Bio
non-linearity enjoyer, grill-pilled ludo-narratologist

for more info on my rating system consult this
Personal Ratings
1★
5★

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GOTY '23

Participated in the 2023 Game of the Year Event

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Played 500+ games

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Journaled 5+ games in a single day

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GOTY '22

Participated in the 2022 Game of the Year Event

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GOTY '21

Participated in the 2021 Game of the Year Event

N00b

Played 100+ games

Favorite Games

Disco Elysium
Disco Elysium
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Rain World
Rain World
Dark Souls
Dark Souls
Rhythm Heaven Fever
Rhythm Heaven Fever

572

Total Games Played

003

Played in 2024

182

Games Backloggd


Recently Played See More

Rain World
Rain World

Mar 05

Omori
Omori

Jan 25

Fear & Hunger 2: Termina
Fear & Hunger 2: Termina

Jan 04

Fear & Hunger
Fear & Hunger

Dec 30

Deltarune: Chapter 2
Deltarune: Chapter 2

Dec 25

Recently Reviewed See More

no idea why i didn't play this sooner, these games were pretty important to me back in the day and it's a rock-solid conclusion to the series as well. though, plunging back into clementine's world after so many years spent apart did cheer up an otherwise unremarkable birthday - nothing soothes the soul like saying hi to an old friend.

it's possible (guaranteed actually) that i'm being a bit sentimental because of my attachment to this series and to clem's character, because while playing i did feel some reservations about this cinematic choice-driven genre of games that telltale pioneered - as much as i like the series, a lot of it is tied up in my personal view of its themes and characters. it's hard to tell when i'm reading depth into the narrative that's not truly present, or when the game actually accounts for my feelings and choices in a meaningful way. it's hard to tell whether this story being told through branching choices just adds extra fluff that dilutes the storytelling potential by spreading itself thin, or whether it's the whole reason these games are any good at all, by allowing clem's journey to be dictated so personally. i'm really not sure. even if you're satisfied with how the game followed through on your choices, what does it mean that the game offers you that other choice? if the game always feels compelled to craft an interesting and satisfying narrative out of whatever you choose, to what extent can it really assert its themes? this isn't actually too big of an issue because the range of outcomes is never as big as the game ideally wants you to think they are, but that connects to another problem: that is, whether these games take proper advantage of the medium. it feels like at its best you fall for the illusion that contingency is allowed for on a level that meaningfully extends beyond minor interactions, but it's just that, an illusion; once you look behind the curtains and start noticing the seams it's all a little cheapened. part of the problem is how contextual the design is - undertale is pretty railroaded too, but your choices always feel meaningful because they're not actually "choices" at all; the game is just reacting to what you do in gameplay. i know i'm not blowing anyone's mind by saying all that - everyone knows how these games work by now - but still, it leaves me wondering if these would actually be better off if they were just films.

of course, this is all just in that far-off realm of theories and hypotheticals. in truth, the fact that these are games probably accounts for most of the charm. the weird 3d-cartoon aesthetic (which looks great here, btw!), the robotic movements and silly exaggerated expressions that switch on a dime, the contrived ways in which dramatic choices are set up for you, the compulsion to walk around and inspect everything, check every corner, even if it's at complete odds with the tone of the scene. these sure seem like imperfections, but spend enough time with these games and all their little blemishes start to look so very beautiful. why yes, i want to play the dumbest, shallowest QTEs and minigames you can throw at me. why yes, i want to replay 15 god damn minutes because i forgot to check a corner which hid some stupid collectible, or because i misclicked a dialogue option, or because clem just didn't say what it said she would say. bathe me in your lovely acid.

uh oh im doing an anti-intellectualism. idk. i'm not sure what my point here is, actually. kinda just did the writing equivalent of spinning around in a circle until you become dizzy. which i do a lot actually but im better at hiding it usually i think. maybe i just wanted to wax lyrical about liking art even when its foundations are flawed. because its foundations are flawed. i'm not sure where the line is on whether analysis should be descriptive or prescriptive. maybe the bottom line here is just that i have bad taste actually. anyway i wrote too much to throw this in the trash so im just gonna click that post button real quick. here's to regrets

competently made, but never manages more than to replicate some of the surface level charm of undertale. narratively it's a fairly ill-considered sequel, sort of at odds with the original's specific flavor of metafictional logic and fails to contribute anything beyond extraneous detail. the concept of flowey controlling your saves is initially intriguing, but the execution is confused and half-baked. more than anything it really put into perspective for me what a creative and interesting sequel deltarune is.

the game is still worth checking out if you liked undertale's bullet hell combat, though. the genocide run has some fun and very tough bosses - i made it to the last one but got my ass kicked and didn't really care enough to see it through to the end.

This review contains spoilers

this is the way the world ends
this is the way the world ends

i have arrived, at last, at the end of metal gear – and what a strange conclusion it is. a genuinely challenging game, and not in the sense that the gameplay is difficult. who could’ve predicted that this series would go out on such a hollow, lonely, and above all dissonant note?

some wonderful thematic analyses of this game have already been written on this website, and i by and large concur with the game’s defenders – the “phantom pain” is intentional, as plainly evidenced by the game’s title. i love how hollow, confusing, depressingly repetitive and alienating the game is and how those qualities tie into the game’s deliberate abandonment of a traditional “villain arc” for snake, as well as the metatextual sense that the series is running on fumes, well past even the point of self-devouring (mgs4). but the word on this part of mgsv’s storytelling has already been written by people more capable than me (the best piece undoubtedly being caebl201’s review), so i’m not very interested in retreading that ground. likewise, it feels like there are very few original observations left to make about mgsv’s (stellar, series peak) broader mechanics. so instead, i'll settle for making some scattered observations that hopefully bring something a little bit new to the conversation.

- as previously stated, the dominant goal of mgsv seems to be to subvert and alienate by way of anti-climax and liberal blurring of truth and fiction. that said, this doesn’t account for everything that mgsv attempts to do. one of the larger themes of the game, one that seems somewhat disconnected from the above-mentioned aspirations, is the theme of language, which mostly finds its expression in the concept of the infamous “vocal cord parasites”, supposedly the catalysts of our species’ development of language, capable of granting supernatural abilities and being weaponized as language-targetting ethnic cleansers. to put it simply, i find this theme quite underdeveloped (if conceptually fascinating) and struggle to see how it ties into the game’s larger ethos. the most i can muster in terms of a connection is some notion of language’s causal relationship to truth and its subsequent unreliability (the game, after all, quotes nietzsche in the final mission), but this is tenuous at best. the parasites are mostly connected with the characters of skullface and quiet, both of which are extremely and fundamentally ridiculous and whose value to me lies mostly in their playing into the off-putting, anti-climactic feel of the game. skullface’s car monologue and the subsequent sins of the father needle drop is, as noted in caebl201's previously linked review, absolutely hysterical, and quiet’s parasite infection feels like a blatant, contemptibly cynical excuse to make the hot woman side kick scantily clad and unable to express herself. i think it’s a stretch, however, to say that kojima included the theme of language solely as a practical joke when it’s so frequently elaborated on and emphasized, so what we’re left with a major part of the game’s narrative that feels pretty undercooked and silly (the alternative is that i’m stupid and not grasping the true depth and utility of this theme, which is entirely plausible).

- something i really came to like in this game was the absence of traditional boss fights. they're here, but they're treated instead like any other obstacle you're going up against and the battle is crafted around what's fitting for the type of enemy you're fighting and not from the ad hoc perspective of what would create the most intense, empowering gameplay experience. the result is a rogue's gallery that will see you engage in a thrilling sniper-duel against a superpowered assassin, and also put you up against a scary, borderline impervious fire man, where the only recourse seems to be to send an entire water tower crashing onto him before booking it. yeah, you could be honorable and employ cqc against the dipshit kid who wants to fight you... or you could decimate him with stun rounds in no time. the approach is not only refreshing but it allows for both player expression and further identification with venom as an avatar.

- it’s a shame that ground zeroes was sold as a seperate product instead of being more directly integrated into the phantom pain, because it serves a similar role of misdirection that the tanker chapter in mgs2 does. it promises a shocking downward spiral into horror and madness, a grim, self-serious study of big boss’s turn towards villainy, his “one bad day”. and then the actual game consists of a confused, dead-eyed, deferential and borderline mute snake abducting soldiers, banally managing war crime spreadsheets, absent-mindedly taking job offers from anyone willing to pay, fighting battles to build up his army to fight more battles in a cycle that never actually ends, not after the credits, or the last mission on the list, or the “true ending” where you learn that you’re not actually big boss at all.

- the real big boss, as it turns out, had his villain arc off-screen. or did he? when you listen to the truth tapes, and hear him rationalize and go along with not only mentally decimating and enslaving one of his closest comrades, but also using an entire hospital staff as his personal meat shield, not long after waking up from his coma, you realize that his “one bad day” never came – naked snake became the sort of person comfortable with throwing a bunch of people (including personal friends that trust and rely on him) to the meat grinder gradually, over a prolonged period of time, through events you tagged along with, and it all happened before this game even begins.

- i think sutherland deserves more credit than he gets for his performance in this game - his big boss is as gruff as he is charming, but venom is perpetually half-bored, confused, aimless, glum, and speaks with a sort of dazed, lethargic cadence, as if sleepwalking through life. this soulless performance totally distinguishes the two characters, despite them sounding and looking identical, which i think is a pretty damn impressive feat. that said, the few moments of genuine emotion that venom gets, sutherland totally sells – more, i suspect, than hayter ever could (no disrespect to him, though, i think he was great in mgs4)

- in a game where so much of the storytelling feels like an elaborate joke at the player’s expense, what maybe surprised me most is that it contained what i consider to be kojima’s most successful dramatic payoff, something that affected me far more emotionally than mgs3’s ending. and what’s more, it’s through probably kojima’s most ridiculous, tasteless character yet: quiet. but the scene where she guides pequod through the sandstorm is elegant in a way that kojima’s attempts at drama very rarely are – it’s not a monologue, it’s not a lengthy exposition dump, it’s not histrionic, affected melodrama; it’s just an earnest, somber expression of love and sacrifice through action. that it managed to make me forget what is probably the worst mission in the game preceding it is a testament to its genuine quality.

- kojima is a man, above all, of Big Concepts, and i think his decision to cap off the series by way of ouroboros, with snake eating his own tail (or phantom) – is one for the books. metal gear will never be game over. i'm stiiiiiiilll in a dreeeeeeaaam....