241 Reviews liked by illyasviel


Katamari games are probably the only games made out of pure love. And this one is the one that seems like it exudes the most love of all.

by far the best megaten game. most human and likable cast of any jrpg that i've ever played. great battle system, and an insanely addictive gameplay flow in spite of how repetitive tartarus is

Get the hell out of here with your fake game design PhDs, this is the peak of gaming.

improves on the first game by having a greater variety of stages and being longer in general. play it

plays and looks even worse than the first game by some incredible feat. you get to bully bird though. so there's that

One of the greatest voice lines in all of video games. I needed it for myself. Dumped 200 rolls on Mika's banner the other day. Mika's cute and all, and the 6% rate was tantalizing, but what I was really chasing was that heat. Even with so much saved, it was still a 0.3% rate. Fate/GO players shot for the stars with more, and died in disgrace for less. It was a steep price to pay for missing the train back in January. I wasn't a believer then, but half a year of Twitter art forces a man to acknowledge the sheer strength Blue Archive commandeered as the head honcho of the cute and funny genre. Come April, I knew what I had to do. I installed, started grinding, and bided my time until the fated day would come. Ohhh I waited. Banners came and went, and my gem stock slowly grew. They called me a fool for skipping Himari. But there is no virtue chasing higher ranks in a future without Summer Hoshino. Days became weeks. Weeks became months.
Until Judgement Day. 7/25. The red carpet was rolled out for Mika. Fanfare, Twitter campaigns, displays, advertisements. She had it all. Even Arona Hot Dog was there. But I was only concerned about my pink, 0.3% prize. I only had a 45% chance to get her. I had nothing else but hopes and prayers; I prostrated before the numbers, completely at the mercy of a coin flip. And it flipped.
It was a silly little thing. One moment I didn't have her, and then in the next, I did. 70 pulls in. It's an unbelievable feeling, to entrust the culmination of several months of dreams on a dice roll, and win. At that time, at that place, for a fleeting moment, through no power of mine, the whims of reality and my wordly desires were one and the same. With no rhyme or reason, the Mandate of Heaven bestowed upon me Hoshino. Don't you see what this means? I walked the path forged by the stars, and it was written in indelible celestial text that Victory was my lot.
Anyway +3 stars for Ui, she's my favorite.

This review contains spoilers

"i'd rape the raper"
~brian hugh warner (1996)
after a grueling battle with ladle man, a terrifying encounter with scream man and the incredibly shocking reveal that the queen of the castle was actually a lesbian rapist herself, i can see why this series is held to the same standards as the most revered philosophical literature
bonus points for the translation - i really started to feel like rance when he fucked someone so hard she started spouting programming language and speaking in japanese

As true a horror game as anything else, really, with a focus on restricting the player's willingness to take action instead of their ability. You certainly can shoot at anything that moves, but success in SWAT 4 is highly dependent on not pulling that trigger when frightened. Enemies in later levels have guns that kill you faster, but the real threat is the paranoia: wandering in near silence, knowing that your time to correctly assess each situation is shorter than ever as the door in front of you suddenly opens, a gun pokes through and you shoot your co-op partner in the head because you didn't realize they had wandered off.
It's the best survival horror of 2005 genuinely a masterpiece, forcing you to meticulously comb through environments where you feel completely foreign, limited to being the second invader on scene in the best of scenarios. The constant pressure to remain vigilant punishes video game instincts you may have acquired elsewhere, where an impulse to shoot for the head can turn an "unauthorized use of force" into "killed a hostage". The praise might sound silly, but all these mechanics only become praiseworthy due to the work done to create atmosphere - it's incredible that you can skip every single briefing in the game and still come away with vivid memories of each level. Trudge slowly through the dark, combing each inch of a hostile environment for evidence as distant, sprinting footsteps remind you how far you are from establishing control.
As much as I'd like to conclude it there, it's a little hard to talk about this game now without considering the existence of Ready or Not, a spiritual successor that modernizes and blends the core SWAT 4 experience with its expansion and several popular mods. I can easily recommend Ready or Not if you just want easy co-op, but taken as a whole I still find SWAT 4 to be the more compelling experience. In moment-to-moment gameplay, Ready or Not skews a little closer towards traditional shooters than I'd like. SWAT 4's guns never feel fully accurate, the player always feels fragile, and each level feels like it existed before you loaded in - Ready or Not misses the mark on each of these, and has a markedly different mood as a result. Try SWAT 4, mod it if you have to, and see if this style of game is your speed. If you like the core gameplay and want more (or you find yourself frustrated by a lack of QOL features / non-Hamachi multiplayer) then it may be worth picking up Ready or Not, but I'd read up on the changes first.

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