What if you took the original Dragon Quest, added two useless magic wielding squishies you absolutely need to keep alive at all times, made it so monsters could destroy you in a couple turns, and blew up the world map to the point that you will get lost if you're not looking at a guide?

That's Dragon Quest II. Can't say I enjoyed that one any more than the original. The difficulty is apparently what makes this game so notorious. Personally it wasn't anything I had to worry about after putting the previous game's grindset into effect, but my god was this game a slog to traverse.

It's a sound idea on paper to increase the size of the map for a sequel, but my god, this was not the way to do it. After a fairly simple few hours, where you spend most of your time grinding against groups of roided up baboons and caterpillars praying they don't decide to target one of your idiot cousins, the game suddenly thrusts a boat on you. That's when the fun really begins.

Do you enjoy looking for magic McGuffins with barely any clues? Knowing they can be anywhere on a fairly massive map, where the ocean leaves you with no break from the constant random encounters? I hope you do. Because that's what Dragon Quest II is all about. I won't rant about every single cryptic clue and weird puzzle or hellish inventory management or anything like that. At the end of the day, it's still an incredibly old Famicom RPG. I get it, but I just don't think I like it, really. Hopefully the next 2 games can raise the bar a bit, and get closer to something a little more playable by modern standards.

Oh, and despite the log date, I basically played through the whole game in my first play session, and then picked back up weeks later right at the final dungeon, so no, I didn't spend a whole week on the game. I think I would've gone nuts.

I'm gonna be nice to this dinosaur of an RPG. Because honestly despite the low score I'm giving it (reflecting my personal enjoyment of the game), I don't think it's all that bad for the time it was created in. In fact, it's pretty great when you consider when it came out. I just don't think it holds up very well for someone like me, who already isn't a massive fan of RPGs. I'm hoping to change that by going through this series but hooo boy this was a bit of a rough start. The guide I read while playing certainly helped me with knowing where I needed to go.

Overall, the progression follows a simple rule : If you go there, will you get your ass kicked? If that's the case, then go to an area where you won't get your ass kicked, grind for a few hours, and try again. That's more or less the gameplay loop. Effective in 1986, but in 2023, I would say it leaves a bit to be desired. The size of the map helped the game never get too annoying at least, since it's easily completable in an afternoon.

Also, and that goes without saying, but the monster/character design done by Akira Toriyama is absolutely incredible. The music is also pretty good, though the limited amount of tracks means that it didn't get to shine as much as I assume it will in later entries.