TAPE A

" What's up gamer nation my name is Pogan Laul.
Today marks 3024000 seconds since Australia's prime minister shat himself at a public McDonalds.

Insert long and boring speech here that lasts 5 minutes and say nothing of value.

In other news Canada's anthem sounds like a Deltarune song (Scooby Doo's Rehehehe sfx starts playing)
Goodnight tri state area, do the Harlem Shake. "

END OF TAPE A