Super Smash Bros. has always been about putting as many characters from Nintendo’s backlog into the fray. This way, the lost and the damned of Nintendo’s history could get a chance to be among the greats. I can’t think of more forsaken Nintendo characters than the Ice Climbers. They are so menial that starting up Super Smash Bros. Melee and seeing them in the character select menu garners a resounding “Who?!” from everyone. Even Mr. Game and Watch had more notoriety than these poor saps. Alas, they do have a legitimate place in Nintendo’s history, as minuscule as it might be.

The Ice Climbers are characters from a 1985 arcade game that predates the NES/Famicom by a few months. It was ported with the NES when the console launched and was among the early titles of the NES like Excitebike, Balloon Fighter, etc. Like those games, Ice Climber is a simple game with a simple premise. Two color-coded Eskimos named Popo, the blue one, and Nana, the not blue one (come to think of it, these characters are so paltry that I think they were given these names when Melee was released) climb a mountain and try to get to the top. Along the way, they encounter hostile creatures like wooly creatures referred to as Topis, birds, and even polar bears. Luckily, the climbers are equipped with a hammer to whack these enemies away. The very top of the mountain acts as a bonus stage where the climbers are timed to jump into the talons of a Condor pacing back and forth at the peak. Various temperate vegetables like eggplants, mushrooms, lettuce, etc. can be acquired for bonus points.

Being a 21st century kid that grew up with 3D games with bigger narratives, these simple points-driven games on the NES never really held my attention. In saying this, there is still a lot fundamentally wrong with Ice Climber. To ascend further up the mountain, the player has to break the barrier above them brick by brick by jumping. Every brick except for the icy bars at the top can be broken to make a passageway, and thank god because aiming for one is incredibly imprecise. The jumping control in this game is god awful. Popo feels fluid when he moves normally, but he jumps so rigidly you’d think he shits his pants in mid-air. Considering the objective is climbing the mountain by jumping, this puts a gigantic damper on the game as a whole. One would think a simple game wouldn’t have problems in the controls department, but one that does makes the game almost unplayable.

It should be noted that the player only plays as Popo. Nana is confined to the second player in co-op mode. They don’t have a Mario and Luigi relationship, but more like Sonic and Tails with both characters sharing the same screen simultaneously. The second player is insignificant as whenever they die, it’s inconsequential. When Popo dies, it’s the end of the line. I thought this brand of blatant sexism came from Super Smash Bros. Melee as the Ice Climbers fight with that same dynamic. I guess I can rest easy knowing that this was just a nod to how things worked in their game, but it still doesn’t work. Why can’t the two players compete with each other to climb the mountain? Why would this task be a cooperative effort if one player is totally supporting the other? Dragging another person up this mountain with the horrendous jumping controls sounds like a form of frigid hell.

After debuting in the arcades and providing supplementary material for the early days of the NES, Ice Climber never really returned. There were no sequels and no revival franchise like Nintendo decided to do with Donkey Kong. Ice Climber was just a flash in the pan in gaming, and that’s putting it generously. Their one game, this mediocre, poorly executed vertical platformer, explains why they were proverbially left on the frosty mountain peak to be buried away by time. It almost makes me wonder why Nintendo decided to put them in Super Smash Bros. as early as its second entry. At least I like them there. I was even disheartened when they were omitted from the fourth game.

Edit: I stand corrected. Their names are Popo and Nana in the Japanese version of the game.

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Attribution: https://erockreviews.blogspot.com

Reviewed on Jan 08, 2023


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