I’ve sat on this one for a few days, and am no closer to really knowing how I feel about Mega Man 8. I’ve made clear in previous reviews that I don’t like the feeling of angling for an anime that runs through the worst of these games, but this is such an accomplished attempt at that very thing that I can’t help but be charmed by it. From the cutscenes (haha bad dub, yes, but Xebec were no slouches, crafting some beautiful cutscenes to compress down into garbage. Almost five years since their closure and the wistful nostalgia is getting painful) to the meticulously over-animated sprites and lush environments, it’s some next level pandering to another medium.

The gameplay is… different. Sometimes it’s garbage, there’s a lot of instant death moments that feel like the game’s fault, which was rare in the 8-bit era. Sometimes it’s spectacular, such as the robot masters and other bosses, where the larger sprites and meticulous animation allows room for some amazing reading and reacting (Tengu Man in particular is a stand out for this, where you get so used to different poses and heights that you feel like a genius for handling). By and large though it doesn’t feel like Mega Man to me, which is why I was prepared to hate this from the start. Even positive changes like being able to have the buster and a sub-weapon equipped feel sacrilegious to this old brain.

Rush gets fucked over again, swapping utility and armour for a bike form(neat), and a bunch of far less interesting but far more… toyetic? Animation-friendly? applications that can collectively be used once per level. I’d moan about it more, but we still get Rush Jet for special shooter sections where you summon all your pals to your side, and the healing option is the only way I could stand a chance against Wily 2.

The limited screws and item purchase system is kind of neat, but only a small handful are particularly useful, so I never felt driven to 100% completion. It feels like the bones of a good idea, but needed more than half-baked options to really maximise its potential.

And so I’m in a weird position where this isn’t a game I like, but is a game I can recognise as being very good at its core aims, which is being a cartoon you can play. That’s… God, I mean that’s more than 7 ever did, and so three stars feels fair. I feel like I might revisit this one day on the Saturn just to see if the changes made there make for a better experience.

It’s very interesting that, when moving classic Mega Man onto the Super Nintendo, that they leaned more towards Mega Man IV of the Game Boy line than anything else, though aspects of MM6 are also here. Produced under an ungodly deadline, it had to be hard to decide what aspects were worth carrying across, but it feels notable that they went with the GB ‘4 masters at a time’ approach, with shopping functionality for a less reserved use of items. An understanding, perhaps, that it represented the best opportunity for change on the mainline, and was tried and tested enough to expect some success.

Anyway, this game is some cartoon shit, and as unfair a Mega Man game as I can ever imagine. The former is a matter of presentation: going from 8-bit to 16-bit afforded the artistic side of the development team to create something was more visually pleasing, and story cutscenes with laboriously slow text dialogue is as good an opportunity as any to show it off. I don’t like it myself, because for the most part classic Mega Man’s plot is naff, and drawing attention to it with another mysterious frenemy and the woeful antics of shopkeeper robot Auto is a terrible mistake. John Carmack one said that story in a video game is like story in a porno film, expected but not important. John himself has acknowledged that the statement was erroneous in years since, but if it was specifically classic Mega Man that he was referring to (it wasn’t) then I’d be fully on board. The story should never draw focus over the gameplay, and at this point it’s over the line. And yet it’ll get worse soon enough.

The unfairness seems to be related to the presentation. Hitboxes are rough in this, and instant death traps are everywhere. In the NES or GB games this wasn’t that much of a bother, but it felt like I was experiencing pointless twitch deaths for holding or not holding a button long enough way too often. I’d call it a challenge after so many games where dying was mostly saved for health checks at robot master fights, but if it doesn’t feel like an earned death, then it’s just so much getting kicked in the dick for no reason.

The robot masters themselves are… fine. Buster-only fights are few and far between for me on this outing, just for difficulty, and in its place are the laughably overpowered weaknesses matching of following the boss order. If you have the weakness of any given robot master they simplify their move sets and die on the spot. I’m told Cloud Man has moves, but with careful timing that dude just landed on his butt five times and fucked off into nowhere. It’s dull.

Power-ups are… fine. The Rush power-ups feature a fair compromise on Rush Jet and an okay Rush Coil, as well as a hilariously downgraded Power Adaptor, combining power and flight forms into something not quite as good as either. Still, you can find/buy a homing fist to make it an essential bit of kit, so it’s not all bad. Beat’s been turned into a fall save, which is a huge downgrade from the homing pigeon that allowed me to focus on dodging while it fought for me. The robot master weapons are… all quite fun and unique, actually, thumbs up. I enjoy how Freeze Cracker (best name) and Scorch Wheel make substantial environmental changes, and Thunder Bolt’s powering of machines is a neat touch.

The non-master bosses are a mixed bag. Bass is a joke, which is worrying when I have to play as him in the near future, Wily is infamously torturous (though I actually started to work out how to dodge the four lights by the end), but… I’ve lost my point, actually, maybe they all just suck. I hated the fat clown who kept losing his head, too. They are, at the least, pretty polished, as are most things in this, for good or ill. They look and feel finished, even if they are a bit shit.

It would be easy to dismiss this game, as I have done in the past, by looking at how Mega Man X changed things up, but the short development time didn’t allow for much innovation or satisfaction, and they were also making a new entry in a franchise that felt pretty complete. The world didn’t need Mega Man 7. I didn’t need it.

Imagine how I’ll feel about Mega Man 8.