i had a great time but the one time i've done an IQ test i started arguing with my friend over the first question

"where's the cheese" they say, haha fantastic

Newgrounds is so fucking edgy!!!! Fancy Pants' plot just basically says "Newgrounds was too hardcore for him"

1998

Quake's equivalent to the PS1 port of Doom. Not massively different to the PC version but has a different atmosphere due to the new soundtrack (composed by Aubrey Hodges who did the Doom PS1 ost!) and lighting. I don't think it quite has the same novelty of Doom PS1 as the original Quake was already pretty creepy and atmospheric and the ost doesn't feel too different here, aside from the more upbeat, slightly dorky tracks like the Main Menu and Level Complete. Other than those it's fairly similar atmospheric stuff but I think reuses instruments more often and feels a bit more samey. This does add that weird N64 Beetlejuice ass lighting though which I like :)

Playing Quake on a N64 with a little CRT is probably kind of cool so I'm not sure playing this through the remaster really conveys the port's charms best (especially considering the CRT filter is either way too harsh or turned off) but cool.

Will also add that this doesn't take you back to the hub between episodes and just flings you straight into the next one with all the weapons still in your inventory which I think kind of fucks with the pacing. (Edit: This turns out to be a glitch in the remaster, the actual version resets your weapons but still doesn't have a hub)

They should've put "Aubrey Hodges" on the machine gun ammo in this version

Just using a D-Pad makes your nail feels crazy wtf

A little disconnected, the plot feels like a lot of different parts that never quite come together cohesively. Have felt this with other Yakuza games but it feels like more of a thing here as it juggles so much. Still really liked it though! It may be in parts but those parts are really good and it's probably got some of my favourite characters in video games. The game-ification of mundane stuff like getting a job is really fun and fits the series really well, along with making it feel approachable despite all the mad Yakuza stuff.

Speaking of which I never see people mention this as a reboot even though it sort of is? Partially because it isn't really advertised as one and is continuing the series after only a few years but also because it plays into the themes and tone people expect of the games while giving it a completely new identity! When this series was being noticed more I remember the consistent selling point of "oho, its got these wacky side quests but is a real drama!" And I think playing into a goofy style that goes alongside the drama accentuates this, without dumbing it down. It also downplays the focus on riches of the older games, those are actively designed around how you're supposed to be tough and wealthy in the big city which isn't as relatable or cool with everyone being poor and hating rich people. So here you start out with nothing, search for money under vending machines you PEASANT

I need to stop writing these while doing stuff, I was waiting for a bus and now it's arrived but idk if any of this makes sense aaaaaaa

If The Last Of Us is "the Citizen Kane of games" or whatever then No Return is a Citizen Kane funny moments compilation. Very good

Robocop is humourous in his design and personality, however has an underlying tragedy in their struggles. Much like Garfield

The humans when an entire village is slaughtered: oopsie! Those RDA sure are bad guys 🙄🤣 Sorry for being human!

The Na'vi when one horse is killed: God has left us, we must take over the role of the grim reaper.

Fun though! Movie tie-in like Mad Max or Terminator: Resistance where it is just using a game formula seen before (in this case Far Cry) and puts it in the context of a film people like. Easy to complain about with stuff like the similarities to Far Cry, underwhelming progression systems and (completely ignorable) microtransactions, but contains an amazing version of Pandora to explore and weaves the film's themes into its systems nicely. It also feels like a real video game rather than just a time sink! I played some of Assassin's Creed: Odyssey recently and was bothered by both how long it is and that the game felt so desperate for you to glide through it without issue. This is a pretty reasonable length of like 20-40 hours though and felt like I had to engage with its mechanics and how it was designed, rather than it just molding itself into a Frankenstein of "stuff people like".

Not a must-play if you didn't see the Na'vi running on trees when you were 7 and think "ooh I wanna do that", but I liked it

so accurate to it's N64 inspirations that I feel like I need to rate it with a screaming face rather than a number and call the playstation "gay"

This game has all this mad stuff like System Of A Down and obviously Bruce Willis but they just ignore it to make a cool arcade shooter where the final boss is the president. Bruce Willis is mostly memorable for the worst one liners you've heard and going really quiet during the incomprehensible cutscenes, while any licenced music weirdly has a spot in the level? Like as if it's coming from a specific radio placed in the level, the System Of A Down song comes blasting in as you're mowing down enemies and everything's blowing up but the song fades away after a few seconds and you're back to the game's music?

but yeah cool shit. gothy, bad cgi cutscenes that make no sense and a genuinely well constructed twin-stick shooter campaign that leans towards its hollywood actor with set pieces and a funky camera. has aged well in the way that stuff like the Resident Evil films have aged well where it's kind of dumb but very direct in it's aesthetic and intention.

I left the game on as I wrote this and the demo came on but it's just a view of a castle and someone screaming? not really a scary scream though just like "ah!"

(not rating this because i didn’t finish it, how i feel is so heavily influenced by dumb parts of my brain and i feel like i’ve not explained how i feel very well lmao)

This is the third time I’ve picked this up, had fun and then thought “I can’t do it”. The world is so vast and incredible, it all feels cool to explore and just keeps going, making you feel tiny as you look over entire populated, structured towns and realise they take up like 1% of the map. The story seems a bit silly but its characters are fun without just being consistently goofy and careless so that pulled me along nicely.

It’s a really good open world RPG, I just felt like I was being tricked whenever I played it? Every element of its gameplay can be traced back to another popular game without quite capturing the same feeling because it’s used in an unrelated context, which along with stuff like your horse being able to just automatically follow the road for you directly to wherever you’re going, makes it feel very designed, as if the game is more concerned with making sure you’re comfortable instead of immersing you into a world. I ended up thinking about how much goofy fun I had with the similar botw and totk because of their confidence. Those have elements that people don’t like such as the rain and weapon durability but they both at least cause drama. Memorable, fun moments come from the game pushing against you which it never feels like Odyssey does as, even on hard, I was able to easily run in somewhere, stab people, run away and repeat. I looked forward to new gear and levelling up because it would make it slightly easier to stab people and run away, never because something seemed cool and fun to experiment with. The way the game presents itself adds to this feeling too. Not the presentation itself, it looks fine and everything but just the weird stuff it throws in your face? The in-game store, daily quests and ads for other games and DLC give it this cheapness, along with the Assassin’s Creed iconography and naming. I don’t care that the game’s not about Assassins and plays nothing like the older games but carrying along its identity in certain places and nowhere else gives it this kind of jumbled aesthetic and draws comparison to games that do certain things better because they’re doing something completely different.

None of this is awful, in fact I’d happily go through it if the game was like 30 hours long. Its gameplay loop feels scientifically designed to be satisfying, but it is satisfying! And there’s other elements that I find cool enough to enjoy this as dumb popcorn entertainment but it’s apparently like 80-120 hours long which is way too much popcorn. Dedicating that much time to something that doesn’t do much more than “feel good” feels bad and so I can’t help but feel guilty for playing it whenever I do. At the same time though that vastness is part of why I enjoy the game, I just wish it was used in a different game or didn’t require you to engage with all of it.

It’s weird because these aren’t bad aspects really? “The game has a lot of content” and “its gameplay loop keeps you engaged” aren’t generally complaints but it’s just how undisguised it feels along with it being obvious that Ubisoft’s intentions with this were to make a live service above anything interesting. It’s engaging so that you keep playing, not so that you have a good time.

I knew a couple guys in high school who would play this on their phones and then when they got home they'd play it on their Xbox's. One year one of them got a garden shed to smoke weed in as a christmas gift.

i found you larry haha get fucked

Max being sad in the comics: A broken man who's life is a hell he can't wake up from

Max being sad in engine: dog who vomitted on the carpet