I dunno guys I can't really call a game 'great' when half of the actual content you need to engage with is a total flaccid pancake. From the laughably pointless sub-weapons system, bland level design, maybe the most forgettable codecs in the entire series, and half-assed stealth segments always forcing you into immediate hack and slash combat against enemies that are scattershot in quality (y'know it's 7th Gen when they just give up and throw in missile launcher enemies). I don't even buy into the hype for the combat being the real meat here. Lotta people praise this for being peak hack and slash kino but the game does a good job of making sure everything but just button mashing light attacks and parry seem completely pointless for the grind you're roped into. I guess Blade Mode is cool whenever it works as a fun breakaway from the shallow grindset by slicing up enemies into billions of precise little pieces. That's about it, really. It speaks to the rabid hyped up reputation this game garnered where beyond the memes people only gas up the boss fights and soundtrack because everything else doesn't stack up good at all.

I'm willing to throw the gauntlet down on the table here and say this misunderstood the appeal of Metal Gear and Kojima's style. You can take a major character and spin them off into their own self-contained game, highlighting what makes them unique gameplay-wise compared to the tactical stealth action norm we're used to. That's fine. However, when the job is done this shoddy and questionable, I take quick notice and judge the merits of what it offers for being part of a larger series. The lack of Kojima's creative presence is noticeably felt here. What originally would've been Metal Gear Solid: Rising, covering Raiden's entire development from MGS2 to MGS4, is replaced and overwritten with a story that's just utter nonsense. I wanna say this feels like an AI wrote it because it's Metal Gear and I enjoy being witty, but I think it's more damning to say it feels like Reddit wrote it instead. Like, some developer posted a thread on the MGS subreddit and asked people what their favorite funny moments of the games were and they used those replies to make the game. Remember when MGS2 said “meme” like a few times to explain the entire concept and how it relates to our shaping in understanding reality? Well, here we say it like a hundred times because people thought characters saying "meme" very seriously is funny. The only moment that felt like this vibed on the same wavelength as the mainline games was when a villain gives a whole preamble about how they’ll perform illegal experiments capturing third world orphans and get away with manufacturing child soldiers because first world countries, media, and politicians don’t care. Anything that almost resembles legible real-world commentary is just a lame retread of what was already tackled head-on in MGS2 and MGS4.

I could see someone justifying the schlocky absurdity of the game as fun badass fanservice but everything feels very tryhard rule-of-cool compared to even how Metal Gear already handles that kind of fanservice before. You think Raiden ripping off the leg of a Metal Gear and whacking it around like a piñata is the coolest thing ever? Motherfucker, he's done raw shit in MGS4 that makes that look like child's play by comparison. Like having his arms ripped off, being half alive, and fighting off a swarm of super soldier goons with a blade using his bare teeth. It's hype as hell because you actually give a shit about what's happening. I can't say the same for funny looking Senator MemeMan verbally vomiting vague war politics that once you strip away the comedic irony, the commentary remains basic and uninteresting. Much like Metal Gear Rising itself, it's all style with no substance.