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This review contains spoilers
Alexa play “Wolf Like Me” by TV on the Radio.
I get the impression that people play these games with the main objective of keeping everyone alive and uh, that’s the opposite of how I played because these lame ass kids are annoying. I was disappointed when I didn’t get them all killed.
I know that to a degree these characters are designed to make the player cringe. It follows the same tired tropes of all the classic teen horror flicks going back 40+ years. You have your obnoxious dudebro idiot, your smarmy wise ass, your confident pretty bitch, the sweet quiet girl, the brooding loner, etc. But that doesn’t mean this horrible dialogue can be excused. Kaitlyn unironically said “cool beans” once. What is this, fuckin’ 2005? I haven’t been around teens since I was one myself, but I know teens don’t talk like this and they didn’t even talk like this when I was that age. These kids are LAME. Shame on these writers for being so corny.
And the story was about as lame too. Too much of a retread of Until Dawn for my liking. The scary monster in the woods thing doesn’t do much for me. Too fantastical for my liking. Most of the story beats were predictable to the point of being boring.
The acting? Whoa boy we got a glaring contrast here. All the veteran character actors in this like Ted Raimi, Lance Henrickson, Grace Zabriskie? Great stuff, and I’m disappointed they weren’t given more shine. These younger actors playing the kids? Yikes, man. I know they don’t have a great script to work with and possibly weren’t given the best direction either, but they are just not believable in the slightest to me. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard such wooden line reading than whenever Ryan opens his mouth.
I’ve never wanted to get a character killed more than Jacob.
It doesn’t help that the facial animations are sometimes so wonky looking that it brings down the immersion. Some of the characters’ faces look fine, but some just look kind of bizarre to me sometimes, like Abigail or David Arquette.
Visually in terms of the environments, lighting, all that jazz, it’s fine. It all looks good. Some of the music is bad and doesn’t quite fit the mood or scene. The little retro aesthetics in the menu don’t make sense to me considering this is a contemporary setting. I know they’re going for a campy throwback thing both in terms of narrative and aesthetic, but tonally it just doesn’t work all that well throughout this whole experience imo.
I find the co-op system in this to be interesting. I didn’t experience it myself and played it solo, but from seeing it and reading about it, it seems like a neat experience. So it has that going for it. There’s not many games like this that offer that, with this level of production, and with this number of branching paths. That’s the strongest compliment I can give it.
As bad as Until Dawn was at times, I think it was still a much better overall experience than this. And I ended up feeling compelled to keep some of those kids alive in that one.
“Played” on PS+
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”
- John 10:11
- John 10:11
I like this. It’s bizarrely satisfying to shepherd this mass of humanity, these sheep, these pikmin people, especially the big gold ones. It certainly doesn’t reach the peaks of some of Enhance’s prior titles, but this is a very solid and low stakes puzzle game. The brutalist architecture of the levels combined with the ever-growing masses of conveyor belt humans can lead to some interesting visuals. The music is trance-inducing but can also get repetitive in a bad way, so you may want to turn it down in the mix like I did. I like that they trickle in game mechanics at a good pace. It also doesn’t get too frustrating or brain-hurty, at least for me, a noted sufferer of brain hurt. It’s fun to just mess around with and try out various solutions. I have not spent a ton of time with the user-generated stuff yet but it seems to be a nice addition. The only thing that bugs me is that the ethereal shiba inu is terribly unrealistic - where’s the hysterical screaming for no reason?
It’s called doing genocide. We do a little genocide.
The first thing we learn about our protagonist is that she killed a billion people. Oopsie daisie! But she feels bad about it so she’s not bad, ok?
The gummi ship missions in Kingdom Hearts are genuinely more exciting and enjoyable.
There’s a lot of story and lore here and a whole ass sci-fi universe to ponder but uh, I dunno, seems kinda basic and bland to me? A lot of retreading on Star Wars. They sure do love to just dump a bunch of words on you.
Absolutely nothing about this game sticks out. I’m down for more spaceship shooters, but preferably ones that are actually fun and thrilling and feel good to play. I guess mechanically it feels competent? It looks alright? But the general design and structure is very boring to me. It’s at its best when you engage in dog fights but they just don’t hit the way I want them to. Flying around and accepting side quests that amount to nothing more than fetch quests and simple battles against the same enemy ships just feels woefully uninspired to me.
“In February 2022, Embracer Group (parent company of Deep Silver) revealed that Chorus had failed to meet sales expectations.” Oopsie daisie!
Played on PS+