Sometimes I like to replay the whole series to remember how good they were and then remember how thoroughly this one killed the franchise outright.
These dudes were so fucking lazy that they just allow you to make a shit ton of money in level 1 and just always have a high ass stockpile to always buy upgrades that you'll never really use. Every treasure that you find on the map is rarely over 150 coins yet just pick pocketing guards will have a 2/3 chance to net you a 200 or 500 coin worth item, completely negating the point of bringing treasures back. And for some reason ALL OF THEM ARE TIMED but not because they're booby trapped or something realistic like that. They just are and they vanish instead of blowing up if you aren't fast enough to get back to the hideout.
I'm probably the only person irked by this specific change but I really hate that if you jump from a high spot you will now have a hard landing animation on Sly when his whole schtick is being nimble and light on his feet, and makes movement just a little worse. Speaking of movement this game has the most innacurate system for environment interaction out of the entire franchise. You'll try to land or latch onto something and regularly you'll be flung to something off screen or the animation will just give up and you have to reclimb something or fall into a pit, or with the spire jump if you jump off too quickly the game will give you this short hop that will just fling you into pits. I didn't know I was playing every Assassin's Creed.
I ain't usually easily offended but as a black man myself The Grizz is a fucking wild ass character that for all intents and purposes should not have been allowed to exist. That is just out and out no debate a racist caricature of a black person. Like not even Tsao and Mz. Ruby were this bad.
This game overall is just a case study in character assassination but anybody who knows anything about this game has heard this insanely valid criticism ad nauseum so I'm not gonna repeat it.
Your existence.
Is God's failure.
These dudes were so fucking lazy that they just allow you to make a shit ton of money in level 1 and just always have a high ass stockpile to always buy upgrades that you'll never really use. Every treasure that you find on the map is rarely over 150 coins yet just pick pocketing guards will have a 2/3 chance to net you a 200 or 500 coin worth item, completely negating the point of bringing treasures back. And for some reason ALL OF THEM ARE TIMED but not because they're booby trapped or something realistic like that. They just are and they vanish instead of blowing up if you aren't fast enough to get back to the hideout.
I'm probably the only person irked by this specific change but I really hate that if you jump from a high spot you will now have a hard landing animation on Sly when his whole schtick is being nimble and light on his feet, and makes movement just a little worse. Speaking of movement this game has the most innacurate system for environment interaction out of the entire franchise. You'll try to land or latch onto something and regularly you'll be flung to something off screen or the animation will just give up and you have to reclimb something or fall into a pit, or with the spire jump if you jump off too quickly the game will give you this short hop that will just fling you into pits. I didn't know I was playing every Assassin's Creed.
I ain't usually easily offended but as a black man myself The Grizz is a fucking wild ass character that for all intents and purposes should not have been allowed to exist. That is just out and out no debate a racist caricature of a black person. Like not even Tsao and Mz. Ruby were this bad.
This game overall is just a case study in character assassination but anybody who knows anything about this game has heard this insanely valid criticism ad nauseum so I'm not gonna repeat it.
Your existence.
Is God's failure.
4 Comments
"what about what they did to penelope?" that's literally what the last line implies, my dude.
The World design is ass, what? The areas are just filled with loads of bullshit that obfuscate the map so you can never get a good idea of what the layout of some areas are. You can't find clue bottles easily because their clinking can only be heard within breathing distance.
There's barely a soundtrack for most of the time just ambiance to match the time period.
Graphics are good? Bro you need your eyes checked if you think this game looks good. Somehow not a gray/brown 7th gen mess up the models look like they're made of melting play-do.
How are you gonna play Sly's 2 and 3 and sit here and tell me the voice acting is as good? Does Sly's completely out of nowhere personality shift not set off alarms for you? I know the typical backlogger is a hyper-contrarian but bruh come on. Murray being 99% fat jokes is good? Carmelita being actively on the character select screen but you can count on one hand how many missions she has, one of them being the least sexy qte sequence tp ever exist that goes on way too long?
I could not give two shits what your definition of a half a star is. I usually rate games that are "playable" really bad if they are just straight up inferior to their prior incarnations if their from a long running series in almost every way which is what Sly 4 is. See Tales of Berseria for that as well.
Most of my reviews on this site aren't even real reviews since you clearly were assblasted by this one enough to go through my entire back catalogue because you're one of the few weird people that like this game. TMNT 2003 and Mickey's Speedway are by no means perfect games and that's coming from having a relatively recent view of TMNT 2003.
DMC5 is also not a perfect game it's got something issues as well that even DMC4 did better and I still rated that 5 stars. Stop trying to imprint your logic onto mine I couldn't give less of a shit, my dude.
I literally have like 1 actually real review on this site and the rest are me just saying shit off the top of my head and moving on with my day.
"Grizz is over the top that you make into a racist thing."
My dude even characters like Mz. Ruby, Panda King, or General Tsao like I mentioned can be seen as a bit "stereotype-y" but they were actually treated with respect and like actual real threats by the writing team.
Sly 4 is like the most unserious game to ever exist so how else am I supposed to take this BLACK BEAR who RAPS EVERY LINE and does exclusively GRAFFITI ART and is only ever treated like an unserious joke. At best he's just a worse version of Dimitri at worst he's a racist caricature. El Jefe and Toothpick were nowhere near as racist in their depiction they actually had somethings going on outside of their racial background. El Jefe is kinda a turbo weeb and Toothpick is a westaboo. Ms. Decibel is also just a worse version of the Contessa and with music. Why is the ONE BLACK GUY the one who's just a bunch of black stereotypes? Are you for real?
This better be some top-tier bait or I'm gonna lose my mind.
The World design is ass, what? The areas are just filled with loads of bullshit that obfuscate the map so you can never get a good idea of what the layout of some areas are. You can't find clue bottles easily because their clinking can only be heard within breathing distance.
There's barely a soundtrack for most of the time just ambiance to match the time period.
Graphics are good? Bro you need your eyes checked if you think this game looks good. Somehow not a gray/brown 7th gen mess up the models look like they're made of melting play-do.
How are you gonna play Sly's 2 and 3 and sit here and tell me the voice acting is as good? Does Sly's completely out of nowhere personality shift not set off alarms for you? I know the typical backlogger is a hyper-contrarian but bruh come on. Murray being 99% fat jokes is good? Carmelita being actively on the character select screen but you can count on one hand how many missions she has, one of them being the least sexy qte sequence tp ever exist that goes on way too long?
I could not give two shits what your definition of a half a star is. I usually rate games that are "playable" really bad if they are just straight up inferior to their prior incarnations if their from a long running series in almost every way which is what Sly 4 is. See Tales of Berseria for that as well.
Most of my reviews on this site aren't even real reviews since you clearly were assblasted by this one enough to go through my entire back catalogue because you're one of the few weird people that like this game. TMNT 2003 and Mickey's Speedway are by no means perfect games and that's coming from having a relatively recent view of TMNT 2003.
DMC5 is also not a perfect game it's got something issues as well that even DMC4 did better and I still rated that 5 stars. Stop trying to imprint your logic onto mine I couldn't give less of a shit, my dude.
I literally have like 1 actually real review on this site and the rest are me just saying shit off the top of my head and moving on with my day.
"Grizz is over the top that you make into a racist thing."
My dude even characters like Mz. Ruby, Panda King, or General Tsao like I mentioned can be seen as a bit "stereotype-y" but they were actually treated with respect and like actual real threats by the writing team.
Sly 4 is like the most unserious game to ever exist so how else am I supposed to take this BLACK BEAR who RAPS EVERY LINE and does exclusively GRAFFITI ART and is only ever treated like an unserious joke. At best he's just a worse version of Dimitri at worst he's a racist caricature. El Jefe and Toothpick were nowhere near as racist in their depiction they actually had somethings going on outside of their racial background. El Jefe is kinda a turbo weeb and Toothpick is a westaboo. Ms. Decibel is also just a worse version of the Contessa and with music. Why is the ONE BLACK GUY the one who's just a bunch of black stereotypes? Are you for real?
This better be some top-tier bait or I'm gonna lose my mind.
gave ur mom half a star last night lmao
gottem
Tomiply
8 days ago
What you've done here is how NOT to review a game. Go on a rant about very personal issues with the game, then ignore everything else. I haven't given a single game half a star yet, because I haven't played anything that awfully broken and bad in my life. I have given a SINGLE one star review, and that was for a broken horror game called Agony that was like an Early Access game, even on its full release. That's it though. I see you have FIVE half star reviews though, and 13 one star reviews. That's despite having played half as many games as me. Either you play a lot of shit games or you have no idea how to review games.
I... also see you gave Shrek 2 five stars and five stars to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003) as well. Yikes. Even Mickey's Speedway USA, a painfully mediocre kart racer, you gave five stars. Yeah, seems like you're easily swayed by feelings like nostalgia and/or things that piss you off, rather than all aspects of a game, like gameplay, graphics, story, world design, music, etc. Try to be a bit more objective.
Your rant about "The Grizz" seems insane to me. THAT'S what you chose to focus on. Just a new character that's a bit over-the-top, then you make it into a racist thing. You're sounding like an IGN reviewer or something. What about what they did to Penelope? What they did with her was mind-blowingly bad, but that isn't even mentioned here. This "review" just comes off as very unserious and bad. Ridiculous.