DustyVita
2022
This is the most "pro wrestling" story I've ever played in a racing game and making that connection was what kept me interested throughout. Seriously if you know anything about how a wrestling storyline plays out you'll see it hit all the hallmarks.
2013
Handling is pretty loose but whipping these cars around all the bends got pretty fun after I got the hang of it. It's only too bad there's so little locales to race in I was bored of it well before it ended.
2022
As I'm writing this, it's about a month out from the next WWE game and the first back on the yearly schedule after a brief hiatus following 2K20. I've noticed over the past couple weeks I've been feeling more antsy and excited for 2K23 than I think I expected to be and I think it's because I'm just now realizing how much this game did that, put all together, is like a melting pot of all my favorite things from previous WWE games. It's like it was built for me specifically.
This is like a perfect blend of WWE All Stars and a grounded reality in the ring. Its got the combos like All Stars, which means if you let it you can have matches devolve into back-and-forth fast-paced brawl at any point but it also has a grapple system reminiscent of some of the older games where all the moves are performed from a lockup so you can slow the pace at your leisure. In a similar feeling from All Stars as well the combos are very solid at reflecting the kind of wrestler you're playing as. A technical guy may have a combo end in a move targeting a specific body part or end in a submission, a smaller high flyer wrestler will be more flashy in their combos like with quick kicks and a fast ending, while a powerhouse will just swing their arms around and then throw you ten feet the opposite way. This probably sounds like pretty basic stuff for a wrestling game but it wasn't until this game specifically that I thought about how each individual wrestler didn't feel as intrinsically expressive in previous games. Now I finish a session thinking about which wrestlers in the game I haven't played with much recently and get a little sad since it feels like a different experience I'm missing out on. Signature moves and finishers are earned independently of each other like All Stars meaning the matches feel less like you're just working through the same pattern again and again.
Showcase mode is something that gets a lot of negative feedback because people want older modes from previous games to return in its place. It would be cool to see some of those have a comeback maybe, but I'll never be sad to see Showcase return. Reliving some of these older moments is usually fun and they come with additions to the rosters that might have never appeared otherwise. MyRise, even though you can only play as your own created wrestler carries with it the absolutely bonkers, wrestlecrap energy of my beloved Road to Wrestlemania mode from Smackdown vs. Raw. The only real complaints I have are towards MyFaction and Universe Mode, MyFaction because it's completely pointless and only exists to be Ultimate Team equivalent that has plagued modern sports games though I wonder if it can ever become that whale hunter those games live on since it could never replicate the reasons people play wrestling games, and Universe Mode is just a technical disaster filled with glitches and crashes that I hope gets a full facelift soon.
Even with the complaints though I can't deny the simple fact that for the first time since WWE All Stars when I end a session of WWE 2K22 I never feel like I've played enough matches for the day and would rather do something else now. Back on the yearly schedule means this kind of turnaround won't happen again for a long time but I'm so satisfied with this new base that I don't feel like I'll need that reset for a long time. I'm just so excited to be this excited again!
This is like a perfect blend of WWE All Stars and a grounded reality in the ring. Its got the combos like All Stars, which means if you let it you can have matches devolve into back-and-forth fast-paced brawl at any point but it also has a grapple system reminiscent of some of the older games where all the moves are performed from a lockup so you can slow the pace at your leisure. In a similar feeling from All Stars as well the combos are very solid at reflecting the kind of wrestler you're playing as. A technical guy may have a combo end in a move targeting a specific body part or end in a submission, a smaller high flyer wrestler will be more flashy in their combos like with quick kicks and a fast ending, while a powerhouse will just swing their arms around and then throw you ten feet the opposite way. This probably sounds like pretty basic stuff for a wrestling game but it wasn't until this game specifically that I thought about how each individual wrestler didn't feel as intrinsically expressive in previous games. Now I finish a session thinking about which wrestlers in the game I haven't played with much recently and get a little sad since it feels like a different experience I'm missing out on. Signature moves and finishers are earned independently of each other like All Stars meaning the matches feel less like you're just working through the same pattern again and again.
Showcase mode is something that gets a lot of negative feedback because people want older modes from previous games to return in its place. It would be cool to see some of those have a comeback maybe, but I'll never be sad to see Showcase return. Reliving some of these older moments is usually fun and they come with additions to the rosters that might have never appeared otherwise. MyRise, even though you can only play as your own created wrestler carries with it the absolutely bonkers, wrestlecrap energy of my beloved Road to Wrestlemania mode from Smackdown vs. Raw. The only real complaints I have are towards MyFaction and Universe Mode, MyFaction because it's completely pointless and only exists to be Ultimate Team equivalent that has plagued modern sports games though I wonder if it can ever become that whale hunter those games live on since it could never replicate the reasons people play wrestling games, and Universe Mode is just a technical disaster filled with glitches and crashes that I hope gets a full facelift soon.
Even with the complaints though I can't deny the simple fact that for the first time since WWE All Stars when I end a session of WWE 2K22 I never feel like I've played enough matches for the day and would rather do something else now. Back on the yearly schedule means this kind of turnaround won't happen again for a long time but I'm so satisfied with this new base that I don't feel like I'll need that reset for a long time. I'm just so excited to be this excited again!
I can't believe it...I met a musou I didn't like. I need to sit down.
This review contains spoilers
Smackdown vs Raw 2009 introduced a mode called Road to Wrestlemania (RTWM) which was a more direct version of what was known as Season mode in many prior titles and 24/7 mode in SVR 2008. Where those games allowed a wide choice of most of the roster, there was hardly a reason to play it more than once as each character would be playing through the same storylines on each playthrough. SVR 09 tried to give each run a more personal taste, by slashing the choices down to 5 storylines 12 weeks in length each, specifically tailored to the featured characters. I have decided to embark on a fruitless task of individually scoring each individual story to encourage me to go through them again for maybe the 22nd time.
Triple H: My man Haitch has his RTWM revolve around one singular decision that splits the path in two ways, reform the defining team of the Attitude Era D-Generation X or the most powerful force of the Ruthless Aggression era by reuniting Evolution? Too bad the path there is clogged with 6 WEEKS of matches against Mr. Kennedy, Edge, or Mr. Kennedy and Edge only broken up by one match vs Randy Orton and one filler match vs Shelton Benjamin. Like seriously, if I ever see Mr. Kennedy again it might be too soon. After a couple tag matches with Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton you make the decision of which to reunite with in a very hands-on manner as the guest referee of a title match between the two. I should mention though you’ve hit about the 10 week mark now so you spend nearly no time with your chosen team. Pick DX and you earn a comical few scenes as in a mock press conference Triple H is pegged as Shawn’s first title defense at Wrestlemania, they goof, they gaff, they slime Evolution, then beat him at the PPV, game over. Side with Randy and perhaps to your dismay you never get the full Evolution experience. One week Ric Flair isn’t there, the next Batista is MIA, H weasels his way into the WM title rematch between Randy and Shawn then you win it. The choice is compelling and the DX reunion is mildly amusing, but you only really have a couple weeks on your chosen path, hardly bearing any consequences for your decision. 3/10
CM Punk: The only RTWM that ECW ever got, Punk’s story starts with an Extreme Rules match against ECW champion Tommy Dreamer who gets a little boo-boo on his ribs and gets stretchered out after you beat him for the title. After seeing this, ECW legend and commentator Tazz decides Extreme Rules matches are da pits brudda, and goes on a crusade against the Extreme in Extreme Championship Wrestling with Stephanie McMahon who strips Punk of his newly won ECW championship and hold it up in a tournament, a tournament that Tommy Dreamer encourages you to get intentionally disqualified from as he still believes in ECW’s hardcore spirit and doesn’t blame Punk for his injury. Steph and Tazz keep you busy with a match at No Way Out against Big Daddy V so you can’t get involved in the tournament final where Elijah Burke is crowned champion. Before ECW can even go on the air two nights later Punk has already stolen the title belt and holds it up in a Last Man Standing match but before Punk can win Tazz runs in from the announcer’s desk uses his patented Tazzmission to Tazz-choke out Punk leaving him down for the Tazz-10-count and Tazz-award the Tazzbelt to Burke. After earning another title shot and winning the belt the next week Burke and Tazz challenge Punk and Tommy Dreamer to a match at Wrestlemania and Steph gives you the choice of Extreme Rules, Steel Cage, or a Table match. After winning that Punk follows up with an immediate offer for a title match with Dreamer in the same stip you chose for the tag match, win that, confetti rains, game over. Punk’s RTWM is a straight line unlike Triple H with no branching choice but ultimately is more satisfying, especially since Tazz is both on commentary and involved in the story so even on commentary Tazz is trying to push his motivations as much as he can. It also gives you the opportunity to dive a little more into the ECW side of the game with flaming tables and other “extreme” features. 6/10
The Undertaker: This one, one of two Smackdown representing RTWMs starts with what seems like a throwaway match against Santino Marella, until the next week when Finlay teases Santino about his ass whooping leading to Santino betting Finlay can’t last as long as he did against Taker, which the game challenges you to prove him right. It can prove difficult if you don’t know it’s coming given the length of Taker’s special moves and the Tombstone Piledriver’s notorious penchant for rope breaks in video games, but succeed and you unlock Hornswoggle as a goddamn summon in exhibition modes. I haven’t mentioned unlockables so far, but that needed special attention. Moving on, either beating Santino and Finlay is so impressive you immediately get title matches, or maybe because you’re just The Undertaker but next week you get a match with The Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Championship, which Santino runs in on for the DQ, shortly followed by Finlay who do no damage to Taker until Santino realizes Taker has a weak spot between the legs just like any other man, leaving The Undertaker laid out at the end of the show. Next Smackdown Santino and Finlay proclaim themselves “The Nu School” and promise “THE MAN” is coming to end Taker’s Wrestlemania undefeated streak. Undertaker does his lights off, lights on teleportation schtick only to be met with a spear from Edge, but they make clear Edge is not “THE MAN”. At the Royal Rumble, Nu School challenges Taker to a match and emerge with The Urn, which in WWE lore has varied between Undertaker’s arcane focus and kryptonite, this time playing the role of kryptonite. Taker is laid out again and the Nu School escape. They reveal on Smackdown The Urn was a gift from “THE MAN” and they have another one too, Kane is under their control due to The Urn. Santino introduces him as “a man you beat three times at Wrestlemania", like that’s supposed to be a threat on The Undertaker’s Road to Wrestlemania? No worries, drop him on his head twice and everything is a-okay (great message). The identity of “THE MAN” is finally revealed at No Way Out as The Boogeyman, which rules, and pokes Kane with his magic red smoke emitting stick which seals Kane’s consciousness or something rad like that probably. Undertaker is given the opportunity to Earn The Urn back in a ladder match against your choice of Santino or Finlay (Finlay is a badass and I’m scared of him so the part here will be played by Santino). Upon victory Undertaker just gives it back, but then the lights go out and it shoots a ray of light into Santino’s face! The effects of The Urn Blast is revealed next week as he turns into a zombie live on The CW! Undertaker uses spooky powers to allow Rey Mysterio to beat his zombified minion then releases him from his captivity only to meet the same fate as Kane by the hands of The Boogeyman. In yet another match with the surviving member of Nu School Boogeyman manages to get his stick on Taker, with no effect, then it’s off to Wrestlemania. Quick detour to a cutscene of Taker kneeling in the ring shooting electricity (OK?), then defend the Wrestlemania undefeated streak of The Undertaker in Hell in a Cell. Boogeyman is chokeslammed into a casket which is struck by a bolt of lightning and disappears presumably sending “THE MAN” straight to hell or Arkansas or somewhere reasonably as terrible. You can probably tell I’ve written much more of the week-to-week happenings than I did for the other two above, for good reason as it’s much more eventful than those others. Besides the dull stretch between the Royal Rumble and No Way Out where truly nothing of consequence happens there was always something to mention. Even delivered through 9 of 12 matches involving Finlay or Santino in some form seeing a huge missed opportunity in the Boogeyman-Undertaker feud that never was is good amount of fun to see play out. 9/10
John Cena: The second of three on the Monday Night Raw side, Cena kicks off with a promo revealing the annual Tribute to the Troops show is next week, and claims to have met good friends the year before, specifically dedicating his next match to Tony. Tony is an original character and if I’m not mistaken is the only time one ever appeared in Road to Wrestlemania, barring the routes in the three games after this built around a character you create yourself. Cena makes quick work of MVP at the show, then Tony makes his first appearance to celebrate with him. On Raw, MVP admits his defeat but claims he had sand in his eye, which means the match should’ve been stopped and takes umbrage with the soldiers in attendance treating Cena as a hero. MVP declares he is officially defecting from the United States because he’s “tired of being treated like less than the best”. After a win over William Regal, JR declares on commentary that as long as Cena remains a US citizen, we’ll be fine. Cena has a match with Umaga at the Royal Rumble, it’s unclear why neither of these two would enter the rumble instead and potentially earn a title shot but, in any case, Regal seems to be hanging around with Umaga or as Regal pronounces it, “Youmainga”. Regal also accompanies Umaga to the Royal Rumble, the reason, as he tells Cena through voicemail, being somebody needs to keep the Samoan Bulldozer under control. MVP eventually interrupts the match and he, Regal, and Umaga engage in a three-on-one beatdown to Cena. Now it’s finally time to officially meet my favorite fictional faction in WWE video games as William Regal plants a flag in the ring on Raw and claims it in the name of Better-Than-U-Topia as Secretary of Foreign Affairs alongside Secretary of Defense Umaga and their President, MVP. Hell. Yeah. But Cena doesn’t have time to even lick his wounds from the Rumble because he’s scheduled for a match with none other than GOD DAMN IT MR. KENNEDY WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE. In a nice touch though the Better-Than-U-Topia flag remains attached to the ringpost. It’s the little things. It’s a quick week next as Cena runs in way too late to save Jeff Hardy from a BTUT beatdown but actually fends all three of them off. In what initially looks to just be a filler week with a tag match against BTUT has the wrinkle of Cena’s friend Tony hobbled and using a crutch as some unspecified injury has allowed him to come home from the military. Cena invites him to chill in his locker room so they can chat when the job’s done, but in the span of maybe 40 seconds the match ends (you hear the bell on the TV Tony is watching), MVP beats Tony up, books it full sprint out of the room, and just after Cena has already made it back to his locker room. Maybe you can’t see Cena cause he’s so damn fast. Cena has a Gauntlet match (where each beaten opponent is immediately replaced by a new one until there’s none left) against BTUT at No Way Out. Prior, Regal visits Cena to inform him of extra concessions for Cena since the match is taking place in BTUT, as you remember they planted a flag and claimed the ring. #1: Cena needs a 5-count to win by pinfall. #2: Cena can’t use rope breaks to get out of a pin. #3: Only Cena can be disqualified for a 10-count when out of the ring. Oh, and also MVP blindsides him with a beauty of a spear forcing Cena to go in already injured. This would have been better served for the finale though since Cena wins! BTUT is left with no ground left to stand on after that, even with the post-match assault they lay down afterwards. They lost with all those advantages and there’s still 27 days left before Wrestlemania so it’s all filler from here. Spend a few weeks engaging in simple storyless assaults against a BTUT member, and in case it wasn’t clear we’re just wasting time at this point the Raw before Wrestlemania I HAVE TO FIGHT MR KENNEDY AGAIN GET OUT OF HERE this is just a one off match for nothing it could be anyone on the whole roster just do Carlito or Chavo Guerrero please! And Wrestlemania is just a 15-minute ironman match with MVP, I still did it for you but all that really happens is Tony shows up at the end and hits MVP with a terrible punch. Going into this I was excited but the memories were better. I’d have liked to see MVP, Regal, and Umaga interact more with each other and the lack of that makes me wish they did this group on TV instead where they’d get the time to do so. After No Way Out they wring out 4 more weeks when there’s just nothing left in it, but between the boring start and end is a solid chuck of some pretty entertaining stuff at least. I hate the USA, BTUT forever. 7/10
Chris Jericho: Our beloved Lionheart Y2J’s story begins fairly by the numbers with a simple match meant to earn your way into a 4-man match for a shot at the championship, but after winning somebody steals Jericho’s gimmick and types “WHO WILL SAVE THE SAVIOR? TERMINATE JERICHO” in hacker text on the big screen. Now Jericho is on a mission to find who put up that text and for reasons beyond my understanding his first suspect is our old friend from Taker’s RTWM Finlay, but apparently he had been milling around in the production area at the time…Jericho puts him in his submission move the Walls of Jericho until he agrees to talk, revealing he was given an envelope full of money to play a DVD after Jericho’s match. Y2J has more business to attend to though as he still has the 4-way he qualified for, he just has to beat Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and mR. KENNEDY C’MON this roster isn't that small just pick anybody else please! Our last protagonist John Cena is living in a better timeline now, as the reigning WWE champion and Jericho earns a match with him at the Royal Rumble. After a tune-up match with Michaels, the jumbo tron lights up again with a new message, this time reading “y2j_terminated@royal.rumble VIRUS DEPLOYING”. As promised, Jericho’s match at the Rumble is interrupted by a masked man with a pipe, beating him down and leaving as another message is displayed, “end_savior.exe championship_dreams>>>>shutdown”. In a mostly filler week, Jericho is hurt but promises to find his assailant, despite assurances from Shane McMahon WWE is commencing an investigation. Next week we’re presented with a suspect list and given our choice between six people to question! I already know my decision of course, my cockroach of a mortal enemy Mr. Kennedy. I know he’s out to get me so I’m not gonna let him waste anymore of my time. Jericho goes straight to his locker room to confront him, but Kennedy is actually just making his way there. Jericho finds the same mask his attacker was wearing in Kennedy’s bag to which he replies “I’m from Green Bay genius, it gets cold there” hurr hurr hurr I bet it does you snake. Jericho teams with Michaels against Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton so I wipe the floor with that mouthy tool and mark him a prime suspect. Next I target Randy Orton, because anybody who associates with Mr. Kennedy is my Mr. Enemy. Jericho’s angle is the masked man wore camo pants and Orton has a military past, kinda weak, I was more suspicious of the vile smugness of him after he relays that Shane cleared him of any wrongdoing. Either way Shane claims he found someone with no alibi, and sends Jericho to the ring to face him, but Umaga is a good twice as big as our perp so obviously Shane has it out for us too. Y2J marks Orton a prime suspect on the grounds of “he had no good answers” and we move to a new week. I decide Shane seems to be against me too for some reason and choose him as the next interrogation target. He claims he’s just here to help and wasn’t even at the Royal Rumble. Jericho crosses him off the list, so I decide maybe Finlay didn’t give me the whole story and mark him next. Finlay, fresh off a win, is accosted by Jericho backstage and gives him one more good talking to. He’s very forthright with Chris saying he’s in absolutely no hurry to get on Jericho’s bad side again and has been avoiding him as much as possible. Jericho decides he believes him since Finlay is a liar, but not a good one. Beating Jeff Hardy seemed to trigger the messages, so I go to see what he says for himself. Hardy says he was backstage during Jericho’s match and even rooting for him so he couldn’t have done it. Shane just happens to stroll by and puts the two of them against each other in a match. The masked man actually appears during the match, clearly proving it’s not Hardy, and Jericho loses him in a chase backstage. I never got the chance to question Shawn, but it doesn’t matter as the final choice of who to accuse is between Orton and Kennedy. I have no reason to hesitate, Mr. Kennedy is my greatest rival and I know he wants to get rid of me just as much as I want to spray that insect with pesticide. Jericho and Kennedy brawl but a new message appears reading “IVALID SELECTION PASSWORD INCORRECT” and a masked man hits Jericho from behind with another pipe. It must be a mercenary Kennedy hired or something! Jericho is told to take the night off, but he’s peeved that Orton is getting a title shot when Jericho himself has never gotten a rematch after the masked man ruined his shot at Royal Rumble so he runs in to get the match thrown out by DQ. Cena’s a fighting champion though so he’s ticked off at the run-in and just the shenanigans involving masked men in general so he calls out Jericho next week to tell him off about it. Shane sets up a match between them that night which a masked man runs in on again. Suddenly a second masked man joins the fight but Cena helps send them both packing. The next week a lone masked man stands in the ring to call out Y2J, only for Chris to be blindsided by the second masked man, who dramatically pause to finally remove their masks revealing Randy Orton and that BLOND RAT MR. KENNEDY I almost bought that he was innocent. Cena makes the save again and Jericho teams up with him for some payback against Orton and Kennedy. A WWE Championship 4-way match is set for Wrestlemania and I get one more chance to have Kennedy all to myself and really put the boots to that slimy loudmouth before Randy and Cena also get involved and it turns into a big brawl. Jericho gets one particularly satisfying shot at Kennedy by donning the same masked man disguise and suplexing Kennedy on the floor backstage before winning big in the Main Event to close the story. I forgot much more of this story than I thought I did so I was pretty engaged overall. It’s no LA Noire but the mystery is interesting and the short few weeks of conducting your own investigation is fun way of giving Jericho’s path a small bit of non-linearity even if there’s no real consequences for going about it any certain way. The match variety is nice too, it never feels like you’re doing the same match you just did the show before. Jericho has also gotten attention for coming off pretty genuine in his voiceover in these story-based modes so it has that going for it as well. 9/10
Batista/Rey Mysterio: This one is very unique for this game in that you have the option to play this story with a friend, each of you taking control of Batista or Rey for the whole duration. I have to write this one differently though because there isn’t some wacky twist to the story with some all-time silly wrestlecrap to have fun recapping but instead this particular story can diverge in just too many ways to cover, it would be even longer than the other sections I’ve already written. See typically in a RTWM it’s win or retry on the matches, but there are several points where the path can split based on win or loss and then double that because there’s two characters that can take those paths. Even though I can’t go in-depth with it, I promise this story can be very enjoyable with a competitive friend who’s a good sport. Rack the difficulty up to make it a genuine challenge and see where the roads lead based on the results of your matches. Retain or lose the tag titles? That’s two different paths. Based on which of you wins the Royal Rumble that’s two different paths. The one of you that doesn’t win that rumble gets a title match later, and that causes another split based on if you win or lose it, along with different finales based on which of you wins at Wrestlemania. It’s by far the most replayable in the entire game, and there’s a lot of potential to see new things and build a story unique from the last person you played it with. Batista and Rey Mysterio team up to really show the potential of this mode and even though it’s not the funniest, it is the coolest. (Also it’s on Smackdown so there’s no need to keep an eye over your shoulder for that weasel Mr. Kennedy) 10/10
I played Road to Wrestlemania mode in all the Smacdown vs. Raw games frequently especially with their portability on a PSP, but I only recently went out and bought the PS3 version of this game and writing something about it was my inspiration to give them all another shot and this turned into a mildly fun project. I don’t know when or if, but maybe keep an eye out for me doing this all over again in Smackdown vs. Raw 2010.
Triple H: My man Haitch has his RTWM revolve around one singular decision that splits the path in two ways, reform the defining team of the Attitude Era D-Generation X or the most powerful force of the Ruthless Aggression era by reuniting Evolution? Too bad the path there is clogged with 6 WEEKS of matches against Mr. Kennedy, Edge, or Mr. Kennedy and Edge only broken up by one match vs Randy Orton and one filler match vs Shelton Benjamin. Like seriously, if I ever see Mr. Kennedy again it might be too soon. After a couple tag matches with Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton you make the decision of which to reunite with in a very hands-on manner as the guest referee of a title match between the two. I should mention though you’ve hit about the 10 week mark now so you spend nearly no time with your chosen team. Pick DX and you earn a comical few scenes as in a mock press conference Triple H is pegged as Shawn’s first title defense at Wrestlemania, they goof, they gaff, they slime Evolution, then beat him at the PPV, game over. Side with Randy and perhaps to your dismay you never get the full Evolution experience. One week Ric Flair isn’t there, the next Batista is MIA, H weasels his way into the WM title rematch between Randy and Shawn then you win it. The choice is compelling and the DX reunion is mildly amusing, but you only really have a couple weeks on your chosen path, hardly bearing any consequences for your decision. 3/10
CM Punk: The only RTWM that ECW ever got, Punk’s story starts with an Extreme Rules match against ECW champion Tommy Dreamer who gets a little boo-boo on his ribs and gets stretchered out after you beat him for the title. After seeing this, ECW legend and commentator Tazz decides Extreme Rules matches are da pits brudda, and goes on a crusade against the Extreme in Extreme Championship Wrestling with Stephanie McMahon who strips Punk of his newly won ECW championship and hold it up in a tournament, a tournament that Tommy Dreamer encourages you to get intentionally disqualified from as he still believes in ECW’s hardcore spirit and doesn’t blame Punk for his injury. Steph and Tazz keep you busy with a match at No Way Out against Big Daddy V so you can’t get involved in the tournament final where Elijah Burke is crowned champion. Before ECW can even go on the air two nights later Punk has already stolen the title belt and holds it up in a Last Man Standing match but before Punk can win Tazz runs in from the announcer’s desk uses his patented Tazzmission to Tazz-choke out Punk leaving him down for the Tazz-10-count and Tazz-award the Tazzbelt to Burke. After earning another title shot and winning the belt the next week Burke and Tazz challenge Punk and Tommy Dreamer to a match at Wrestlemania and Steph gives you the choice of Extreme Rules, Steel Cage, or a Table match. After winning that Punk follows up with an immediate offer for a title match with Dreamer in the same stip you chose for the tag match, win that, confetti rains, game over. Punk’s RTWM is a straight line unlike Triple H with no branching choice but ultimately is more satisfying, especially since Tazz is both on commentary and involved in the story so even on commentary Tazz is trying to push his motivations as much as he can. It also gives you the opportunity to dive a little more into the ECW side of the game with flaming tables and other “extreme” features. 6/10
The Undertaker: This one, one of two Smackdown representing RTWMs starts with what seems like a throwaway match against Santino Marella, until the next week when Finlay teases Santino about his ass whooping leading to Santino betting Finlay can’t last as long as he did against Taker, which the game challenges you to prove him right. It can prove difficult if you don’t know it’s coming given the length of Taker’s special moves and the Tombstone Piledriver’s notorious penchant for rope breaks in video games, but succeed and you unlock Hornswoggle as a goddamn summon in exhibition modes. I haven’t mentioned unlockables so far, but that needed special attention. Moving on, either beating Santino and Finlay is so impressive you immediately get title matches, or maybe because you’re just The Undertaker but next week you get a match with The Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Championship, which Santino runs in on for the DQ, shortly followed by Finlay who do no damage to Taker until Santino realizes Taker has a weak spot between the legs just like any other man, leaving The Undertaker laid out at the end of the show. Next Smackdown Santino and Finlay proclaim themselves “The Nu School” and promise “THE MAN” is coming to end Taker’s Wrestlemania undefeated streak. Undertaker does his lights off, lights on teleportation schtick only to be met with a spear from Edge, but they make clear Edge is not “THE MAN”. At the Royal Rumble, Nu School challenges Taker to a match and emerge with The Urn, which in WWE lore has varied between Undertaker’s arcane focus and kryptonite, this time playing the role of kryptonite. Taker is laid out again and the Nu School escape. They reveal on Smackdown The Urn was a gift from “THE MAN” and they have another one too, Kane is under their control due to The Urn. Santino introduces him as “a man you beat three times at Wrestlemania", like that’s supposed to be a threat on The Undertaker’s Road to Wrestlemania? No worries, drop him on his head twice and everything is a-okay (great message). The identity of “THE MAN” is finally revealed at No Way Out as The Boogeyman, which rules, and pokes Kane with his magic red smoke emitting stick which seals Kane’s consciousness or something rad like that probably. Undertaker is given the opportunity to Earn The Urn back in a ladder match against your choice of Santino or Finlay (Finlay is a badass and I’m scared of him so the part here will be played by Santino). Upon victory Undertaker just gives it back, but then the lights go out and it shoots a ray of light into Santino’s face! The effects of The Urn Blast is revealed next week as he turns into a zombie live on The CW! Undertaker uses spooky powers to allow Rey Mysterio to beat his zombified minion then releases him from his captivity only to meet the same fate as Kane by the hands of The Boogeyman. In yet another match with the surviving member of Nu School Boogeyman manages to get his stick on Taker, with no effect, then it’s off to Wrestlemania. Quick detour to a cutscene of Taker kneeling in the ring shooting electricity (OK?), then defend the Wrestlemania undefeated streak of The Undertaker in Hell in a Cell. Boogeyman is chokeslammed into a casket which is struck by a bolt of lightning and disappears presumably sending “THE MAN” straight to hell or Arkansas or somewhere reasonably as terrible. You can probably tell I’ve written much more of the week-to-week happenings than I did for the other two above, for good reason as it’s much more eventful than those others. Besides the dull stretch between the Royal Rumble and No Way Out where truly nothing of consequence happens there was always something to mention. Even delivered through 9 of 12 matches involving Finlay or Santino in some form seeing a huge missed opportunity in the Boogeyman-Undertaker feud that never was is good amount of fun to see play out. 9/10
John Cena: The second of three on the Monday Night Raw side, Cena kicks off with a promo revealing the annual Tribute to the Troops show is next week, and claims to have met good friends the year before, specifically dedicating his next match to Tony. Tony is an original character and if I’m not mistaken is the only time one ever appeared in Road to Wrestlemania, barring the routes in the three games after this built around a character you create yourself. Cena makes quick work of MVP at the show, then Tony makes his first appearance to celebrate with him. On Raw, MVP admits his defeat but claims he had sand in his eye, which means the match should’ve been stopped and takes umbrage with the soldiers in attendance treating Cena as a hero. MVP declares he is officially defecting from the United States because he’s “tired of being treated like less than the best”. After a win over William Regal, JR declares on commentary that as long as Cena remains a US citizen, we’ll be fine. Cena has a match with Umaga at the Royal Rumble, it’s unclear why neither of these two would enter the rumble instead and potentially earn a title shot but, in any case, Regal seems to be hanging around with Umaga or as Regal pronounces it, “Youmainga”. Regal also accompanies Umaga to the Royal Rumble, the reason, as he tells Cena through voicemail, being somebody needs to keep the Samoan Bulldozer under control. MVP eventually interrupts the match and he, Regal, and Umaga engage in a three-on-one beatdown to Cena. Now it’s finally time to officially meet my favorite fictional faction in WWE video games as William Regal plants a flag in the ring on Raw and claims it in the name of Better-Than-U-Topia as Secretary of Foreign Affairs alongside Secretary of Defense Umaga and their President, MVP. Hell. Yeah. But Cena doesn’t have time to even lick his wounds from the Rumble because he’s scheduled for a match with none other than GOD DAMN IT MR. KENNEDY WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE. In a nice touch though the Better-Than-U-Topia flag remains attached to the ringpost. It’s the little things. It’s a quick week next as Cena runs in way too late to save Jeff Hardy from a BTUT beatdown but actually fends all three of them off. In what initially looks to just be a filler week with a tag match against BTUT has the wrinkle of Cena’s friend Tony hobbled and using a crutch as some unspecified injury has allowed him to come home from the military. Cena invites him to chill in his locker room so they can chat when the job’s done, but in the span of maybe 40 seconds the match ends (you hear the bell on the TV Tony is watching), MVP beats Tony up, books it full sprint out of the room, and just after Cena has already made it back to his locker room. Maybe you can’t see Cena cause he’s so damn fast. Cena has a Gauntlet match (where each beaten opponent is immediately replaced by a new one until there’s none left) against BTUT at No Way Out. Prior, Regal visits Cena to inform him of extra concessions for Cena since the match is taking place in BTUT, as you remember they planted a flag and claimed the ring. #1: Cena needs a 5-count to win by pinfall. #2: Cena can’t use rope breaks to get out of a pin. #3: Only Cena can be disqualified for a 10-count when out of the ring. Oh, and also MVP blindsides him with a beauty of a spear forcing Cena to go in already injured. This would have been better served for the finale though since Cena wins! BTUT is left with no ground left to stand on after that, even with the post-match assault they lay down afterwards. They lost with all those advantages and there’s still 27 days left before Wrestlemania so it’s all filler from here. Spend a few weeks engaging in simple storyless assaults against a BTUT member, and in case it wasn’t clear we’re just wasting time at this point the Raw before Wrestlemania I HAVE TO FIGHT MR KENNEDY AGAIN GET OUT OF HERE this is just a one off match for nothing it could be anyone on the whole roster just do Carlito or Chavo Guerrero please! And Wrestlemania is just a 15-minute ironman match with MVP, I still did it for you but all that really happens is Tony shows up at the end and hits MVP with a terrible punch. Going into this I was excited but the memories were better. I’d have liked to see MVP, Regal, and Umaga interact more with each other and the lack of that makes me wish they did this group on TV instead where they’d get the time to do so. After No Way Out they wring out 4 more weeks when there’s just nothing left in it, but between the boring start and end is a solid chuck of some pretty entertaining stuff at least. I hate the USA, BTUT forever. 7/10
Chris Jericho: Our beloved Lionheart Y2J’s story begins fairly by the numbers with a simple match meant to earn your way into a 4-man match for a shot at the championship, but after winning somebody steals Jericho’s gimmick and types “WHO WILL SAVE THE SAVIOR? TERMINATE JERICHO” in hacker text on the big screen. Now Jericho is on a mission to find who put up that text and for reasons beyond my understanding his first suspect is our old friend from Taker’s RTWM Finlay, but apparently he had been milling around in the production area at the time…Jericho puts him in his submission move the Walls of Jericho until he agrees to talk, revealing he was given an envelope full of money to play a DVD after Jericho’s match. Y2J has more business to attend to though as he still has the 4-way he qualified for, he just has to beat Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, and mR. KENNEDY C’MON this roster isn't that small just pick anybody else please! Our last protagonist John Cena is living in a better timeline now, as the reigning WWE champion and Jericho earns a match with him at the Royal Rumble. After a tune-up match with Michaels, the jumbo tron lights up again with a new message, this time reading “y2j_terminated@royal.rumble VIRUS DEPLOYING”. As promised, Jericho’s match at the Rumble is interrupted by a masked man with a pipe, beating him down and leaving as another message is displayed, “end_savior.exe championship_dreams>>>>shutdown”. In a mostly filler week, Jericho is hurt but promises to find his assailant, despite assurances from Shane McMahon WWE is commencing an investigation. Next week we’re presented with a suspect list and given our choice between six people to question! I already know my decision of course, my cockroach of a mortal enemy Mr. Kennedy. I know he’s out to get me so I’m not gonna let him waste anymore of my time. Jericho goes straight to his locker room to confront him, but Kennedy is actually just making his way there. Jericho finds the same mask his attacker was wearing in Kennedy’s bag to which he replies “I’m from Green Bay genius, it gets cold there” hurr hurr hurr I bet it does you snake. Jericho teams with Michaels against Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton so I wipe the floor with that mouthy tool and mark him a prime suspect. Next I target Randy Orton, because anybody who associates with Mr. Kennedy is my Mr. Enemy. Jericho’s angle is the masked man wore camo pants and Orton has a military past, kinda weak, I was more suspicious of the vile smugness of him after he relays that Shane cleared him of any wrongdoing. Either way Shane claims he found someone with no alibi, and sends Jericho to the ring to face him, but Umaga is a good twice as big as our perp so obviously Shane has it out for us too. Y2J marks Orton a prime suspect on the grounds of “he had no good answers” and we move to a new week. I decide Shane seems to be against me too for some reason and choose him as the next interrogation target. He claims he’s just here to help and wasn’t even at the Royal Rumble. Jericho crosses him off the list, so I decide maybe Finlay didn’t give me the whole story and mark him next. Finlay, fresh off a win, is accosted by Jericho backstage and gives him one more good talking to. He’s very forthright with Chris saying he’s in absolutely no hurry to get on Jericho’s bad side again and has been avoiding him as much as possible. Jericho decides he believes him since Finlay is a liar, but not a good one. Beating Jeff Hardy seemed to trigger the messages, so I go to see what he says for himself. Hardy says he was backstage during Jericho’s match and even rooting for him so he couldn’t have done it. Shane just happens to stroll by and puts the two of them against each other in a match. The masked man actually appears during the match, clearly proving it’s not Hardy, and Jericho loses him in a chase backstage. I never got the chance to question Shawn, but it doesn’t matter as the final choice of who to accuse is between Orton and Kennedy. I have no reason to hesitate, Mr. Kennedy is my greatest rival and I know he wants to get rid of me just as much as I want to spray that insect with pesticide. Jericho and Kennedy brawl but a new message appears reading “IVALID SELECTION PASSWORD INCORRECT” and a masked man hits Jericho from behind with another pipe. It must be a mercenary Kennedy hired or something! Jericho is told to take the night off, but he’s peeved that Orton is getting a title shot when Jericho himself has never gotten a rematch after the masked man ruined his shot at Royal Rumble so he runs in to get the match thrown out by DQ. Cena’s a fighting champion though so he’s ticked off at the run-in and just the shenanigans involving masked men in general so he calls out Jericho next week to tell him off about it. Shane sets up a match between them that night which a masked man runs in on again. Suddenly a second masked man joins the fight but Cena helps send them both packing. The next week a lone masked man stands in the ring to call out Y2J, only for Chris to be blindsided by the second masked man, who dramatically pause to finally remove their masks revealing Randy Orton and that BLOND RAT MR. KENNEDY I almost bought that he was innocent. Cena makes the save again and Jericho teams up with him for some payback against Orton and Kennedy. A WWE Championship 4-way match is set for Wrestlemania and I get one more chance to have Kennedy all to myself and really put the boots to that slimy loudmouth before Randy and Cena also get involved and it turns into a big brawl. Jericho gets one particularly satisfying shot at Kennedy by donning the same masked man disguise and suplexing Kennedy on the floor backstage before winning big in the Main Event to close the story. I forgot much more of this story than I thought I did so I was pretty engaged overall. It’s no LA Noire but the mystery is interesting and the short few weeks of conducting your own investigation is fun way of giving Jericho’s path a small bit of non-linearity even if there’s no real consequences for going about it any certain way. The match variety is nice too, it never feels like you’re doing the same match you just did the show before. Jericho has also gotten attention for coming off pretty genuine in his voiceover in these story-based modes so it has that going for it as well. 9/10
Batista/Rey Mysterio: This one is very unique for this game in that you have the option to play this story with a friend, each of you taking control of Batista or Rey for the whole duration. I have to write this one differently though because there isn’t some wacky twist to the story with some all-time silly wrestlecrap to have fun recapping but instead this particular story can diverge in just too many ways to cover, it would be even longer than the other sections I’ve already written. See typically in a RTWM it’s win or retry on the matches, but there are several points where the path can split based on win or loss and then double that because there’s two characters that can take those paths. Even though I can’t go in-depth with it, I promise this story can be very enjoyable with a competitive friend who’s a good sport. Rack the difficulty up to make it a genuine challenge and see where the roads lead based on the results of your matches. Retain or lose the tag titles? That’s two different paths. Based on which of you wins the Royal Rumble that’s two different paths. The one of you that doesn’t win that rumble gets a title match later, and that causes another split based on if you win or lose it, along with different finales based on which of you wins at Wrestlemania. It’s by far the most replayable in the entire game, and there’s a lot of potential to see new things and build a story unique from the last person you played it with. Batista and Rey Mysterio team up to really show the potential of this mode and even though it’s not the funniest, it is the coolest. (Also it’s on Smackdown so there’s no need to keep an eye over your shoulder for that weasel Mr. Kennedy) 10/10
I played Road to Wrestlemania mode in all the Smacdown vs. Raw games frequently especially with their portability on a PSP, but I only recently went out and bought the PS3 version of this game and writing something about it was my inspiration to give them all another shot and this turned into a mildly fun project. I don’t know when or if, but maybe keep an eye out for me doing this all over again in Smackdown vs. Raw 2010.
2020
ANYOIO🎐💀
I only just started playing this, but jumped into the story mode right after the tutorial like I figure most people would and this AI, on normal, is insane. I still have no clue about this game's combo structure or the best neutral options because I just started and the AI is absolutely creaming me, they have a pattern of zoning you until you get close, which doesn't bother me because if a character can do that why wouldn't they, but then once I close in I get input read and clobbered by the same 15 hit combo every time. One time they actually optimized the combo because the one it had been hitting me with the whole match would have just missed killing me so they added a couple of hits somehow. Wild.
2020
I don't hate this game, but I don't understand emphasizing high-contact pack racing and then making the AI immune to the effects of a collision. Seriously, I rammed one of them on purpose at over 80 mph on ice just to test it and all that happened was their trunk door fell off, didn't knock them off their line in the slightest.
2007
I fully acknowledge and agree with the praise for No More Heroes themes, but I play games for fun more than for anything else and I just did not have any.
I prefer Tag Force 3 just because I like the era more, but I have to acknowledge Tag Force 5 because I don't think any other official Yugioh game let you have as many deck recipes as this one. 200 decks! I'm not sure if you can come up with enough unique concepts to fill that many slots.
2004
No matter what coat of paint you put on it, it's hard to make a bad wrestling game in the old Smackdown engine
2006
Occasionally my copy will freeze on the loading screen but if that's not universal it's a very good PSP port.
Yes, a lot of decisions involving Street Fighter x Tekken came from overconfident executives that thought the success of Street Fighter IV proved that no matter what this game would be a smash hit but despite it all Ver.2013 is a genuinely good game.
1995
Look, there's only a few games that let me punch people through walls alright? That's always gonna be fun.
I don't care if the shadow characters competitively dominated this game, I still want them to step on me and I still want people to play the best Persona game.