Harrowing look into what its like to spend a day in Italy.

I tried everything to make big chungus. The furthest I got was “Dead bugs bunny” and “Pork milf” after an hour of playing. Unplayable.

Makoto doesn’t look like a smelly little grimy sludge weasel anymore this remake sucks

You know, its funny. When I first told a friend of mine that I was gonna play Persona 3 on an emulator he told me to install a mod that adds controllable party members. I get why this mod exists and will be the definitive way that most people approach Persona 3’s gameplay, but the Tactics system acts as a summary to one of the game’s greatest strengths: treating it’s characters like people. You play the part of a commander that prescribes a general flow of battle rather than some far-off omnipotent being that extends its will over your party members, who learn to cherish each other and work harder together (symbolised by gaining new tactics after a full-moon mission). SEES wasn’t exactly the closest group of friends nor did they amazing chemistry with eachother, but they have been the only Persona party members to feel like a team of authentic, real people. Characters won’t develop in single, one-off “chunks” only to never really be relevant again, instead oftentimes have intricate and multifaceted arcs that occur naturally over the course of the game. They sometimes get tired and have to take a few days off, or need to take exams, or grieve the death of someone who you (the protagonist) never got to know well and will be subsequently unable to visit Tartarus.

It’s certainly unconventional, but the Tactics system and the many other small instances of micromanagement teaches the player to make the most of their time with the people they love while they still have it. No Persona game comes close to tying it’s themes into the gameplay so effortlessly and as a result Persona 3 is easily my favourite game from what I’ve played of the series and has quickly become one of my favourite games of all time. It’s just completely authentic. Engaging with it’s source material in a multitude of complex but with earnest, deeply human sensibilities. I don’t think I’ll ever play something like P3 ever again.

This game was probably running bitcoin mining programs on my console.

Palworld despite the myriad of “influences” (to put it kindly) most of the time feels completely uninspired. Each Pal looks like an AI-generated Temtem reject and the gameplay is derivative of every other survival/factory title (such as Ark). Environments don’t look appealing in terms of texture quality or art design and the game’s performance is mixed (On Xbox). Not exceptionally buggy or glitchy to be hilariously bad but never performing well to be a convenient or well optimised experience. Play it if you think legally distinct Pokemon slavery sounds appealing and have a gamepass membership because it’s not worth the $30 or time that’s probably used to fund a mass orangutang extermination project in Borneo.

It’s just slop. Slop that hilariously has a higher all time player peak than Starfield on Steam but its still completely dull, flavourless slop.

I don’t really care about a fast paced racing game that hates you for going fast. Easily my least favourite of the three new modes added. This is probably the first game I’ve ever played to make me feel bad about fans of an entirely separate game, though.

2018

Undoubtedly very pretty but failed to move me emotionally in any way. Maybe I just didn’t get it. Greasy game.

If Chrono Trigger was the most exhilarating roller coaster at the SNES RPG theme park, then Sea of Stars feels like a bumpy (albeit gorgeous) car ride, with cardboard cutouts standing at each side of the road to remind you that this is indeed a throwback videogame. The facade breaks early on though, to remind you that it only has a paper-thin understanding of what made those classic RPGs so revered in the first place. Sea of Stars regrettably lacks depth within its story, writing, and gameplay and therefore feels wholly artificial in areas that aren’t its visuals or sound (a feeling accentuated by the meme-y dialogue that instantly dated the game and the pirate character who speaks in JRPG tropes). The lack of any real stuff to do within the towns (of which there are maybe 5 real towns) and a repetitive “go meet [guy] so you can get this [magic item]” style plot makes the world feel like simple a vehicle for the hilariously underbaked characters (with one notable exception) to go on a RPG quest until it’s jarringly anticlimactic ending.

On a positive note, the presentation of Sea of Stars is stellar. The different food items have detailed art in the cooking menu, the environments and world map are all gorgeous and the music is consistently pleasant. Each island has a different room for the overworld camping and the main menu screen changes depending on where you are in the game. There are some ingredients for a great videogame present in Sea of Stars but overtime the repetition began to take its toll on me. I’ve brought up an issue I had with the plot structure but the gameplay never evolves because the best strategy for every boss encounter stays the exact same. One of the 4th party member’s skills is to delay the turn order of a single enemy, which can be further delayed with one of the 5th party member’s combos and their ultimate (which makes other ultimates completely redundant as it deals roughly the same amount of damage while healing the entire party and delaying the turns of the entire enemy field by 3). You rarely have to switch this up and it is almost always the easiest and most rewarding way through enemy/boss encounters. Not to mention that these skills/combos are among the easiest to time, removing the “risk” factor of other middling skills while still being rewarded heavily. The enemy positions system from Chrono Trigger just doesn’t work with the timing mechanics from Super Mario RPG, either. There isn’t a sense of improving one’s usage of a skill over the course of the game like with the Super Jump from SMRPG, because the timing is dictated by how close/far you are from the enemy, so it’s easier to just do a regular attack sometimes or use one of the character’s other skills. The Devs lift mechanics from other games (something I’m not against) but failed to understand how those same mechanics were so successful, further reinforcing how SoS just felt so shallow.

I really did want to like Sea of Stars. I love all of its influences and I even enjoyed The Messenger (the dev’s other game) but it just never reaches the highs I really think it could have. I hope these devs have another shot at an RPG at some point but I really REALLY do wish that they push themselves just that bit further to smooth out the rough edges. The individual parts of the game could be so much better with a little development, but SoS is complacent in how underwhelming everything feels. Sea of Stars teeters on the edge of greatness, but just misses the mark in so many areas.

It’s like The Godfather but for videogames.

The atmosphere is oppressive, the demons are more hellish than ever and the shifting architecture creates dynamic labyrinths which strike the perfect balance between stress and excitement, but I feel as if we’ve taken a step back from Doom 2. Doom 64 is felt like a standard doom game, fun and all in short bursts, but I didn’t find it all that interesting.

Definitely a case of “it didn’t do it for me” rather than a genuinely mediocre videogame. The moody ambient soundtrack is definitely well made but that combined with the somewhat samey feeling levels it made the whole experience blend together. I don’t think I could pinpoint any distinct levels from 64 but I could definitely with doom 1 and 2. The Unmaker is a fine new weapon with a cool gimmick but idk I’ve just come to expect a bit more from doom. It just never really switches it up enough like 2 did, which would throw unique level after unique level at the player. I certainly didn’t leave doom 64 feeling unsatisfied, but I never left feeling all too fulfilled.

TL:DR, pretty decent, just not for me. Maybe I’ll like it more in the future.

Both a “parody” game of the boomer-shooter genre and an earnest spin-off/sequel to Hypnospace Outlaw (a game which I adore), it’s miraculous how it’s funny, genuinely enjoyable and inventive, as well as successful in translating the themes of Hynospace.

I think what made Hypnospace so special was how so much detail was put into each and every one of the characters. Humanity is woven deep into practically every user in Hypnospace, who, on the surface, could be an old guy who likes bikes and is bad at Facebook, or an all-encompassing stereotype of every “edgy” 14 year old (now 15, his username hasn’t updated yet) that adores an in-universe cheesy emo rock band. Zane is (or was) an asshole: infamously recognised across teentopia as a tryhard cyberbully who’s loathed so much people create gifs of his avatar getting punched in the face. Although in Slayers X (and partially in Hypnospace) you can get the idea that beneath the surface he laments his upbringing to a degree, and has a genuine connection to his mother (who for the most part was presumably the only constant relationship he had throughout his life). A detail that stuck out to me was the area modelled after Zane’s childhood apartment, where his mother sleeps on a pull-out sofa so Zane can have his own bed. Even in the narration of the bonus levels you can generally ascertain that he had a turbulent upbringing, (such as when you visiting the Idaho Housing Association, Zane makes a remark about going there frequently) but also positively reflects on the more pleasant experiences in his life (fun childhood memories making videogame levels shaped like his favourite band member or visiting his uncle’s house). The game is a hilariously pathetic, self-aggrandising ego trip for a 16 year old who doesn’t have much else going on in life, but still manages to be somewhat pitiful because of the finer details Zane subconsciously creates and seemingly glosses over. Slayers X at times feels like evaluative piece about a nonexistent human’s psyche, but it always feels believable. It captures the brilliant duality of the hypnospace characters magnificently.

It helps that this game is actually well designed too. Levels are expansive without being confusing to navigate. They’re both hilarious and unique each time (An “Idaho potato festival”, a trailer park, a “snobby rich people” place etc). Moment-to-moment gameplay is fun (although I’m not a huge fan of how the dual pistols handle, and I think the wolf enemies take a bit too much damage before going down), with the particular highlights being the Rocket launcher and Glass shotgun, which feel punchy and are always my go to for a lot of encounters. The Glass shotgun is a surprisingly innovative idea which happens to be very fun in practice, and acts as an incentive to be mindful of the immediate area in each level. I love all of the intentionally-unintentional deadpan voicelines, the crude enemy designs and item names (glass shard being renamed to “glass shart”), smaller side gags like the friendly psykos in the first level or one that has been crushed by a door in the aforementioned trailer park level. I think wayyy to many devs think that because a game is trying to be “funny” or “a parody” it can afford to be bad “for the lols” when in reality you can have a game that’s both funny and is fun to play (I do wonder what “funny” bad crass modern shooter about sludge and goop I could possibly be referring to right now!)

To close this off, I think Hypnospace Oulaw is one of the best indies of the last 5 years that I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing, and Slayers X is an excellent companion piece as well as a fun game on its own. I’m eagerly anticipating dreamsettlers and anything else Jay Tholen and the team create. Slayers X is a very sincere experience (even with all the literal shit) that loves its genre, loves its source material, and loves you too.

THIS GAME NEEDS A HERO!!! IT NEEDS…

me running from child support be like 🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂🥲🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣