While it's a tragedy that this ended up being the final game that I completed in 2022, it feels strangely apt to end on such a sour note. I don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but I'll admit I haven't been in the right headspace for quite a few years now. 2022 was no different, and while I continue to grow as a person and learn to appreciate the little things in life, I'm still dealing with personal traumas and my subpar mental health as I go. But, how exactly is this relevant to Sonic Boom?

Well, every year I think to myself, "This will be my year. Great things await." But nope, every year is the same as the last. Certain ambitions and expectations that are ultimately shattered by disappointment. And that's what Sonic Boom is, really, and with a title like that, it seems highly appropriate. Rather than it being the smashing success that the team probably hoped it would be, it was an explosive failure that somehow managed to make Sonic 06 look competent. In a way, it also parallels the tiny bit if shattered hope I had of 2022 being good.

The funny thing is that I don't really have any major complaints. But it's such an incredibly bland experience that it feels insulting to even play. When I set out to finish every Sonic game, I never expected the series to reach such banal levels of insipid game design, despite knowing full well of this game's infamy. This was a game I could tell was going to be horrible within the first 10 seconds of actual gameplay.

Imagine this: You are running on rails through some uninspired floating roadway as is typical of these games, but suddenly the framerate drops to 15 through some loop or some other janky transition, all while Sonic says any of these phrases and more:

"Built for speed!"
"This is what speed looks like!"
"Can't slow Sonic down!"

As I reference a Nintendo Life article, former Sega of America producer Stephen Frost gave a few reasons for the game's failure, "one of which is that based on focus tests, people were "sick and tired" of Sonic going too fast and wanted to slow him down."

My guy, what the fuck are you talking about? Even if this was accurate, that doesn't also mean literally dropping the framerate. That's the power of CryEngine on Wii U, I guess. And no, I never expected this game to be anything more than somewhat mediocre, but truly, this is much worse than I could have imagined. At least the other bad Sonic games I've played were short enough and didn't subject you to 6 grueling hours of some piss poor excuse for entertainment.

So yeah, 2022 was not at all the year I hoped it would be, but there's always next year. To end on a more positive note, I have to admit that it was not all doom and gloom. There were actually a lot of great moments that happened this year, mostly involving time spent with family. As a coaster enthusiast, I was also able to get a lot of new credits. It's those small and joyful moments that make it worth pushing through life's harships. But anyway, here I am, with only a few minutes to go 'til the start of 2023, fireworks going off outside my window, finishing up this write-up. I am once again hoping 2023 will be my year, but even if it isn't, I can still look forward to the little things I'll certainly continue to enjoy out of life, and I can also find some solace in knowing that I won't ever have to touch this game ever again.

Reviewed on Jan 01, 2023


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