two of the biggest gaming franchises of all time and all that they could come up with was the triple jump

The best part of this game is the 30 minutes you spend in silence starting at the blank DS screen thinking about whatever the fuck actually happened

i have never felt more hopeless in my life

Can’t wait for this game to be unfairly and completely ripped to shreds before annoying online personalities in a few years release “Starfield 3 Years Later: A Hidden Masterpiece?” This is inevitably a Bethesda game after all, but there is something magical in waiting for a new release. Todd Howard’s passion project love baby - so intricately dense and in parallel shallow with the same issues that plague anything he touches that, if I can’t lie, was exactly what I expected. And at the end of the day I can’t really complain - Hundreds of hours will be put into what’s made here - exploring, scavenging, talking and raiding until I’m left slamming my head wondering why I even bothered. Don’t even bother reading many reviews. It’s Starfield.

To all the Pokémon fans who unanimously agreed these were a weak point in the series - I pity you. Game Freak goes full-blazing and warps the original continuity of vanilla Sun and Moon into something more... "definitive?" Definitive is a incorrect choice of words, as GF instead cranks up integral values of the Poke-experience and leads you to play the boom-based mess left. The writing is uniquely strange and diverges to the point where it just sort of hinders whatever story beats you thought were going to be hit next - most characters have mild-ish growth but god-dammit you'll learn to love these guys so much (giving the professor a personality?). Fights are too easy and then on the same route too hard when US/UM decides it wants to have a difficulty spike day. Key elements of a game most find cumbersome - but this is what Pokémon is. Be charmed by this game like I did - or don't. Tropical settings are neat. Pokémon forms are awesome. Gladion and Lillie are forever my little scrimblos.

Ignoring Katawa Shojou's blatant tribulations / the overall poor aging of 00's internets thematic and writing and looking at it face value; KW's general message is that it's unfair to look at things and people from an outsider's perspective and presume that they're incomprehensible prejudicially. Everyone is undeniably human regardless, and in this specific story the people face their interpersonal problems the same way as the people outside of the academy walls. Do I recommend reading this? No. As someone who has lived with a mild congenital condition my whole life I can't deny that the majority won't interpret the game as I would and rightly dismiss it off as some insensitive jerkbait, but there's still the inescapable, kinda funny irony that 4Chan believed these characters were the real "eccentric and weird".

Spoiler warning for events and plot points in The House in Fata Morgana that are best left for you to discover in your own playthrough first, as my comments here may undermine the experience for your own. You have been warned.

"𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥

...𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘥."

Indisputably one of the strongest pieces of the visual novel medium, the haunting yet human narratives of Fata Morgana establish it as one of gothic fiction’s triumphs. There’s a decisive first impression during the course of FM’s “Act 1” that represents it’s tone and theme, and what the player is going to experience throughout. In it, we are presented with the revelation that during the mid-end of one of the Maid’s tales that a painting laid hanging in the adolescent Nellie Rhodes’ bedroom, depicting what used to be the two siblings side by side of each other, to be a prophecy, depicting the future in which Mell and the White Haired Girl are more related than we think. Following further events this reveal is somewhat insignificant and one of the title’s less shocking twists than to what the story later goes on to portray. Nonetheless this is the first example in which we see one of Fata Morgana’s key devices; the ambiguity and non-linear storytelling.

The game revels in its building of tension and mystery throughout its chapters. Things often need second glances and you’re often encouraged to witness events and characters and view them more as double entendres. You’re often flung twists and reveals, but to credit the writing none of them feel poor taste, and fortunately in the wider picture they fit in well. The ambiguity of the writing itself is also a double entendre of the character of Michel. The third person perspective of Doors 1-4 at first dictate how you believe the rest of the game is going to be, and unbeknownst to you perspective switches between “You” and the Maid in order to intentionally throw you off. We entrust conventional visual novel’s unspoken rules and conventions, only to our astonishment that our perception was false. Door 2 is purposefully skewed towards The Maid’s recount of the story (notice when she isn’t there during Pauline’s sequences) and the chronology of accounts is swapped and mismatched to accommodate reveals. However the perspective swapping also provides insights into characters and the overall synopsis that you wouldn’t see if the story was linearly one identity. Door 5 is the largest and grandest example most likely, as by benefitting from two perspectives we are able to understand Michel and Giselle’s blossoming relationship. Fata Morgana sometimes does the reverse, and provides only a singular perspective. Door 7 leads us only through Michel’s eyes so we can grasp only his emotions and intentions.

There’s undeniable immense credit that has to be given to the game’s atmosphere and tone. JoshTheFourth describes it as “neoclassical darkwave”, and even the comment was jokey in a sense, (if not, then I’m deeply sorry) there’s an ironic sense that the blend of newer and older genres only fit into a game about different point in a millennium. The game advises that you immerse yourself in its sound, only to provide often grimy, eerie and distilling moods upon the player. Most doors have different sounds and ways of expressing themselves to the reader - but all without a sense of.. Uncomfortableness. There’s also the blend of the newer and older art of Fata Morgana - backgrounds are often minimalistic and don’t insight much, but darkening colours and palette swaps to more sinister shades during pivotal moments create a deeper and foreboding tension. Character portraits seem almost too detailed in comparison - beautiful and frailish, lighter tones juxtaposed to the background. Some characters do not even have portraits - referred to only in the text screen below. A lot of what Fata Morgana does well is that, like most visual novels; actions and objects are mostly left to your imagination. This is why moments feel more anxious than they should, and more satisfying if you take more time to invest and put yourself into the game.

There were minor mentions and nods to themes earlier in this text, and I would like to apologise if my haphazard and sometimes lazy forms of writing don’t give the quite mature themes this game envisions the evaluation it deserves. In spite of that I would like to say the game handles these messages extremely effectively. There’s the overall arching theme of morality and humanity during the whole 30ish hours, but towards the end of the game we are shown this in a new light. Morgana’s core sentiment is that the three men are all morally black - unworthy of forgiveness and in that belief she casts them to eternal suffering. Michel argues there is no such thing, good people aren’t good, they do bad things. However he always puts Morgana, generally speaking the victim in this situation, first above all else. Fata Morgana asks that you don’t necessarily need to seek forgiveness in others, but content in yourself. Morgana in the end, has to accept the men and the others around her - and herself - as human, and Michel puts faith in others that although they are indeed flawed; they possess the abilities in themselves to take accountability for their bad characteristics. Unfortunately not everyone in the world is likeable (Michel describes himself as “grey” sometimes - and despite the red herring of the White Haired Girl of being morally… white, she is the subconscious of Morgana’s ideals of human), but by coming into terms and accepting people for who they are we are more likely to make peace with the inhumanly parts of ourselves we reject. There is indeed the rejection of your belonging in this world and striving towards the human in which you want to be. The three men’s plan was never to always to do wrong (their constant belief was that they were in the right) but by accepting these truths they transform into more humane characteristics of their previous selves. We see these in the stories too - Mell wanted to stay loved, the Swordsman truly wished for inner peace, Jacopo wished to be with the girl he cared for deeply. But these actions were inherently selfish, and had to be changed.

I struggle to comment on themes of gender identity, for I am not intersex myself and do not have the internal understanding that intersex people may have themselves to the story, but I would like to briefly comment on the game’s sensitive and supporting handling of such topics. But it is the unfortunate disparity that people recognise that Fata Morgana is often an exception when it comes to the views of gender and queer aspects in visual novel media. Though it may not be my place to comment, I hope intersex and people who may also identify themselves as transgender resonate with the nonconformity and exploration of gender that Fata Morgana empathetically provides.

A final theme that I would like to present here; love is a vital theme that exists through nearly all of Fata Morgana’s lapping plots and intricate storylines, and is somewhat hard to ignore its general significance. The multitudes of love present throughout also have different extents. Nellie’s love is more harmful than positive affection, to the point of seeping through and damaging the lives of those around her. Nell leans too much onto the love, despite him knowing that it’s unhealthy in their circumstance. Pauline’s love is almost blindsided - she’s unable to see the inhumane parts of the Swordsman within him, and vice versa where the Swordsman is using love selfishly to keep those parts hidden. Jacopo never acts in time and when he does, not truly what he wants to do, meaning he loses the White Haired Girl/Morgana. Although it is until the eight chapter when things are presumably resolved between the three, the Fifth Door allows all the events of time to flow into one. It is a breakaway of a gothic tradition. Despite losing each other for hundreds of years, Giselle and Michel will always love each other, and their love is enough for the lives around them to flourish and expand exponentially.

I would like to close this text by directly speaking to whoever is reading this to take a more rigorous look at Fata Morgana than I have here - there are many rich themes that are present as well that I haven’t described here without these paragraphs feeling bloated and without effort put in. If you’ve read up to here and have not played for yourself at least once, I strongly suggest that you still pick up and explore the mansion for yourself. A lot of what is written here is not effective if you haven’t experienced the emotions and mysteries of what lies in it, and despite some colossal spoilers for events some especially impressive moments have been left out. The House in Fata Morgana is simply ground-breaking; an interlinking of rich themes, atmospheric tones and narratives and subversions that create something that can only be made once in a generation.

… I don’t have a sufficient enough or impactful sentence to end things here, so I’d make the final statement that Michel and Giselle are quite adorable.

“𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥…

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥,

𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘦𝘴

𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘣𝘺

𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥.”

​🇮​​🇷​​🇺​​🇲​​🇦​​🇪​ - ​🇹​​🇪​​🇦​​🇲​ ​🇫​​🇴​​🇷​​🇹​​🇷​​🇪​​🇸​​🇸​ 2

​🇦​​🇱​​🇪​​🇷​​🇹​​🇸​ (1️)
​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​ ​🇭​​🇦​​🇻​​🇪​ ​🇳​​🇪​​🇼​ ​🇮​​🇹​​🇪​​🇲​​🇸​!

Recently I’ve become infatuated with the catalogue and timeline of Valve’s works, as someone who has arrived to the PC scene only recently, I’ve picked up their backlog of titles and have come to understand their legacy. Wherever that’s their genre making Half-Life that set forth what an immersive story should be, or the incredible case of Portal, and what I could argue as the definitive puzzle game. Even their more “lesser frontline” games such as Day of Defeat and older Counter Strike’s are fascinating enough where I feel intrigued to explore and delve in more. The success could be attributed to many things, like the Source engine being so perfect for the time as it was, or Valve’s near godlike worship in most online communities. Over the past few weeks however, one of these has stuck out to me as a work I would have never expected to love so much.

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀꜱᴜᴀʟ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜ ɪꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ
ᴊᴏɪɴɪɴɢ ɪɴ 6...

Where can you really start with Team Fortress 2? A flagship of the Orange Box quickly becoming one of the longest supported games throughout it’s life, before falling into a limbo of uncertainty for it’s prevalent future. As someone new to playing, this was incredibly daunting, but soon enough you get into a rhythm of matches and matches and the outsider feeling isn’t really a problem. To delve into the gameplay, I believe they really nailed it right on the spot. Before the time of Overwatch and Paladins there were nine mercenaries, and wherever that the natural talent of Valve they’re really loveable. I initially thought these were just blank slates and that internet culture hypes these guys out more than they’re meant to be, but god dammit they're extravagant personalities really shine out. Scout is loud, often abrasive, Heavy is a sort of stupid yet secretively intellectual character, and the cartoonishly evilness of Medic’s science, to name only three. The reason why TF2 has stuck out so much over the 1.5ish decade course is that these jerk-offs really are individuals, which brings so much personality into the world.

🇽​​🇽​ꜱʜᴀᴅ0️ᴡᴡ0️1️​🇽​​🇽​ ︻デ═一 ɪʀᴜᴍᴀᴇ
​🇽​​🇽​ꜱʜᴀᴅ0️ᴡᴡ0️1​🇽​​🇽 🎯​ ​🇮​​🇸​ ​🇩​​🇴​​🇲​​🇮​​🇳​​🇦​​🇹​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​ ​🇮​​🇷​​🇺​​🇲​​🇦​​🇪​

Speaking of individuality, an almost genius idea that was maybe accidentally brought into the game was the customisation of the mercs.The mix-matching of weapons and weighing out the pros and cons gives you your own playstyle and how you play your matches. To name an example, my team was trying to push on Dustbowl, and were struggling to get it out of spawn. I had an idea and used the Eyelander and Chargin’ Targe for Demoman and successfully flanked most of the enemy team. Older players will probably roll my eyes and make a comment about subclasses, but I felt rewarded by the game for trying out something slightly unconventional.

​🇩​​🇪​​🇦​​🇩​ ​🇸​​🇦​​🇱​​🇹​​🇾​​🇸​​🇴​​🇱​​🇩​​🇮​​🇪​​🇷​⦂ 🇫​​🇺​​🇨​​🇰​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​ ​🇸​​🇹​​🇴​​🇵​ ​🇧​​🇪​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​ ​🇦​​🇫​​🇰​

“Unconventional” suits this game a lot. The more time I spent in this game the more the rabbit hole of gamemode and maps opened up for me. Mann vs Machine, (if you ignore the prevalent toxicity surrounding the games) is one of my favourite PvE modes that could serve as its own game. The uniqueness of mix-matching the weapons and classes comes into fruition here as they bring forward the teamwork and communication side of TF2, and as long as you get great people it’s a lovely time. It gives a very hard to master approach, but I feel as if I’m learning and improving all the time. All of that is driven by the wondrous prize of an elusive Australium weapon, and although I cannot comment on it as much as I would like to, the market system and trading economy in this game is comprehensive and extensively deep. Community tabs, though a violent cesspool of mediocrity, are majoritively entertaining enough to check out. It’s interesting to see what the community can do with only the engine and game mechanics; you only need to take a quick look at rocket-jumping maps for how committed TF2’s players are willing to push the gameplay core.

(​🇻​​🇴​​🇮​​🇨​​🇪​) ​🇫​​🇷​​🇮​​🇪​​🇳​​🇩​​🇱​​🇾​ ​🇭​​🇪​​🇦​​🇻​​🇾​⦂ ​🇲​​🇪​​🇩​​🇮​​🇨​!
(​🇻​​🇴​​🇮​​🇨​​🇪​) ​🇫​​🇷​​🇮​​🇪​​🇳​​🇩​​🇱​​🇾​ ​🇭​​🇪​​🇦​​🇻​​🇾​⦂ ​🇲​​🇪​​🇩​​🇮​​🇨​!
(​🇻​​🇴​​🇮​​🇨​​🇪​) ​🇫​​🇷​​🇮​​🇪​​🇳​​🇩​​🇱​​🇾​ ​🇭​​🇪​​🇦​​🇻​​🇾​⦂ ​🇲​​🇪​​🇩​​🇮​​🇨​!

Its’ cultural status breaks out of this too, as of its’ 16 year anniversary it has miraculously pulled through the lack of support that Valve has given it. It’s a shame, as issues like hacking and the rise of bots have troubled the community enough. But somehow, the perseverance and determination of TF2’s players has me in awe. The aspect of wanting to keep your playerbase together whilst managing to uptake the parts of the game that made it so interesting in the first place is maybe one of the reasons why I love this game so much. And I feel like I could go more into this game, but I’ve said enough. Maybe as I reach the high hour marks my thoughts and opinions will grow bitter, I’ll sour and become a TF2 vet, depressingly wandering and reminiscing on a game that once was. I’ll have joined a community of edgy teens, toxic tryhards, and AI bots insta-sniping me from across the map. But I’ll also be in a place of belonging, and acceptance in a weird time of the internet where maybe all I need from a game is to have fun.

For a game I only just know, this feels like home.
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​🇰​​🇮​​🇨​​🇰​ ​🇵​​🇱​​🇦​​🇾​​🇪​​🇷​⦂ ​🇮​​🇷​​🇺​​🇲​​🇦​​🇪​? (​🇳​​🇴​ ​🇷​​🇪​​🇦​​🇸​​🇴​​🇳​ ​🇬​​🇮​​🇻​​🇪​​🇳​)

​🇵​​🇷​​🇪​​🇸​​🇸​ ​🇫​1️ ​🇹​​🇴​ ​🇻​​🇴​​🇹​​🇪​ ​🇾​​🇪​​🇸​
​🇵​​🇷​​🇪​​🇸​​🇸​ ​🇫​2️ ​🇹​​🇴​ ​🇻​​🇴​​🇹​​🇪​ ​🇳​​🇴​

✓ 6️ ✖ 0️
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​🇸​​🇦​​🇱​​🇹​​🇾​​🇸​​🇴​​🇱​​🇩​​🇮​​🇪​​🇷​⦂ ​🇫​1️
​🇫​​🇷​​🇮​​🇪​​🇳​​🇩​​🇱​​🇾​ ​🇭​​🇪​​🇦​​🇻​​🇾​⦂ ​🇫​1️
​🇮​​🇷​​🇺​​🇲​​🇦​​🇪​⦂ ​🇼​​🇦​​🇮​​🇹​ ​🇼​​🇭​​🇦​​🇹​ ​🇳​​🇴​
​🇮​​🇷​​🇺​​🇲​​🇦​​🇪​⦂ ​🇮​❜​🇲​ ​🇩​​🇴​​🇳​​🇪​ ​🇷​​🇪​​🇻​​🇮​​🇪​​🇼​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​

​🇩​​🇮​​🇸​​🇨​​🇴​​🇳​​🇳​​🇪​​🇨​​🇹​​🇪​​🇩​⦂
​🇩​​🇮​​🇸​​🇨​​🇴​​🇳​​🇳​​🇪​​🇨​​🇹​⦂ ​🇨​​🇱​​🇮​​🇪​​🇳​​🇹​ ​🇩​​🇮​​🇸​​🇨​​🇴​​🇳​​🇳​​🇪​​🇨​​🇹​.

Does anything remotely successful

Slippi: ᵀʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ˢᵉᵉⁿ ᶠᵒˣ! ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ˡⁱᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵒˡᵉˢᵗ ᵍᵘʸ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳˡᵈ!!

Falco: Yeah anyone could’ve done that you little bitch. Do us all a favour and die you imbecile

Peppy: Good job. Your father is dead

This review was written before the game released

“Konami will somehow fuck up the remake” my brother in christ, the original game is still there

Hmm. I’m on the fence about continuing this one.

Coffee Talk 2 has some great points, there’s really an interesting conversation simulator here if you really pay attention to the story they’re laying out here, but I think you can’t go haphazardly discussing serious topics in a situation like this. Don’t get me wrong, the game tries its sincerest but I feel like trying to describe systemic racism and discrimination with.. fantasy characters and quirky meme writing doesn’t work. “People are scared of me because I’m a banshee” and “Our love is always struggling and arguing because we are two different species” is handled really fucking weirdly and it becomes apparent at times that most situations are direct stand-ins to real life problems we as a society face, which makes it, ehhhh worse?? It hurts itself even more at times as it tries to stereotype some of its characters with “unique characteristics”, some embedded through pop culture (vampire likes red) and others… yeesh. The first game did this as well, and I feel like the devs have run this through the ground enough (unintentionally) to justify wherever or not I should continue.

The gameplay is also just, alright as well. Some of the instructions are practically cryptic most of the time and getting locked out of best story sections because you didn’t hand someone the right item (even when the game tells you sometimes it feels misleading in when it wants you to) make the game justifiable.

The orc lady’s still cool though.

Unfiltered awe and joy. Manages to enchant and charm the player in the little time you have together with it, and provides a beautiful message on human determination whilst doing so. Follow your dreams, overcome every obstacle and never give up. And sometimes, when life gets you down, there’ll always be those words you can shout. Who knows, maybe they’ll be someone out there who can help…

大須!大須!大須!



In which the hardest part is battling against the game itself

if you told 10 year told me there’s an officially listened murder mystery visual novel starring the sonic the hedghehog cast i probably wouldn’t care, but i sure as hell freaked the fuck out now

instead of reviewing a piece of shovelware intended for 5 year olds in my spare time, i'll leave you with the Peppa Pig: World Adventures' Queen Memorial™ instead.