This game made me Alexander the great, cus this is like the best action game I've played since dmc3. It has so much depth, the amount of customization you can put into your move set is so impressive and sick. The bosses are well designed and the enemies are all fun to fight. It's always fresh, new shit happening in every level with quaint gimmicks. The difficulty keeps ramping up and u know. Its awesome. It's kind of hard to review games you like. When it's a game i have problems with it's like whackamole, i hit the problem with a classic elkmane joke and make fun of it, and then i finish the review and rake in the backloggd likes. Alright alright ill keep this one short. This is also the funniest game ive played, ever. Cus like you can bet on chihuahua races and fill ur moveset with different pimp slaps, the credits have a poorly translated rock song with lyrics talking about the moves in the game and all the characters doing stock animated dances. It has personality and soul, but more importantly its fun and funny and good and awesome and shannon calls you puppy and like im not into that or anything but like yknow lets just say i save stated and kept losing to her on purpose for a few hours yknow what im sayin haha im just playing lol im just playing lol

An alternate history heightened reality retelling of Julius Caesar’s death with capcom anime shit? And you play as both Agrippa and Augustus in different gladiator games and stealth puzzle sections? YAY!

I really like the combat in this game. It’s so ahead of it’s time that it’s still ahead of our time. Cutting off your enemy’s limbs and picking up said limbs and beating them to death with it is fun and all, but try german suplexing an enemy into a pit of spikes or a pit of fire or into a tiger. Breaking arms, toying with them til they beg for mercy on their knees and then decapitating them and showing their head to the cheers of your adoring audience. The audience in the gladiator parts was sick, because it’s like a gameplay mechanic that ties into the DMC style meter this game has. You keep your meter high, and you do a taunt, the audience will throw you weapons or food for healing. Certain tricks get you more points on the meter, and they can get really specific and they have fun names. Yes, the names are fun. There’s one for letting a female enemy stomp on you repeatedly. I looked that one up. I swear I didn’t do that ingame. Lol.

The different modes can get VERY intense, and many times I actually screamed out loud like a caveman upon finishing a level. They also just added a chariot mode that completely changes everything, used it for like 5 missions and dipped. Games like this just used to do shit for funsies, yknow? I’m sure theres some funsie parts in new games that i haven't played but i bet they were like “yo we should do chariots” “that sounds sick lets do it.” The boss fights are also all super unique and fun, mostly the ones in the gladiator games. Cause the ones outside there’s no audience to throw you cheese. But the non audience ones happen near the end so you’ll be big and strong.

The stealth is very hit or miss and it’s mostly miss. It usually has a very specific and obvious predetermined path you gotta take, it’s linear, the guards are braindead, but there’s something really special about this stealth that I haven't seen in any game, really. This does have a simple hitman-style disguise system, and this game does the suspicion/enforcer mechanic better than ANY hitman game. These words come outta my mouth like sandpaper but I got to give flowers where flowers are due. Sometimes when you’re disguised, say, as a soldier. And you pass another soldier, he isn’t just gonna do the absolution onward thing of being an enforcer and seeing through your disguise immediately. He will be suspicious and ask you a question. They can be something personal, making an awareness check on the player, or on rare occasions just a quiz on roman history lol. Depending on your answer you could talk your way out of it, raise the suspicion meter, or just give away your identity. I thought that was so involved and fun. This one time, you’re disguised as a thief and you’re trying to go past, but this guy won’t let you, even if you’re disguised. I saw one of the thieves had a facemask and I knocked that one out and took it. When I went back he thought I was him, and let me through. I thought I made it til I heard the “WAIT.” That’s what guards say when they wanna ask you a question. But he just called out and said “be careful, okay?” I’m very glad I only just knocked out the mask guy because these two must be very very close friends.

This game’s approach to stealth seems almost pranky and mischievous. Sometimes you need to access an area that’s off limits to you, and you have to distract the guard. There are some hilarious puzzles you need to do, like throwing an apple at a guard and framing some innocent apple eating bystander and getting the guard to chase the innocent apple eating bystander. There’s more but I won't go into it. Oh, one more thing, this game’s slipping mechanic is so funny. There’s banana peels and jars of liquid you can smash that leave a slippery spot. For some reason if you yourself slip on it, then you’ll fall and get back up instantly. Guards, however, get knocked out. So this one time I just smashed a honey jar by a doorway, got myself spotted, and waited til they all ran in and slipped and fell. I just realized this about myself but I love prankster stuff. My favourite movie is dirty work, my favourite show is impractical jokers, my favourite game genre is stealth, which i guess is evil pranks. Something this reminds me of is neighbours from hell, where you sneak around a guy’s house and just do stuff to him. You hide in his closet and wait til he goes to the bathroom and get an egg from his fridge and put it in the microwave or on his chair. And in the sequel he goes on vacation and you fuck with him on there too. If anyone has prank game recommendations let me know.

This game also has a small bunch of hub worlds that you can go to between big missions. In the market you can buy random shit for Octavian’s room, stuff like rugs and dartboards and tables and couches and tigers and maids. There's the forum where the civilians gather and you can do fun stuff. Idk. There’s fun stuff to do. I'm gonna talk about the story now.

The story is really funny. Classic 2005 bad voice acting, half naked female side character, (tbf the male protag has no shirt or pants for most of the game so she's actually more clothed than he is) and I really liked how it took itself seriously and how well the cutscenes were directed, so it was always engaging. Even if the story wasn’t great. I love Agrippa's dumb ass just kind of standing there awkwardly while other characters are crying cause he doesn't know how to interact with people all he knows is punching. He also punches boulders in this so i'm glad capcom's got a history of that. Octavian is an anime final fantasy twink boy that you can put in a maid dress which makes me mad how accurate it is. Isn't it crazy that in real life, my man had to do his business at nights because older women would just harass him all the time? this was before he became emperor and he was emperor at 19 so this is kind of creepy. NOT COOL ANCIENT ROMAN PREDATORS!!! Next, I’m glad to say there is a dmc1 LIIIGHT moment in this! I wont say when or where so just play it and find out!

Anyways the sequel to this got turned into dead rising, which i still need to finish. But honestly I kind of wish this got a sequel anyways. There’s a lot of cool stuff that's yet to happen. And they set up some stuff for another one. Maybe they could’ve done a mix, shadow of rome 2: dead rising. We only ever see zombie apocalypses in modern day with AKs and hospitals and tanks. What if there were zombies in ancient rome? Anyone ever thought of that? They should do that. But zombies in a mall does fulfill my dawn of the dead fantasy. So I guess I’m fine with it.

THE END!