11 reviews liked by DylansDungeon


This review contains spoilers

I was only nine years old. I loved Cheggers' Party Quiz so much, I played the game so much that I own alot copies of this game on every platform. I'd pray to Cheggers every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Cheggers is love", I would say, "Cheggers is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Cheggers. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Cheggers. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "On the Nose right on the Nose". He grabs me with his powerful br'tish hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Cheggers. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Cheggers. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Cheggers. He roars a wo hey!, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Cheggers looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Bad Hair day Player 2?". Cheggers leaves through my window. Cheggers is love. Cheggers is life.






















































This game actually sucks lol


A deconstruction of the frivolous form of escapism that superheroes provide

i ate so many sour Ice Breakers during my playthrough of this and my mouth hurted so fucking bad
5/5

when I first saw this previewed in Nintendo Power in 2008 I thought it was about Mario and Luigi entering Bowser's body to systematically shut down each of his bodily systems until he died from total organ failure. Given that I assumed that to be the premise it's kinda concerning I was so eager to play it

Literally the best game of all time.

huge emotional attatchment to this game; i've had it since i was like 10. My favorite RPG, my favorite Paper Mario, my favorite ____, my favorite game. Play it for yourself; don't buy into the shitty gamecube nintendofan shithole rn, just play it on Dolphin (it runs great) Great writing, charachters, gameplay, soundtrack, everything.

THIS IS A REVIEW OF THE WII VERSION PLAYED ON WII U

Metroid Prime 2 is an overall improvement over Metroid Prime 1 that forgets it's an overall improvement halfway through the game. Let me explain. The biggest improvement this game did is cut down heavily on the backtracking. Each area on Aether is connected to each other, as opposed to Tallon IV in the first game where areas weren't connected to each other. As such, the moments when you did have to backtrack were nowhere near as bad, also the fact that they just happened less. During the first half of the game, the game is actually pretty clear on where you have to go which makes sense given this is a post-Fusion game. The introduction to the Luminoth was a very nice addition to the Metroid universe and i really do like that for once, Samus is actually able to save someone. Samus' story is one of loneliness and even the few friends she does make end up dying. But in this game at least, she actually does get to save lives (even if it wasn't the lives she was originally meant to go save).

The game is basically Metroid: A Link to the Past/Between Worlds and Dark Aether made for an interesting environment. Constantly having to stay in safe zones was a unique choice although i can't say Dark Aether's atmosphere is that much of a threat. Not only do Safe Zones heal you but they're everywhere. This is understandable tho, otherwise the Dark Aether segments wouldn't be as fun to go through.

.....around the halfway point is when this game starts running into the exact same problems Metroid Prime 1 had: lack of direction and bad boss fights. It starts in Torvus Bog when after getting the Boost Ball, you're supposed to go back to the Temple Grounds and get the Seeker Missile, because only then can you progress through the game. There's no indication that this is what you have to do and even if you turn on the Hint System, the hints come too late because by the time they do hit, you'd have probably been wandering around for 30 minutes (and considering this game came after both Fusion and Zero Mission, the lack of direction is kinda baffling). It also does not help that Torvus Bog is the water level, something Metroid's never been good at. It's particularly bad when you're forced to slog through an underwater section for 20 minutes before you can get the Gravity Suit (or Gravity Boost, in this game). This is also the part of the game that starts getting real cute and locks you into rooms you've already gone through and forces you to fight Space Pirate Commandos. But for once, the water level isn't actually the worst level in a Metroid game.

....Sanctuary Fortress gave me an absolutely miserable time. Rezbits that eat up like three Super Missiles and can hack your suit. Confusing as hell layout. Even more lack of direction and backtracking you aren't told about. Shitty maze puzzles. A barely functioning power-up in the form of the Screw Attack (look how they mascaraed my boy). But hey at least the area itself looks cool and had two cool bosses in the form of the Spider Guardian and Quadraxis.

....what is it with the Prime games having bad bosses, i don't get it? In Prime 2, the final boss of the Agon Wastes that i forget the name of was pretty cool. The Dark Samus fights are also pretty cool. Spider Guardian is a neat concept and Quadraxis is cool. That's it. The rest of the bosses are just annoying non-threatening damage sponges. Like c'mon. Well i should point out i was playing on Normal Mode here but the harder difficulties would've just given the bosses even more sponge and that's not something i needed.

And much like Prime 1, i used an 100% save file to skip the Sky Temple Key hunt because how in God's name do you make the endgame mcguffin hunt even worse than last time? In Prime 1, you're at least given hints as to where they are. In Prime 2, lol. The closest you get is the logs of deceased Luminoth that talk about the keys but give you about as much information as application-based math problems (nothing).

All of this combined with arguably the game's worst decision: ammo-based beams. For some unknown reason, the guys at Retro Studios thought it'd be very funny if Samus' beam upgrades had ammo. They thought it'd be even funnier if the Beam Ammo expansions were really rare. Considering how quickly they drain, all this did was make me not want to use the Light, Dark, and Annihilator beams during combat. Especially that last one since it drains both Light and Dark Ammo. The beams having ammo turned them from cool concepts into the lamest set of brand new abilities for Samus.

Prime 2 isn't a bad game and yes, it is an overall improvement over Prime 1.....when you compare it to Prime 1. Because in the grand scheme of things, the game isn't like, that good. It's just alright and unless Prime 3 ends up being really really good, then i don't understand how 2D vs 3D is even a debate for Metroid. Because as of right now, the Prime games, as fun as they can be at times, are only a mere shadow of 2D Metroid's greatness.

See you next mission.

The atmosphere and aesthetic are top-notch but the core gameplay loop was too frustrating to keep me fully engaged.

Shigesato Itoi's ending to the Mother series leaves off on its strongest messages to take home. I'm of a family of brothers and sisters, but most importantly I have a twin brother of my own. That made the story around Lucas and Claus that much stronger and poignant to me, not to discredit that the writing in general isn't already incredible.

From the slow corruption of Tazmily village as it conforms into a capitalist society that comes with less pros than it does take away familial strengths and bonds within the community, to the surrealist hero's journey of the seven needles, Mother 3 fantastically paces itself out and keeps the core message of family ever so strung through the whole thing.

The characters, while not so much riveting examples of three dimensional characterization, each found their way into my heart as I played through. This is a game where, though it has its lows, had a profound effect on my life for a very long time. Even when you dig to its core, to where you find that it's simple in scope and works off of a fine tightrope of emotional beats, I still think it's a shining example of video games I've ever played. I can hum most of the soundtrack to this day.

The combat may not be riveting, it taking up a huge percentage of the time playing the game and just barely good enough thanks to some great boss design, some solid enemy encounters, and the cohesive rhythm system. But still, I never lost my engagement for a single moment. I was gripped until the credits rolled and the game came up and told me that it wants the very best of my life as I did the characters at the end. And I think, I wish everyone here the best too, and that maybe if these words find you that you also play Mother 3. (10/10)

Hey! They made a sequel to EarthBound! It's very different and does its own thing, but damn is it still good. If you haven't played this, you probably should.