80 reviews liked by Curdalu


wanted something mindless to do on my phone and was fond of infinite runners back in the day. an infinite runner featuring sonic seems like the perfect fit. and it is hard to mess up, but the characters are so big and awkward and the obstacles can get so tight, and when you start to get up there in speed, it's hard to even see what obstacles are coming next. and I get why a degree of unfairness is a cornerstone of the genre, it gets to be a bit too annoying than fun.

This game just isnt fun anymore, Anytime I play this game, I just wish I was playing a different game, The only reason I still even play this game is cause of FOMO

A wee love letter to Resident Evil and House of the Dead that just doesn't quite get there with its cool premise.

It suffers from that classic thing of the idea itself being better than the execution.

Probably the most fun I've had in this series since Ecclesia. It's not perfect, it's a little bit too easy for my liking, but man it's so fun nonetheless and does a ton of things right like the controls and synergy between the characters. Solidifies the DS as THE best set of games in the series. Probably the best soundtrack of the 3 as well.
Also it is cute. Cute game that is cute and makes you go ":)"

This is a meditation training tool. I must destroy the rage inside me each and every time it arises. I will only take 10 min to get back.

Before there was Oblivion with guns, there was Resident Evil 4 without guns. More so than with respect to even its emphasis on crowd control, dynamic difficulty scaling or abundance of contextual carpal tunnel generators, God Hand’s arguably most reminiscent of its spiritual cousin in terms of how forward-thinking it is.

An action game likes convenience. To be able to jump in and fight what you want, when you want with as little fluff as possible’s part of why DMC’s Bloody Palace (or equivalents) became a genre mainstay, why Bayonetta 3’s revamped chapter select system is probably the single most underappreciated feature of 2022 and why the not-infrequent complaint about Nioh having a level select menu is so mystifying. Play enough games from when this family tree was still in its relative infancy and you’ll likely realise how easy it is to take such features for granted, which is why it's so cool that God Hand had something like the Fighting Ring so early on in the genre’s history.

A practice area coupled with all sorts of bespoke combat encounters you can tackle and/or fail any number of times, totally free of consequence, would be a natural fit for any action game, but it’s especially great for God Hand because of how its equipment system works. There’s not just a litany of attacks at your disposal, each with their own distinct properties and niches, but you can also equip any of them in any order and assign them to any button. It’s an unprecedented degree of customisation that might’ve otherwise been overwhelming without an area like this, and which I’m not sure’s been matched before or since. The likes of The Wonderful 101, God of War 3 and DMC5 might let me switch from one weapon to any other in any order, but not even they let me build a moveset out of pimp slaps if I feel like it, purely because I can.

The draw of experimentation that comes with this is hampered a bit by certain rough patches – for example, multi-hit attacks occasionally feel disincentivised in a way that doesn’t seem intentional because of how frequently enemies block and counterattack as the difficulty level increases (especially on Hard where you’re permanently at the highest), while low profile moves which dodge enemies’ high attacks for some reason don’t avoid jumping grabs – but what helps keep the combat malleable despite these is the counterhit system. Interrupt an enemy or boss’ attack with one of your own and they’ll varyingly flinch, be stunned, get juggled or launched, even if none of those properties work on them normally. It creates an engaging sense of back-and-forth and ensures you’re never completely strapped for options no matter how suffocating the situation you find yourself in or which moves you've equipped, especially when taken in tandem with being able to cancel any of Gene’s attacks at any point with one of three different dodges (which, provided your thumbs can remain intact, is also particularly helpful for circumventing the aforementioned issues with multihit attacks).

On that point, God Hand’s handling of defence is something more games could probably stand to learn from. The Great Sensei is a sink or swim moment in this respect and, in my view, the embodiment of what makes it shine, stringing together high attacks, vertical attacks and crowd control in blistering succession that demands you have an iron grip on each of Gene’s dodges and what they’re for like no boss before or after him. He would still be infamously difficult because of all this in a vacuum, but I think part of why he’s such a challenge also stems from how many other games with real-time combat systems treat their (often singular) dodge as a one-size-fits-all invincibility bubble and how tough it can be to break the conditioning that that sort of standardisation instils. Lost Judgment is another 3D beat-‘em-up which plays excellently, but despite being 15 years God Hand’s junior on platforms multitudes more powerful, it can’t help but feel comparatively primitive whenever Yagami “evades” a sweep kick by ducking his head. In contrast, God Hand’s more nuanced combination of side/backward dodges and bobbing & weaving reminded me loosely of Soulcalibur, which on top of its counterhit system makes one wonder how much other action games might benefit from leaning into their common ground with fighting games.

Not all of God Hand’s boss fights or enemies utilise its mechanics equally well, the final boss in particular running the risk of jettisoning the player’s goodwill into the bin, but some scattershot ups and downs are to be expected when your game is so bonkers at every turn. It speaks to how entertaining its stages manage to be, both conceptually and in design, that you end the game with no further mechanics than what you start with and it never once feels stale. There’s an inherent excitement that comes with cramming so many clowns, demons, cowboys, Venetian canals, floating pyramids and other seemingly disparate ideas that you don’t know what to expect next; while some might be surprised at the fact that he considers Resident Evil 4 to be the opposite, it’ll likely shock nobody that Shinji Mikami feels that God Hand is the game with the most amount of himself in it. What results is no doubt chaotic, but more than worth looking past the imperfections of for experiencing what’s essentially his and a bunch of other loveable goofballs’ collective personality transcribed onto a disc, which also happens to be perhaps the only game that feels like an interactive version of an action film’s fight choreography.

If you happen to still have a PS2 lying around, I can attest that the ~80 gamerbux that used copies of this bad boy go for are worth it. You may not be you know who, but you’ll feel like it by the end.

Playing Sniper Elite III was a bit like finding the missing link in human evolution as far as it's own series goes. I had previously played 4 with it's huge open maps, followed by V2 with it's incredibly linear level structure. Sniper Elite III hits somewhere in the middle and feels like the worst game of the 3 for it. It doesn't have the tight design of 2 or the absolute freedom of exploration of 4. It should be in the goldilocks zone but actually ends as the worst of both. The game's setting also doesn't do it huge favors with lighting and level design. It feels like a huge amount of bloom, often limited fov when zooming in on the distance which is pretty awful for a sniper title.

The biggest offence though is the lack of slow motion cams of bullets x-ray smashing Nazi fascists in the face. It pulls a bit of a switcharoo anyway, I play these games co-op with a friend and the first level on the first 3 enemies we get the cam, one of the best parts of the series. We're laughing, excited. Then not another one for the rest of the game learning it's removed in co-op except those first 3 enemies.

Our disappointment was palpable.

All that said the game is still pretty fun overall. planning attacks with a friend in co-op to try and be stealthy as possible, the ability to customize load outs, and the excellent performance. It was a cross gen PS3, PS4 title yet runs incredibly smooth 60fps which their later game Strange Brigade couldn't match at all is an odd one.

All in all this game is fine. it's the start or prototype for what the series will become. It almost never goes on sale however and when you can get Sniper Elite 4 ultimate edition with all DLC in sales for £7-8 all the time? It's not really worth going back to this except for curiosity.

+ Relatively fun to play over a few evenings.
+ Excellent feeling performance on PS5.

- No X-ray kills in co-op.
- Level design and visuals feel a bit meh.
- Can get better games in the series much cheaper.

Beton Brutal's focus on precision platforming results in a tough, tense experience that should very well resemble drinking Dayquil for the flavor to anyone not looking to speedrun it. I disagree with that notion. If you have the patience for it, Beton will reward your curiosity. The timer in the corner and set-dressing of all attempts as runs are both illusions. You can take as long as you want to complete this, and there's no shame in that. There's an enthrallingly visceral joy in finally understanding how the game wants to proceed. Sometimes, it comes to you naturally, and sometimes, the game can work like a bit of a puzzle box focused on climbing. I still haven't reached the top of the tower yet, I keep falling. But I feel content with that because it's been a lot of fun so far.

I totally understand that this won't be to everyone's taste. But I've been having a blast with it.

first time i've experienced vertigo in a videogame

Pros
- Engineering is fun
- Music is great
- Everyone is hot

Cons
- The Depths feel unfinished
- Too much grindy bullshit
- Arrow fusion and Sage abilities are a bitch to use

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