This game makes me RABID. I gnaw on my controller and thrash around in rage as spittle erupts from my bared teeth every time the godawful elevator music starts playing. My fists shake and clench as my hands tear through the soft fabric of my couch whenever they reference a dead on arrival meme from 20 years ago. My head turns red with fury and steam erupts from my ears as I pound on the table in front of me every time the game shoves another shitty DLC costume in front of my face. Lightning erupts from the heavens, smiting my very being where I stand, only for me to rise unphased with eyes sparking in a brilliant vacuum of white light, everytime Bjorn farts. I hate everything about this key-jangling TikTok Subways Surfers video of a game. But I will still play it to 100%. The longer I stay away from it the deeper I feel the spectral hooks digging into my brain. 

Someone help me. Please.