The good levels are better than EWJ1, but the bad levels are so bad that I think someone should actually be punished for them. Whoever came up with Puppy Love and determined it needed 3 rounds? I want that guy killed, clean shot. Level Ate consantly bombarding you with enemies and salt shakers? The Iron Maiden. The sick fucking monster who brought in the Flyin' King? The Baptist Hell. Suffer endlessly.
I want to rate this higher than Earthworm Jim 1 because there is stuff I love here: the animation is even better and more expressive, the game actually makes me laugh pretty consistently, it's pretty funny! The good levels like Udderly Abducted, Tangerines, Lorenzo's Soil, and Jim Is A Blind Cave Salamander are actually FUN and have INTERESTING GIMMICKS. But the rotten is like a limb blackened by frostbite, functionless and chipping off before your very eyes, and the only thing we need to do is get it to a hospital so amputation can happen.
A game that would gain more stars if content was actively REMOVED. Puppy Love is T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E. I cannot stand by For Pete's Sake being slandered while this nightmare is given a slap on the wrist. The fucking marshmallow you have to bounce the puppies off of has the most inconsistent hitbox in a game loaded with them by a company who is bad at them. It is a level so bad that I actively encourage cheating. If something fucking stinks: cheat. Don't feel bad about it, if it sucks, skip it. Under no circumstance should you beat Puppy Love how they actually intended, because they intended you to be a gaming God who can nail frame precise movements like you are fucking Simple Flips. You are not. I am not. Skip the shitty level.
Love this music though! It's known that Tommy Tallarico did not compose any actual music in his fucking life, and he especially didn't come up with any of the really great original music here. I highly doubt he even had the inspired choice to put Moonlight Sonata in the Salamnder level. It's a very fun soundtrack that once again has its name attached to a ding dong. Can't win with this franchise!
What I suggest is attributing every bad decision to Doug, notorious shithead. Puppy Love? His idea. Flyin' King? He programmed all of it! Level Ate? He wanted MORE Salt shakers! The game goes down so much easier once you do this.
I want to rate this higher than Earthworm Jim 1 because there is stuff I love here: the animation is even better and more expressive, the game actually makes me laugh pretty consistently, it's pretty funny! The good levels like Udderly Abducted, Tangerines, Lorenzo's Soil, and Jim Is A Blind Cave Salamander are actually FUN and have INTERESTING GIMMICKS. But the rotten is like a limb blackened by frostbite, functionless and chipping off before your very eyes, and the only thing we need to do is get it to a hospital so amputation can happen.
A game that would gain more stars if content was actively REMOVED. Puppy Love is T.E.R.R.I.B.L.E. I cannot stand by For Pete's Sake being slandered while this nightmare is given a slap on the wrist. The fucking marshmallow you have to bounce the puppies off of has the most inconsistent hitbox in a game loaded with them by a company who is bad at them. It is a level so bad that I actively encourage cheating. If something fucking stinks: cheat. Don't feel bad about it, if it sucks, skip it. Under no circumstance should you beat Puppy Love how they actually intended, because they intended you to be a gaming God who can nail frame precise movements like you are fucking Simple Flips. You are not. I am not. Skip the shitty level.
Love this music though! It's known that Tommy Tallarico did not compose any actual music in his fucking life, and he especially didn't come up with any of the really great original music here. I highly doubt he even had the inspired choice to put Moonlight Sonata in the Salamnder level. It's a very fun soundtrack that once again has its name attached to a ding dong. Can't win with this franchise!
What I suggest is attributing every bad decision to Doug, notorious shithead. Puppy Love? His idea. Flyin' King? He programmed all of it! Level Ate? He wanted MORE Salt shakers! The game goes down so much easier once you do this.
8 Comments
@Umulamahri unrelated but i saw your RYM and i also like max graves, death, depeche mode, faith no more, neurosis and type o negative. kickass taste!!
@gruel oh hell yeah!
Wonder where Tommy Tallarico is now that even his house which he bragged about so much is being sold. His mother is very proud indeed!
gru-el have you ever watched the EWJ cartoon because its very good
also lorenzo's soil is the first thing i think of when i think of this game, its probably worth 3 stars to me by itself. proto-ass Red Faction SNES geomod
@LarryDavis the cartoon is an all-time favorite of mine. doug has said he doesn't like it which is the ultimate seal of approval.
@gruel that kicks ass. of course he would hate it
i'm a big fan of how dan "sebastian" castellano's Evil Jim voice was just Krusty
i'm a big fan of how dan "sebastian" castellano's Evil Jim voice was just Krusty
Umulamahri
1 month ago