6 Reviews liked by Jinzuku


Quite different from other Lego games in terms of structure. The basic gameplay is still there, but you learn spells/abilities and have lots of small levels as opposed to 10-15 big ones. A nice change of pace if you're playing a lot of these.

---------------
Talk to
PSI
Check
Goods
Equip
Status
---------------

Mushroom zombies is the dumbest idea ever. Why ruin the best monster with a mushroom? I can’t take it seriously at all. Mushroom monsters are reserved for Mario. I can’t be scared of a pizza topping. Not only that, but their face looks like pepperoni. OK I guess theyre going with a pizza zombie theme. But then out of nowhere they start making dolphin sounds. OK buddy... I get you're trying to be different from every other zombie thing but the appeal of zombie things is that they could all happen in the same world.
Like oh im passing thru this house and maybe umm idk Ben from night of the living dead was here. Whatever. The spore thing is stupid too and serves no purpose. I dont like "clickers" and the fact that its impossible to melee fight them more than one at a time. I dont like the puzzles all being ladder or plank or wood pallet and i dont like how close the camera is to your character wtf i cant see anything.
and the camera zooms in dramatically every time you do a melee hit and you get less and less situational awareness and it sucks because these mushroom bitches can one shot you if they approach you but i cant see you because im punching this zombie and i can see about 4 milimeters of my 900 inch 4k tv screen not being taken up by joel, the man with the shoulders of me on steroids.
In fact im gonna go on record as to saying I think this may not even be fixed if it was playable with a keyboard and mouse. I'm sorry to everyone who stockholmed themselves into thinking that videogames are playable on controllers but I feel about 60% in control of my character at any given moment.
I couldve pulled off some badass shit if i was allowed to aim and do an input without pressing up left quarter circle l2 at the same time to switch my gun. Even then the melee system still somehow doesnt understand that we figured out targeting with devil may cry 3 and hell probably before that who gives a shit.
Now im using my last melee charge on this baby normal zombie who cant one shot me and oh look the one shot pizza zombies coming here time to do the whole encounter again. FUCK limited melee weapons i hate them with all my heart let me have a knife or something i swear to you i can smash a baseball bat into someone full force and it'd break on the first hit but that's because i'm extremely strong. if someone like joel were to hit a baseball bat into someone you know it would last for a very long time because it's made of strong wood sometimes aluminum or something not plywood.
Seriously i dont get the obsession with having charged up/limited melee attacks in these arkham knockoff stealth games like this and deus ex HR. What a god damn shit show for real. But yeah now for the good parts. This game is really good, i love the story and the graphics, the writing is nice, i insulted the combat a bit earlier but when it works and you're smashing zombie heads into the wall and punching them into pieces it feels amazing.
I love exploring neighborhoods and stuff and looting its very relaxing and nice. I would love to live in a zombie apocalypse IRL i think it'd be very relaxing just like that.
Yeah so... now for the elephant in the room. Yes I know I had this game at one star before. Why did I give it another try?
well aside from not being able to think about anything but walking dead for the past 6 months, I've been curious as to why so many love this game and think its the best ever made.
And yeah I totally get it now. I'm a man, I'm man enough to admit when I was wrong. I've sinned a lot in my life and I've made plenty of mistakes. I shot my brother, I rated encore higher than to pimp a butterfly, I watched Jane die, but nothing.. nothing will compare to the 9 years I have spent thinking and telling others that this game was bad.
And for that ... I apologize. But I'm thinking... does this make me a normie? am I a normie now? am I gonna line up for the next god of war reboot game? oh pls no. I need to play something patrician and niche to fix my reputation. Shit i think its time i pull out god hand.

(5-year-old's review, typed by her dad)
This gets 5 in a row. And also you can quack at people, and there's no levels. And also there's two player. The funniest thing was quack and steal things from people and put them in my BANK which is in my home, which is a big grassy hole. And also I love a glass of milk after I have cookies or like HEY NOT THAT PART, DADDY DON'T DON'T WRIIITEEE

Dog Report Item: This game fuckin' slaps

This review contains spoilers

(MILD SPOILERS)
I had no doubt in my mind that I would love this, being the huge fan of the source material that I am. And it’s very safe to say that I did absolutely love this from start to finish. I wish I could’ve loved it another half a star more, but sadly it’s let down by a fair few technical issues, all of which were minor, but fairly consistent.
I’m so happy with how this game turned out in almost every area, though. The story is a heartfelt, weird sci-romp with some deeply personal themes of accepting ones past, loss and grief that REALLY hit close to home. The gameplay is fun, pretty addictive and has a nice variety to it throughout. But the MAIN stand-out of this game is the art direction and level design. Holy. Shit. Some of these environments are absolutely bonkers, so much so that a few of them made me audibly gasp and just sit in awe for a few seconds upon first seeing them. Seriously, the people who designed the environments in this game were clearly smoking something funky and it works SO well for the weird space-hopping adventure that Guardians has always been about. The whole game is a visual Marvel (haha) and it’s just bloody to see all that care and attention that went into it all.
The characters are… well, pitch perfect, in my opinion. I thought the MCU movies nailed it, but this game nails it even more. I ESPECIALLY love this slightly edgier, kinda loveable-douche-ier version of Star-Lord. But of course, they all start as kinda flarkin’ scutbags, but over time they grow to love each other and love their place in the team, and so you grow to love them too. Obviously, i already loved them from the get-go, because it’s the Guardians of the flarkin’ Galaxy.
The ONLY slightly weaker story element for me was the main antagonist. He wasn’t a mustache twirling Evil Guy, and he also wasn’t a sympathetic villain either.. somewhere in the middle? But I feel like this is just the result of us knowing almost nothing about him as a character. His motivation gets mentioned once in passing, but never fully explored, which is kind of a bummer, because the actor who plays him does a fantastic job.
But, overall, yeah. It’s Guardians. It’s a third person single player action game. And it’s not anything like that Avengers scut that Squenix released last year. Oh and also Eidos have just switched to a 4 day work week. Buy this game. They deserve every last sale.

0 Lists liked by Jinzuku