23 reviews liked by bateater


My childhood friend, my savior my king, I'll put you on a pedestal any day, you are my one and only best sonic game

I got an achievement for reloading my gun 69 times and I decided the game was too Reddit for me so I closed out of the game immediately and uninstalled it. I understand why En likes this game so much now

Obviously extremely rushed and flawed game, but the character controller and basic combat is perfect. Fun to speedrun. Get the save file that lets you play with the retro skin

this game has "now lying" instead "now loading" in its loading screens and i think that gives you an idea of what sort of game this is

overbrightened the visuals, and has tacky gradient lighting in spots. the original ps2 version has a great muted-yet-colorful look going on with all of its soft mid-tones. i also hate the weird revisionist-history mascotified redesign of the prince that has bled over to merch. its a shame that this is the only rerelease of this game--and i'm surprised no one has done a "original game restoration mod" in the same way that sonic adventure 1 and 2 have

It must be really sad to be a filthy gringo and think this is based on OutRun and not on Top Gear.

Was a great and fun Foddy-like game, was a short and sweet game jam game, was real satisfying to master the controls.

The only part I think could use some work was the trap door section as it was a bit unresponsive when allowing you to get your 2nd jump but otherwise you can find a way to get past it.

embarrassingly bad story campagin with some of the cheapest looking attack animations i've seen in a fighting game and oh yeah music sucks too

If you're under the impression of this game being an action title masquerading as a cover shooter, then let me break it to you, it's not an action game by any stretch of the imagination, it is simply a repetitive and extremely flawed movement focused cover shooter with a mind-numbingly boring gameplay loop. Even as a shooter this game has very little entertainment value as it is loaded with meat sponge boss fights that require 0 strategy to take down and can be extremely tedious in the hardest difficulty while also offering little to no actual enemy variety in the mob department. And on top of all that the game is plagued by god awful pacing where you sometimes watch cutscenes that are straight up longer than the actual gameplay segments and the narrative being non-existent with nothing but corny dialogues does not help its cause. Visuals and Music are quite samey and forgettable too which is fitting since the entire game is just that "forgettable"

It's amazing how much you can get done with just a little bit of unconventionality, isn't it? Killer7 dares to take the mere act of walking from one place to another and render it unrecognizable. What's usually a two-stick process is now mapped almost entirely to the "A" button, denying the player control over both the camera and the path your character takes. This game's tutorial mission scrambled my brain- not because walking is at all complicated, but because it's such a radically different approach from everything else I've played that I couldn't comprehend it at first. Hardly ever being responsible for the direction that your Smith goes in makes it that much more difficult to create a mental map of the area, even when frequently consulting the actual in-game map. Trying to decipher spacial layouts in Killer7 is as tricky as trying to decipher the game's overarching plot, and I often found myself stopping to take aim when there weren't any enemies around just for a more orthodox camera perspective. And, clearly, this was a deliberate trap. In the collective mind of the Smith syndicate, the world only makes sense when viewed through the scope of a rifle, a detail that's communicated entirely through gameplay and embellished through audiovisuals. The simple geometry and basic color gradients of every environment seem to mock you, claiming that they're not as complicated as you think they are, and the haunting laugh of every Heaven's Smile adds that extra bit of disorientation. Given how effective this one facet of the game is, then, it's such a shame that the rest of it is just so conventional. I shoot enemies in their glowing weak spots. I solve puzzles that I'm given the answers to. I'm never tasked with managing the mutual vitality of the Killer7, nor do I even choose my Smith based on the situation that I find myself in. Conforming to the standard structure of ending most levels with a boss battle is the most poorly considered of these decisions, as the lack of any mobility whatsoever means they're all simultaneously painful yet far too easy. The one exception is Andrei Ulmeyda, who represents an exciting chase through an arena that was actually built to take advantage of how moving around works. Ulmeyda Intercity, in general, seems to have been lifted from a much more cleverly designed game, mainly due to how it reevaluates how horror should operate in the context of Killer7. It's pretty unconventional for a game's scariest level to be its least confined, isn't it? Unfortunately, this game isn't all that weird, despite how desperately it wants to convince you otherwise. Samantha, for instance, abstractly transitions between various erotic fantasies and/or stages of adolescence whenever you see her, and only allows you to save your game when she's an adult-slash-French-maid. Leaving such a vital part of the game to an unreliable character is a stroke of genius, especially when you consider how much of a relief finally reaching a safe zone in a stressful game can end up being, but it's all rendered pointless by the fact that the map tells you where you can and can't save, allowing you to ignore Samantha's whims entirely while planning your path. But, I suspect, fans of this game will consider any non-thematic analysis of Killer7 to be equally pointless. I won't pretend to be smart enough to fully get what Suda is ultimately grasping at, though I will say that fate and control are far and away some of the least interesting themes for video games to cover, even back in 2005. Nor will I pretend to care all that much- thematically rich or not, the game's still boring, and in my eyes, anything that demands a deeper look is obligated to contain more replay value, not less. I've almost certainly only been made dumber by the amount of times I've heard Leon S. Kennedy's corny one-liners, but I'm not sure if I'll ever return to this (according to Suda acolytes) incredibly intellectually rewarding work. For better or worse, I no longer get that DS feeling...