This game has cursed me. I find myself going outside my apartment and getting pissed at how dirty the ground is. I look up, see the moss growing on my neighbor's roof, and shake my fist at the sky. I think, "If I had a power washer, this complex would be immaculate in 30 minutes!"

So now I must ask myself, am I experiencing the same feeling of joy that a father gets when renting a power washer from Home Depot? Am I a dad?