It's hard to believe that the Nintendo DS came out almost 20 years ago. To me, it's still a vibrant system with loads of unbounded creativity that influenced how I look at games in a critical sense, and yet it retains its childlike formality with its bizarre dual screens, inundated with many varied games that made inventive uses of the DS's capabilities.

There were 3D games that showcased the DS's graphical capacity; there were 2D games that were more familiar, but had more breathing room to figure out why this game HAD to be a DS game. Of course, the big franchise that no doubt was coming to DS was Super Mario, which is undeniably why I love the DS because I love Mario games. There was Super Mario 64 DS which introduced me to older games in the franchise, Mario Kart DS brought the competitive thrills of go-karting on the go, and New Super Mario Bros. had finally returned Mario back from hell in Super Mario Sunshine.

I love that Mario games paint a picture in its own way, each painting putting a new light on the artist behind the canvas. There's a lot of variety to this franchise with 3D/2D platformers feeling different from each other, the myriad of spin-offs like kart racing and party boards, and even the RPG games which retain the strengths of Mario's goofy world, while having the game play depth to satisfy core RPG audiences. My favorite games are RPGs, and Mario had many that I really enjoyed like Paper Mario and Mario and Luigi.

Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (MLBIS) is THE Mario RPG for the system. There was Partner's in Time before it and that game is also good, but Bowser's Inside Story felt like a true successor to the GBA original - Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. Partner's In Time was more like a GBA game that just went to DS mid-production. MLBIS is fantastic. The characters are charming and the world is as rich as any Mario game should be. Each environment cascades into sub-environments creating this concisely designed world that feels fully explored, yet I don't notice because the game's pacing is brisk with it only taking about 20 hours to beat.

What I love about this game is playing as Bowser. Not only is he full of charisma and witty snark, he's got some great attacks in battle and mobility in the overworld. It's also so absurd that Mario and Luigi are primarily exploring Bowser's body which ties to fun uses of the dual screens on DS, bizarre minigames, and seeing new enemies to keep the game varied. Some great variety comes with the Mega Bowser fights after Mario and Luigi do their minigame schtick, and these always come as such a delight surprise. I know that it could distract from actual RPG gameplay, but I treat these fights as small novelties that play with the DS system in fun ways. One downside is that some minigames haven't aged well. There's one in particular inside Bowser's "Nose Deck" which is just awful because the touch screen isn't responsive to flicks like the iPhone is. Mostly though, these minigames are are fun distraction to make the game more unique and standout among other RPGs. It's at least more fun than generic 50+ hour generic anime RPG bullshit I don't have time to play anyways.

MLBIS is always cracking a smile at the player, it doesn't take itself too seriously. But there's still gravity and stake to the story which I do admire from most Mario RPGs. Fawful, the antagonist, always seems to have the upper-hand causing much needed tension in the story. Fawful is also just a fun character, dispensing weird proverbs alongside his equally badly-dubbed minion named "Midbus". Additionally, I love that Fawful hatches nonsensical schemes that just "somehow" work because the Mario characters all have a crayon stuck up their noses causing major brain damage. Nonetheless, Fawful is providing a reason why the player wants to keep playing as he keeps the plot thickening and the player guessing what will happen to the Mushroom Kingdom next.

The game is complete with RPG tropes like leveling up, armor equipments, stat-boosts and temporary debuffs, etc. It's all standard and simple, yet very effective. The badge mechanic is also a fun way to spice up battles and allows the player to experiment further with particular play styles which is always a great decision to have in RPG games. Something that most Mario RPGs do well is ensuring the player isn't bored during battles; this is probably the most difficult aspect to achieve for any turn-based RPG game. In all Mario RPGs, timing button presses to enhance attacks is the smartest decision they could've made. Mario and Luigi games also bolster the gameplay by allowing the player to observe how enemies will attack such that they can aptly dodge. It keeps the game from staying stale as new enemies will show up and have their own ways of attacking both the Brothers and Bowser. It's almost like a puzzle game in some ways, trying to figure out new enemy attacks; when you solve the puzzle, it's rewarding!

The music is vibrant and jumpy as Mario games are. The music complements the games and worlds they live in. However, there's some tracks that feel a little forgettable compared to other Mario RPGs like Super Mario RPG and Paper Mario. Those games have great ambience that I feel this game doesn't quite achieve. It would've been a great opportunity to craft original songs for traversing through Bowser's body instead of getting small remixes of the overworld song playing in that respective area. These songs could've described more about the game without words. For instance, these songs could've described how Bowser is feeling during certain moments of the game using a strong motif. It could've created unsettling vibes to contrast the cheery music in the overworld. It could've been their own unique identity which I felt this game missed the mark on unfortunately. The music overall is great though; there was just some missed potential for songs inside Bowser's body. I also want to say that the sound effects are all memorable; Mario and Luigi's dialogue amongst each other is the prime example of why I think so, I don't even need to provide other examples to explain my point. The sounds are amazing.

This game is one of my favorite DS games on the system. It's not my favorite Mario RPG, but it's a close 2nd place in my ranking. Just play it. It's erupting with creative mechanics through the convection of the developers, keeping the Mario franchise alive. Every time I remember this game or replay it, it gives me that jovial sensation that most games don't entirely do for me anymore; it's what Mario excels at for my gaming tastes. Mario games are one of the reasons why living life is fun, to expand your horizons and go where no game can quite journey to. Bowser's Inside Story is one of the many Mario games that delves into the unknown and experiments with wackier stories and characters that I love seeing unearthed in the Mario franchise.

But, it's box art background is boring. So I give this game a 1 star. The Mario Movie had a better plot too, and I also love sticking crayons up my nose until it bleeds.

I went on a hike once, but it was nothing like this. My Father and I were trekking through the Cairngorms in the heart of Scotland. If you haven't seen it, it's a beautiful place. Flowing rivers, glistening lochs, bustling forests, the works. Every way you look, you're encircled by these white-capped hills that lap over eachother like great waves on a distant ocean.

Needless to say, when the time finally came for us to begin our hike -- I was excited. Heart pumping, legs twitching, balls tingling, (they do that when I'm excited) I couldn't wait to challenge these mountains, to duel with them with my own hands and feet. So voracious was my climbing appetite, that by the time I topped my first tableland, I realised I'd left my Dad behind. At first, I was struck with concern -- he had a history of heart complications and a poor sense of direction, it wasn't out of the question he'd get lost, or worse -- perish. Then I remembered all the times he'd forgotten my birthday and cheated on his wives and realised I didn't care. I pressed on, determined to reach the highest point of these mountaintops. My feet became warriors, my Limited Edition Ahegao Yeezys their Spartan helms. My balls were still tingling. I crested over every crevice, I powered through every plateau, I marched across every arch. Needless to say, my progress without my deadbeat Father was incredible. "Soon," I thought, "that summit will submit."

And then the snow fell.

And it kept falling.

And it kept falling until all of the Cairngorms were a sheet of paper. I, a small mark only impressed upon it by the dirt of a fingernail. Beginning to panic, I scoured the area for shelter, and found a small cave overlooking a gentle slope. I nestled my way in and sparked a small fire with some twigs and my trusty M1A1 U.S. Military Flamethrower, which I never leave the house without. I checked the time on my phone -- 14:51. "I really hope it stops snowing soon," I thought.

But it didn't.

It snowed and it snowed and it snowed for what felt like eons. I swore I saw entire families of deer cross the mountains from my left, and come back days later from the right, smaller in number. Or maybe I was just hallucinating. I began to ponder my life and all the things I'd seen, suspecting I was coming to the end of it. I reminisced on the times I'd burnt the midnight oil at my desk as though some kind of infernal engine built for the sole purpose of generating laughs from strangers online. I wondered, was it worth it? I began to ruminate on what had caused this endless blizzard. Some kind of freak weather incident no one could have predicted? Or some kind of cosmic karma, cast down from the heavens as if to show me how futile and trivial my pursuits had been all along? As if even my own mind was turning against me, the one thing I could think of before long, the sole remaining thought I had to distract me from my impending freezing demise...Was that of the look a woman gives you when you kiss her. When you hold her close, press your face up against hers, and then look down at her after you're done, foreheads meeting in a holy union, like what swans do. The look she gives you in return, when she looks back up and her eyes meet yours? There is nothing more beautiful in this life. Nothing more tender. It is the most innocent smile, the purest expression of affection. Nothing in the world can emulate that. I should know, I've tried. I've spent countless hours trying to do it in the mirror. I'm doing it right now.

I look at my phone again. 14:56. "I'm finished", I tell myself. "This is it". I close my eyes, ready to drift off into the chilling embrace of death. And then? Precious memories begin flickering through my mind, like pictures in a film reel. Moments of joy from my childhood, moments of sadness from my adolescence, moments of frustration from my adulthood. All of them roll through my mind at a speed I'm surprised I can even comprehend, but I can...And then...Suddenly...I can feel my fingers again...I can feel my nose running again..."Am I dead?" I wonder. "Is this a near-death experience? Do you get the feeling back just before you die or something?"

But no, soon I realise what's really going on.

Finally, the heroin has kicked in.

The 8 mg's of heroin I'd snorted shortly before the snow began falling and shortly after I'd twisted my ankle a little bit trying to do a Michael-Jackson-Smooth-Criminal lean over the edge of a steep mesa had finally taken effect. I'm fucking back baby. Enough "remembering" and all that pussy shit. I pick up my flamethrower, blast this Nightcore version of "Word Up" by Cameo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N5CyOl5dJY) and decide it's time to re-enter society and make this mountain my bitch. Stepping outside, frothing at the mouth like a rabid badger, with a gait not entirely unlike Theresa May's "Dancing Queen" entrance to the 2018 Conservative Party Conference played in 3x speed, I dart around every orifice of the mountain range, the snow that nearly doomed me now a mere triviality. It's as if I don't even know how fast I'm going, nor can I control myself. I have no thoughts of pain or fatigue or cold, all I'm seeing are dazzling lights, rapturous kaleidoscopes firing off before my eyes. At one point, I'm pretty sure I see the entirety of the movie "Get Out" by Jordan Peele, which is a great movie and all -- but as a white guy I feel a bit weird about that, almost like I'm being insensitive somehow. I don't know. I just don't feel like that's the one movie that should be playing in my mind of all people, y'know?

And before I know it, when my senses finally return to me. I'm there. I'm at the summit. My heartbeat seems to have slowed somewhat, my breathing somewhat normal again, save for a heavy pant. The entirety of the majestic Scottish highlands stretches out before. I shake my head in disbelief, "what a rich tapestry...Not everyone gets to appreciate a view like this." And after taking it all in, I know of only one way to celebrate.

Without even touching my own penis, I ejaculate. I ejaculate with the force of 5000 men in what can only be described as a kind of semen spirit bomb. I struggle to find other ways to describe the amount of fluid I dispersed here, so let's just say that if they made cannons that fired PVA glue, it'd be a bit like that. If the local park rangers and hikers thought the snow was thick, "wait until they get a load of this," I smirk. Of course, my logic is flawed. Because I'm far too busy appreciating the view to notice that the sub-zero temperature has frozen my semen solid midway through its descent, and so it's likely to be believed to be typical ice by most casual onlookers, with no one to ever conceive of the incredible cum shower I produced here. Worse still, my penis has frozen solid, and when I reach for it to warm it up, it falls off my body entirely, which I assume is a symptom of hypothermia. I passed out promptly after, and woke up several days later in this chair, writing this review.

All of this is to say, A Short Hike is not a particularly realistic hiking experience. And hey, it doesn't need to be! What it is is a lovely, cosy little game with great visuals, some fun traversal and a very charming personality. A Long Hike next, please!

Pseudoregalia is a game I enjoyed. yet have mixed feelings on. On paper it is the sickest metroidvania I have ever played due to not feeling like you can't get somewhere due to not having X power up. Yes that is present and some areas require very specific power ups, the fact that all power ups are movement options means sometimes you can get to an area "early" due to using said movement mechanics well.

However I feel the game fails in two key areas, firstly I don't know if I can truly say I was immeresed in anything other than the gameplay, a lot of areas feel more like game worlds than fictional worlds that are lived in, although I can see the emptiness being intenional at least in part, even if it did not land well with me.

The second area is the lack of a map. Yes the world is small enough it is fine enough, but due to the not too memorable settings it can be a chore, espically when I knew where I had to return to, but just could not find it and I did end up looking at a map once or twice online as a result. Another issue I have, although very small is that the game just kinda kicks you back to the main menu after finishing the game without even the end or something to make it feel finished.

Played from – to: (2023-12-09 – 2024-01-29) – PC keyboard.
‣ 8/10 – That moment when a furry makes a good game.

‣ Thoughts: Grab your friends and piss yo’ pants would be the slogan of this game. Lethal Company is one of those rare random indie games that just appear and sweep the gaming space. Among Us was probably the last one to do this, where the YouTube/Streaming world all played it at the same time, making content and giving it universal popularity.

In the grand scheme of things, Lethal Company is more complex than I thought it could be. There’s a great variety of enemies, loot to gather, locations to explore and it all always changes. Logically this endless loop can keep you going for hours, but that is not something I feel. To me this feels like a board game you whip out once a year to entertain the guests. Everyone has fun, but then moves on with their life, leaving behind a fun memory.

There is nothing wrong with this game, but I think the fundamental structure of it gets repetitive and bland in 5 to 10 hours. By far the best aspect of Lethal Company is the in-game voice chat. It creates the most immersive atmosphere I felt in multiplayer games since Among Us. That feeling is also enhanced tenfold with walkie-talkies and other fun gadgets. Sadly, the core gameplay is very janky and gets annoying quickly. Fighting monsters to save yourself is a fruitless endeavor and usually leads to boring deaths. I think the game is best at its beginning hours and anything after that is just people clinging onto the hype they felt at the start.

All in all, Lethal Company has shown the gaming space how fun co-op horror games can still be. But I doubt this experience has longevity after the initial runs. Most people will have their honeymoon and move on. The only thing that can keep this going is constant innovative updates. With that said, it is still one of the best multiplayer experiences you can have.

Where do I even begin?
I originally thought visual novels could only make me feel extreme happiness/excitement and sadness. I learnt they can do that as well as many other emotions including not just empathising with a character’s pain, but also feeling it a little. Even scared/worried which isn’t an emotion you get to feel in fiction a lot. This narrative tugged at my heart so much I had to put the controller down for a few minutes every now and then. I knew this game was gonna mess with my emotions, but damn I wasn’t fully ready.

I would be lying if I said I have the same feelings as the protagonist, but aren’t we all souls lost in the sense of normal? I wish well for anyone who is going through difficulty.

As an Irish person it felt so homey and real, even if I live in a much less rural area than an island of the coast of Mayo.

IF FOUND… DOES NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES!!!

Edit: I dragged a friend to my house to watch him play it with the only context I gave him was “Gay culchies” and yeah this story still hits hard and yet at the same time it feels different. I guess just more life experience and experiencing other VNs and other works in general made me understand the characters in a deeper way.