This isn't a joke review. I'm dead fucking serious this time.
I haven't experienced a game that people told me got good at the third act...until this game.
I have issues with this game. Too many to list. Of course, the level "design" is soulless and lacks any sort of fun. Earlier Xeno games would include little puzzles and would have some environmental storytelling. Whatever the fuck that means. The gameplay is bizarre and since I have never played an MMORPG, I am completely unfamiliar with this type of gameplay. And the walking speed is slower than a sloth.
The story? Ah yes. The thing I love about Xeno and video games in general (I'm a Visual Novel fan lol). So when I played this game, I was underwhelmed. Yeah there are cool ideas and such but this reminds me of a filler JRPG to wash your mouth of all the epic masterpieces or when there's nothing coming out at the time. The problem is, Xenosaga and Xenogears were the epics I wanted. And it turns out, this wasn’t meant to be Xeno. Until like they were 80% of the way done and decided “Hey let’s make this a Xeno. Change the already done story? Nah keep it.”
Riki. Holy shit. Riki. Football. That fucking football. I want to kill that piece of shit. That whole thing’s existence is just there to pad time. The fucker doesn’t talk about anything of worth (although this game’s standard of worth is already in the shitter) but when he does talk the dude’s always like “Look look big fishy fish”. Uhhhh yeah no shit Sherlock I know there’s a dinosaur in our presence can you get out of the way of the camera.
Anyways I’m done with this game. For now at least. I’ll pick it back up because I kinda have to because I paid $50 for this shit and I need to get my hard earned money’s worth since I literally never pay for games unless I absolutely have to. And when I play Xenoblade 2 and 3, I’ll be sure to emulate it (though maybe $60 for Xenogears with a harem definitely sounds worth the money).
I’m going back to my porn games.
I haven't experienced a game that people told me got good at the third act...until this game.
I have issues with this game. Too many to list. Of course, the level "design" is soulless and lacks any sort of fun. Earlier Xeno games would include little puzzles and would have some environmental storytelling. Whatever the fuck that means. The gameplay is bizarre and since I have never played an MMORPG, I am completely unfamiliar with this type of gameplay. And the walking speed is slower than a sloth.
The story? Ah yes. The thing I love about Xeno and video games in general (I'm a Visual Novel fan lol). So when I played this game, I was underwhelmed. Yeah there are cool ideas and such but this reminds me of a filler JRPG to wash your mouth of all the epic masterpieces or when there's nothing coming out at the time. The problem is, Xenosaga and Xenogears were the epics I wanted. And it turns out, this wasn’t meant to be Xeno. Until like they were 80% of the way done and decided “Hey let’s make this a Xeno. Change the already done story? Nah keep it.”
Riki. Holy shit. Riki. Football. That fucking football. I want to kill that piece of shit. That whole thing’s existence is just there to pad time. The fucker doesn’t talk about anything of worth (although this game’s standard of worth is already in the shitter) but when he does talk the dude’s always like “Look look big fishy fish”. Uhhhh yeah no shit Sherlock I know there’s a dinosaur in our presence can you get out of the way of the camera.
Anyways I’m done with this game. For now at least. I’ll pick it back up because I kinda have to because I paid $50 for this shit and I need to get my hard earned money’s worth since I literally never pay for games unless I absolutely have to. And when I play Xenoblade 2 and 3, I’ll be sure to emulate it (though maybe $60 for Xenogears with a harem definitely sounds worth the money).
I’m going back to my porn games.
2 Comments
kinoblade
COMPOSTCOMEFORTH
1 year ago