King James Bible For Use on Game Boy was published by Wisdom Tree in 1994. Like Wisdom Tree's other console and handheld releases, the title was never officially licensed, and thus neither supported by Nintendo nor sold through traditional shopping channels. As the title suggests, the bulk of the program is a digital copy of the King James edition of the Holy Bible, though it also includes some Bible-themed games.
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Weird plot
Quite impressive that they fit all this onto a game boy cartridge. Excellent content. Truly a life changing experience if you meet it halfway.
Kinda mid tbh? I dropped it around where Joshua got to the promised land and while I've skimmed some parts of the new testament arc and it's clearly an improvement in writing and philosophy, the early parts are just too much of a slog to stomach for a required understanding of what's to come.
I'd read Muramasa any day over this.
I'd read Muramasa any day over this.
I'm not going to give a rating to the Bible itself, but I am just absolutely amazed that this exists.
It's one thing for this to exist, now, with handheld consoles having larger screens and higher resolutions, with the ability to add animations....
Also shout out to the Bible Shepherd mini game which is totally not Hang Man but with sheep that escape a fence every time you guess a wrong letter.
2/5 because it's bizarre and funny that it's real, but I can't imagine ANYONE has actually read more than a few pages of The Bible in this way. This is impractical, and honestly confusing how anyone thought this was a good idea. Maybe for the search feature? But surely there were still better ways to do this, right? It was 1995, not 1950.
And come on. Not even the New King James?
It's one thing for this to exist, now, with handheld consoles having larger screens and higher resolutions, with the ability to add animations....
Also shout out to the Bible Shepherd mini game which is totally not Hang Man but with sheep that escape a fence every time you guess a wrong letter.
2/5 because it's bizarre and funny that it's real, but I can't imagine ANYONE has actually read more than a few pages of The Bible in this way. This is impractical, and honestly confusing how anyone thought this was a good idea. Maybe for the search feature? But surely there were still better ways to do this, right? It was 1995, not 1950.
And come on. Not even the New King James?
Review of the Bible (chapter by chapter):
Genesis 1: Amazing introduction for world building. Extremely iconic lines. 10/10
Genesis 2: More worldbuilding. Good Adam and Eve introduction. 7.5/10
Genesis 3: The twist! So good! Possibly the most iconic twist in literature! 10/10
Genesis 4: More character building and family explanation. 7/10
Genesis 5: Kinda excessive and repetitive but I understand what they were trying to explain. 6/10
Genesis 6: Good buildup to the next chapter. Noah is my favorite character so far. 7/10
Genesis 7: Insane! This book is going by so fast! Sad that the rest of Adam and Eve’s children had to die but whatever fuck them. 10/10
Genesis 8: it’s ok. I understand that it’s a bridge chapter but it’s a little long and drawn out. 5/10
Genesis 9: Really good chapter. Drags a bit near the end but I like the idea that Noah and his family have learned the rights and wrongs of their ancestors and are going to grow from that. Also Jesus Christ why is everyone living extremely long lives. That would be torture to live for 1000 years. 9/10
Genesis 10: it’s an alright chapter. A lot more worldbuilding is going on here. They definitely are adding a ton more characters. It’s getting a bit too grand for my tastes. I think that half of these characters aren’t going to go anywhere. I see that they are trying to say that a ton of time has passed since the flood until the next huge moment but I don’t think they have to tell every single person who was born. Oh well. 7/10
Genesis 11: I like the first half where God decides to make communication a lot harder. A little mean but oh well. The second half is basically what we’ve seen before in Chapter 5. 7.5/10
Genesis 12: This was a bit confusing. The fast pace hurts this chapter. They go through a lot that it’s tricky to take in. But I like this Abram character. 8/10
Genesis 13: decent chapter. I enjoy how it’s setting up this city and Abram’s movement. 7.5/10
Genesis 14: This is beginning to be quite a violent story. Still way too fast paced though. I do like the suspense that is building up here. 7/10
Genesis 15: This is definitely the most interesting chapter yet. Abram is in this problematic point in the first half but the second half’s wording is quite confusing. I had to look up what’s going on and that is some plan alright. 7.5/10
Genesis 16: I’m not a fan of this. Is it truly alright that the Egyptian mistress, Hagar, should be the one to bore Abram his successor? It doesn’t make sense that Ishmeal would be Abram’s legitimate successor. I don’t know the word for this but I think that “Concubinage” is close enough. 5.5/10
Genesis 17: Alright there is a lot to unpack here. Abram is now Abraham which is a pretty cool name change if I do say so myself. Verse 10 says all men shall be circumcised which sounds like a major issue for people joining Abraham’s movement going forward in the future due to its pain. Verse 16 explains that Abraham’s wife (now Sarah, not Sarai) will be blessed and have a child. So Abraham now has a legitimate successor, however, this could lead to issues and drama with Hagar. But Ishmael is still part of Abraham’s covenant though. Interesting. And everyone gets circumcised after that talk. 8/10
Genesis 18: Two things to unpack. One, Sarah doesn’t believe that God could bring her a child. Odd that she doesn’t believe him. Second, God will not harm Sodom even if righteous people continue to exist there. Basically, the righteous should not die with the wicked. I liked that a lot. 8/10
To be continued… (will be updated daily)
Genesis 1: Amazing introduction for world building. Extremely iconic lines. 10/10
Genesis 2: More worldbuilding. Good Adam and Eve introduction. 7.5/10
Genesis 3: The twist! So good! Possibly the most iconic twist in literature! 10/10
Genesis 4: More character building and family explanation. 7/10
Genesis 5: Kinda excessive and repetitive but I understand what they were trying to explain. 6/10
Genesis 6: Good buildup to the next chapter. Noah is my favorite character so far. 7/10
Genesis 7: Insane! This book is going by so fast! Sad that the rest of Adam and Eve’s children had to die but whatever fuck them. 10/10
Genesis 8: it’s ok. I understand that it’s a bridge chapter but it’s a little long and drawn out. 5/10
Genesis 9: Really good chapter. Drags a bit near the end but I like the idea that Noah and his family have learned the rights and wrongs of their ancestors and are going to grow from that. Also Jesus Christ why is everyone living extremely long lives. That would be torture to live for 1000 years. 9/10
Genesis 10: it’s an alright chapter. A lot more worldbuilding is going on here. They definitely are adding a ton more characters. It’s getting a bit too grand for my tastes. I think that half of these characters aren’t going to go anywhere. I see that they are trying to say that a ton of time has passed since the flood until the next huge moment but I don’t think they have to tell every single person who was born. Oh well. 7/10
Genesis 11: I like the first half where God decides to make communication a lot harder. A little mean but oh well. The second half is basically what we’ve seen before in Chapter 5. 7.5/10
Genesis 12: This was a bit confusing. The fast pace hurts this chapter. They go through a lot that it’s tricky to take in. But I like this Abram character. 8/10
Genesis 13: decent chapter. I enjoy how it’s setting up this city and Abram’s movement. 7.5/10
Genesis 14: This is beginning to be quite a violent story. Still way too fast paced though. I do like the suspense that is building up here. 7/10
Genesis 15: This is definitely the most interesting chapter yet. Abram is in this problematic point in the first half but the second half’s wording is quite confusing. I had to look up what’s going on and that is some plan alright. 7.5/10
Genesis 16: I’m not a fan of this. Is it truly alright that the Egyptian mistress, Hagar, should be the one to bore Abram his successor? It doesn’t make sense that Ishmeal would be Abram’s legitimate successor. I don’t know the word for this but I think that “Concubinage” is close enough. 5.5/10
Genesis 17: Alright there is a lot to unpack here. Abram is now Abraham which is a pretty cool name change if I do say so myself. Verse 10 says all men shall be circumcised which sounds like a major issue for people joining Abraham’s movement going forward in the future due to its pain. Verse 16 explains that Abraham’s wife (now Sarah, not Sarai) will be blessed and have a child. So Abraham now has a legitimate successor, however, this could lead to issues and drama with Hagar. But Ishmael is still part of Abraham’s covenant though. Interesting. And everyone gets circumcised after that talk. 8/10
Genesis 18: Two things to unpack. One, Sarah doesn’t believe that God could bring her a child. Odd that she doesn’t believe him. Second, God will not harm Sodom even if righteous people continue to exist there. Basically, the righteous should not die with the wicked. I liked that a lot. 8/10
To be continued… (will be updated daily)
God's second favorite video game, behind Melee.