Watching my SO play this game after getting it set up for her on her PC has been a full appreciation hours experience. I realized the many limits and sides of the game I never would've sincerely done on my own. When I played, I was a very objectives focused player at the time. Not exactly check all the boxes but I did mostly head towards Shrines, Divine Beasts, Memories. I did a little bit extra here and there, but generally it was just that.

She plays differently of course, far more observant explorer than I for example. She ended up finding a ton of korok seeds so far, simply because she loved just looking around the environments. It's become a common phrase just for me to hear by earshot "there's something suspicious around here" and then the familiar jingle. She also just talks to every single npc, something I'd certainly do now were I playing for the first time but experiencing all the first time dialogue with her together has been sincerely charming. There's a profuse amount of work to make all of the characters just dotting the little villages you find endearing and earnest. I never really touched the quests and she's filling them out as she finds them. It's genuinely astounding how nothing that I see here feels too trodden or familiar to me just watching her play, I'm just watching with her and feeling a heavy surge of joy. I honestly wish there was co-op!!!

Both our birthdays are coming up this week, and living this game again together crafts a warm blanket, a sincere coziness to the days ahead. Bless

The most terrifying, oppressive, claustrophobic experience I've had in the medium is no surprise a stalking disturbing message of an encroaching patriarchal faith. Heather wants nothing to do with it, and neither will I. Monsters of repressed memories and physical/sexual trauma stalk the corridors, but catharsis is found in making them all Burn. Aborting god is probably the rawest turn on killing god tbh. I personally got lost in the woods of the threads near the end but I think on just initial reflection that there's a large point in there about an incomprehensibly massive societal issue that makes it difficult to form into something tangible (e.g. male gaze and abuse). It's also like a crystalized end to everything the series culminated in before, tying everything back together. Genuinely super well crafted, and a crazy good final message. That cycle of disparaging hatred is still overturned by the real spark of sympathy, we just want love.

"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

When I first started the journey, I wept when the grandmother recognized me for what she no longer had, but still loved. I didn't think too deeply on how much that would mean as the game continued, but I still accepted that love.

"Love is patient, love is kind."

When the feral kittens I cared for died, I wept when I found closure in saving the animals of the world of Moon. I saved every single one, not leaving a single life to chance to the "Hero". And a lot of it was waiting, patience is a virtue when it comes to understanding the lives of a world that walks on without you. Stories and people do not just come when called, they come around
to those who empathize and seek them out on their own time. And many of these moments are minor, small simple things that add on to something much bigger. Something that really encapsulates that feeling the adventure will call back to time and time again.

"But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

When I finally did what accounted as a final homecoming to areas I had been, people I had touched, I wept once more. I may not remember every single individual moment, but I'll remember what I felt towards them, and they'll live on with me.

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face."

When I walked into technopolis, and so many of the earnest areas capturing the real mirrored reflections of our mundanity, I wept realizing that even in these hollowed out moments love still exists. People reflect on dystopian hells and find sorrow but there's light underneath those tunnels too. Even in its hilarious critiques of people it does not treat any of it maliciously or callously. Moon understands why we are the way we are sitting at the couch watching TV every evening.

"But the greatest of these is love."

When the game asked me to open the door, the one that mattered. With love in my heart, I went through.

(From the words of 1 Corinthians 13, thank you to a friend who showed a brighter way to see life. I hope you found love too!)

Ah

I really needed that.

Hard to be cynical, hard to analyze what I needed emotionally in the moment. Something to plug a hole I didn't realize was bothering me. Sometimes the verisimilitude of a hike that I can't currently get right now is the best medicine for my mental state. The lighthearted soul of something really warm, uplifting that makes my heart soar. I cried to very small, very clearly crafted, earnest messages. I wandered, I explored, I went to the ends of the island and back, and I got something to remember this day forever.

Thank you for the gentle reminder to look forward head high.

Suggested by Phantom. Thank you

There's all kinds of games that are a piece of the creator's childlike wonder, glee, beauty, et cetera. I'd find it difficult to name one that has the same kind of resonance this emanates from start to finish. Gentle, elegant, earnest and bringing you along the ride through a wonderfully crafted landscape of dreams. Sour, dance, play and gymnastics your way through the circus stage made for you. Fears and anxiety are formed only to melt away in the light.

I'll keep thinking about it as the music swells and shifts over the coming days. A lasting impression, of which Oshima himself noted that above all else, they wanted a character and an experience that someone would look at and think "the future looks bright." I'll dance atop that spire of hopeful joy they made.

I don't generally like being vulnerable, publicly. Even my most personal write-ups tend to be at least a little bit structured to guide around pain points that I'd rather not disclose, boiling down thoughts to more readable ideas that I don't need to haunt me. I don't really have that luxury today.

My uncle died yesterday, and we were close enough to where today I woke up staring up at the ceiling regretful, toiling around in my own head with a fog of thoughts that even now still permeates. I went through the rest of the day so far trying desperately to act as if nothing happened, driving with FFXIV music blaring out the car speakers, taking care of responsibilities with the best smile I could feign. Then I got home, and loaded up this game again, drawn to it searching for comfort. After an hour I started rewatching cutscenes, reading things about the game again trying to reexperience the same feelings that brought me solace. The game's chock full of them after all, with a dying man sitting at the bench with you giving last thoughts on a world and life he knows has dealt him the worst hand, to a scummy kid who is envious of his brother and still is even after his death not realizing how much he's trying to fill that hole in his heart that's been left. An old couple welcomes me in with smiles on their faces as they continue to grieve, just my presence being enough to remind them of what once was, but still they look forward hopeful.

I'm crying again as I attach myself to these stand-ins for loss, those depressing but not lonesome stories that help me grieve on my own time. This aura permeates through the entire narrative, as characters not so much different from my feelings of today pull off the same images of trying to act like everything's ok, and even the most naive cocky individual of the party has to come to terms with a hospitalized lover who he now wishes more than ever that he could've spent just one more minute with. I wish I had more time too, the last memory of my uncle is going to be me moving around stuff in his house while he can barely move about his home, and then after helping when he offers me and another sibling to stay and watch a movie with him, I say that I have to go home as it's getting too dark to drive. I still don't know whether my leaving was out of apathy, or cowardice, and I don't know which is worse.

And this game rejects apathy, it pushes to understand these feelings I struggle with today, an ENTIRE cult founded to bring the fall of all is juxtaposed with a desire from those who have suffered the most to keep living. A disgusting choice is thrusted towards the player and what's best isn't to remain ignorant but it is to defy this fucking downfall. It's hopeful, in the end, not wallowing in sorrow, even when the ending is still painful.

Not to say that this is a perfect simulacrum of these discordant thoughts, the combat ensues listlessness even in this version that tries to right wrongs of the flawed original. You walk multiple floors fighting enemies on passable at best strategies thinking about how it'd be nice if we were back several minutes ago to feel feelings at a scene again. There's even what would become late Atlus's problematic bullshit with hots-for-teachers and terrible handlings of lgbt, and that only spreads more poison over time for me. It just makes me angry, bile held and punches I wish I could throw at something other than air.

But the game still very much speaks to me, just putting out these thoughts after every couple minutes of tears and thinking of what this MEANS to me, what it represents, what it is, is helpful. I don't know if I can entirely recommend, or hope that the same will stand true for most individuals, not that it matters I guess. Please spend time with your loved ones if you can, I'm surely about to drive once more to be with family and mourn together while I still struggle not to fall myself.

Disco Elysium is a reminder. A painful one at that.

No, not a reminder of what we knew. It always comes in bouts, that stumbling around attempting to find meaning in the world that is painted in garish colors of conflict and ideologies that tear us apart, that harsh critique of what we are capable of as people. The ways our lives are completely connected in ways that drive us to the brink of despair, building towards a pale that rips at the edges of the world before the whole book cracks at the seams and turns the paper to shreds. No, that's nothing new.

That's something any cynical mindset could create really, even if they had the prose as excellent as this game did, or the character writing this painstakingly real. That's doable. What it really reminds me of, is our emotions, yknow that feeling thing. That helps us really understand each other at our core, is how we as people can live. Living with the loss, the many many many casualties not just personal but also in our own heads. Or as Disco Elysium really well puts it by the end after a long long conversation, "dealing with all this shit." At the end of the day, we're capable of understanding each other, and you don't need to drink yourself to the point of amnesia just so you can find the steps to get there.

That definitely sounds more verbose than a game which painfully relies too much on the odds of sentences landing with a roll of the dice may deserve, but this work was fucking profound to me. Compared to my earlier impressions, of which I really did look like the bumbling cop nihilistically walking away thinking all of it was worthless, I find myself hoping that everyone I know gets around to playing this.

The series as a whole ends up meaning more to me as years go on. My feelings on it can be reflected honestly entirely by how I look at the first title. The personal journey started with me when I was 12 and had a heartful powerful time, then a late high school set of irony poisoning set my sentiments towards it back, followed by years of cynicism and a rampant fervor of 'kh is cringe' adoption. Remarkably similar to my Sonic adolescence really.

The rekindling to talk about it now is almost a petty one even, sparked from a very disgusting dismissive argumentation that sent me spiraling down a set of familiar dead end corridors. But I choose to talk so now with earnest love, because the silver lining is that I did find further re-evaluation, and another reason to love this game the way I do now.

I want to start on its most ethereal edge, that preteen mysticism and awkward conversation we had with others during that time. I think it's KH1's least praised talking point, the way these characters all act almost in their own worlds and open up to each other in stilted but earnest paths. I love it so much, and moreso even in terms of the subtle but absolutely present queer coding I keep thinking about. Initially the way Riku acts towards Sora is one I thought of as an embittered friend, giving a paopu fruit to Sora and sort of egging him on, and then growing detached when he finds Sora switches him out for other people. What I didn't realize until maybe even up to recently is how much that feeling is empowered when you take Riku's eyes as someone who had a childlike passion for Sora, wanting to personally share that paopu fruit with him (not even mentioning Kairi in the scene btw) and then seeing that love practically betrayed when it feels like Sora completely forgot about him. There's a clear obsession there, the way he practically tries to prove himself with his edge to Sora, fueling his isolation further and further and dropping into darkness when he finds himself walled off more by his actions. Sure it's maybe an overtly charitable read of a preteen relationship, but it's something that grows retrospectively stronger considering how more boys love and gay the series goes from here, with themes of identity, true emotions of the heart... further emphasis on how much Riku revolves around Sora.

On more tangible ground though there's still so much to appreciate, especially in regards to the series how this is really the only entry to embrace that early PS2 platformer fantasy, with worlds you go through really reflecting their unique vibes, levels less acting like combat justified corridors and really their own memorable extensions. It also highlights my only real incriminating issue, p much my personal beef with how much of a chore a lot of them are to navigate and do very standard aerial string combat in, to where I don't really have any recurring thoughts to replay because they die to this issue quickly. But the fact of the matter is KH1 feels so strongly alive and only propels Sora's fall into a twisted hero's journey in ways I so vividly recall with pinpoint accuracy to this day. Hollow Bastion is still one of the best handcrafted worlds I've ever seen and experienced and that will maybe never go away. The bosses are all just grand designs too, and while they're not all fun to fight they almost all are perfect creations that are so super cool and distinct.

I do want to end this looping back to that toxic verse that started this late night's boulder rolling though, I think there's some sort of propensity to reject this age's prepubescent thoughts and emotions. Some people look on the complex beast that KH ends up being from the outset, look upon the heavy darkness term usage in later entries, see the plot machinations for just the constructs alone and throw them out of the face of it. And I don't think they're entirely not valid, but I think the series more than finds a way to demonstrating what the Heart is, and life, because it's not a crazy thought to think that the only way to open up who we really are is going to be in a messy smorgasbord of dreamlike avenues. Tonight I seek to reclaim KH as the earnest preteen dive it really is, and the series as a whole for the threads we made upon that foundation.

There's someone out there collecting money for every time anyone mentions that this game was formative for them and you know it's fair to point out that they're collecting enough to be in the top 1% earners. But you know what I don't give a fuck about my complicit support towards this being the hallmark "avant-garde" praise dump!!!

MGS2 is about the earnest heart of liberated thinking and the conclusions we can draw from to better ourselves as a result. This might sound dangerously close to some PragerU stunt but I swear I'm intentionally making that line first to border the game's very clear callout to eventually being terminally online culture war machines. Even with the futureproof nature of this writing, this shit is incredible at getting to the heart of breaking into broader thinking and reading between the lines. When the AI talks about controlling information so context is upheld the game also simultaneously tells you that even if the free world is better while having that context broken we all have the capacity to find it again. And I think that's beautiful as fuck.

MGS2 is also a fucked up simulacra of an author and team that were definitely equally bananas and worked against each other in the workplace (see all the interviews) and that energy just makes it all the more genuine, even if it leads to parts that are ridiculously overwritten. Still going to be an important icon for me all the way up into my later years and I'll never stop stanning.

Genshin Impact is certainly uhhh, something.

Or at least, it really wants to be something, it takes a lot of different things and smashes them together, somehow coherently, in the hopeful goal of being a something. But it really doesn't, it's not a something at all.

That's the long and short of it, but let me break stuff down to the specifics. Genshin takes a shitton of inspiration from other ps4 anime titles (weirdly Atelier Ryza kept coming to my head), BotW, and korean mmos in this weird mesh of trying to be a hack n slash anime open world. You have exploration, dungeons and character class and element mechanics, a pretty standard anime story, and a somewhat sweet vibe in the visuals. But like, each every one of these components are soulless, they don't really come together to make anything special, they're just there.

Exploration is route and boring, with a lot of fucking about getting numbers to go up and seeing very uninteresting sights. You might find some neat gear but gear generally just means number and stat ups rather than anything of much worth.

Mechanics boil down to being very simple, mostly picking whichever buttons you want to mash to make enemies keel over because enemy design asks nothing of you and all characters can functionally instawipe a group in their own way. Elemental play leads to very particular lock and key options but not anything dynamic, sheikah slates and element play of BotW it certainly isn't or really trying to be, it's just dressing.

The vibe itself is very disturbingly stolen from BotW, with the overworld music using the same kind of piano timbre that goes back to it, but it's just MISSING something. It's easy to say it's just missing a soul, but there's more to it, there's not even a sense of direction to what the music is playing. It feels ethereal but in the bad kind of sense, the one where you're playing around anime open world limbo rather than something serene.

I won't deny that the game at least looks pleasant, if anything that was the one thing I enjoyed in the amount of time I spent, getting a literal "ooo pretty" out of my mouth in the first five or so minutes. I guess another plus in this game's direction is that the gacha isn't overbearing as it is basic f2p design really, it's pushed in your face once and then it at best only subconsciously works for people going for completionism shit. From what I've been told, you can clear the story just fine without interacting with the shop at all, so that's nice.

That's kind of all the positive sentiment I can scoop up for this though, it really just kinda sucks otherwise. None of this ends up with Genshin Impact having its own identity, being something from even just one of its parts much less the sum. It really feels like a game made for eastern audiences that does 'just' enough to be relaxing and comfy to waste time in, but then offer nothing in return. Originally I was going to make this review just as I tweeted about it, saying that Genshin Impact is just Destiny 2 for eastern audiences.

I don't really even know about that anymore though, there is certainly a lot more I can give and recommend about Destiny, this is just going to be an afterthought eventually.

Completely wordless honest master class narrative stressing the importance of care, love, unity. Almost feels like edutainment in the sense that it is perfectly crafted for small hands to slowly worm their way through the world, evolving and experimenting with all the very charming animals to see all the beauty. Didn't leave me with any strong feelings tho ;-; but it was always just,,, nice to experience. Lovely to sit down, interact with the full scope of these kind, unique and alien creatures to find their human, cute, and often interesting sense of becoming friends. L-D-L really Knew the world.

Really, me and my SO dropped this several months back, but that's neither here nor there. Just reminded to talk about my thoughts on this, Uhm,

I appreciate the spirit of this moreso than the end nature of it. My partner and I had a blast playing it, and the whole Honey I Shrunk the Kids aesthetic is perfect. I loved all the little minigames, the cutesy charm, all the cooperative puzzles. It's a return to this form of gameplay style from what feels like very yesteryear. If any lesson is learned from this game's acclaim, it's that there should absolutely be more of this.

I just wish the end result here was something I could champion. We ended up dropping it largely from its surrounding noxious energy. The main conceit of this couple being entrapped together fantastically to just reignite their fire for, largely implied, the kids' sake, just made us lose all of the vibes at once. Every attempt to reopen the game was spent on trying to ignore that, but it didn't really go very far. We got about a couple hours in before it became too much to tolerate, especially since the absolutely brutal incompatibilities regarding one of the two just reminded one of us of our ex. It feels like a useless story to me? It's definitely not coming from a bad state of mind, and like, it's genuine, it's earnest! But it feels almost shaming to partners who aren't working out together. All for more people going to couples therapy to see if their issues truly aren't fixable but I don't like this general idea at all, it's so "makes up a couple". Couldn't help but doctor out a story in my head that starts with this same idea but ends up taking it in a direction that commentates that maybe at the end of it some things aren't fixable and requires splitting, a far more realistic notion to takeaway that finishes off with a note that has them separating after all, with a bittersweet understanding of what they've learned from their incompatibility, rather than some, to be blunt, sickening notion of THINK OF THE KID!! GOTTA FORCE YOUR TOTAL SPARK OF LOVE (that for most people in this situation, won't be there anymore) BY MAKING UP COOP STYLE.

Honestly it's worse than the writing. We laughed together at a couple jokes, my partner found the two much much more obnoxious from sentence to sentence than me, but I'm used to it. The smarmy totally shouty couple vibe isn't like a complete mismatch for what everything here is going for. That's the most charitable I'll get with it though haha.

I'll say it takes two is good when we get the much more ambitious polycule sequel it takes three.

When I first touched down on the Sector 7 Slums, after getting off the train, I cried. It's difficult to really boil down those euphoric feelings floating in my brain, the complete wonder and majesty I was experiencing, or seeing something that I cherish captured in painstakingly incredible detail. This tipping point for me defines the whole game, and surprises me at every turn with how much it genuinely understands and soulfully carries the legacy it now seeks to work atop of and, in some cases, defy.

Simultaneously, it's difficult for me to know where to begin talking about the game from here. There's so much to talk about that is just going to come off as fangirling gushing. And while I'm not ashamed of that, I still don't want to say more than I really need to.

I think I'd like to describe another scene, a bit of small spoilers ahead. There's a point of falling action where the cast has to decide what the next option should be. In the middle of the night you walk out to see Barret in the garden, thinking about what keeps him going. He talks to you about his reverence for the people he's known, implying that he's lost them. He tells a history of the wonderful happiness each of them brought, that he continues marching forward with. It's such a powerful characterizing moment for Barret. It as well is a heartfelt honest telling of how these characters act, and respond to what's in front of them.

There's a moment where the game goes full on against its legacy, cutting the threads metacontextually to forge a path of its own. That path is laid in with a next-level orchestration that blissfully captures the energy, and a combat system that is absolutely excellent and is tested to its complete limits here. The final bosses, like ones before, offer incredible tactics and balancing acts between the ATB management and correct positioning. And I fucking loved every single minute of it.

There are a few niggles of course. The pacing is off-center and leads to a lot of parts that outstay their welcome. The combat system while I can heap praise and honestly analyze in a lot more detail than I'm putting here, has issues in terms of feedback both in learning the systems as well as enemy telegraphs. There's also full-on meme additions that really should've been left to the cutting board.

Either way, FF7R surpasses all my memories and feelings of the original. Despite barely taking up like 15-20% of the original game's plotline, it exceeds the entire game. I really can't wait for the unknown adventure ahead.