TheQuietGamer
That McDonalds Sonic game everybody liked to meme about on here for a minute there? Yeah, that was me.
I like to play the niche, weird, obscure, or just generally underappreciated stuff no one else cares about.
My rating scale:
★★★★★: 10/10 "Masterpiece"
★★★★½: 9-9.8/10 "Amazing" or 9.9/10 "Near-Perfect"
★★★★: 8-8.9/10 "Great"
★★★½: 7-7.9/10 "Good"
★★★: 6-6.9/10 "Okay"
★★½: 5-5.9/10 "Mediocre"
★★: 4-4.9/10 "Bad"
★½: 3-3.9/10 "Awful"
★: 2-2.9/10 "Terrible"
½★: 1-1.9/10 "Abysmal"
No stars: 0-0.9/10 "Garbage"
Badges
Epic Gamer
Played 1000+ games
Famous
Gained 100+ followers
On Schedule
Journaled games once a day for a week straight
Busy Day
Journaled 5+ games in a single day
GOTY '23
Participated in the 2023 Game of the Year Event
Early Access
Submitted feedback for a beta feature
Treasured
Gained 750+ total review likes
Pinged
Mentioned by another user
GOTY '22
Participated in the 2022 Game of the Year Event
Trend Setter
Gained 50+ followers
Listed
Created 10+ public lists
2 Years of Service
Being part of the Backloggd community for 2 years
Adored
Gained 300+ total review likes
Well Written
Gained 10+ likes on a single review
Gone Gold
Received 5+ likes on a review while featured on the front page
Loved
Gained 100+ total review likes
Shreked
Found the secret ogre page
Best Friends
Become mutual friends with at least 3 others
Roadtrip
Voted for at least 3 features on the roadmap
Organized
Created a list folder with 5+ lists
Donor
Liked 50+ reviews / lists
Popular
Gained 15+ followers
GOTY '21
Participated in the 2021 Game of the Year Event
Noticed
Gained 3+ followers
Liked
Gained 10+ total review likes
Elite Gamer
Played 500+ games
Gamer
Played 250+ games
N00b
Played 100+ games
Favorite Games
1025
Total Games Played
012
Played in 2024
049
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This change in format also forces RWS to engage in a larger amount of scripted storytelling, set pieces, and concocting of their own jokes. Most of my chuckles in the main offering came from however I chose to amuse myself with the tools I had at my disposal. Without the same range of freedom and flexibility at your fingertips here though, they're left trying to mine laughter from the stuff going down in the cutscenes, and let me tell you none of it is terribly funny. A lot of the material is recycled gags (Haha, terrorists and protestors! Satire! LOL!) and gratuitous profanity usage, so I guess I'm expected to be rolling on the floor over how much more absurd and over-the-top everything is now. This expansion marks the point where the franchise first made a heavy push into the hyper-ridiculous territory that would more or less define the property moving forward. I may not be guffawing, but we do get a few noteworthy qualities out of it. Primarily the Dude's hallucination sequences where his prior head trauma causes him to slip into a nightmarish version of reality, which I think might be the devs poking fun at Silent Hill. Whatever the case, it shows the studio has the potential to create a strong horror title visually should they ever decide to step back from the Postal brand for a second.
It's a shame this isn't better, because it's actually a big part of the property's history and lore, making it kind of essential to get the full picture. Apocalypse Weekend played a huge role in shaping the tone of the series and is also the source of that "pigeon mission" meme the fanbase constantly references (for some reason). Unfortunately, it feels about the same as your average crappy, low-budget 2000s era indie FPS. The particular weak points being an overly long and difficult escape from a U.S. military prison/nuclear silo that requires quite a bit of save scumming and one of the most dreadfully loathsome final bosses I've ever faced. I also experienced multiple crashes to desktop, which never happened to me during my playthrough of the base game. Oh well, at least when I exit to the main menu there's a sexy chic in a thong there now. So that's nice.
4/10
What's allowed this satire of GWB era America to stand the test of time as a sort of pseudo-classic that people still play, replay, thoroughly enjoy, and talk about nearly 21 years later as of this writing isn't its ability to appeal to immature teenagers while simultaneously causing their authority figures to look pretty foolish for complaining about it, however. It's the absolute playground for childish mischief it provides. The vulgar/heinous acts you can commit and politically incorrect world they take place in are presented in a cartoonish, clearly tongue-in-cheek manner akin to something like South Park. What feelings of repulsion one could have in regards to the havoc they create is offset by the knowledge that every NPC around you is just as big of a sociopathic maniac. A fact that only becomes more evident as the scenarios you find yourself in steadily grow increasingly outlandish, absurd, deranged, and unhinged as the in-game week goes on.
Not to mention, its approach to the open-world setting may be dated by modern standards, yet there's a retro charm to that simplicity and barrenness which solely serves to pull you in further. I noticed myself exploring the map, not because I had to find X number of doodads to turn into some umpteenth quest-giver or was chasing down another icon/marker, but rather due to genuine curiosity and pure enjoyment in doing so. I had a blast ignoring my main objectives and getting lost for hours in the various locations along the way, always being rewarded in the form of stuff such as amusingly silly visual gags, ridiculous Easter egg secrets, or new weapons that are hidden in every corner in very 'Murican fashion.
The best part is that they're basically giving this away these days. I picked up a Steam key from RWS’s own website for $2, and that version comes with a variety of expansions and quality of life improving mods already pre-installed that you can toggle on or off at your discretion. As a result, I can't help but recommend this, even if just to say you have had the Postal 2 experience for yourself. You really should too. Though the entertainment it offers is undeniably juvenile and highly inappropriate, the weird trash masterpiece status and strong cult following this has managed to achieve regardless (and continues to seemingly somehow grow) elevates it to being worthy of trying despite its fairly tasteless nature. Who knows? You may end up discovering a not-so-guilty pleasure in the process like I did.
9/10
The game replaces the weird squid-children and ink with, well, foam and... influencers? The most unique thing it brings to the table is elements of your typical hero shooter, where instead of customizing loadouts to determine your playstyle you select from a group of characters at the start of each match with their own skills and abilities. Not a terrible idea. The problem is that it's difficult to fully relish using any of them when the core gunplay is so odd no matter who you go with. Most shoot in this bizarre arcing fashion usually used for throwing grenades pretty much everywhere else. This means you have to determine where your bubbly bullets are going to land in order to effectively hit someone, which can be tough to do in the heat of the moment causing the majority of firefights to devolve into everyone simply spraying and praying they land enough damage to open up opponents for the surfboard slide finishers. The ones who do shoot in a more traditional straight line tend to have significant range issues.
Slightly awkward gameplay isn't necessarily always a deal-breaker though. In fact, I'd say you're more likely to put this down over the general lack of content instead. There are only three match types right now. One of which, a twist on TDM with lives where the final kill has to be against the opposing team's top player, is constantly available while the other two cycle in and out on a confounding hourly rotation. Why the devs would choose to do this I have no idea, but it merely serves to make the offerings of an already fairly meager package feel even slimmer. There are single-player and co-op PvE missions where you defend generators from waves of pathetic enemies who strictly approach from a single direction and typically culminate in a marginally less pathetic boss battle. The latter does contain some value due to the fact that it can be pretty challenging on the hard difficulty setting, yet ultimately isn't enough to keep either inclusion from being altogether dull and entirely skippable.
It's also worth noting the former features super annoying writing to boot. All the dialogue is incredibly juvenile. I don't mean in a crass and crude sort of way, rather that it comes off as aimed at very young children. Quite at odds with the sexual designs of a few of its heroines. The voice acting delivering it might be the strangest part of this entire package. I'm not convinced about half of it isn't AI generated, because there can't seriously be a reality where they found this many individuals who read that unnaturally even on a first take.
Whether this being (currently) kind of, sort of, but not truly or always going to be "free" depends on how much you're bothered by the microtransactions. They are 100% optional and avoidable so there is NO pay-to-win bullcrap going on and therefore cause me to take zero issue with them. That being said, I will mention the price tags are ridiculous, with a lot of bundles costing nearly the same amount as a brand-new released game, and there's the usual irritating seasonal battle pass junk. The freemium mechanics don't stop there, however. In a downright borderline hilarious move, the perks-esque boost loadouts you can equip the roster with are inexplicably randomly generated by a gacha system, mercifully fueled by in-game currency rather than real-world cash. You can't make this stuff up and that may be the sole aspect more unbelievably peculiar than the voice-overs.
Despite everything I've talked about, the multiplayer can still be mindless fun in spurts thanks to the creative modes. At least when you're winning. My personal favorite sees teams split up into two groups, requiring both halves to coordinate while one is in the fight and the other provides support from outside of the arena. The designs of the current cast are also appropriately striking, eye-catching, and cool in spite of the storytelling portraying them as huge dorks. Originally, I was intending to stick around long enough to unlock the complete trophy list. With such a variety of better games out there these days, I simply can't justify wasting any more time on something this mediocre and flawed, or recommend it to anybody else. Certainly not when you have to start paying for it. Psssh, forget that! Square Enix needs to smarten up and backtrack on those plans IMMEDIATELY!
5/10