As somebody who hates most reboots and rolls their eyes at the sight of so many dead IPs having their graves needlessly desecrated during this era, I am choosing to rate this an unusually high score relative to my low expectations beforehand.

After spending enough time with titles like Shadows of the Damned and Drakengard 3, I have grown a deep fondness for questionable seventh-gen action games where the repetitive combat is smoothed over by main characters that never shut the hell up. One could argue that the writing tries too hard, but everything else about this game is bringing it so hard that it cultivates a strong sense of campy showmanship. I was surprised by how much thought was put into the game's narrative and world-building as well, devolving into ambitiously incoherent Lovecraft worship after a certain point.

The enemy variety is just okay and it's obviously missing some connective tissue in between its most memorable setpieces, but when Splatterhouse shines, it REALLY shines! I was especially impressed with the variety and pacing during Phases 6-8 as well as some of the late game areas. Perhaps I would scrutinize more closely if it had loads of filler, but my first playthrough took me less than 6 hours and it wasn't anywhere near long enough to begin to overstay its welcome.