The sharpest quality nosedive since Tumblr got rid of porn WHAT HAPPENED
Level 1, FIRE. Explore an incredible rendition of the Planet Express building, with every inch turning character quirks and in-jokes into some hilarious platforming sequence. Scruffy's too busy looking at pictures of titties to tend to his janitorial work, so platform over rusty crates through a flooded basement. Farnsworth hasn't had an inspector check the premises for leaks and damage since before Fry was frozen, so jump around bursting vents and pipes. Bender's taking a shit. It has nothing to do with anything he's just there pissing and shitting. This is GOLD, there's nothing that could stop this incredible experience, NOTHING that could derail the epic momentum this first level BAM SEWERS.
There's an enemy running straight towards you, SO HOW ABOUT THE AIMING LOCK-ON JUST SPINS YOU 180 DEGRESS TO TARGET A RANDOM CRATE YOU PASSED FIVE MINUTES AGO. If you overcome the odds and target an actual enemy, YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE JUST TARGETED THE CRATE I'VE SHOT HIM 50 TIMES WHY'S HE STILL GNAWING MY ARM. Numerous platforming challenges over insta-death pools of insta-death, DO IT ALL WITH THE HEAVIEST JUMP GRAVITY ALLOWS WITH CONTROLS THAT ARE SOMEHOW ALSO SUPER LOOSE AND IMPRECISE, SO YOU JUMP HALF A CENTIMETER BUT THEN TURN MID-AIR FASTER THAN THE AIMING LOCK-ON WHEN YOU TRY TO TARGET AN ENEMY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
ALL WITH CHECKPOINTS SO FAR BACK NOT EVEN THE TARGETING SYSTEM CAN LOCK-ON TO THEM, SO YOU'LL REPLAY THESE SEGMENTS MORE TIMES THAN YOU'LL PRESS THE TARGET BUTTON TRYING TO LOCK-ON TO AN ENEMY WHY'S THE TARGETING SYSTEM SO SHIT FOR FUCK'S SAKE
There's an official cutscene compilation I'd recommend watching instead, but it's only available as an extra on the DVD of the second worst Futurama movie, so yeah just don't experience this game in any form
Level 1, FIRE. Explore an incredible rendition of the Planet Express building, with every inch turning character quirks and in-jokes into some hilarious platforming sequence. Scruffy's too busy looking at pictures of titties to tend to his janitorial work, so platform over rusty crates through a flooded basement. Farnsworth hasn't had an inspector check the premises for leaks and damage since before Fry was frozen, so jump around bursting vents and pipes. Bender's taking a shit. It has nothing to do with anything he's just there pissing and shitting. This is GOLD, there's nothing that could stop this incredible experience, NOTHING that could derail the epic momentum this first level BAM SEWERS.
There's an enemy running straight towards you, SO HOW ABOUT THE AIMING LOCK-ON JUST SPINS YOU 180 DEGRESS TO TARGET A RANDOM CRATE YOU PASSED FIVE MINUTES AGO. If you overcome the odds and target an actual enemy, YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE JUST TARGETED THE CRATE I'VE SHOT HIM 50 TIMES WHY'S HE STILL GNAWING MY ARM. Numerous platforming challenges over insta-death pools of insta-death, DO IT ALL WITH THE HEAVIEST JUMP GRAVITY ALLOWS WITH CONTROLS THAT ARE SOMEHOW ALSO SUPER LOOSE AND IMPRECISE, SO YOU JUMP HALF A CENTIMETER BUT THEN TURN MID-AIR FASTER THAN THE AIMING LOCK-ON WHEN YOU TRY TO TARGET AN ENEMY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
ALL WITH CHECKPOINTS SO FAR BACK NOT EVEN THE TARGETING SYSTEM CAN LOCK-ON TO THEM, SO YOU'LL REPLAY THESE SEGMENTS MORE TIMES THAN YOU'LL PRESS THE TARGET BUTTON TRYING TO LOCK-ON TO AN ENEMY WHY'S THE TARGETING SYSTEM SO SHIT FOR FUCK'S SAKE
There's an official cutscene compilation I'd recommend watching instead, but it's only available as an extra on the DVD of the second worst Futurama movie, so yeah just don't experience this game in any form
1 Comment
personally i'd say bender's game is a lil better because it's not directly following the best futurama movie, but theres no point in defending trash over garbage
dogsinsuits
29 days ago