The Grim Fandango that nobody played. Nobody played it back when it came out and nobody's playing it now, because it's abandonware and not easily accessible for the public at large. Which is a dang shame, because much like GF, Discworld Noir is a detective game steeped in thick atmosphere and boasting a witty script, a colourful cast of characters and an intriguing story that alternates between being broadly comic and deadly serious. It deserves not to be forgotten about and I hope one day it'll receive the same treatment that many of Lucas Arts' classics of the genre have gotten.

By the way, take my advice and avoid the PS1 version at all costs. It is a dreadful port. Get the PC version operational or don't bother at all.

This game is improved immeasurably once you hit mute on the TV. To begin with, the car engine noises are absurdly loud and drown out everything else in the mix, so it didn't take long for me to venture to the audio menu and crank the SFX way down. This only exacerbated things however, as it revealed how piss-poor the soundtrack is. A who's-who of what was considered hot and trending back in 2010 I assume, but man, most of the licensed tracks that litter Hot Pursuit's virtual jukebox are forgettable at best and mind-numbingly rote at worst. Remember Klaxons? I do, but I sure didn't want to be reminded of their existence! So unless you have a particular affinity for music circa 2010, I suggest you spam the mute button on your TV remote every time you boot this baby up. My soundtrack to getting all the gold medals in Hot Pursuit Remastered was a concoction of The MinnMax Podcast episodes, Norm Macdonald compilation vids on Youtube and a whole lot of awesome shoegaze. I'm pretty sure my performance increased once these were playing in the background.












Won't lie though, Bigger Than Us by White Lies is still an absolute banger.

I know the original Resi 4 was considered a game-changer back in the day and caused a storm among anyone with even a passing interest in survival horror, but I wasn't one to heap praise on to it. I did like it, it was a solid 8 outta 10 for me, but its kitchen sink approach to storytelling and tonal whiplash really worked against it for me. It was a game that wanted to be a legit horror experience and a batshit Looney Tunes cartoon at the same time, and that didn't sit right with me. I came for the gameplay, but I sure as hell didn't stay for all the nonsense surrounding it.

This remake goes some way to legitimising Resident Evil 4's core story. While the goofiness remains in places, it manages to be a lot more cohesive in tone. The acting performances across the board are far stronger (with one notable exception), and there are some moments of genuine pathos to be found; a rarity in a franchise that often demands to be taken seriously, but is far easier to laugh at. The adrenaline-pumping second fight against Krauser, the uneasy bromance between Leon and Luis, the mutual respect that Leon and Ashley gradually find for each other - it's all unequivocally improved here. The horror works better, the comedy works better, and the silly absurdities that remain are easier to forgive.

In terms of pure gameplay, it's hard to think of a survival horror that plays better. The original was no slouch in this department, but the remake manages to take everything that worked before and refine it to perfection. Tackling the hordes of enemies that swamp Leon from all directions, the strangely addictive inventory management mini-game that is Leon's suitcase, the shooting gallery that showcases just how fundamentally satisfying the controls are... REmake 4 really is a joy to play from start to finish.

If I have any qualms, it's that Ada and Leon don't have near the same kind of chemistry in this that they had in REmake 2. How much of that is specifically down to the much-maligned acting performance of Ada's new actress I don't know. Maybe she received bad direction during recording. Maybe the devs missed an opportunity to flesh out her character more this time around. I get that Ada Wong is meant to be a morally-dubious ice queen, but all her lines are delivered with a wooden, almost lifeless quality. It's a shame, because the interplay between Leon and Ada was an undeniable highlight of REmake 2, and I would've liked to see that built upon. Also, the merchant never shuts up. He just keeps on prattling on, and by the second half of the game I had enough of hearing him repeat the same lines over and over again.

Those are mere nit-picks though. If REmake 4 doesn't quite represent the high-water mark of the entire franchise (that honour is still bestowed upon REmake 2), then it comes incredibly close at least.

One of my teachers in secondary school was adamant that us pupils never use the word 'boring' to describe something. It was the laziest descriptor to fall back on in his opinion, and he urged us to avoid it completely when it came to any form of creative writing. Well I'm sorry Mr. Hicks, but there's one word that perfectly sums up Alan Wake 2, and that word is boring. Alan Wake 2 is boring. As fuck.

There was a time when I considered Remedy as one of my favourite developers. They could do no wrong. But after the one-two gut punch of Control and Alan Wake 2, I just can't champion them anymore. Alan Wake 2 is a colossal disappointment, down there with the likes of MGS2 and Burnout Paradise, and I don't even know where to begin with my list of complaints.

Well, let's start with the combat. The combat in Alan Wake 2 is fundamentally flawed. There's actually surprisingly little of it compared to the first game, and it's easy to see why. Combat encounters usually go one of two ways - without a hitch or disastrously. Alan and Saga are squishy to the extreme, so it's game over after three hits or so. This wouldn't be an issue if guns didn't take an age to reload, and it's further exacerbated by a fiddly healing system that involves selecting the healing item you want to use from your inventory and then having to wait for your character to finish their healing animation. Enemies don't dawdle, so it's rare to actually be able to top your health mid-fight. As such, I had a huge stock of first aid kits in both my inventory and shoebox (the game's name for an item box) because I just wasn't using them that much. Towards the end of the game as Saga, all available item spaces were filled to the brim. I had no room to put anything so I often had to resort to discarding items. Combat is an unbalanced mess, and in the last few hours I was just running past the shadowy mobs whenever I could for the sake of my own sanity.

And then there's the Mind Palace, the mental safe space where Saga stores all her information relevant to the case. This is meant to serve as the area where the player gets their sleuth on, but anything resembling critical thinking and puzzle solving just isn't there. You either play mix and match with the Case Board, taking items of evidence and guessing the correct category to attach them to, or you watch cutscenes in Profiling, as Saga has internal conversations with other characters and just magically hits upon all the right answers (oh, it turns out she's psychic btw). So you play as a detective, but there's no detective work. The player isn't required to do any actual deduction; just stare at walls of evidence for inordinate amounts of time. It is so mundane, and it completely ruins the pacing of a game that's already very slow anyway. Alan Wake 2 isn't a short game, and boy does it fucking drag because of the Mind Palace.

Prior to release, much was made of Remedy insisting that their sequel would be a full-blown shift to survival horror territory. "Great" I thought. I couldn't have been happier to hear it. But curiously, Alan Wake 2 isn't scary. At all. The topic of what makes a game scary or not is one that fascinates me, and I often ruminate over it on a game-by-game basis. Well I'm still trying to figure out why Alan Wake 2 was so ineffectual in this regard. Was it the lack of enemy variety? The schlocky tone and meta-narrative flying in the face of the serious attempts at horror? The most obnoxious usage of jump scares I've ever encountered in any form of media ever? Probably all three, but mostly the latter! The jump scares are relentless, and they don't strike fear in the heart of this player, but rather annoyance and an eye roll or two. Remedy would do well to analyse games like Silent Hill 1/2/3, Project Zero 1/2, P.T. and Manhunt if they have any future plans to explore the horror genre further, because it's clear they don't have a fucking clue how to generate any sense of fear or dread in their games.

And then there's the story. Oh don't get me started on the story. It's official - Sam Lake has disappeared up his own rectum and his head has gotten so big that he'll never be able to get it out. The man fancies himself as the European Hideo Kojima (although he'll never be that bad... I hope). I've loved Lake's writing in the past - particularly the noir masterpiece that is Max Payne 2 - but here he's surrendered himself to all his worst habits. Excessive monologues, hammy dialogue frequently delivered in unnatural ways, constant meta references and in-jokes, and just a total lack of focus in general. I think the main problem is that, because Epic was footing the bill and Remedy had that Fortnite money to play around with, Sam Lake was given carte blanche, and he took to his unlimited creative power like a Finn to the sauna. There's no normalcy to be found here. Just weird piled upon weird. Everyone talks in riddles, or speaks in cryptic patterns. Nobody gives a straight answer. It was a problem I had in the past with Control, but instead of tempering those tendencies, Sam Lake has decided to emphasis them further.

Should I go on? Saga Anderson is a stoic, dull-as-ditch water co-protagonist who veers dangerously close to the Mary Sue template. In fact, I think her only real character flaw is that she's too dedicated to her job and neglects her family sometimes. There's a section towards the end where she's trapped in her Mind Palace (yay!) because she's plagued by self-doubt and all the bad choices she's made in the past, and in order to escape she has to convince herself via the Case Board that she hasn't done anything wrong at all and shouldn't listen to the malignant force that's trying to warp her mind. It turns out she's pretty flawless after all! Fucking shoot me. After Control and this, I'm convinced that Sam Lake doesn't actually know how to write an engaging female lead.

Oh, and the game doesn't even end conclusively. It's rushed. There's sequel bait. Alan still hasn't succeeded in his main goal that began near the beginning of the first game. The end credits are scrolling and I wonder why I even bothered in the first place. Remedy's clearly more interested in creating its own MCU than actually putting a full stop on Alan's story. Fucking shoot me.

What truly hurts is that I appear to be in the minority with all of this. Alan Wake 2 is universally adored, or something close to that status. A hit with the gaming press, a fixture at award ceremonies, and even on Backloggd itself, the game has an alarmingly high average rating of 4.5. (Nearly) everything was pointing at me loving it. I enjoyed the first game, third-person survival horror is my absolute comfort zone, I like the works of David Lynch, I embrace the abstract in general... I could go on. I genuinely wish I could sing its praises just as much as everyone else. But I have to be true to myself and anyone reading this - the game was a chore to get through from beginning to end.

Deerfest? More like Borefest. Sorry Mr. Hicks.

Absolute rubbish. It's not remotely scary, the themes and execution are heavy-handed as hell, and the writing across the board is juvenile at best. Worst of all are the live-action cutscenes that feature the worst dubbing I've seen since watching a VHS copy of John Woo's Hard Boiled back in the 90s as a wee nipper. Konami's attempt at reviving the Silent Hill IP is going to fall flat on its face if this, Ascension and that trailer for SH2 at the SoP are anything to go by.

Actually no, worst of all is the final chase sequence that elicits raw frustration more than anything resembling fear or panic. You have to run around in a maze avoiding the world's unscariest monster, and collect five random mahoojiggies in order to open the way forward. It is awful.

P.T. this ain't.

Man, this game just perfectly exemplifies how big the divide is between a 4 star score and a 4 ½ star score, because Lies of P is slap bang right in the middle. Too good for the former, but not quite hitting the heady heights that one would attribute to the latter. The quintessential 8.5 outta 10 if you will.

Lies of P takes heavy inspiration from From Software and the Soulslike genre that Miyazaki and co are recognised for creating. I say "inspiration," but really, that's just a polite way of saying that developer Neowiz have copied the Bloodborne formula wholesale, added a pinch of Sekiro, and used their own nonsensical retelling of Pinocchio as the main means of distinguishing their game from its forebearers. In terms of story, this dark fairytale aesthetic is some bobbins that can safely be glossed over from the onset. NPCs have several longwinded (and very one-sided) conversations with the titular 'P', often droning on long after the player's attention has drifted elsewhere. I was quite happy to ignore the narrative stuff for the most part. Where that aesthetic really comes into its own though is in the visuals and locations. Lies of P has a level of polish and fidelity scarcely seen in a From game. There's little of the technical inadequacies like Bloodborne's infamous frame-pacing issue blighting the experience here. The city of Krat is often handsome to behold, from the glossy and Art Deco-esque hub location to the atmospheric, Parisian cityscapes of the initial chapters. Without resorting to hyperbole, Lies of P could pass as a generation ahead of Elden Ring, but maybe that's not the most fair of comparisons. Point being, it looks pretty dang tight for a game of this genre.

But where the game truly shines is, unsurprisingly, in its core gameplay. As established, Lies of P is cribbing from a long-established formula, but we've seen other developers try and fail to capture that From magic before. Neowiz don't fall victim to being a pale imitator however, and have managed to replicate the much-adored Souls experience to a tee. It's a game that feels inherently satisfying to play on all levels. There's a myriad of different mechanics here, and they all feel good to use after sufficient time spent in the trenches, from the Fable Arts to the Legion Arms to the overall movement. The parrying system is less forgiving than the one found in Sekiro, and the player will quickly realise that spamming the block button isn't a fast track to victory, but put in the practice and learn the enemy combos and it becomes a very viable way of removing huge chunks from your opponent's health bar. It's a tough game, but it's fair (mostly), and in true Souls fashion, it's the boss fights are the undisputed highpoint, frequently straddling the line between exhilarating and stress-inducing and delivering that huge dopamine rush that only comes after toppling a big baddie and removing the barrier to progressing onwards.

It's enough to make you quickly forgive the fact that Lies of P barely has an original bone in its entire body. Rather, there's something oddly heart-warming about a studio, with an unproven track record and hailing from a country that's more known for its MMOs than strong single-player experiences, tackling a genre that's new to them and absolutely knocking it out of the park. South Korea's gaming industry appears to be an emerging international market at this particular point in time, and Lies of P gives me hope that Stellar Blade and Little Devil Inside (and hopefully more of their ilk) will deliver on the expectations set by their strong promotional material once they finally see the light of day.












But seriously though, Little Devil Inside is so cancelled.

Essentially a Team ICO game sapped of all the masterful storytelling, intricate world-building and indelible sense of adventure that one would expect from a game directed by Ueda. RiME is incredibly vague in regards to what the story is actually about until the last ten minutes, in which it attempts to deliver an emotional bomb that feels more like a popped zit. It's too little too late, and everything prior to the ending is a meandering borefest with no sense of narrative purpose.

Points for at least trying to replicate the master though.

Even the most ardent puritan would struggle to argue that the original version of Dead Space is superior to this utterly sterling remake. Dead Space (2023) improves on the 2008 original in every conceivable way. Though hardly a major overhaul, it tinkers with the original in many small, often subtle ways. Giving Isaac a (literal) voice and more agency, secondary weapon actions, a slightly reworked story that covers up a major plotline, so on and so forth; it all adds up to a notably improved experience. I honestly kinda shrugged when EA announced this was how they were bringing back the Dead Space franchise, but having played this, I'm now praying EA Motive are put to work on a Dead Space 2 remake next.