My friends who’ve heard me talk about this game are going to think this score is nuts. I’ve told everyone how much I love this game. I’ve gushed about this game. I’ve made gifsets and fanart. I’m going to replay it 500 times and make a gazillion player characters. I really, truly love it, and there’s so MUCH to love. The scope, the ambition, the responsiveness of the world and the characters. I love the world and the stories, the way nearly every quest has a million ways you can sneak through or around it. I love the breadth of characters and all of their arcs. I love the recurring theme of how revenge rarely feels as liberatory as you want it to and yet sometimes it still has to be done. I love the themes of autonomy and losing it and taking it back. I love how the characters can grow and change even when you don’t outright convince them. I love how the game looks and the art direction and the lighting. It also drives me fucking nuts. And it’s not even (entirely) the game’s fault.

To be clear, there are, genuinely, things wrong with the game in and of itself. It’s buggy in places — Act 3 especially — and every fix or patch adds three new bugs for every one it removes. Wyll’s arc is short-changed in a way that’s hard not to see as antiblackness. The turn-based combat means that every encounter with more than five or so enemies ends up being slow as sin, and there’s no meaningful attempt by the game to circumvent this issue. Moving through the world out of combat never feels bad, but it never feels awesome, either. Some of the side characters who are from older games are characterized completely differently and often contradictoraly from their old appearances, which is bound to piss off old fans. But, honestly, all of these issues on their own would still have me slapping a 4.5 or even a 5 on this game and moving along, because it really is still GREAT.

No, the real issue is the fandom. They’re insufferable. When they’re not making petitions to add new romances (always with men, incidentally!) or having meltdowns because a writer dared to say that continuing the cycle of abuse was a bad end, they’re trying to dox the devs so they can get new Rolan (another man!) content added. “Rain,” I hear you say, “That’s not fair. You can’t punish the game for the fandom.” That’s true! I’m not out here badly rating Sonic or Dragon Age games just because those fandoms need to be nuked from orbit. The problem here is that Larian fucking worships the fandom. They’re making changes to arcs and endings and characters on patch 900-whatever to appease the fandom! Lae’zel is too mean? Oh, okay, we’ll make her nicer! This ending is too sad? Oh, okay, we’ll soften it! You think Gortash is really sexy? We’ll borrow fan conent to add new stuff for him! (Were those fans PAID? CREDITED?) To be clear, on an objective level I LIKE some of the changes they’ve made. But I don’t WANT to play “Larian’s game but filtered through the lens of what I personally like,” I want to play “Larian’s game and Larian’s story.”

The lack of willingness in the gaming world right now to create games that don’t cater to the player, where the devs and the writers tell the story they aim to tell and build the mechanics they want to use and STICK TO THAT VISION, even if it adds friction or some gamers won’t like it or some fans complain drives me insane. I don’t want something that appeals to everyone, I want something specific and real. The idea that some fucker got mad because Larian dared to make a character that didn’t worship the player immediately and Larian bowed down and caved to the shit makes me want to blow up. STICK TO YOUR VISION AND YOUR STORY, PUSSIES! I’m about to get mad about the ME3 ending shit again good god.

It’s just such a frustrating encapsulation of everything wrong with gaming right now and how fandoms have too much power and too little imagination, and it breaks my heart how much it’s soured my stomach on a game I do genuinely adore. It’s so good where it’s good! It’s goddamn perfect! The love from the team is dripping out of every pore. But it’s impossible to look past the fact that the game that exists now is a different game than the one that was initially released, with different characters, because some people on the team felt that compromising their artistic vision was worth it if it’d make some fandom rando happier.

I still adore this game and, genuinely, if you love RPGs or the like this really should be a must-play. It’s a joy, genuinely. Its scope and ambition are second to none, and I have to cheer that on (particularly given how every other big studio is playing shit so safe right now) even when it doesn’t stick the landing. I love my gang of bisexual war criminals. Despite the tone of this review, I even love Larian; the next Big Game I plan on starting is Divinity: Original Sin 2 entirely because I love this game and Larian’s work on it so much. It’s such a wonderful piece of art. I hope the next one they make will be one with choices they have the guts to stick to.

i'm not done with it yet but understand now that I'm loving tf out of this
harley you will be getting a virtual dap for this

edit 03/02: finally done with the game, uh. I don't even know what to say I'm just so... baffled.

This is the ritual to lead you on.

elster's journey is similar to my own

except im human
and i'm not a robot
and i'm not in space
and not in a relationship at all
and on top of all of this I'm a he/they black man from chicago

but we're basically the same

The praise this game gets confuses me. Breath of the Wild itself was nothing particularly earthshattering, and this game is just Breath of the Wild again. The problem is that what made BOTW novel is not anymore. We've seen this type of expansive open world before. It's not impressive anymore.

Of course, more land was added, but what was added is half as much of what was worth exploring in BOTW. The skylands mostly exist for dungeons and chests, nothing more or less. There isn't enough landmass up there aside from the tutorial zone for it to feel like a whole new second map. The underground zone too is stagnant, introducing an annoying gimmick with an intense difficulty spike that makes exploring it a pain.

I understand that the new building system is technically impressive. I'm a game designer, I see this. However, just because something is impressive does not make it good. The fusing system itself does allow for a bunch of interesting puzzles, but it's the same gimmick reused for every single puzzle. Eventually, this mechanic too has its novelty wear off, and unless you have a degree in engineering or loved Banjo Kazooie Nuts 'n' Bolts too much, you won't be getting a lot out of it. Yes, it is impressive what it can do and that it functions at all, and the possibilities available to players is commendable. It is a feat in design that a lot of these puzzles have more than one solution. Yet the game does not force you to create anything super outside the box. While I said most puzzles have more than one solution, it is made very clear that there is 1 "right" way and every other solution is a player either a: intentionally breaking the game or b: not understanding the signs. Nowhere are you challenged to make an army of inter-continental strike drones. You can, and those who know how will, but this will never cross the mind of the average player. Had this game pushed the bounds of what this system could do perhaps I could find more praise for it. But they don't, it exists as simply a gimmick to justify the long development time and to show off a shiny new tech thing.

With this games announcement we were promised a much heavier story focus. We got slightly more story than BOTW. What we got was quite decent honestly, but it was the same egghunt from before to find all these things. This time, you just couldn't skip the intro story segment. What they gave us simply didn't carry the weight it should.

The intense amount of continuity errors are annoying too. The game hints to why this may be, but it simply does not make sense. This game likes the idea of being a direct sequel while also being too caught up in trying to rewrite it's own history. Where are the Divine Beasts? Where are the Guardians? Where is the fucking Shrine of Resurrection? Things vital to BOTW have vanished without a trace and the game refuses to explain itself. It should have, anyone who played BOTW would have noticed all of this immediately. There needs to be a reason for the sudden disappearance, and I sure would have liked to see it totally explained than just hoping I will take "time travel shenanigans" as an answer.

Tears of the Kingdom looks at what Breath of the Wild did well and misunderstands why it did well. The open world was good because it was so vast and nothing like any game had had before. Now, we have the same open world with minor variance, causing less desire to explore, and the marvel of such a vast world is now lost since it was done before. Of course, following up something like BOTW would prove to be a monolithic task regardless. Instead of improving the things BOTW did wrong, like the dungeons and puzzles, to try and succeed it's predecessor, it simply creates new things that solve nothing. Tears of the Kingdom prays its rehashed world with new zones will be enough to entice the player for the same hundreds of hours we all dumped into BOTW.

This game will forever be shadowed by it's predecessor. Not because the task was too big, but because they did not focus on the right things. Perhaps if Breath of the Wild never released, this game would be far better. Instead, it is a expansion in disguise as a $70 videogame. Shameless.

Just like Polyphia, just because something is hard to do does not immediately justify a perfect score. In a vacuum, the new system is very good, but the game simply does not allow for it to be as good as it can be, and in an attempt to perfect this feat in physics engineering and simulation, Nintendo seemingly forgot about the other aspects that make a Zelda game a Zelda game.

Balatro cracks the code of what a good, simple, and addictive video game should be. I've already lost more hours to this in the span of a few days than I care to admit, and I'm sure to spend many more collecting all 150 Jokers to complete my Jokerdex. That isn't even a joke.

If I could file one minor complaint, it's that Balatro isn't the greatest at explaining the finer nuances of its design; you're bound to lose a few runs in frustrating fashion while learning the ropes. One particular confusing element is that there are three separate facets of the game that all use the term "hand" - the number of hands you can play per round, your current hand of cards, and the hands of poker you score with. So when I came across a blind that said "You can only play one hand" I mistakenly assumed it meant "one type of hand" (ie full house, two pairs, etc.) and not "You get one hand to play, beat the score or lose the whole run." It's a minor frustration to be sure but one that could be mitigated with a little more clarity.

Now someone please make this game but with mahjong instead of poker and I can die a happy man.

Within the first ten minutes of this game I thought wow, this is gonna break my top 10, which is kind of insane. I think that was 60% 'right game right time' and 40% the game itself.

The real strengths of this game are the voice acting, story and pacing. The writing is incredibly compelling and the drip feeding of story works really well, just enough at each interval. I've seen some critique that the levels were a little repetitive, I can see why but didn't find this myself (maybe another case of right game right time).

My main issues with the game were the lack of difficulty progression throughout the game and the ending itself. I know you can change the difficulty (to an intense degree) but there seemed to be no development of difficulty once you'd started which was frustrating as the last few levels didn't really build to the ending. The ending itself was a little lacking for me, perhaps that was intended.

Ultimately a solid 4* from me but I diagnose a highly probable case of timing. Definitely worth playing, maybe when you're going through something.

The game really felt like it was lacking in a lot of crucial ways. It feels like a mediocre attempt at making Disco Elysium for weebs or something. The writing really didn't stand out much and offered very little outside of the murder mystery plot that was obviously at the forefront. This just makes the game have almost no effect on me and makes it hard to connect with the characters and the story itself.

The visual style is also quite rough. It doesn't look very good from a graphical standpoint. When you look at the assets in the game, they just don't blend together at all and look quite flat. Quite the contrast when you compare this to the way all the characters look. Some have interesting designs, while others look downright silly. I liked Witness, Akiko and One Last Kiss at least.

The way it blends the open world formula with the visual novel style of storytelling is also quite strange, but I did like this aspect. Having to actively go out and find clues yourself and talk to people in a non-linear order was enjoyable. The platforming did not feel good at all though. It's hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself, but you can't really move your character after you jump, which gives off this weird and often times frustrating lack of free movement, as it makes just climbing over small obstacles and walls annoying.

Also, I wish every open world game had this: a feature that lets you see all the collectibles. This game still has some of that annoying open world feature where collectibles are in the game to give it a longer lifespan, but a lot of the ones in this game actually have a purpose, sometimes giving you extra story elements and lore.