fully voiced and do not require any previous affinity building between characters, which is something that would be very cool to see in future Xenoblade games (or atleast Xenoblade 3, considering 2 released before Future Connected), as voice acting alone in these moments can make them a lot more impactful and memorable already. While Kino's and Nene's supports help characterize Riki further, Melia's are particularly interesting as she as a person had to undergo significant changes after the events of the main storyline. Shulk takes the backseat here and is more of a mentor for the Nopon kids, which is sweet in its own way.

To wrap it up, it's a nice little bonus campaign after the grand scope of Xenoblade's main story and I'd recommend it to anyone who just wants more of the same. As far as I know, Future Connected is ultimately skippable, but there's no harm in giving it a try atleast - else you're missing out on some fantastic tracks like the Bionis Shoulder battle theme or the Fogbeasts encounter theme.

Still the king, baby.

Now, I already reviewed Super Mario World in the past and feel that I said everything I needed to say about this game there. However, as I replayed this game over and over throughout my life, I have yearned for ways to make each new playthrough feel unique. For a while, the randomizer did just that for me, and later on I would experience the joys and hilarity of the ROM hack where the game's stages and music were remade from memory. Now, I return to Super Mario World once more for another twist, focusing entirely on the soundtrack.

For this playthrough, I implemented a ROM hack titled Super Mario World MSU-1 Plus Ultra. For those unaware, MSU-1 is a custom coprocessor designed by the late Near that allows Super Nintendo games to play CD quality audio and full-motion videos. Many modders have taken advantage of this coprocessor to do insanely impressive things with Super Nintendo games. Look at this video of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, for example. This is what the coprocessor looks and sounds like in action!

Many games have been given MSU-1 upgrades over the years, and Super Mario World is no exception to this. In fact, MSU-1 mods for this game have had an interesting development history. At first, there were just mods that swapped the music for more orchestral sounding remixes of the music tracks, which is the standard protocol for these mods. Following these would come a more ambitious mod, titled Super Mario World MSU+, which not only swaps the original tracks for CD quality music, but also introduces voice clips for characters and implements the use of different remixes of the overworld music depending on which region of the map you're currently in. I've played that version and loved it, finding it to be a refreshing way to experience this game.

Years later after the release of this mod, however, we would be gifted with an even more ambitious mod in the form of Super Mario World MSU-1 Plus Ultra. Not only did this mod implement everything from Super Mario World MSU+. It also made it possible for every stage in the game to have its own unique remix. This means that the soundtrack of Super Mario World has been expanded to 130 unique tracks!

Needless to say, I've been dying to get into this mod and hear all the music within, and after a breezy 96 exit run of this game, I can say genuinely that this is an amazing way to experience (or re-experience) Super Mario World. It's exciting to drop into a stage and hear an entirely new remix. It could be orchestral, jazzy, rock, or something else! Your ears are certainly in for a treat with this mod!

The best part of this and other MSU-1 mods is that they are fully playable on the most recent models of flash carts, such as the FXPak Pro, for example. You're going to be hearing CD quality music and voice lines from characters in a day 1 Super Nintendo game all on real hardware! It's beyond impressive, and every so often as I play mods like these, I can't help but think of how much these advancements blow me away.

If you love the Super Nintendo and want to see what their games would be like if they had a bit of that Sega CD energy (complimentary) in them, I highly implore you to check out the MSU-1 Hacks Database and try some of these mods for yourself! They take a bit more of set-up to get running than your usual ROM hack, but the extra work is worth it to see and hear how these games get enhanced by this technology!

Am I already so deeply engrossed and fascinated with the Alan Wake lore and plot to the point where I feel this game is sometimes treated a little too harshly by some people? Oh, absolutely. Despite initial expectations, I find myself wholeheartedly invested in Alan's journey and the expansive universe surrounding him. Don't get me wrong, this game isn't all that great, but there are still redeeming qualities within it.

While Alan Wake's American Nightmare offers a somewhat familiar gameplay experience, it tends to feel dull quite often. Despite some refinements, it still falls short, and despite the game's short length it tends to drag on longer than the original game did. However, what truly stands out once again is the unique plot and storytelling.

I understand not everyone might vibe with the story as much as the original, but after experiecing The Signal and The Writer, I actually really appreciate that this game delves more into the wackiness of Alan's mind and introduces us to Mr. Scratch. The dialog may venture into weird territory, but I believe this quirkiness adds to the game's undeniable charm.

The real disillusion is the combat here.

A while ago, I found out about Disillusion in some youtube video and the game looked very intriguing with its bizarre art direction and strange vibe, so I wanted to play it in the near future. Considering this is an indie game that's about 3€ and won't go on sale anytime soon, I just decided to snag it recently and check it out (since I had nothing else I wanted to play at the time).

I'll give credit where it's due, the intended atmosphere is well done and the exploration was also exciting for most of the time: you navigate through the tower in a first-person dungeon crawler perspective, while stumbling upon various weird creatures and portals leading you to other places. Some of these places are a classroom, a shrine or even some... jumbled mess. It's fun to explore those areas, since they have a surreal feel to them I can't really put into words, even if there's not much gameplay here. I mean, there is gameplay with the combat, but it's not good. Sometimes an enemy blocks the way and you can't pass through, so you need to resort to the most basic and barebones RPG Maker combat out there to fend them off. While many people don't like OMORI's combat, atleast that game tried for an unique approach (which I personally liked too). With a plethora of useless skills and needlessly spongy enemies, the normally fun exploration comes to a screeching halt and you'll just engage in this really boring combat for a large amount of your playtime. I know the game is a walking simulator for the most part, so why even include fights in the first place? I'm sure me and many others are playing it just to run around those strange settings and not to fight monsters, which are all copy pasted and use the same three attacks anyways. The worst part is really dying to some random crit and having to do entire areas over again if you forgot to save, but to be fair, you're warned early on to save often. You get the gist.

Surprisingly, unlike games like Yume Nikki, Disillusion actually has a story, dealing with themes like rebirth and eternal damnation. It's not a central focus, as you only get vague hints spoonfed through your companion Mel and you're expected to piece together the remaining pieces for yourself. Speaking of Mel, she's pretty cool and probably one of the main reasons I didn't drop this game earlier, her banter at times is nice even if it's nothing special by writing standards. There's... not much else to be said about her, except that she's green and also plays a bigger role in the overarching narrative.

Alright, so Disillusion is a decent game, but I just can't get myself to finish it, knowing that it's going to mess with my PC's resolution again (for some reason it breaks windowed applications like Discord and you need to resize them anytime after going into this game's fullscreen mode) and I'd have to go through more arduous random encounters. Despite this, I'd still recommend it for the most part for anyone interested, as the exploration aspect is rather intriguing and you can get a few hours of content for the low price of 3€.

I'll admit first and foremost, I saw the leaks before release, I saw the trailers for this game, and I thought it looked like absolute dogshit! I was terrified to see where Fire Emblem was headed with this, and lord knows I wasn't anywhere close to interested in those avatar designs. I thought it looked like complete and utter ridiculousness, but... time went on, and it grew on me. As wheatie does, the game released and I saw a few clips of it floating around on different platforms. It looked ridiculous. Almost... intentionally so?

The story is terrible, yeah, of course, I think that's been made abundantly clear by everybody, but I can't help but smile at it still. Everything about Fire Emblem Engage is silly, from its writing, to its character designs, to just its whole damn premise, it's absurd! And yet, they seem to know that! So instead of desperately trying to claw its way into a dark and brooding story, it almost felt like they were more leaning into the absurdity of what they had. This isn't a game you're supposed to take seriously, and I fuckin' love it.

Looking past that, though, as a Fire Emblem in gameplay, it does a stellar job. I don't feel the need to go over what everyone else already has countless times before, general consensus seems to be shockingly positive regarding the map design and the gameplay, but I also really enjoyed some of the paralogues, getting to revisit maps from the older games and even getting to walk around them somewhat freely after the fight's over. That's something I'd also like to talk about, because good god this game is so fucking pretty! Maybe I'm just surprised after having played Three Houses for so long and staring at its boring and repetitive maps so many times, but even besides that, the hub worlds like the Somniel or the post-battle, fully modeled maps, I was absolutely astounded by just how beautiful Engage was to look at. Could very well be the prettiest game on the Switch, helped by its already vibrant and colorful/flashy design everywhere else.

Now combine those beautiful atmospheres with a just as beautiful soundtrack, pure bliss. I spent so much time in the Somniel just spacing out and wandering the area, listening to whichever song fit the time, and at this point I think it's going to stay with me for the next while. The serenity that comes with these tracks is something I find scarcely matched in other media. Shit, I'm listening to them even now, writing this review, thanks to this cool little compilation I found of all of 'em. That's not to say the other tracks aren't amazing as well. Being as obsessed with this series as I have been for the last eight years or so, it was more than exhilarating listening to the throwbacks they whipped up for all of the Emblem Trial paralogues, or the slow and gratifying buildup of Last Engage at the end, to be followed shortly after by a lovely vocal track for the credits roll, among god knows how many others.

Engage was a stunning, whimsical, and just overall fun experience, in every sense of the word. I regret being so doubtful of this game at first, and I especially regret taking 14 entire months to finish it (oops). It's, as I said, absurd and ridiculous the whole way through, and I've learned to appreciate that sort of thing so much more over the years. I can't call it my favorite Fire Emblem, Sacred Stones has that nostalgia (and GBA) bias over me, but this was still a marvelous love letter to one of my favorite franchises ever, even despite some of its more prominent shortcomings.

"camp" as the kids say

As the proud owner of a VW bug myself, this is essentially the perfect game for me. It fulfills my ultimate fantasy; what if my car could fly 200 feet into the air and had an explosive rocket launcher? Really though this game is super fun. You can pick from a few magnificent colours for your bug and play by yourself or against friends in a few different styles of races, or take them on in this game's best mode; beetle battle. Imagine the mariokart battle modes but on crack and you have a beetle battle. All of the items (yes, this game has mariokart style items.) are super fun and perfect for causing large amounts of chaos. Your car can shoot rockets, achieve super speed, and plant land mines among a few other things. Also this game has some surprisingly decent music, which adds a lot to its charm. I’m not kidding when I say Beetle Adventure Racing is one of the most fun promotional/licensed games ever made.

I have become a marketable ball plushie ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅHH yea he looks so soft and squishable so it was bound to happen, still it only took one spin-off the set the record straight. Kirby has done a lot of things after this, but for the first venture it is some pinball! You know it's pinball it's in the yucking name. Playing Kirby is like smoking in the non-smoking area so it's not your average pinball. Frame 1 and you're already firing Kirby in a cannon into one of the three levels there are. Now there's a left, center and right one so if this was Life Is Strange your choice would impact your political EXP bar I just made up, hmm yea the crux of the matter is that these levels have their own gimmicks to them and you get to fight Kracko, Poppy and Wispy (in-game typo, I know bro is so mad).

What happens is, you have to use your pinball skills to reach the highest floors where the boss is, honestly I'd just take the elevator but Kirby is not as weak-willed as me and I need to accept that. Kirby has no life (so me), which means bosses just restort to cucking the flippers until I relent, which I don't. Because if I did, I'd have to see this mf fall all the way down and I can't have that especially because the transition between screens is disorienting and I'd lose sight of who I am, where I am, why I am. If I do make it to the basement, scare unfolds like any good horror game: the springboard mechanic. It's like the bonus minigame in most Kirbys where you press A at the right time, but eventually Kirby's Pinball Land puts you in an unwinnable scenario. They still let you try tho but it's been an honor gents.

Among these bosses, the easiest might unironically be Dedede. No I haven't mentioned him but come on, he can't not be the final boss. He basically lets you hit whaaat 😳 I mean he has a phase where he locks into you like you have HP and he dont (its the opposite) which gives me flashbacks of me doing that as a kid in certain games tryna brute force everythang. After I've beaten him I can continue playing for a higher score, no I don't think I will. The bosses are familiar and so are their patterns, although you're gonna die at first when you don't know they're going for the damn flippers. Kracko and Poppy have chosen the path of cowardice and tag team on you with Kracko Jr. and... another Poppy Sr. The latter was the hardest to fold and dominate all over... It was kinda goofy to make Kirby warp between the two borders of the screen, he'll get airsick but it makes the fights easier I think just they take longer because you have the stop the pink bullet you're controlling.

I don't think I have grasped every gimmick to get warp stars, but I won the game and the winner writes history so I will choose to ignore them. Hitting a cloud to make it rain so a giant Kirby puts out an umbrella so it can propulse you to new heights, like at this point just ask Kirby Sr. there are no lore reasons for him telling you to suck it up and do it yourself. Furthermore... Kirby can't suck in this game! Is Kirby Sr. on sum crack? Why is there another Kirby in the first place. My noggin goin places rn.

Welp, it’s been long enough, and I’ve been told I am not allowed to have fun today, so I figured it is about time to check out another one of Marvel’s… INCREDIBLE games that they threw out onto store shelves for a quick buck back in the day, and hey, since I went back to the X-Men lineup of games previously, I figured it would only be appropriate that I go back to another one of Marvel’s heroes that I have covered in the past, Spider-Man, or Web-Bitch as I like to call him. He usually has at least one or two games out there that are of either decent or, in rare cases, incredible quality, but then most of the time, you have games like Return of the Sinister Six, which makes me never want to trust Spider-Man with anything ever again. But hey, that was just one bad game, right? I mean, SURELY he would get things right the second time, right?........... yeah, probably not, but we will see if that is the case with The Amazing Spider-Man on the Game Boy.

Out of all the Spider-Man games that I could’ve chosen from, this one was all the way on the bottom of my list, as I know damn well how bad these licensed Game Boy usually are, and this one was probably gonna be no different. However, it then caught my attention when I learned that this game was actually made by Rare, the same guys who would go onto making games like Battletoads, Banjo-Kazooie, Conker, and plenty of others. I don’t know how they ended up being the ones to make this game, but either way, it did make me curious as to how the game would turn out with them behind it. So, I played through the whole thing, and I will give it this… it is LEAGUES better than Return of the Sinister Six, but aside from that, there is not much else going for it. It is still a bad Spider-Man game, one that not only comes with its own serving of licensed game bullshit and cheapness, but also manages to do nothing else to separate itself from many other pieces of media that involve the character.

The story is just another Thursday for any superhero, where a gang of Spider-Man’s most deadly villains have captured Mary Jane and threaten him with her life, so it is up to him to swing on out and stop them before it is too late, which is a story that’s about as compelling as watching a dust ball rolling across the floor. The graphics are Game Boy graphics, and the sprite work is… passable, but to its credit, I can at least tell what most things are, and again, it looks a whole lot better than that other Web-Bitch game that I played at one point, the music is incredibly forgettable, where I can’t recall a single thing I heard throughout my entire playthrough, but I have some faint memory of it not annoying me at all, so it has that going for it at least, and the gameplay/control is just as basic and sloppy as it sounds, with some mechanics that take some getting used to, but all in all, it does the job for playing this slog of a game.

The game is a 2D action platformer, where you take control of Spider-Web-Bitch-Man, go through a set of 6.75 levels, each taking place in a different location throughout New York, punch, kick, and web up many different enemies that you will come across, while making sure that you don’t let the game fight back against you so that you can actually do any of this properly, gather different capsules along the way to not only heal yourself when you need it, but also give you extra juice for your webs so that you can continue swinging and webbing to your heart’s content, and take on plenty of familiar foes in several boss fights, which can range from being as cheap and full of bullshit as you would expect, all the way to… the Rhino boss, where he just runs back and forth a bunch until you punch him to death. Great job with that one, guys. But anyways, you get everything you could ever expect out of a cheap Spider-Man game from back in the 90s here, and instead of being a completely unbearable experience all the way through, it is… a little unbearable all the way through, which is a blessing at this point.

If there was a checklist out there that could mark off every single little thing that a licensed game like this would do to ruin your day, then this game would check off a lot of those boxes, because a lot of these problems do pop up in one shape or form throughout your adventure. These problems include horrible combat, where you basic punches and kicks are delayed and feel really heavy, making it hard to tell whether or not you are hitting an enemy, or even when you should throw a punch or kick, awkward moves, where some moves like the different types of jumps you can do take a lot of time to get used to because of how bad they are, unfair difficulty, which sees countless enemies being thrown your way to create some sense of challenge, when it reality it is just an excuse to turn Spider-Man into a bloody corpse on the floor, and unfair sections, where all of those elements I just mentioned before are paired together with terrible platforming sections that I swear are impossible to get through without some sort of save states. It is all here, folks, and if you are able to stomach this stuff like I can, then chances are that you will have a bad time, but not to the point of wanting to rip your hair out. However, for any average gamer, one that would rather have a Spider-Man game like the ones that Insomniac are being forced to make until the end of time, you give them this for 10 minutes, and they will chuck it in the trash at the 5-minute mark.

However, to be fair, there were actually some parts of the game that I actually did kinda like. In-between some of the main levels, there are some stages where you are climbing up a building to reach your destination, which are a nice change of pace, and are simple enough to get a grasp on, even if some of that nonsense I mentioned earlier does get sprinkled in from time to time. Alongside that are these cutscenes that play in-between each level, which just has Spider-Man talking with one of villains while the two of them throw bad comic-lines back and forth at each other, which are funny to watch just for how low-effort they are. And finally, one thing that I am REALLY grateful for… whenever you die in this game and still have an extra life or two, you don’t get sent back to the beginning of the level, but instead, you respawn right where you died, and THANK GOD FOR THAT. Seriously, I can’t even imagine how you would be able to beat some of these levels without that kind of handicap.

Overall, despite some funny cutscenes, some fine levels here or there, and a very generous handicap, I can’t say this is anything more then just yet another cheap-ass Spider-Man game that was made for a quick buck to cash in on the superhero’s popularity, not only incorporating every single licensed game trick in the licensed game handbook to piss you off, but also not having its own identity when it comes to the gameplay, being as boring and generic as you could possibly imagine. Don’t bother checking it out, whether you are a fan of Spider-Man’s other games or not, because it really serves no purpose other than just to exist, and it doesn’t deserve any of your attention. Hell, let me be the one to play for you instead, just so I can warn you about the dangers of these games… which I am gonna have to do anyway, considering that this game apparently got two sequels, and I can already tell that they are gonna be… sigh, SO MUCH FUN! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Spider-Man… Spider-Man… gonna go splat like a spider can…

Game #561

Super Mario 64 is a game that means a lot to me.
It was one of the first video games that I came into contact with! Back when Google Videos was a thing, I remember coming across a TAS Speedrun of this game, and that's how I was introduced to it. I thought that all of the tricks the guy was doing, like backwards long jump, was all part of the game. Silly old me.

I remember when I was in the 4th grade, I used to play with some friends of mine roleplaying us going to various locations in Super Mario 64, and exclamating stuff like "Oh, it's too hot!" or "Brr, it's too cold!" depending on the painting we went to.
Good times.

Funnily enough though, I wouldn't get around to play the original Super Mario 64 until many years later. Before then, I only had access to the DS version, which I'll review one day.

In spite of the many stories I have with this game, and how much it means to me, it's interesting I don't consider Super Mario 64 to be one of my favourite games of all time. I think it mainly stems from other games just having an even bigger impact on me.

Mario makes his jump to the 3rd dimension, having full analogue movement and being able to do all kinds of moves! We've got Double and Triple Jump, the Wall Jump, the Long Jump, the Flip-Jump, a 3-hit punch combo, a Jump Kick, a Slide Kick, and for shits and giggles, we've got the Breakdance move, which I only use to make fun of the game's enemies. lol

It may seem complicated at first, but because all of these moves are tied to only 3 buttons (A, B and Z), you'll get to understand how Mario plays in no time. He's really fun to play as, and I'm glad Nintendo made him how he is!

The level structure has seen a bit of change from Mario's 2D titles. Instead of going to a stage, getting to the goal post, and moving on to the next stage, now in a level, you have Power Stars to get!
Power Stars are scattered all throughout the levels, and to beat the game, you only need 70 of them, out of 120.
Because of this, you have a lot of leeway in how you want to approach levels.

Levels are naturally designed to be sandbox-like in nature. So it's up to you on what you want to do, and how you want to explore a level.
Stages in general, aren't really too big, so most of the stars are easily obtainable.

All of with the exception of the 100-coin Stars. It's exactly what you think they are. They are stars that only appear when you gather 100 coins, and there is one of these in each of the game's 15 levels.
Now, not every one of these stars is hard to get. There are definitely some levels where it's easier to get it than others, like Course 2.
But some of these are an absolute grind!

So, here's some tips from someone who has played this game too much:
1. If you're going for 100%, make these the first stars you get!
I know that sounds odd, considering they're the most pain in the ass to get, but trust me, if you take care of them ASAP, you can comfortably go through the rest of the level without many problems.
2. Red and Blue Coins are extremely important!
Red Coins give you 2 coins, and Blue Coins give you 5. Whenever you see a Blue-Coins button, make sure your surrondings are clear, and that you immediately book to the blue coins that spawn so you don't miss any of them.
3. Unlike other stars in the game, 100-coin stars do not kick you out of the level, so that means you can get the 100-coin star of that level and get another star, like the Red Coin star of that level. 2 birds in 1 stone, as they say.

Outside of that, Princess Peach's Castle acts as your hubworld, and it's relatively small, but pretty fun to travel through. You need stars to unlock more levels, but many of the stars early in the game are relatively easy to get, so this shouldn't be much of an issue.
There are also the 3 Bowser levels, that you'll need to beat. These are more linear than the game's main 15 levels, and they are a great platforming challenge, with a fun boss at the end.

Which leads me into my next point, the boss fights!
They're okay. Yeah, most of these are very simple and don't provide many interesting mechanics of gimmicks. Outside of the Bowser fights... there's not many other bosses that will challenge you.
Even Bowser himself doesn't get challenging until you final encounter with him.

Bowser's model does look a bit funky, but the rest of the game is actually pretty nice to look at! Yeah, some of the game's textures are a bit too simple, but for a Nintendo 64 launch title, I'd say the game's charming low-polygon look still looks decent to this day!

Continuing with the presentation, there's also the soundtrack. A lot of songs here are very iconic, and well composed!
But... there's a lot of repetition, especially later in the game. No, game, I don't need the final 2 levels to have the same goddamn song.

Also, this game was the first one to have Mario speak!... in a mainline title.
Charles Martinet does a really good job as Mario, because inventing the iconic voice we still hear today, even if now we have a different voice actor for Mario.

Additionally, this game was also one of the first games to include a manual camera. Actually, I think it may've been this game that named the concept as a "camera", because Super Mario 64 contextualizes it as a Lakitu recording Mario's adventures on television, and that is really charming!
The camera itself is not bad, but it certainly can get stuck easily in tight spaces. I'll give the dev team a slack, because this was one of the first games to have a manual camera, but it definitely is one of things that hasn't aged gracefully.

In conclusion, there are a lot of things I love about Super Mario 64, but there are also some growing pains in this title that future games would fix. I have a lot of nostalgia with this one, so that's probably this review came out as big as it did, so despite the criticism I have with this game, it still holds a special place in my heart.
Rock on, Super Mario 64!

I honestly forget where I got this game, but I remember it was one of the first SNES games I ever played. The first was Super Mario World and I absolutely adored it. Because of that game, I got really into retro Nintendo games and some time after, I bought Yoshi's Island. Part of me thinks I bought this at my local flea market because it always reminded me of going there on the weekends. Yoshi's Island in general, is a big weekend game. I remember just playing it on my days off from school, and because of that it always gave off that vibe. Either way, I played through the game and loved it. I think since then, I only 100%ed it one other time or maybe not at all. So this was only, potentially, my 2nd time fully beating this game. I'm glad I did because just like Super Mario World, it's absolutely wonderful.

The most striking aspect of the game that you'll notice right away, is just how visually appealing it is. Its crayon-like artstyle is super pleasing to the eyes, and it also makes the most of the console and the newly created FX chip at the time. The FX chip was an add on to carts created by Argonaut Games (my beloved Croc developer). Basically, created to enhance the graphics of certain SNES games, and Yoshi's Island was one of the few games to use it. The FX chip, along with the wonderful artstyle, just gives the game this timeless look. Best looking game on the SNES imo, with Kirby's Dreamland 3 right behind it.

The gameplay itself is much more complicated than Mario World. In Yoshi's Island, you can run and jump and all that, but you can also create/throw eggs. Eating an enemy, and pressing down on the d-pad, let's you create eggs. These can be tossed at enemies and items and greatly enhances the regular Mario gameplay. You can have the eggs bounce off walls and based on the angle you threw it at, collect items you wouldn't have otherwise been able to get. You can have eggs skip across water. You can have eggs reflect against or be obtained by certain enemies and then thrown/hit back at you to get collectables. The egg mechanic gets utilized super well. This along with the varied level design makes the game a blast. Cuz yeah, the level design is super good in this game and is always throwing new things at you. Whether its the fuzzy enemies that make the screen all trippy, to the ski slopes in world 5, to the temporary platforms that disappear if you jump on them too much. And that's not even getting into the Yoshi transformations which are all fun too. Never was I bored with any level. Frustrated though? Maybe a little.

This is a good segway into the other half of the gameplay I wanted to talk about, the 100% requirements. See, unlike Super Mario World, you don't just have to beat each and every level and get all secret exits. You have to get a score of 100 in each level. There are three collectables that contribute to a score. Red coins, flowers and Yoshi's health. You must get all 20 red coins, all 5 flowers and have 30 health by the end of a level to get a score of 100. Then you do this in each world, 6 times for the normal levels and two times for each boss level. Then you unlock a bonus game and a bonus level. So why is this frustrating to do? Well, first it depends on the level. The early levels aren't too bad but some of the later levels are quite hard. The red coins appear as normal coins (tho there is a redness to them that is quite visible) so these can be tricky to find. The flowers are very obvious, you just have to be sure to find them. They hide both of these kind of collectables in some devious places sometimes. Usually it's not too bad but rarely, even now after having played the game before, I had to look them up because they're obtuse. This is all fine and dandy but the real hard collectable is the health. It all depends on how easy the stage is and how often they give you health in the stage, but sometimes it can be super difficult to have 30 star points (that's what the game calls the health) by the end of the game. Especially in that last world, hoo boy did I have to use an star point item in almost every one of those levels.

That's another thing the game has, you can get items (and live) from minigames at the end of stages. When you jump through the goal, and the ring stops on one of the flowers you collected in the stage, you can play a minigame. Like I said, it can give you lives but more importantly items. Some of these items suck but 2 of them give you +10 and +20 star points respectively. Seeing as, as long as you're alive, your star count always goes back up to 10. You can get hit as much as you want, get to the end of a stage, and pop a +20 and have full star points before ending a stage. Getting these items can be quite hard depending on the minigame, but the match cards game makes it super easy to grind these items out. You can replay this minigame as much as you want with the world 4 bonus game, so as long as you can 100% that world, going back to 100% every other level will be that much easier if you suck. Overall, I think the collectables are fun to collect and 100%ing the game isn't that bad because of the item system. The game can just be somewhat devious with its hidden collectables and its difficulty near the end game (that world 5 bonus level can suck it) which is why I found it a bit frustrating at points and not as replayable as Mario World. However, once I remembered you could at least cheese the star points in the endgame, this issue lessened a bit.

Something else I really liked were the bosses. Honestly, they're not all winners but they're probably better than any 2D Mario game. They all take full advantage of Yoshi's move set and egg mechanics and are also a treat to the eyes since they're usually so flashy looking too. I can really commemorate how creative they got with them. Like one of them has you getting eating by a frog and throwing giant eggs at the frog from within its stomach. There's a boss where you must use the egg water bounce mechanic to defeat it (or you can defeat it by killing it before the fight even begins, and Kamek has his own unique dialogue for doing so, so it's not even an exploit...it's a cheeseable method the developers put in which is hilarious). Just unique bosses all around. Baby Bowser at the end is one of the best final bosses in the series too I'd say. It takes a little getting used to with the whole change in perspective but its badass nonetheless. Also, the ending after that is so very heartfelt and feels good every time, I love it.

One other thing I wanted to mention was the game's OST. It's incredibly hard to dislike it, it's so happy and upbeat a lot of the time. The entire soundtrack is awesome but my two favorite songs are the Athletic Theme and the Underground Theme. They're my most listened to songs in the entire ost, and the underground theme especially is my absolute favorite in the game. That one always spoke to me and it out of any song in the game, gave me that whole weekend feeling I talked about earlier. I really don't know why, but I love it.

I originally had this game at a 9, and even despite my small criticism of the collectables, I can't help but bump this to a 10. I'd say I love Super Mario World slightly more but this is one of my favorite games ever and my 2nd favorite SNES game now. It's amazing, it's fantastic, it's wonderful. Go play it.

The first few minutes of Panzer Dragoon when your blue dragon majestically soars above the rippling water to the tune of Flight define a classic video game introduction that I doubt I will ever forget. A part of me expected the experience to be steadily downhill from there given the common complaints that I’ve heard, but to the game’s credit, it quickly established its defining hook and never let go. Panzer Dragoon was one of the first games to take total advantage of its 3D space, and it does so through its ability to rotate the player’s aim in 360 degrees. The catch is that while you can’t aim sideways/behind the dragon when looking forward, there’s a trade-off in that you can’t steer the dragon and change its mid-air position while in first-person aiming around the sides of/behind its body. As a result, there’s a precise science to swapping between these two camera modes. The macro never gets complex (shoot everything in sight while dodging and shooting down enemy attacks), but the micro is just involved enough to where there’s little downtime as you constantly peruse your surroundings and systematically pick off your foes. This is a game that wants the player to be aware of everything around them, and Team Andromeda was more than happy to let them soak in the sights given that the minimalist UI (simply consisting of a radar for spotting enemies and a player health bar) never really gets in the way. Even today, I find Panzer Dragoon to be an absolutely gorgeous game, and I can only imagine how people in 1995 felt playing this for the first time.

I’ve been warned that Panzer Dragoon’s difficulty can be a significant roadblock, but after a few playthroughs, I think it’s definitely conquerable. Besides mastering control of the player reticle/camera, players need to recognize when to utilize the homing laser lock-on (holding down the fire button) versus mashing to quickly fire the player’s handgun. The homing laser is great for getting rid of enemy swarms and easily targeting moving foes, while the handgun is a godsend for melting beefy mobs and bosses while sniping faraway targets that can’t be locked onto. In particular, Episode 3’s jumping ship boss is a notable chump check if you refuse to lock-on, while Episode 5’s airships will overwhelm you if you don’t mash. Additionally, I’ve also heard that Panzer Dragoon can feel very unforgiving since the player is allowed only one game-over before they have to restart a run, and the game only regenerates half of the player's health upon completing a level. However, given that the player can earn an extra credit per stage if they manage to shoot down more than 85% of the enemies in a single episode, I'd say there’s enough leeway given if the player takes the time to master its controls and meticulously defeat enough enemies instead of simply playing entirely defensive.

The only real gripe that I’d have is that enemy attacks sometimes blend into the background (ex: black cannonballs on top of dark environments) and can be tough to spot, especially when obscured by smoke effects from already defeated airships. I can still dodge most of these attacks with enough experience, having learning the enemy spawn positions, though it takes time to master given that players need to adapt to the game’s weightiness and natural response time. After all, you’re controlling a rider controlling a dragon rather than controlling the dragon itself, so it takes a bit more time to shift the model away from incoming barrages. As is, I’d still prefer if all enemy attacks were distinctly colored to stand out from both my own projectiles and the surroundings. Regardless, Panzer Dragoon was a breath of fresh air and I don’t mind its relative simplicity or brevity when it manages to succinctly capture an enthralling rail-shooting experience that I’ll gladly replay just to see myself visibly improve with every new run. All I can say is that this was certainly no flight of fancy; if the base model was this good, then I can’t wait to see what Team Andromeda/Smilebit have to offer with Zwei and Orta.

The NieR of Sonic games...? What?

I never played a Sonic game before, but after reading Phantasm's review and having heard Wheatie advocate for this game for quite some while now, I decided to finally check out the series with Sonic Adventure - and I'm glad I did!

To make sense of the weird opening one-liner, Sonic Adventure is a game told through the eyes of six different characters - which means you need to play through the story six different times to fully understand what's going on. Each character comes with an unique gimmick and win condition, ranging from collecting Emerald Shards as Knuckles to catching a pet frog as Big the Cat. The narrative itself is nothing groundbreaking, it's fairly standard fare with Eggman trying to use an ancient evil named Chaos to destroy the local Station Square and rebuild it under his management. Chaos is an interesting villain though, since he functions basically the same as Resident Evil's Nemesis and you fight him several times with different characters in different power levels, as he grows in power each time he consumes a Chaos Emerald (you see, the name is as straightforward as it gets). As for the individual character stories themselves, you're free to approach them in any order you'd like, as long as you met the character in Sonic's story and the game will notify you when a new story is available. Only after completing all six story modes, you'll gain access to an epilogue and be able to fight the true final boss.

The levels themselves have some interesting mechanics, and they especially get to shine in Sonic's levels (as he's not a gimmicky character), I'll take the Lost World level as an example. While Knuckles can just crawl up the walls here with his moveset, Sonic has to rely on switches that allow him to walk on certain anti-gravity tiles on the wall or use mirrors to shine light on mirrors to illuminate a dark path. But it doesn't always have to be so complex, sometimes snowboarding down a giant mountain with an avalanche in the background is all you need. Even if I had a fun time with most of the levels, one of my biggest complaints is still the rebellious auto camera, which especially hates Sonic zooming through the zones at lightning speed and then jumps to some nonsensical angles, causing you to have no clue what's going on and miss your inputs. I'm not particularly mad at those camera shenanigans (would be lying if I told you it wasn't funny), but there are times where the jank goes from charming to annoying territory. Another thing I'd like to address is the strange progression sometimes outside of levels in the hub worlds. Thankfully there are red hint orbs in the game telling you where to go when you're feeling lost, but even then, sometimes the hints are so vague that I still found myself resorting to GameFAQs guides in order to locate where to head next. This would hardly be an issue on replays, but I couldn't find the raft for the life of me the first time I had to use it.

Sonic Adventure is a very ambitious game for the time it released and it's not only reflected in the level design, but also in the soundtrack, which covers a variety of musical genres and also uses higher quality instruments as opposed to a MIDI soundfont, which was possible thanks to the Dreamcast's advanced audio hardware. My favorite song is Amy's theme, My Sweet Passion, but I'm also particularly fond of Tikal's Theme and Mechanical Resonance. The Egg Carrier Theme needs a shoutout for itself, just for how catchy it is.

In the end, Sonic Adventure was a nice little departure from all the JRPGs I've played recently and I'm now eager to try the acclaimed Adventure 2 and other Sonic games in general - this includes the Steam version of Sonic Adventure DX, where I'm hoping to go for 100% when I get to it :D

For all intents and purposes, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth AKA part 2 of the FF7 project is an outstanding remake that should be praised, critiqued, and enjoyed by fans of the original and newcomers to any JRPG coming from part 1. And for me I have a Midgar-size to unload. First, I’m no expert in determining if a remake and sequel to the first portion of Final Fantasy VII Remake with a massive AAA budget can succeed in its lofty ambitions or at the very least decisively conclude it is better than the first installment. My criteria differ from everyone’s standards, but I’ll try to fairly judge the awesome substance along with detailing what it could improve.

I do want to state before I start that I'm not a fan of FFVII(1997). Doesn’t mean I hate it or it is automatically bad. I favorably look at aspects they brought to the table by evolving from the past entries. What works, what doesn’t, offer evidence behind claims, critique, move on. The series core has a way of continually shifting and embarking on new journeys than retreading old familiar grounds. Sequels are the exception. For what it's worth, the seventh in the series is firmly within my top ten. And I've played over 23 titles in the IP. So I'm average with the lore, story, characters of the world. Devoured the connecting spin-offs, anime, film, and light novels. Heck, my first unofficial entry to the franchise is via Crisis Core for the planet's sake. As a result, I like quite a fair bit of the universe created. I say this early on to defuse any misconceptions of negativity. I’ll try to keep the following text as spoiler free as possible. Failing that, you have my explicit permission to call upon Ramuh to smite me down. Or Ifrit if you prefer scorched BBQ.

Bear with me as I put my mixed feelings first then move onto the good stuff. Merely concerns I had in varying degrees of quality tilting my head at various moments during my adventure.

I’m disappointed to say those who didn’t like the first entries' linear sections, make a dreaded return here. There’s so much padding nearly everywhere. Where I’m forced to overcome numerous obstacles through a straight path. Impeding my progress. Blocks on the road where I cannot move at my own pace from A to B. Unless I find a solution to my current barriers. Hurdles where a screen of tutorials will display providing information on the unique circumstances to progress. From beginning-middle until endgame. The messages never end in both main and side content. Not all of them are frustrating, but I can’t for the life of me praise at least one during a mandatory plot segment. Use a mako vacuum to overcome an obstacle while walking unbearably slow. Rerouting power via cables, climbing passages galore, sling-like Tarzan with grappling wooden/steel beams. Where my buddies consist of a frowning, no-nonsense mercenary, an endearing flower girl, a thug with a gun on his arm, a bartender/pugilist, and a talking dog who must undergo these mundane annoyances. Don’t get me started with unwilling stealth zones in some mandatory and side stuff as well. Stretching the avenue in mindless work of what would otherwise be a normal route with some leeway to explore in a regular dungeon taking the fun and excitement out of my body. An illusion tricking my mind of the ‘ooohhh’ and ‘ahhhing’ of spectacle.

To be fair, I didn’t mind these obstruction elements early on, but when I'm grumbling to repeat yet another ascending rock, ninja labors, and new tutorials to solve my current dilemma. Though, I won’t call them ‘puzzles’ but more like mindless busywork solvable by process of elimination. In effect halting the pacing and making me groan internally once again. The first had these as well, and for what it is worth it's an improvement from XIII and XV’s iterations from the usual hallway simulators and open-world nature. However, I still didn’t like the beeline routes in the remake. Whereas in the original release. I didn't need to spend hours in a dungeon. For example, in one large layout without saying any spoilers. Took me over five hours to complete. In the initial game, the same dungeon took an hour - <- spoilers for the original game inside link. To complete everything. I checked the reported lengths to complete the game and users online said similar times. Not gonna link due to spoilers, but if you check YouTube on dungeon comparison in walkthroughs. Such as mine taking four to five hours to complete the same place. Likewise, one dungeon near the end feels so forced to play as one character and engage in yet no one's surprise a linear path. Taking the haunting vibes in favor of a frustrating if not cute atmosphere marred by boxes… Just no no no. Not to say every dungeon takes that amount of time, but it is something to note going forward. With that said I feel most of these large dense places need to be cut in my honest opinion. I didn’t come here to play a three-hour chunk to reach the next adventure beat.

Don’t get me wrong, Square Enix’s work on the title has already been shown earlier in the first part to detail not a 1 to 1 retelling of the same game. Kind of a sequel/modern/recreation/re-imagining take to the past FFVII compilation/universe. Designed as a way to give old and new players a fresh, but familiar take of the aforementioned classic from 1997. Rebirth and the preceding title stretch both the material in ways I'm still coming to grips years later for better or worse.

For comparison, I recorded my entire playthrough, dividing the main scenario, optional content, and dungeon sectors and I can only conclude the dungeons will take at minimum depending on how fast and how thorough you are in exploring and battling or running. At least an hour to three hours on average. For each dungeon. Coming from someone like me who likes to explore a lot and attain as much as I can, that's a pretty long time. When put side-by-side with the extra content I devoured against the story-only segments, I emerged with less than fifty hours for the story, and the rest were completing the countless minigames and non-base content. For a total of 88 hours. And honestly I was tired by the end. Partially due to the fact of the repetitive nature. Finishing 95% of total activities except 2 side quests(which requires mini-game completion), replaying the entire length on hard difficulty with post-game challenges as well. How Long to Beat & the trophy guide will show analogous data to attain 100%. Granted times will vary. Don’t take my hours as definitive. Playstyles will differ. In my case, I don’t idle. And I don’t rush. So the numbers given above are raw gameplay completing activities.

Perhaps instead of climbing, stealth, and other hurdles we face on repeat. I would’ve favored these aspects more if the developers Creative Business Unit I(CBUI) introduced new, unfamiliar, and fun obstacles to overcome than recycling and reusing the same old methods. Letting us use an elevator or slide our way to the top somehow. Instead of sneaky mode, implement a dialogue check at different points if they are disguised. There is already a relationship meter atop our characters' heads to reflect their current status to Cloud, changing depending on answers given to the recipient. Thus I can’t imagine it can’t be too hard to inject for one passage. Heck, it's kind of similar to passing the lie/truth side-scenario in the Dust Bowl. Since there is plenty of clambering, why not include an extensive platforming branch or puzzle tomb to get from one starting place up to the treasure room? Traversal and how to get there would’ve been a wonderful inclusion. Think Assassin’s Creed’s Ezio when hunting for relics in tombs, Lara Croft from Tomb Raider or the titular character from Prince of Persia to avoid many traps. Moreover, the man with a machine gun arm could’ve demolished rock obstacles in my way not repetitively, but if I was trapped in a cave with multiple paths. Blasting different boulders atop could help stop a wave of monsters incoming on our positions. The talking dog could be used to enter smaller entryways to unlock a roadway for my allies. I could think of more possible ones, but I don’t want to litter pages here. Instead, this is to display how I could think of alternate suggestions I thought within 10 minutes. Imagine if everyone who played could say different ideas. Says a lot for an over hundred-hour game to constantly recycle the same old methods. Resulting in predictableness and dullness.

Would benefit immensely from a skip minigame option for both the story and optional content. I don't want to go through a boring repeating button segment. Hitting a specific combination on a controller or the same old solution moving a slowpoke of a cart again. Every single time I go and sync with a summon you have to hit a specific order of presses to bond. I have no idea why I have to do this three times on repeat. And there are more than eight in the game… Furthermore, anytime I have to receive regional lore concerning any place I have to press a timed button and again three times for each place. I need to repeat these mind-numbing routines in a handful of regions. A simple shortcut option would work wonderfully instead of forcing the player to engage with the systems. In Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 I was able to skip their contrived restrictions of familiar button minigames with no sweat nor downtime. To the point, I earned a reward for completing the activity!

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth isn’t just a JRPG it’s a game spliced with Ubisoft Tower DNA. I kid you not I traveled dozens of these in regions to show nearby locations. I don’t have to unlock them, since you can stumble upon them if you stray from your main objective. But I felt I had to experience everything the game had to offer. Not purely for the story. The side content deserves to be experienced. In a YMMV area. And so climbing the tall structures is nearly the same for everyone. Usually with monsters nearby and barely any change in obstacles soaring to the top. Horizon Zero Dawn uses the same Ubisoft formula except with walking dinosaurs and every time you scale their appendages presents a challenge to get onto the robo-dino. I liked it. Was a fresh take on the formula. Part 2, doesn’t mobilize with creativity and at its most basic form clones the same functional schematic. I wish I could snipe it from far away to activate if something is blocking the antenna. Use a thunder spell, or slap fire spell to destroy vines forming an obstacle. One obstacle I liked was flying to my destination. Though, such an example only occurred in one region. Hence, I feel the developers could’ve created innovative endeavors rather than having to resort back to good old recycling. And I’ve played my decent share of Ubisoft tower games being over 12 entries. If players enjoy these types of rising to the top then I salute you. But for me, Square could do better.

This is relative in the world being a checklist and lifeless at times. All regions barely have anyone in their region to converse and interact with when roaming. Most if not all quest givers are located in their respective cities and towns. And yes there are other denizens within the settlements to converse with, but it is all located mostly with other people. This is painful to witness and experience when I am on the road and admiring the landscape and come across new mobs, but see the same types once I travel enough in a region. Expanding on the checklist most if not all side activities boil down to extermination monsters, fetch chores in retrieving an ingredient from the said place or creature, and returning to the employer. Variations will exist sometimes like following a person delving into one more stealth section or traversing on a mount. But most boil down to boring design. Some of which made me excavate using my chocobo’s senses to follow a trail and then dig for the item. One assignment had me use a sort of radar to find the exact location. No arrow at all except a circle pulsing. I think if the world was more populated adding in travelers. Not allocating all job-givers in a single location within settlements and introducing better sidequest implementation. The execution of which leaves a lot to be desired. Better investigations. Reduction in fetches in favor of already having the item in our stock or bartering for it while giving off a lore bit during discussion. Increase variation in fiend secondary objectives than the standard pressure, stagger, and kill everyone. Or remove them entirely. Such a lack of meaningful implementation leaves me filled with busy work and more like a chore than a fulfilling endeavor to look forward to. Leaving me in a state of confusion and bewilderment.

I did not like the restricted freedom in traversal, whether on foot or on mounts. Regions you encounter being large zones to freely travel there’s a steady amount of verticality to head towards whether above or low normal elevation. Nevertheless, I hit multiple invisible walls constantly as I tried to jump from a very tall cliff to the bottom since some places I traversed didn’t land where I was supposed to. I tried jumping off a cliff only to fail, thereby I had to go all the way around before finally landing on my destination. This is infuriating. Why can’t I jump from the tallest point and suffer an HP cost or none? The year is 2024 and I can’t believe I have to say this, but the game has no shortage of invisible walls. Pressing a button on your controller will help speed you down a sharp incline only if there are ‘steps.’ Without these you’re SOL. What’s baffling is two mounts circumventing these issues entirely, but my character, an EX-soldier can’t land from a high elevation? Square Enix please play Xenoblade Chronicles and take notes.

By extension, I don’t like having to manually gather materials anytime on foot or a mount. Yet when I acquired traversal vehicles later on I could gather them automatically. I’m again mystified why I can auto-pick them up through a mount but have to resort to manual pick-ups of materials I may need. The devs clearly knew earlier on. Except I'm forced once again to enlist with tediousness. And trust me the game litters the world with common, uncommon, and rare materials to freely transmute as if I'm some impromptu full metal alchemist. Good luck trying to get the right ones if you can’t find them for some quests requiring key items to be made.

Without saying spoilers. A new addition to the remake is Interlude sequences. These consist of playable sections using a certain character I won’t name. But suffice it to say I feel their global inclusion needs to be overhauled. Similar, but different from ones like FFVIII. There we could battle, earn experience, change our equipment, interact, talk to both the citizenry, and volunteer in fun activities. Here we barely interact with the world and are stuck in a linear pattern to complete before we're back on the main content. And this is a mandatory story. So you can’t bypass it. It is like teasing older veterans on you know what, but you actually can’t do much of anything. A missed opportunity to interest both old and new in the figure which I like quite a fair bit. Remember what I said previously about padding? We could use the AAA budget in the interlude, please. Not less than ten minute moments.

I feel the pacing and major villain suffer in consistency as I absorbed and devoured as much of the game. The former(pacing) is tangled in a web of Ubisoft towers with poor sidequest implementation coupled with an absence of quality of life regarding countless button assignments leaves me fatigued despite resting on days to embrace a slow-burn plot that doesn’t hit their strides until later on. The latter(villain) and extends to minor antagonists feel like someone teasing me from far away. As if “Na na na you can’t get me.” Accurate from the original yet becomes more infuriating with the lack of any real achievement upon fighting them. By achievement, only a small modicum of advancement, fluff, and perchance a bit of drama details emerge to move the group along and ascertain with one another “ All right so what have we learned, and what can we do better?” Reusing the same old trick again when moving on. Although, some segments do spice up the encounters to be different and unique. The fact I only saw their interactions change and the climax propelling faster near the endgame. And not in the middle of the game’s story. There’s a lot of focus on padding unnecessary content without giving proper characterization. One chapter takes place in a cave and after voice lines are given from an enemy encounter, I have control of my members only to realize they barely engage in banter. Calling out their moves sure and mottos yes. But nothing to extend their relationship further with bonds. Maddening to witness going through multiple sections with nothing but silence as my companion. While in reverse when finishing some side activities I am treated to some pure development straight from the heart. And here I am left wondering what in the gates hell is going on with my non-existent friendly banter. Did they run out of expenses for more voice lines? Or was it all used for Chadley's (a friendly NPC from the preceding entry) budget because his face is the most I’ve seen whenever I initiate any side activity… wish some of the money went into a M&*(New NPC) budget.

Perhaps the biggest offender to me is the motivation to complete the main story. Any game worth their salt needs to have a compelling plot. We can reduce this simple notion to some regular examples. Revenge, stop ‘x’ person, find out why I have missing memories, find a method for ‘y’ idea. Etc etc. Within the 2024 title, our task is to stop someone who-I-shall-not-name but you can probably figure out who. Along with the goal of saving the planet is sorely lacking. The turtle pace narrative walks instead of blazes. Out of the total 14 chapters, only the chapter [blank] finally moved the glaciers out of my way in my opinion. Some of which were merely a warm-up. By the end, I didn’t feel like I reached a definitive answer to my motivation at the start and was left helpless, confused, and horribly misled.

Lastly, maybe a hot take, I couldn’t help but feel a decent amount of camera work stayed too far on certain antagonists as if to give importance or impending doom. The former of which I don’t need to know the layout of a room before hitting the dude's clothing drip or his lips. The latter of which relates to my point on the villain as if poking at the player to remember they are still a grave and present threat looming over their heads. And the ‘headaches’ we receive frequently to distort our reality into a green filter television flashback in ala schizophrenia leaves me groaning every time I see it. I know the man is in pain. I know he is suffering. Yes, I will expect another occurrence again in the following cutscene. With minor variations in between. Makes me think of splendor shots as if the cutscene director wants their audience to embrace the spectacle. And to its credit, some very impressive moments took my breath away. However, not every shot or angle is up to par and I’m sad to report the camera work at times feels excessive to the point of unnecessary.

I hope my mixed feelings aren't a turnoff. Think of them as major concerns that severely impacted my overall experience. Merely trying to say the above text could be better and improved from what didn’t work out for me. Not to be taken as the ultimate egregious stain upon the landscape of gaming or JRPGs in general. And if some take that to heart well you have my permission to send Bahamut to obliterate me. Besides, the game could be far worse… like full of microtransactions, bugs, and crashes, improper balancing, nonsensical narrative, boring characters, a weak villain, etc. Yet I'm glad to report the game is nothing like those horrible examples. Anyway, now is the time for the awesome stuff. With our party exiting Midgar and embracing the wild wilderness outside the yoke of Shinra’s capital. To find answers and well hunt someone-who-I-again-shall-not-name.

Rebirth is faithful and bold. Excelling in recreating some of my favorite spots back in the original and enhancing nearly everything from combat, music, cutscenes, bonds between friends, etc. I could imagine. The over-and-beyond soundtrack and great range in the countless voice actors to the satisfying combat are nearly the same as the first installment but the addition of synergy skills adds a new tactical layer of syncing up with my ally and delivering punishing blows. And the pleasing visual aesthetic of seeing Kalm, the first town you visit is breathtaking, but more so for every city/town you visit as well. Like by the lifestream seeing Junon with a big freaking cannon jutting out into the ocean still gives me shivers. Cosmo Canyon, a place if anyone ever visited the Grand Canyon in America is of a comparable breadth and scale except steampunked and teeming with monsters, but futuristic with windmills and strapped to the rocky cliffside and denizens living freely without the yoke of oppression from Shinra. Without a doubt, the locations are given maxed attention in both scale and exploration to freely travel between several layers of a city. Don’t get me started on the jungles of Gongaga. I embraced my inner gaga over there.

Characters by far receive adequate characterization and some of their development is hidden in their sidequests. The quality of which is just as satisfying to witness once you earn the end of a side objective. My man with a machine gun easily hits powerful lines almost every time he reflects or delivers passionate speeches. Played by John Eric Bentley, he delivers words like a critical point past midpoint and hidden within a cutscene delving deep into his past providing not only proper development but nuance in his self-reflections concerning others. Most of all he’s not afraid to say it and I deeply admire him. Making his actions later on with his comrades heartwarming. Briana White who voices Aerith equally delivers an emotional range from funny and wholesome to genuinely gripping me with her performances. I saw neither cringe nor an inadequacy of tone in any of my allies in general and as a result, the cutscenes pertaining to each of my comrades' screen time were enjoyable. Heck, the talking dog rises past mountains and bites the cosmos zenith delivering one of the funniest scenes in the game. To the point, I prefer this version’s take than the old one haha. And the sheer range they undergo, once I learn new facets of their personality, is both amusing and shocking. I also feel there’s a greater emotional spectrum at play here concerning the main cast. Tifa and Aerith’s budding friendship is heartening to observe as are the darker feelings my cabal undergoes when the narrative dips back into the dark hold of Shinra’s all-encompassing reach over the planet. For every nice moment my group encounters a looming shadow is stalking them. And I like how not all is fine and dilly dally. Makes the cast relatable and human. Although, I wish Cloud would emote a bit. His facial expression is too stoic at times, but when he does delve into more emotions oh it is a sight…

The cinematography is oh my lord exceptionally well done. I know I groaned about the slow burn early on, and some camera work being excessive but goodness, when you cross after the midpoint. The story cutscenes set the tone right - Clean sequences, no hard cuts constantly to confuse the viewer on the action moments and landing the poignant spots when needed. With the voice actors enhancing these scenes to the limit. Various points during the endgame were magical and beautiful. The flow of which offers a nice break from the usual humor and fluff from the side scenarios reeling back the curtain of the main adventure. But I must say, one long sidequest chain being proto-relics regarding the super boss is pretty sick and the attention to detail and care is lovingly crafted. Fans of the series will take special gratification in experiencing all their quirks and epicness.

No copy-paste for enemies and most environments. By the end of my journey I found a total of 230 unique enemies. No different colored variations or slight increases in HP and power differences either. These mobs will chew and spit you out if you’re not careful. On normal difficulty I found the balance to be justtttt right. Didn’t find battles too easy or too insurmountable. Environments for the most part didn’t repeat as if the 3D artists got lazy. Every area you visit, be it a city/town or a hidden place tucked away reveals something beautiful and mesmerizing. I can’t count the number of times I admired the land and embraced the call of nature. Screw the main assignment and subsidiary content. I’m becoming a photographer! Heck check some of these shots here and here (insert photos)

No complaints whatsoever for part 2 shatters the limit break on soundscape design here. I would equate it similarly to how FFXVI composition goes but differently. I can’t help but notice whenever I gather new intel the music would dynamically change. Specifically towers. Vocals and instrumentals are more fleshed out as you embrace more intel and my god almighty I'm reminded of whenever FFXIV introduces a new trailer for their expansion you don’t get the full trailer, instead you get a teaser before getting the full course meal. Essentially we listen to an adequate sampler then upon reward hear a better-improved version as I progressed in each region is incredible. And good lord almighty Masashi Hamauzu and Mitsuto Suzuki the composers hit the baseball flying into a homerun reaching outer space. It's phenomenal. No copy-paste and recycling of old tracks. You will undoubtedly hear new remixes, arrangements, instrumentals, vocals and so much more while playing. Shifting and changing as I played more and more. Battles, sidejobs, new areas, main story, and cutscenes all have their unique flair of variety. Resonating with my ears. By the time I entered one weird region called Gongaga, I put my controller down and had my hands over my eyes. Silently listening to powerful emotional moments brought by flute wind and percussion instruments among others I can’t for the life of me identify due to screaming internally how a track touches my heart. For those who played a certain title in the FF7 compilation I 100% felt one person's spirit manifested and oh so pure. The feeling is Indescribable. And then I'm treated to a bow wow wow as if I'm suddenly transported onto a jolly happy place filled with children chorusing a heartwarming rendition to give me enough incentive to conquer anything and everyone in my path. Move over final boss. Once I’m listening to the beat of the bow wow I am unstoppable!

Pivoting to minigames, some of which are truly enjoyable to the extent I kept coming back. Out of more than a dozen to play around with. Without any contest. I must say Queen’s Blood(QB) reigns supreme. Fans of the series know about the Triple Triad, a 3x3 grid where you and one other player duke it out card style to win. QB is similar except we have a bigger grid to manage along with more cards to fiddle around with. Up to fifteen. I won’t go into explaining the mechanics, rather I want to say how satisfying it is to go through the side content and challenge QB players who have a passion for the cards. Bonus points for the team to cheekily take great notes from The Witcher 3’s Gwent pre-match camera angles cause man Cloud and whoever he faces offers a mean frowning “Come and get some!” face-off before entering the battle stage. And thankfully enough the difficulty is balanced I would say. There’s an interesting questline integrated into beating new and experienced veterans only to secure the thrilling conclusion near the end. Such care and thought only deserve every ounce of praise in my eyes. Rules feel fair, thankfully not overly complex. Large assortment of cards to collect and over thirty people to challenge and partake in special survival and puzzle matches too! Seriously makes me wonder if we'll face off a new big bad villain with a card game in the next installment. I can't wait! I need this version in FFXIV please!

Anyway, here are other fantastic ones to try. Leapfrog aka Frogger is a nice way to avoid the spinning beams. Fort Condor goes all out on low poly tower defense. Running Wild is like Rocket League, except with animals. 3D-Brawler is an awesome boxing game using poly characters of our members vs poly enemies. Galactic Saviors is an on-rail shooter ala star-fox kind. Can’t forget a full course Chocobo racing with separate tournaments to enter. Honestly, that one feels like its own game with different races to enter. Heck, there’s even a Wall-E-like Tower defense, but you can input your gambits. I could list extra, but I’ll refrain.

Despite what I said earlier about the padding of both story and optional content. To play devil's advocate against myself I do think on the flip side. The result of engaging with the subsidiary content reveals vital characterization for your companions. I touched on the notion with a machine gun guy. But to expand further without getting into the nitty gritty. If a player finishes all the main story content before moving into a new region and decides to complete remaining the side missions within the area. They are treated to an aftermath of story events prior about my friends. Mostly at the conclusion. Sometimes calling back to familiar NPCs we met and knew about in the past game. Making their presence feel more alive in developing their interpersonal relationships. We also get payoffs on some unanswered inquiries regarding our side-cast in the midpoint. Reveal startling lore bombs on what we know of the planet and as you dove deeper reveal further details. By endgame, I ultimately liked the ambition and deviations shifting outside the norm conceptually and with respect to certain areas to old material in a modern form. But can’t help but think their execution needs work to make it fun and gratifying. If I am treated to a tedious quest design only to reveal a paragraph of lines of development from the main cast to the side cast or vice-versa within the entire product to give me joy. Then I think something needs to change to make the long-term experience enjoyable and not half-and-half.

A triple ‘A’ JRPG remake of this caliber is a sight to behold. However, in my honest opinion, it could be improved a lot. Despite the praise I stated previously, it is not without imperfections. My numerous mixed feelings severely impacted my overall experience to the point I found underneath the splendor lies a stern absence of respecting the player’s time and freedom to participate in its padded nature. A shortage of quality-of-life features like a simple skip minigame(than a reduction in difficulty, from the latest patch) or lessening the involuntary barriers during linear slices. Would’ve done wonders to not forcibly engage with the long dungeons included thereby halting the pacing and breaking the momentum of the plot beats. And an ending I'm frankly disappointed at which I’ll explain more in a separate spoiler link regarding a breakdown why. Though I am glad many enjoyed this title greatly, I can't help but feel wary if I constantly fill the Square Enix’s CBUI heads with clouds of praise without fair critique. That is why I find this title enormously troublesome to rate fairly. After spending weeks bashing my head back and forth, plus reading what my friends had to say and reading those on the other side praising/enjoying/loving everything Rebirth has to offer. I am still shaking my head in distress. Furthermore, I don’t like being baited or teased endlessly, and inside the 2024 title clearly showed plenty. If you’re onboard with that and more such as exploding your suspension of disbelief at times then you will have no problem turning off your brain here. I’m still kinda looking forward to the last entry, but the bigger question I’ve been asking myself is if this remake/re-imagining is something all other companies will take heavy inspiration from and I believe they should for the right reasons. Left unsaid I hope my overall conclusion doesn’t deter the game from prospective buyers. My intention is never to be harsh on a game from which fans adore everything the remake offers. But to inform with evidence what worked well and what didn’t for me. And pray the information helps someone.

5.7/10

Additional Material:
FFVII - Rebirth Ending Analysis - good defense on why this works - ending spoilers
My spoiler thoughts on FFVII Rebirth. Every chapter breakdown - same warning as above

I was born too late for the SEGA Dreamcast, but I was born just in time for the Nintendo GameCube, and one of my favorite games growing up was Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s Cut. I loved this game immensely growing up, and I played and replayed it over and over again, to the point where the disc wore out and stopped working. As the years went by, and I got older and came to play a wider variety of games, I eventually stopped enjoying Sonic games as much as I used to when I was little, to the point where nowadays I view the franchise with nostalgic indifference. It’s something that I definitely used to love and I might check in on occasionally, but it rarely occupies a space in my brain these days. Recently, those feelings of nostalgia took hold of me when I learned about how the DX version of Sonic Adventure was apparently a lot worse in comparison to the original. I read that it introduced new bugs and glitches, and it changed the game’s overall visual style for the worse. So, out of curiosity, and because I wanted to be reminded of old times, I decided to emulate the original Sonic Adventure to see how much better it actually was in comparison to the allegedly maligned DX version, and in all honesty, I don’t really think that DX is as much of a downgrade as I was led to believe. The game itself wasn’t as much of a fun nostalgia ride as I’d hoped it’d be, either.

Dr. Eggman has returned with a new plan for world domination, and this time he’s in command of a creature known as Chaos, a liquid monster who grows more powerful and changes shape after being fed the legendary Chaos Emeralds. Sonic and company all get involved with Eggman’s plot in some fashion, as they attempt to stop him from feeding Chaos all seven emeralds and wrecking untold havoc upon the world. You play as Sonic and five other characters, each with their own style of gameplay and personal narratives that occasionally crossover with one another.

I have to admit, reviewing this game is rather difficult for me. I played DX growing up so much that I know the game like the back of my hand. I’m used to the physics, I’m used to the boss fights, I know where I’m supposed to go and when, I can quote so many voice lines… basically I can play this game almost without thinking. There may be aspects of the game that I find easy that other people might struggle with. Sonic Adventure is a bit of a finicky game, and getting acclimated to how the game feels and controls may not come as naturally to others as it comes to me. Once you get used to it though, the whole game is very much a walk in the park. Each character shares the same core controls, but they also have their own abilities which make them unique.

Sonic’s campaign is by far the most fun in the game, and clearly where the most attention was given. His stages simply take the speed focused platforming approach of the 2D games and apply it to levels made in 3D. Sonic’s stages are often long and made up of multiple sections with a variety of different environments and music tracks for each section. Sonic for the most part feels pretty good to control, especially when you manage to get him going at higher speeds. The biggest problem that I have both with Sonic’s stages and with the game in general is easily the awful camera. The camera often acts like it has a mind of its own, and when Sonic or other characters go at high speeds, it often can’t keep up with them, or it’ll get stuck on level geometry, freak out, and prevent you from seeing where you’re going. The only times I ever died during my replay of this game was when these camera issues happened, and they happen most frequently when you’re going at high speeds through tunnels like in Sky Chase or Speed Highway. Sometimes to get the camera under control, you just gotta slow down and give it a second to catch up, which can be annoying, but it’s not the worst.

As mentioned, the rest of the cast all have their unique styles of gameplay, but for the most part, they all reuse various sections of Sonic’s stages. Some characters have sections of stages unique to them, and there is one stage (Hot Shelter) that Sonic doesn’t have that other characters do, but 95% of the other characters’ stages are reused or slightly edited sections of Sonic’s stages, and their gameplay for the most part isn’t different or interesting enough to really feel substantial. Playing as the other characters can feel rather repetitive and boring as a result.

Tails is easily the best example of this. His stages involve racing an AI-controlled Sonic through chopped up sections of Sonic’s stages. Tails can’t run as fast as Sonic, but he can fly, and there are these booster rings he can fly through that allow him to take shortcuts that Sonic can’t utilize himself. It’s never a challenge to outpace Sonic, and Sonic can sometimes get stuck on level geometry and not even advance forward at all until he rubber bands and teleports right next to you in order to catch up.

Knuckles’ stages have him searching for broken pieces of the Master Emerald. His ability to glide and climb walls allows him to explore stages in a way Sonic can’t, making the stages themselves a lot more open and exploration focused. His gameplay is different enough from Sonic’s that replaying stages isn’t really that big of a deal. His stages are my next favorite after Sonic’s.

Amy’s campaign is surprisingly fun. Amy has to flee from an invincible robot called Zero, which chases her across all of her stages. Amy’s on the slower side, but she has her own special movement abilities and attacks she can perform with her Piko Piko Hammer to make up for it. She also has the most unique content compared to the other playable characters that aren’t Sonic, as she has sections of Sonic’s stages that he doesn’t get to experience himself, such as the fun house in Twinkle Park. My only complaint is that she has the least amount of stages in the game (three in total).

Then there’s Big’s campaign… Big has always been rather infamous when it comes to discussions surrounding this game. As opposed to every other character’s gameplay, which is generally focused on exciting action, or high speed setpieces, Big the Cat’s gameplay involves fishing for his pet frog named Froggy. There are pools of water in stages that are occupied by Froggy as well as other fish, and you have to catch Froggy in order to clear Big’s stages. I think it’s pretty understandable why people don’t care for Big’s campaign. His gameplay is so different from everyone else’s, and if you want to complete the story, you have no choice but to do them. The fishing itself isn’t especially fun either, and it can be confusing because the game itself doesn’t really explain how fishing works. I remember being so frustrated and angry with Big’s levels as a kid because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, and didn’t realize that you needed to flick the control stick down whenever Froggy bites onto the lure in order to actually hook him onto it so that you can start reeling him in. To the game’s credit, fishing is explained in the game’s instruction booklet (both this version and DX’s), so it’s a bit hard to blame it for not telling you what you’re supposed to do. That doesn’t change the fact that the fishing itself is still not particularly engaging. At the very least, it’s not difficult at all once you figure out how it works.

Finally, there’s E-102 Gamma’s campaign. Gamma is a robot built to serve Dr. Eggman. His stages involve running and gunning, blasting enemies and obstacles and defeating a boss at the end of each stage. I don’t really know how else to describe Gamma’s stages other than braindead. That might sound a bit harsh, but I genuinely can’t think of any other way to put it. You hold down the action button to target obstacles, wait to target as many as you can, and then Gamma will fire auto-homing shots to destroy targets. It’s also hilariously easy to just stun lock all of the bosses at the end of Gamma’s stages and keep them from fighting back at all.

The story, much like the gameplay, is ambitious, and I do actually think it’s executed well enough. However, the horrible dialogue and the stilted 90’s voice acting can really knock the wind out of its sails. It’s charming enough to find it funny, but very much in a “so bad it’s good” kinda way. Eggman’s voice actor is an exception though. Deem Reginald Bristow actually kills it with his performance. It’s really lively compared to every other character in the game, and he sounds like he’s honestly having a lot of fun with the role, as opposed to everyone else, who just sounds like they’re phoning it in.

By far the best part about this game is its soundtrack. God, to this day nothing really hits me like this game’s soundtrack. It’s honestly pretty damn close to perfect. Each track just adds so much to the immersion of each stage, while also being immensely groovy or electrifying songs on their own. Some of my favorite tracks include Run Through the Speed Highway, Red Hot Skull, and Pleasure Castle, but in all honesty, pretty much every single song is a banger, and aside from maybe some of the vocal tracks, it’s really difficult to find a song that isn’t great in this game.

As for how this compares to the DX version, I think that visually, environments look a lot more appealing in comparison. The textures in the Dreamcast version are a lot more colorful, and places like the Mystic Ruins look far more lush and appealing. Other than that though, I’ll be honest: I don’t think that this version has much else that makes it worth playing over DX. For the sake of making a good faith comparison, I did play through a chunk of Sonic’s levels really quickly in DX to see if I could run into any obvious bugs or glitches, but I didn’t encounter anything, and I don’t ever recall running into any particularly notable glitches in the DX version during the several playthroughs of it when I was a kid. If anything, I feel like I still prefer DX a bit more because it has a free camera option you can turn on during stages, which is a huge blessing since the auto camera is so terrible. You can also skip cutscenes in DX which is super convenient. I feel like the glitches and bugs of DX are overblown, it seems like you really gotta go out of your way to experience them. You could argue that since I didn’t play DX from beginning to end that I’m not making a fair comparison, and y’know what, I won’t argue with you. I just really don’t have it in me to play this game from front to back a second time.

It’s clear that there was a lot of passion and ambition that went into Sonic Adventure and I have nothing but respect for that. I feel like this is one of the most experimental games I’ve ever played, especially for its time. It’s just that not all of its ideas pan out very well, and it causes the game to feel bloated and boring at times. Sonic Adventure, no matter which version I play, is always going to be a big source of nostalgia for me, and I’ll definitely treasure those memories I had of playing the game as a kid. But it’s impossible to deny how rough and flawed the game truly is.

How do you take one of the most simple card games of all time and make it a barely functional mess where people are booted from games left and right because Ubisoft can't correctly optimise their games? There were so many hoops I had to jump through just to OPEN the game, and when I went in I found out they removed a lot of custom features from the game, such as profile pictures and cards. And other features that weren't removed were turned into 'DLC' that you had to pay for despite the fact you already payed for the barely functioning game in the first place. You'd be better off keeping your $10 and just using the web browser version of the game or Tabletop Simulator.

the discomfort zone got too comfortable so we made the comfort zone discomfortable. samus: meet samus

where super dove uncritically into the power fantasy that metroid II (the game with a literal Genocide Counter in the UI) unmasked and deflated, this feels like it's turning it inward against you personally. Your body, Your likeness, and Your autonomy hijacked; Your celebratory past tense role as (repeated) casual annihilationist to reckon with and cower from

it operates as something of a Super Negative Image Metroid: an inversion right down to the uncomfortable, choking grip of the direction. all that clammy ADAMsplaining, those sequestered zones, the redline urgency; everything's dialed perfectly into the exact same channel with uniform intent. even the woozy alien psychedelia's been spirited away in favour of clinical, detached interiors and astroturfed xerox biomes with some of the most appropriately sterile Oops No Backlight lighting on the GBA

and no, it obviously doesn't accomplish the same things as its predecessors, but it's not attempting to. this is a game about lack of control, and altering the format would be akin to breaking the spinal column that holds it upright. fusion's big successes (the pacing, brevity, tonal and thematic consonance, and delicate curation of tension and challenge) are the result of its structural changes. being shunted around a tiny sarcophagus isn't a flaw, it's the entire premise. duh

even without all that though it's impossible for me not to love a game with nightmare, the Profaned Baja Blast Suit, AQA's sunken banger, shots like this, and those absolutely psychotic ridley screams

quite possibly the best SA-X heavy fusion since the sultry sounds of steely dan

So they remade Tomb Raider, pretty big responsibility huh.

I'll just start with the cold hard fax. Tomb Raider: Anniversary is an awesome remake and love letter to the Tomb Raider series. This was my first playthrough since after playing the original Tomb Raider, and I can confidently say that the developers achieved their ambitions:

“The old and the new; the familiar and the undiscovered; the mix of the past and the present that is at the core of every Tomb Raider experience was at the core of our effort for this game as well. A game that holds true to it's predecessor yet still stands out as a thrilling adventure all on its own.”

Excuse me for blatantly ripping off that paragraph from a heartfelt note for the fans found in the games extras, but I really think there's no better way to describe the vision than how the developers have done so.

Coming off the back of Legend, Anniversary manages to improve on it doubly from a gameplay perspective. The core level design here is just so damn engaging and honestly quite difficult to put down. It has a good difficulty curve, is very replayable, and going for 100% is a blast as it encourages two playstyles that result in distinctly different experiences.

The first is exploration based à la the search for artifacts and relics. Outside of a small few these are very well hidden and I had plenty of fun searching for them throughout every level, something I couldn't really say personally for most Tomb Raider games. The second is speed based throughout the time trials which I admit I haven't tried yet. If I revisit the game then I'm giving it a go for sure, the level design is too damn good for it to not be incredibly fun and potentially more challenging as well.

The most impressive part is how all of the above was implemented while simultaneously preserving the spirit of the original, and shaking things up to feel like a more contemporary experience. The amount of “I remember this part!” pointing at the screen moments I had while playing was pretty extraordinary for how different these sections actually end up playing (alright MAYBE I didn't point at the screen like a child but I definitely said it out loud to myself a lot!). I like to imagine if I could have been an older, more experienced Tomb Raider fan when this was released, those moments would have hit even harder.

Even though the story has been altered and expanded slightly, adding in some nice extra characterisation, they made the great decision of leaving that expansion to purely the cutscenes. This helped retain some of the original identity. It must have been difficult to resist throwing snarky dialogue in the levels like in Legend, considering just how FUN that was, but I'm glad they didn't in the end. It meant that various atmospheres are still present throughout: isolation, adventure, discovery, tension. Of course though, they aren’t exactly the same feeling. I'm being kind of repetitive so I hope you're sensing the theme I’m getting at here: The same, but different. The same,,, but different…

Anniversary does by no means replace Tomb Raider 1, it stands alongside it as a modern reimagining of, and alternative to, a great gaming classic, that anyone can enjoy. If someone was to only play a single Tomb Raider game, I would definitely point them in the direction of this one.




OH AND AND AND huge shout-out to Croft Manor. They turned her mansion into a freaking metroidvania bro. That's just frickin rad!! Sick. Awesome. Wonderful. Lovely.

Shout out to small rural towns overtaken by an evil or dark presence that corrupts them or brings hellish creatures. Gotta be one of my favorite genders.




Deemon, the incompetent reviewer, started off his write-off with one of his usual jokes, so unfunny that one might wonder if he was doing it on purpose or if he really has such poor comedy taste. He was trying to hide the fact that he really didn’t know where to start; the path to take might seem clear, but like the streets and forest of Bright Falls, it’s more deceiving than it may look at first, like a maze that’s also a downward spiral.

Deemon pondered, searching for a way to salvage the review, desperately trying to find out which step he should take, what words he should use. He sighed. He decided to let the words write themselves, to let out all the thoughts that had formed while the darkness and light of the town surrounded Alan Wake. He surrendered himself to the unknown, one that might be already written after all… Though he knows he had to talk about the music for sure, that selection of bangers had to be celebrated somehow.




Ambition almost killed Alan Wake, in more ways than one. I mean, I may not know much about Remedy Studios, in fact, it is the very first game of theirs I have ever played and beaten, but I do know the story of Bright Falls and how it was initially going to be something else, an open world of sorts, something that didn’t quite work, as it seems. Translating an already crafted open world into a linear style of game is such a monumental task that if I were in that predicament, I’d have considered outright scrapping everything and starting from zero, but that probably wasn’t even a realistic option for the team to begin with.

But that’s not even what I’m specifically referring to. Alan Wake, the game, the package, the copy made out of code and specific sections, is riddled with hiccups and bumps; it’s filled with padding, sections of trees and mist than don’t offer much aside from one or two manuscripts pages and combat sections that can feel overbearing at times, the remnants of its troubled production remain in aspects such as the barren areas and driving sections that don’t have much of a place and are so frustrating to playthrough even if you ignore any cars I just wish they were taken out —tho it’s kind of cute how it also uses the same light mechanic as the rest of the game—,  the encounters with the Taken or the groups of mad crows often lack imagination and enemy variety or don’t jam very well with how the camera works in the case of the camera, and at one point I just kept thinking how much the experience would have benefited if some sections were repurposed in different ways or outright removed.

The imperfections of Alan Wake mostly come from this, factors outside of the game itself, of its story, but they still impact it negatively; I can’t scratch off the feeling of something being lost a bit when all of the boss enemies behave the exact same, the only thing that changes being the creepy lines they spat out and the character model. If the game wasn’t anything more than a series of levels where you shoot at things, then these issues would have rotted its pages…

…luckily, it has a dragon.

Wouldn’t it be funny if I started to praise the actual combat itself after spending two paragraphs criticizing some gameplay sections? Yeah, it would be hilarious! ... ANYWAYyeah I fucking adore the way Al controls. It occupies that same space as Simon from Castlevania, where how slow and imprecise it feels actually benefits the gameplay. You truly get the feeling Alan has never picked a gun in his life in any major capacity; he’s slow, clunky, imprecise, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The tense dance of using light to weaken the Taken and gen emptying the chambers of them, or hell, simply using a flare and trying to activate the closest generator, it’s a super straight-forward system, and I love it. It’s incredibly satisfying to come out of encounters on top, because even if there isn’t much scarcity in resources (even if you start off each chapter with nothing each time), they are still somewhat limited, especially the most powerful weapons, and little things like mashing X to reload faster or the camera panning out to warn you of nearby enemies are things I didn’t know I needed until now.

It would be a far cry to call it a survival horror, but it’s tense; it’s tense to try to manage the purge while a bulldozer is charging full speed at you; it’s tense to try to outspeed a force you cannot do nothing against; and Alan gets progressively more and more tired. I can make the argument that there should be less of it or at least more variety in what it offers enemy-wise, but nothing will take away from the fact that the core itself is some fantastic shit.

Like… there’s something about fighting against waves of enemies on stage while the sickest rock tune ever plays in the background and the lights and flames fill your eyes that I can only call ‘’fucking awesome’’.




Deemon knew that wasn’t just it. He could talk about flaws and shooting Taken all he wanted, but something else lied within the light. He ran into it.

‘’But there’s something else’’, he said




But there’s something else.

A story already written, touched by the darkness. Written already as a part of it before birth, its muse trying to corrupt it. An ending yet to be typed out.

I have never seen a videogame story that trusts so much that the player will be intrigued enough by it to stick with it and engage with it all the way through. The tale Alan Wake, Alice, Barry, Sarah, and the whole town get tangled into is not intriguing; it is fascinating. I have never felt such closure from getting answers to questions I never realized where there in the first place. From being pretty disappointed about how Nightingale and Mott had such a poor presence as antagonists to being in awe of how their actions fell into place after the truth of this unfortunate series of events was revealed. Alan Wake offers a hell of a mystery. Alan Wake solves it.

The pages of the manuscript are as essential as the cinematics and interactions, so many pieces of the puzzle fit, it’s almost like getting spoiled before something happens, which in a way is exactly what’s happening. At first, I felt pretty disappointed that this would be a jarring light vs darkness story mixed with a thriller. Then it ended up being a meta-narrative within its own meta-narrative. The fact they did that without it feeling overcomplicated or screwing it up is ovation worthy.

But I also feel a huge sense of admiration for the micro-stories at play; hearing and talking to the inhabitants of Bright Falls, listening to Maine’s night radio, the echoes of the Taken and stellar ambience sounds ringing through my ears, the fucking incredible Night Springs shorts that had me HOOKED... It was the little things scattered in the trees and buildings and the small talk that gave this spiraling world even more meaning.

It ends with the darkness hungry for more, just like me. I’ve seen people call Alan Wake ‘’the most 6/7 out of ten game I’ve ever played’’, and even though I do not sympathize with that statement at all because it feels reductive in any context, I kind of get what people mean by it. Alan Wake is profoundly flawed, but most of them do not come from the game itself, but rather from the complicated production it had to go through.  In the face of such adversity, I’ve never seen such confidence, such talent, or such a desire to tell a tale like this. Alan Wake isn’t just *a* story, there’s more to be written and read, but at the end of the day, it’s also its own story. And what a story it is.

Maybe this isn’t what the champion of light could have been if the circumstances were different, but the hardships cannot be avoided, and even after going through them, they really sold me on this novel.

Everybody's favorite italian plumber makes his jump to the Super Nintendo, with Super Mario World, and it shows!

While future SNES games would look better and utilize the console's capabilities more efficiently, as a launch title, Mario World looks pretty good. Sprites looks nice, colors are vibrant and background are more detailed than before!
Additionally, Mario World has a different set of environments than last time. Of course, you still have your underground levels, your athletic levels, and so on, but it doesn't exactly follow the "Grass-Desert-Water" level tropes from last time. I appreciate the variety this game has, and it even introduces the Boo Houses, which are nice little puzzles in the form of a stage. Although I'd say that overall, this game does not have a much variety as last time, in spite of the new themes.

In terms of music, this game coined what I like to call the "Super Mario World Syndrome", where most, if not all of the soundtrack is a rendition of the main theme in some ways. It feels like it could get stale, but surprisingly, they managed to pull it off very well!
Each theme is instantly recognizable, and they all sound really good!

In terms of gameplay, it continues a lot of the concepts of Mario 3, but introduces some new stuff as well. The ability to Spin Jump was added, which allows Mario to break certain blocks and even bounce off of certain enemies!
Koopa Shells and other objects can now be thrown up, which allows for new approach in how to defeat enemies or break blocks that are too high to reach.
And of course, this game introduces Yoshi, one of the most iconic Mario characters! He serves as a sort-of power-up, that does not substitute any of Mario's other power-ups. He's more like an add-on, being able to swallow most enemies and can act as an extra jump (I'm so sorry, Yoshi!).

And we have new power-ups too! Many of the ones in Mario 3 did not really return, but we do have the Cape Feather and the P-Balloon.
The P-Balloon is pretty situational, but the Cape Feather is awesome! With good timing, you can make Mario pretty much fly forever with the Cape Feather, and it breaks levels. I love it!

Besides that, the Koopalings return, and they have new patterns to beat, which is nice. And the final boss against Bowser is also nice, utilizing the ability to throw objects up pretty well.

But wait there's more! If you thought the game was done after you've beaten all the main worlds, think again! This time around, we also have special levels in the Star World!
And by beating them, you gain access to even more levels, that are probably the most challenging in the game, and have the most excellent names!
Some of them can be a bit annoying, but I find these a nice little piece of extra content.

Unlike Mario 3, the difficulty in Mario World is actually pretty solid. It can get a bit hard later on, but it never becomes the roller-coaster ride of last time.

Overall, Super Mario World is a great 2D Mario, and I actually struggle to think of many flaws with it, outside of the variety of environments. It's a great time, check it out if you're curious!

As a narrative adventure game, Mémoire 0079 is quite an interesting concept. Login in as a player into a fictional terminal to uncover reports about a distant future and exploring both sides of a war. A narrative focused in on two major players during this fictional sci-fi conflict: Vega Hawthorne of the United Earth and Raya Sokolova of the Ceresian Republic. Both held up by their respective governments as great heroic figures, through propaganda and personal ideologies. It's all a novel idea, pulling your sympathies in multiple directions on whose story you might read first. Well, but here can we get into the biggest issue with the game, the fact that it's infact nothing more than a surface level novelty.

There is no real game to speak of here, just walls of unwieldy text to click through and mountains of hyperlinks that pull your attention away from reading what seems like it could be an engaging story. Just to be stoped dead in your tracks while reading in order to look up words and events you really have no context for and there for might not even care about right away. I know that is the idea and the game's own web page describes itself as "a unique narrative adventure game about exploring a wiki-like interface", but I fell like if you want to fully engage the reader into your world, it helps to have a clearer structure to the events being told. You can still have all the gimmicks of personal logs, redacted sections in government documents and military propaganda. Maybe have some real time email traffic or chats you can respond to popping up on the side as you browse the wiki. Having you engage with the world in a tangible way, and perhaps even being able to make a choice for what side your sympathies align more.  All in all, the most important aspect would be reducing the amounts of hyperlinks. Even just including a separate glossary on the side to pull up would help. In my opinion, it's better to make the broad strokes of your Universe as basic and understandable as possible and then you can bombard your audience with the more complex stuff later. The Universe is still interesting, mind you, there is potential here, but it's the dialogue between characters where the game ultimately shits the bed.

Throughout many of the personal logs and transcripts present here, these two warring factions feel less like opposing cultures and more like drunk discord mods. It's the clearest evidence of to the fact that if you want to make a distinct fictional universe, you need to put in some effort in to establishing a culture and a way of language. Especially if the main point of your story is to contrast the two factions against each other. I don't think Captain Picard encountering the Borg for the first time and trying to contact the Federation about the immediate danger would have had nearly the same impact as it did, if they're back and forth dialogue mainly consisted of “Naaaaah”, “lol”, “lmao” or “can we talk about the fact that they suck shit”. Not quite as impactful I would say.

If I had to pull up one last positive at the end, it probably be the presentation. It's all presented quit nicely through the UI of an old school computer terminal, with atmospheric background tracks. Although I would have liked to have more tracks overall, having some pages be completely silent while the next one suddenly ear blast you with a loud background track was an odd experience. Overall this was a neat project, that needed about 5 more rewrites and revisions. It's free to play in your browser anyway, so there is no harm in checking it out and having a laugh at it atleast. Maybe the next one will be better, always possible.

Do you like hurting other people?

Hotline Miami is a top-down shooter developed by Swedish studio Dennaton Games and published by Digital Revolver. You play as an unnamed protagonist, dubbed "Jacket" by the fandom.

You go from level to level decimating the Russian mob, dabbling in a little bit of the ultra-violence. You can beat, shoot or generally maim your enemies until you are the last man standing. You can punch an enemy, leaving them unconscious for a while until you deliver a killing blow, usually by strangling them or snapping their neck. You can use the weapons enemies drop like bats and knives for an easy and swift kill. There are also guns available from pistols, SMG's to shotguns each with their advantages and disadvantages. Do it fast enough and you get more points which in turn unlocks new weapons to be used in the levels.

Play more of the game and you unlock "masks" which give you various advantages like starting out the level with a weapon, making it so dogs don't attack you on sight etc. The moment-to-moment gameplay is fast, chaotic and cathartic. The game gives you several difficult challenges that you need to overcome with patience, quick thinking and sometimes, a bit of recklessness. Memorization and being on your toes at all times are the keys to your success. Death is around every corner and you will die a lot. Thankfully, restarting is quick and hassle-free.

There are a few flaws with the gameplay and these are not easily avoided. Enemy AI is spotty and inconsistent. Normally, enemies react to gunfire but that's not always the case. Enemies that are in close proximity barely react to your shots and enemies from far away do react. These inconsistencies make it harder to employ your strategy if you want to achieve a high-score. Enemies sometimes get stuck in the environment or even go out of bounds. This makes it impossible for you to kill them thus making it impossible for you to finish the level. This happened during my playthrough on a few occasions. There's a problem that arises when you kill a lot of enemies in the same place. They all drop their weapons in the same place and it becomes difficult to acquire what you want to use

Interspersed between levels are cutscenes, detailing the plot and giving a tiny bit more context to your murder spree. Depending on who you ask, Hotline Miami does a lot with its narrative or nothing at all. On a surface level, it is a story about a psychopathic rage-induced maniac who gets strange phonecalls, talking about mundane things like picking something up or coming to work earlier right before getting in your Delorean-inspired car and racing of to the next mission. It's Drive mixed with Scarface. There are subtle little hints that invoke a much larger plot and those details even make a return in the game's sequel.

The game's central narrative is focused on thing you do the most in this game: enacting violence. The game asks you the question: "Do you like hurting other people". The narrative scatters several trails of breadcrumbs in different directions and asks the player where they want to go. You can try to make sense of the actual story in the game, Jacket's path of a violent psychopathic killer or you can explore it's different themes. There is a lot of room for you as the player to fill in the blanks, to derive some sort of meaningful message out of the entire experience. It's as introspective as it is violent.
To me, the game asks the question why we partake in this form of simulated violence, why we do gruesome things to these pixelated mobsters and warns us not to become too detached from it all.

Everything you do in Hotline Miami is to the beat of a stellar soundtrack from a variety of different artists. From the title screen to the end, every track is a banger and perfectly encapsulates the mood in every scene. Hotline Miami's soundtrack is an anomaly when comparing it to other video games. Instead of one or several composers, the soundtrack features tracks from a lot of different artists like Scattle, M|O|O|N, Sun Araw and Jasper Byrd. Sure, other video games have done this approach too but then we're talking about big AAA sports-titles. This is a game made primarily by two guys. The music is there when it needs to be there. It keeps your blood pumping during action-heavy intense shooting sprees, comes to a screeching halt when you have killed the last man standing and it mellows out before and after missions, giving you a brief respite in your appartment, the pizza parlor or the VHS-store. These are brief moments of calm and serenity before continuing your tour of depravity.

Released in 2012 to critical acclaim, the game was a phenomenon when it released on PC first and consoles later. While being influenced by movies like Drive or Scarface, Hotline Miami would in turn, influence a lot of other artists and game developers.
On paper, Hotline Miami can be a lot of things to a lot of different people. Shocking, exciting, unnecessarily violent. But Hotline Miami is greater than the sum of its parts. For videogames in 2012, this game was lightning in a bottle and twelve years later, the synth-wave fueled magic is still here. It's still one of my favorite games of all time.

It makes complete sense that, out of all of the old Hudson Soft franchises that Konami would bring back into the modern gaming scene, Bomberman would be the one that they would choose, but the iteration of Bomberman they would bring back was a bit of a surprise. They have released a small variety of Bomberman games in the past couple of years, like Amazing Bomberman and whatever this stupid weeb shit is, but for the most part, the series has had its primary focus on the Super Bomberman set of games, starting with Super Bomberman R, and continuing on with other titles like Super Bomberman R2, which was released last year. These games could be considered completely separate entities from the other Super Bomberman games, considering how they look and feel much different from those games, but if that is the case, then why would they even bother putting the “Super” in that title in the first place? Not to mention, it is interesting seeing this kind of take on the character and its world in recent years, which has gotten me interested in this little sub-series, even if most of it has nothing to do with what is currently being made. But anyways, I figured I would start to give the sub-series a try by, of course, starting out with the first game, Super Bomberman.

I haven’t played this particular iteration of Bomberman before, nor any of the other games in this sub-series aside from SBR, but I have seen it in action several times before, primarily due to this video by Sr. Pelo, which, if you haven’t watched it, please do so, cause it is funny shit. But anyway, it did make me wanna try out the game, even though when going into it, I wasn’t expecting much from it. It was probably just gonna be another Bomberman game, just this time on the SNES, and to be fair, it is mostly just that, but there was enough new stuff there, as well as enough charm and character, to where I ended up having a pretty great time with the game as a whole, and I would say it is my favorite Bomberman game that I have played so far.

The story is somewhat complex for this franchise, but not by much, where a robot tournament is being held by the evil Carat Diamond in Diamond City, with the robots in the tournament having the same capabilities that Bomberman have, taken from the Black Bomberman after being kidnapped by them, but soon after, Black Bomberman escapes their clutches and goes to warn the White Bomberman as to what is going on, so it is up to the two of them to team up and take on Carat Diamond and his evil minions to stop their dastardly deeds. It is a simple premise, yet one that is somewhat creative and enjoyable, even though you will most likely not know what the fuck is going on in the game itself if you didn’t try reading up on the plot beforehand.

The graphics are fantastic, having plenty of personality and detail put into all of the enemies, characters, and bosses throughout the stages, and the game’s overall style is much more preferable then what had come before it on the NES, the music is pretty sweet, having plenty of great tracks that I really grew to love while playing through the game, such as this one and this one, which I never got tired of listening to when they popped up in the game, and the gameplay/control is exactly like previous Bomberman games, so you should know almost exactly what to expect if you have played literally any other game in the series before, but compared to past games, it does add in a few new additions that make the game that much more fun addicting to play for me, hence why it is now my favorite title in the series so far.

The game is an isometric maze game, where you take control of whatever color of Bomberman you choose, go through a set of six different worlds, most of them containing their own set of levels that you have to conquer, use your bombs to blow up whatever debris is around you and blow up the many foes that you will encounter, while also making sure to not blow up yourself in the process, gather plenty of power ups that can either increase your massive firepower to heights you never thought possible, or become a detriment to you and cause you grief, because why would you pick up something that has a skull on it, you fucking idiot, and take on several bosses that will provide a bit of challenge if you aren’t quite ready for them. Most of it is your standard Bomberman experience, nothing to really get too impressed by, but it is the added charm and character from the graphics and animations in this game, coupled with the new additions to the series, that made me end up loving it more than I probably ever would have if they weren’t there to begin with.

While this isn’t the first game in the series to introduce them, this game now has boss fights, something that was severely lacking in the original two NES Bomberman games, with the bosses ranging from your generic big bad robots to a nightmare-inducing clown head that I want away from me as soon as possible. These bosses, as a whole, aren’t really all that challenging, and if you know what you are doing, you can take down a lot of them pretty easily, with the exception of the final boss, who does require a little more strategy to take on, and I did struggle quite a bit with him. Nevertheless, these bosses still provided fun enough challenges, and it was a nice change of pace to take these guys on whenever I got to them.

In addition, you can now play through the main game with a friend, who will control Black Bomberman and can do just as many things as the White Bomberman can do. I myself didn’t have the pleasure of playing through the game with a friend, because I am a lonely sack of shit, but the fact that the option is there is still pretty neat, and I imagine that that would be the best way to play through the main mode… even if you can still blow each other up with your bombs. If you are not a fan of doing that in a co-operative setting, then not to fear, because as is tradition with Bomberman, there is a Battle Mode where you and up three other people (with the multitap, of course) can duke it out in an explosive match in the arena to see which one of you truly is the mightiest Bomberman of them all. Naturally, this is definitely where most of the fun that this game offers is gonna be had, and from what I have played, this is definitely the best multiplayer mode that the series has had so far, even if other games after this obviously have managed to surpass this by a long shot.

Of course though, given that this is a Bomberman game that we are talking about, most of it is still the same old shit that you have been doing time and time again, and for those who can’t get into these games, or even for those who have gotten sick of them, there will be nothing in this game that will win you over above the others. Yeah, there are those new features and enhanced modes that I mentioned, but most of these additions are just standard features you can find in any other game, so having them here really doesn’t seem like a selling point, unless you are someone who is a big fan of the series like I am. Also, some parts of the game were somewhat annoying to deal with, such as World 5 of the main mode, which was just a gauntlet against the Robot Bombermen that were made, and let me tell you, fighting them was just… sharp inhale, SO MUCH FUN (kill me). But hey, despite all that, for a game that is over 30 years old at this point in a series full of plenty of other, very similar games, it still manages to be a fun time regardless, and that is all I care about at the end of the day.

Overall, despite not that much change, Super Bomberman managed to take the typical Bomberman formula, give it a new coat of paint, and expand on it enough to where I can say it is a great time, one that is great to play whether through the single-player mode or with some buddies in some versus matches, and one that fans of the series can get a kick out of all the same. I would definitely recommend it for those who are big fans of this series, as well as those who just couldn’t get into what past games like Bomberman 1 or 2 gave them, because while there isn’t much new here, it manages to polish up most of the rough edges and add enough personality to where you could get a kick out of it regardless of what came before. satisfied sigh... you know what, I am glad that I decided to stick to these games, cause each entry just seems to be getting better and better as I keep playing them, and it makes me wanna get to the next game as soon as possible! But, of course, I gotta look at some other stuff first, just to not make things too stale. So, I’ll see you all in a month or so when I inevitably play Super Bomberman 2, and probably forget this game ever existed at all.

Game #559