This is a game that I have more or less been avoiding for the better part of twenty years. Despite being a big fan of the first two games back in their day, I saw the switch in art style and the move to console and gave it a hearty 'no thanks' that I have maintained up until now.
So, finally playing it has proven to me once again that, yep, my instincts are actually pretty good. It is hideous and stupid almost beyond words. If you tried the original SERIOUS SAMs and thought, hey, they should chop these big, impressive levels up into tiny missions and then put the most unbearably cringe in-engine cutscenes in the long, sad history of in-engine cutscenes between each one, brother, this is the game for you. Along with the new Jimmy Neutron-ass character designs, Croteam's lolrandom wackiness has been cranked up into the stratosphere to match, and man. I usually enjoy these goofy Croats and their funny little stunts and gags, but we're somewhere in RISE OF THE TRIAD-by-way-of-Shrek territory with this shit, and - again - thank you, no.
The big surprise for me here was how close the actual gameplay was to the two previous games. For some reason, I was expecting it to feel as different to play as it is to look at, but it's so similar it really seems more like an expansion than anything. Most of the guns and enemies appear to be straight reskins, and all the newest stuff is just bolted on, like turrets and vehicles. None of it is any good, and basic stuff like encounter and level design is flat out worse than before. Given that SERIOUS SAM was always famously the game with huge, wide-open spaces where you just ran backwards and held the fire button down forever, I didn't really think you could do that notably worse, but lo and behold!
Maybe in a different frame of mind I would be a little bit kinder to this, but given how similar this is to them, I would rather just play the previous games over again than suffer through this cringe nightmare for more Sam action.
So, finally playing it has proven to me once again that, yep, my instincts are actually pretty good. It is hideous and stupid almost beyond words. If you tried the original SERIOUS SAMs and thought, hey, they should chop these big, impressive levels up into tiny missions and then put the most unbearably cringe in-engine cutscenes in the long, sad history of in-engine cutscenes between each one, brother, this is the game for you. Along with the new Jimmy Neutron-ass character designs, Croteam's lolrandom wackiness has been cranked up into the stratosphere to match, and man. I usually enjoy these goofy Croats and their funny little stunts and gags, but we're somewhere in RISE OF THE TRIAD-by-way-of-Shrek territory with this shit, and - again - thank you, no.
The big surprise for me here was how close the actual gameplay was to the two previous games. For some reason, I was expecting it to feel as different to play as it is to look at, but it's so similar it really seems more like an expansion than anything. Most of the guns and enemies appear to be straight reskins, and all the newest stuff is just bolted on, like turrets and vehicles. None of it is any good, and basic stuff like encounter and level design is flat out worse than before. Given that SERIOUS SAM was always famously the game with huge, wide-open spaces where you just ran backwards and held the fire button down forever, I didn't really think you could do that notably worse, but lo and behold!
Maybe in a different frame of mind I would be a little bit kinder to this, but given how similar this is to them, I would rather just play the previous games over again than suffer through this cringe nightmare for more Sam action.