This review contains spoilers
When the suicidal alt chick and the blonde with huge tits team up and form a lifelong friendship, after a little help from the single most bumbling old man ever seen, you know they can make anything happen! Let's go ladies!
I remember the kickstarter for this game and how odd it felt to see a Clock Tower-related thing be presented as this sleek, slick Nu-Age Kickstarter Killer App. It must not lose it's soul, I remember thinking. Which, when playing it, it most certainly fucking did not!
This whole game is like if you transported a cornball game released for the Dreamcast into the modern age, with all that that entails; just the most baffling, incredible nonsense you've ever seen. The main characters are the most atypical protagonists ever (the suicidal alt chick is like actually 100% obviously suicidal, it's her fucking main character trait, and the entire cast gives her the nickname the Deathwish Diva and treats her like a loose canon cop), the gameplay lends itself to natural B-horror schlock (a QTE to avoid a slow table comin' atcha that then fucking KILLS ANOTHER GUY WHO SAW IT COMING), it's RELENTLESSLY broken and buggy, and a story that manages to completely shock me with it's final villain reveal - it's almost on par with Armstrong for me when it comes to how fucking insane it is (almost).
The Scissorwalker, designed by Masahiro Ito, looks cool as fuck and is surprisingly sad and pitiable - which also feels at odds with the rest of the game. In one moment you're feeling sad and marvelling at how dope the Scissorwalker looks, the next you're avoiding the funniest QTE you've ever seen.
The pacing is also just so fucking bad. The first part is a gag-a-minute insane shlockfest - and then you compare that to, say, the part where you're fucking around an island slowly with no real atmosphere other than 'Island'. This is of course a plus, because it enhances the feeling of playing a lost game from ages ago that suddenly came into being.
A guy who looks EXACTLY like Ninja Theory's Dante dies from a vending machine eating him. There's a conveyor belt chase scene that had me laugh so hard I almost cried. There's a baby doll scare that looks like a Garry's Mod joke video. There's so much. This game is a certified winner.
When you get the best ending and the two unlikely friends and heroines look out towards the horizon, that's true video game magic baby. Absolutely a perfect successor to it's spiritual parent. Run, don't Scissorwalk to get this game!
I remember the kickstarter for this game and how odd it felt to see a Clock Tower-related thing be presented as this sleek, slick Nu-Age Kickstarter Killer App. It must not lose it's soul, I remember thinking. Which, when playing it, it most certainly fucking did not!
This whole game is like if you transported a cornball game released for the Dreamcast into the modern age, with all that that entails; just the most baffling, incredible nonsense you've ever seen. The main characters are the most atypical protagonists ever (the suicidal alt chick is like actually 100% obviously suicidal, it's her fucking main character trait, and the entire cast gives her the nickname the Deathwish Diva and treats her like a loose canon cop), the gameplay lends itself to natural B-horror schlock (a QTE to avoid a slow table comin' atcha that then fucking KILLS ANOTHER GUY WHO SAW IT COMING), it's RELENTLESSLY broken and buggy, and a story that manages to completely shock me with it's final villain reveal - it's almost on par with Armstrong for me when it comes to how fucking insane it is (almost).
The Scissorwalker, designed by Masahiro Ito, looks cool as fuck and is surprisingly sad and pitiable - which also feels at odds with the rest of the game. In one moment you're feeling sad and marvelling at how dope the Scissorwalker looks, the next you're avoiding the funniest QTE you've ever seen.
The pacing is also just so fucking bad. The first part is a gag-a-minute insane shlockfest - and then you compare that to, say, the part where you're fucking around an island slowly with no real atmosphere other than 'Island'. This is of course a plus, because it enhances the feeling of playing a lost game from ages ago that suddenly came into being.
A guy who looks EXACTLY like Ninja Theory's Dante dies from a vending machine eating him. There's a conveyor belt chase scene that had me laugh so hard I almost cried. There's a baby doll scare that looks like a Garry's Mod joke video. There's so much. This game is a certified winner.
When you get the best ending and the two unlikely friends and heroines look out towards the horizon, that's true video game magic baby. Absolutely a perfect successor to it's spiritual parent. Run, don't Scissorwalk to get this game!