I mean, look, ok, I'm not against the ideas of Westerns. I loved Deadwood, and Cibola Burn was my favorite book in The Expanse series, ok. I get it, they're all about slow pacing, fucking wide shots of landscape, immersion or whatever. That all works when it's passive media, but PLEASE do no expect me to entertain myself for 80 hours of your 160 hour game. I can look at the game while I'm playing, sure, but I'm just looking at the same thing over and over. Like literally the same thing. The pixels don't change, you know what I mean? I wish Rockstar would grow a pair and just make more cutscenes. No I don't want to have to pay attention to riding my horse while you also do exposition at me. I guess people like the writing in this game too? I don't know, I didn't care for it. How am I supposed to listen to people and ride my horse at the same time? Like sometimes they get far away from you and you can't exactly hear them, so now you're trying to read subtitles and ride your horse at the same time. Like, what? Just let me put the controller down, my hands hurt and I probably have carpal tunnel at 26 years old. You know, I think I really just don't like games that are about "systems". Why is there so much stuff going on? There are so many things you can do in RDR2. How much of that stuff do I have to do? None of it I guess, like none of this matters. No, I don't want to grind out hunting squirrels for a new wallet, or whatever. And yet, my lizard brain makes me feel bad when I see the check boxes for all the things I have to do, so of course I go out and hunt the squirrels like an idiot. Then I don't have fun and, oh god, is this the whole game? Is this what you do in RDR2? Do you really just ride your horse around while half paying attention to the story, then like, hunt wildlife for a check list, and sometimes shoot people? It's horrifying. Imagine if RDR2 was Half Life 2 instead, and it just told a story and didn't have this giant checklist of shit. Do people actually 100% these games? I'm sure some do, but I bet the vast vast majority of people don't. I bet most people don't even see the end because they get scared of the checklists and all the other shit. Like me. I bet like, people memorize all the stuff in this game. Like they know the best hunting spots, they know what towns sell what guns, they know how to craft things. I don't know those things, and I don't want to. Like how do you even craft things? I think you give stuff to the cook. But you're also supposed to donate to your camp? I was never really sure what that did. It's probably written somewhere. There's a lot of stuff written in this game. It's not very good, really. Like it's just not interesting. I think I got to the point where I unlocked weapon mods, saw another checklist of all of those, then uninstalled. You know what's strange, is like, you have your guns right? I don't know how that works. I don't understand the inventory for your guns. Where are they all? You have like 50 of them on your horse, but if you drop one during a mission it's gone forever, I think. Like I had a unique gun (I think it was unique), and then I dropped it because I couldn't find ammo for it, and I was like "oh, it'll be on my horse later", and then it wasn't? Ok, I guess I don't need the gun anyway. It doesn't matter. Death Stranding is a better western anyway.

Reviewed on Feb 12, 2021


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