Mobile games are, as an art form, pretty under-discussed and greatly under-valued. If you're my age (or a little younger) and grew up with parents not interested in indulging their child's burgeoning interests in things that genuinely brought them great joy, then it's very likely mobile games were a large part of your early time with gaming. Nowadays any child has a low-grade supercomputer in their pocket perfectly capable of running Final Fantasy X better than the PS2 could, and the major mobile games are poor imitations of AAA releases with embarrassing gacha mechanics. It can be pretty hard now to place yourself into the context of a point in history where mobile gaming was an entire medium unto itself. But I was there. I saw the rise and fall of Angry Birds, I saw that brief window of genuine critical acclaim for Monument Valley. Most of all, I was on the ground floor when a young puzzle game developer decided to dip their toes into the burgeoning market of mobile games.

Once upon a time, Popcap were masters of their chosen field. As far as browser-based, low-bar-for-entry desktop puzzle games go, entries like Peggle remain some of the best. Light entertainment is deceptively difficult to make. It's easy to set a skill floor low enough for literally anyone to start playing, but it's far harder to match it with a skill ceiling high enough to be genuinely compelling for those who want to sink their teeth further in. Popcap could consistently make these ridiculously charming and polished games that you and your grandmother could play and have equal amounts of fun with. You and I may not understand it, but Bejewelled is still being downloaded by millions of folks every year. In their prime Popcap paved the way for mass-market casual gaming as we know it today to exist.

Seeing their potential after Bejewelled 3's enormous success on mobile devices in late 2010, EA purchased Popcap. They then ordered sequels to the company's big-name IPs, included a bunch of annoying microtransactions in them, and sold out Popcap's integrity for a big old chunk of change. Popcaps's made nothing but drivel since, and the rest is history. Or so the stories go.

Look. Plants vs Zombies is a great tower defence game. It's dripping with charm, the levels are delightfully designed, and it's a perfectly sized experience with a nice smattering of side content that makes the whole meal feel fuller. It's a damn fine game. But, if you can ignore the microtransaction hell that EA hath wrought (which, despite all odds, you legitimately can), PvZ 2 is better. I feel like it's a bit of an open secret with PvZ die-hards, but as far as tower defence games go it's a consistently fun and very charming experience with an onslaught of exciting gimmicks. I like the diversity of the worlds, I like the continually increasing challenge, and I even liked that art style change! On whole it's a deeper and more diverse experience than the first game. I have little doubt in my mind that a PC port removing the microtransaction-based features of 2 would shift public perception completely over which game is better. Popcap was still ahead of the pack when it came to these kinds of games come 2013.

But it's not 2013 anymore. In the intermediary, Popcap has spent almost all of its time trying to figure out what to do with this franchise. They sandwiched surprisingly solid major-budget console shooters around a less-than-successful stab at a mobile card game (in a sort of Clash Royale vein), and while I have no doubt the coffers remained plenty stuffed, it's clear the creatives were never really clear on what they should be doing. So, they return to the golden goose. It's time to bring back Plants vs Zombies, in earnest.

This conversation happened years ago. Anyone paying attention knows this game has been to development Hell and back many times since its initial announcement. Now it's allegedly released, for realsies, and it stinks of a money grab pushed out as quickly as possible. Whatever charm was originally present, in the diversity of plants, in the personal customisation of builds, in the mission design, in the art direction, in the dialogue or the characters themselves, in the goddamn World Map! It's gone! Eviscerated in place of a Funko-ian aesthetic and the blandest soundtrack known to man. Of course, 2 was swimming in predatory practices, but the key to it was that they were genuinely optional. Whether by intent or miracle, progression was still satisfying, unlockables felt vital and exciting. 3 completely removes player customisation from the equation, and embraces the dead-on-arrival mechanic of the 'lives' system, restricting you to 5 attempts on a level if you were to lose. You probably won't, no real challenge or puzzle is present in any levels I've seen (from what I can tell about 1/4 of the game's total), but they've just included a way to segment access for kids so that the gameplay becomes more addictive to their developing brains. PvZ 2 was addictive to my little kid brain. You wanna know why? Because it was fun as hell! We've forgotten the effectiveness of that method!

No one on planet Earth should be surprised by this. PvZ 2 and the Garden Warfare games were enjoyable despite the monetary practices built around them. I was just hoping we'd get that. I only wanted to glimpse the studio that once upon a time was the bastion of its own micro-industry. We don't even get a peak. I'm not sorry that this game is bad. I'm sorry that I care. That I genuinely see the value in these games as an art form. That I know what this team was once capable of. That I expect better. But I do.

If ever there was a genuine artistry to the casual gaming experience, if ever there was integrity to those who made the games that define the early experiences of this medium for millions, I know deep down it's long gone. And that little version of me blasting through ancient Egypt on his iPad mini at the ripe old age of 10 is never quite going to be able to live with that. PvZ 3 might as well be the definitive documentation of the downfall of mobile gaming.

But the greatest injustice, the final mockery, is that it's still a little fun. The gameplay loop is fundamentally there, and sparks of the original appeal remain. In a way, that's worse. If this was truly nothing at all, I'd be happy to ignore it completely. But I can't. I know this could have been a real game, but it refuses to be. For that, it is all the more actively depressing.

Reviewed on Feb 03, 2024


1 Comment


2 days ago

To be honest, I had no idea that people like PvZ2 more than the first one. Probably because I very quickly stopped playing it and then just assumed PvZ had been dug into its grave. Interesting to hear this perspective!