Zucchini
4 reviews liked by Zucchini
It’s the biggest piece of dogshit
Donkey Kong Country
1994
Oh man I love this game
Super Paper Mario
2007
This review contains spoilers
This game sucks.
Super Paper Mario is not only the worst game in the Mario franchise, it is a strong contender for the worst game in Nintendo's history. Every single aspect of this game is bad from its lacklustre gameplay, to it's badly implemented partner system and a story so incredibly edgy it makes YIIK look like The Godfather.
The entire time during the game I can never tell if it wants me to play an RPG or a platformer, it spans across both genres and fails miserably at both. Because the whole unique shtick with this one that separates it from the other games in the series is that you can.... play the game in 3D. Is this a fun mechanic? No. It's absolutely terrible and makes it pointless to play as any character other than Mario when traversing through the overworld, which by the way has some of the most uncreative and ugly looking NPCs and enemy designs in any Mario game.
Mario does nothing in this game, he literally just walks around and doesn't have any funny interactions like in Paper Mario 64, the protagonist of this game is Tippi. A butterfly who got sent to The Flipside dimension by the father of Count Bleck, the game's main villain. Bleck wants to destroy the worlds after he lost his Tippi because the son of a cult leader can never find true love... WOW. Incredible message game! Where'd you steal that from? The Phantom of the Opera? But noooo that story wasn't edgy was it? So lets just add in this magical tome call The Dark Prognosticous to make this game's story seem mature than it is. GARBAGE
Any when Bleck is done having his little Kylo Ren tantrum he unleashes the chaos heart to desroy all the worlds, including The Mushroom Kingdom so Mario has to go around dimension hopping so other characters can complete his quest for him. Oh and btw Luigi is evil, because I guess that helps with his character development?
'Are any of these dimesnions worth saving' you might ask and the answer to that is NO. The only one thats actually unique or interesting is the one that actually gets destroyed in the main story that has these awesome little samurai dudes, easily the best part of the game.
If you noticed by now I'm only ragging on this games terrible fanfiction-tier story its because the gameplay has NOTHING noteworthy to mention. Theres this retro 8-bit powerup that has a funny interaction with a Koopa Troopa in World 3 but thats the only entertaining this game does, the boss fights are the easiest of any mario game, the final boss of the game is the easiest one and every enemy is defeated almost exactly the same (You just use Bowser's fire)
The partners are nearly all USELESS apart from the one you get for beating the games post game pit of 100 trials and you know why? Because it actually helps you speed up with this god awful game and help you beat it faster so you can put it back in the box and never touch it again. And this game can be SLOW at times, if not for some unfunny meta humour NPC making you do some dumb quest then definitely some of the level design taking you on literal railroads for 15-20 seconds to sell the "WOAH THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY PAPER" aesthetic, something that the previous game on the GameCube did way too much and something this game does equally as often to absolutely zero laughs or smiles at the quirkiness.
World 1 is bad - You go through this desert and it mostly serves as an introduction to a minor villain in O'chunks who is Bowser's rival
World 2 is actually good - The villain in this one turns into a giant spider and chases you down like Resident Evil 3, the only actual challenging part of the game
World 3 is awful - The meta humour is on point with Bowser being a painfully unfunny joke and the villain is some nerd who kidnaps Tippi because he likes Funko Pops
World 4 is so bad I can't put it into words - The level design is utterly atrocious
I don't remember World 5
Haha I love the little Samurai Dudes!
World 7 is bad - You get Luigi back but its too late in the game for him to do anything actually meaningful
World 8 is also bad - Everywhere looks the exact same because the castle has 1 aesthetic which is black with white outlines, and this game expects you to find gaps in 3D when it looks like this.
I hope after you read this review and if you're on the fence about playing this game that you take the following advice:
Don't.This game sucks.
Super Paper Mario is not only the worst game in the Mario franchise, it is a strong contender for the worst game in Nintendo's history. Every single aspect of this game is bad from its lacklustre gameplay, to it's badly implemented partner system and a story so incredibly edgy it makes YIIK look like The Godfather.
The entire time during the game I can never tell if it wants me to play an RPG or a platformer, it spans across both genres and fails miserably at both. Because the whole unique shtick with this one that separates it from the other games in the series is that you can.... play the game in 3D. Is this a fun mechanic? No. It's absolutely terrible and makes it pointless to play as any character other than Mario when traversing through the overworld, which by the way has some of the most uncreative and ugly looking NPCs and enemy designs in any Mario game.
Mario does nothing in this game, he literally just walks around and doesn't have any funny interactions like in Paper Mario 64, the protagonist of this game is Tippi. A butterfly who got sent to The Flipside dimension by the father of Count Bleck, the game's main villain. Bleck wants to destroy the worlds after he lost his Tippi because the son of a cult leader can never find true love... WOW. Incredible message game! Where'd you steal that from? The Phantom of the Opera? But noooo that story wasn't edgy was it? So lets just add in this magical tome call The Dark Prognosticous to make this game's story seem mature than it is. GARBAGE
Any when Bleck is done having his little Kylo Ren tantrum he unleashes the chaos heart to desroy all the worlds, including The Mushroom Kingdom so Mario has to go around dimension hopping so other characters can complete his quest for him. Oh and btw Luigi is evil, because I guess that helps with his character development?
'Are any of these dimesnions worth saving' you might ask and the answer to that is NO. The only one thats actually unique or interesting is the one that actually gets destroyed in the main story that has these awesome little samurai dudes, easily the best part of the game.
If you noticed by now I'm only ragging on this games terrible fanfiction-tier story its because the gameplay has NOTHING noteworthy to mention. Theres this retro 8-bit powerup that has a funny interaction with a Koopa Troopa in World 3 but thats the only entertaining this game does, the boss fights are the easiest of any mario game, the final boss of the game is the easiest one and every enemy is defeated almost exactly the same (You just use Bowser's fire)
The partners are nearly all USELESS apart from the one you get for beating the games post game pit of 100 trials and you know why? Because it actually helps you speed up with this god awful game and help you beat it faster so you can put it back in the box and never touch it again. And this game can be SLOW at times, if not for some unfunny meta humour NPC making you do some dumb quest then definitely some of the level design taking you on literal railroads for 15-20 seconds to sell the "WOAH THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY PAPER" aesthetic, something that the previous game on the GameCube did way too much and something this game does equally as often to absolutely zero laughs or smiles at the quirkiness.
World 1 is bad - You go through this desert and it mostly serves as an introduction to a minor villain in O'chunks who is Bowser's rival
World 2 is actually good - The villain in this one turns into a giant spider and chases you down like Resident Evil 3, the only actual challenging part of the game
World 3 is awful - The meta humour is on point with Bowser being a painfully unfunny joke and the villain is some nerd who kidnaps Tippi because he likes Funko Pops
World 4 is so bad I can't put it into words - The level design is utterly atrocious
I don't remember World 5
Haha I love the little Samurai Dudes!
World 7 is bad - You get Luigi back but its too late in the game for him to do anything actually meaningful
World 8 is also bad - Everywhere looks the exact same because the castle has 1 aesthetic which is black with white outlines, and this game expects you to find gaps in 3D when it looks like this.
I hope after you read this review and if you're on the fence about playing this game that you take the following advice:
Don't.This game sucks.
Tsukihime
2000
He just like me fr