If I wanted to watch a bunch of shitty animations stare soulessly at each other while occasionally barking some bare allusion to something that might mean anything I'd just wait a few years until marvel movies are made fully by AI. GTA games really want you to care so badly about the characters, and to look beyond the uncanny valley of their eerie lifelessness.

Thinking that anything this game is funny, entertaining, sad, or impactful in any way is like writing home to your poor mom about how that mechanical rat concert you saw at the Chuck E. Cheese was damn near the best you ever saw; that the singing automaton deeply touched your heartfelt woes and secrets and made you think maybe there's still some hope in this dark world; that you felt like you had never heard Turkey In The Straw until it came out of that dingy old robot's mouth, as you pounded your fourth fifth in that dingy kids arcade...