I'll be honest, Yakuza 5 is the worst one I've played so far.

At first, it was a bit conflicting, because one thing I kept wishing for the series was variety. Well, I got variety right here, and let me tell you, I don't like it.

It was a bit conflicting to come to the realization that I don't like this. The game opens up very well and the whole Kiryu part was fine. Classic Yakuza, of course. I LOVED the taxi substory. Off to a solid start!

But then we get to Saejima part and that's the SLOWEST moment in the game. Even the minigames suck. Things don't shift much in the next part, which is Haruka's. Just... what were they thinking? I'm glad she shared her chapters with Akiyama, because he steals the whole game. His chapters are the best, his fighting style is great, his story fits just right. But then the game crashes hard when we come to Shinada. Everything about him just feels out of place, to be honest. Some new side characters, like the main villain, Saejima's prison gang, and Park-chan, ALMOST captivated me, but they weren't enough.

Yakuza 2 used to be my least favorite, however, the story/side content were its saving grace. But with 5, the story feels absolutely forced and kinda set apart from the others. It's a huge mess! It never amounts to anything meaningful! Akiyama is the only one that felt in-character. Haruka's idol fluff was extremely boring, Saejima's felt repetitive and fruitless, Shinada is absolutely useles, and Kiryu was... ok, I guess.

And while things do improve in the Finale, the ending is horrible. Abrupt, emotionless, with a few plot points left out in the open.

It's a shame, because this game looks and sounds beautiful! The main story is weak, but almost every sidequest is either fun as hell or very creative. I LOVED all the cities I got to visit and I wish I could just explore them forever. The atmosphere is great and, as usual, the soundtrack shines! The combat, on the other hand, was a bit of a hit or miss. I'm used to that, I guess. Yakuza's combat is usually iffy.

I know that people love this game, but I just couldn't. Playing with Haruka and Saejima was pure torture. And the game is very long too! That usually doesn't bother me, but the lack of fun factor just made me almost drop it.

I just hope Yakuza 6 picks it back up again.

Reviewed on Feb 28, 2024


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