Me: But since we're all gonna die, there's one more secret I feel I have to share with you. I did not care for Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Deadpan: What?

Me: Did not care for Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Isaac: How can you even say that, STRM?

Me: Didn't like it.

Deadpan: STRM, it's so good! It's like the perfect comedy platformer!

Me: This is what everyone always said. Whenever they say...

Isaac: Voice Acting, clever writing, I mean, RAREWAR GOLDEN YEARSll!

Me: Fine. Fine. Fine stuff, did not like the game.

Gringo: Why not?

Me: Did not...couldn't get into it.

Deadpan: Explain yourself. What didn't you like about it?

Me: It insists upon itself, Deadpan.

Deadpan: What?

Me: It insists upon itself.

Deadpan: What does that even mean?

Isaac: Because it was an adult only game made on N64 and the last games released on the system, IT HAD A VALID REASON TO DO SO, IT’S INSISTED!

Me: Its controls are really sloppy; a lot of the jokes are just poop jokes or characters swearing for the sake of it... You know, I can't get through, I've never even finished the game. I've never seen the ending.

Isaac: YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THE ENDING?!

Helicon: How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?

Deadpan: I agree with Helicon. It's not even fair.

Me: I have tried on three separate occasions to get through it, and I get to the section where it’s WWII and you're fighting the Nazi teddy bears and.

Deadpan: Yeah, it's a great section. I love that section.

Me: It’s not, the shooting and aiming is dogshit. That part in the hallway is pure bullshit... You know, that's where I lose interest in it.

Deadpan: You know what, STRM.

Isaac: IT WAS ON N64!

Deadpan: you can’t expect every single video game in the 5th gen era to hold up to modern day standards; sometimes games made back them didn't have the technology or the time to have everything work the way the devs probably wanted them to work.

Me: I love Banjo-Kazooie. That is my answer to that statement.

Deadpan: Exactly.

Me: Well, there you go.

Deadpan: Whatever.

Isaac: I like that game too.

Reviewed on Aug 15, 2021


2 Comments


2 years ago

Petition to change this review from "Completed' to 'Abandoned'

2 years ago