A B-grade co-op physics puzzler interspersed with C-grade pure platforming, tagged along by a complete mess of a narrative about... two friends doing things together? A horrifically ugly bloom-and-blur hyper-realistic art direction interweaves a pitifully morose score. The tutorial level in particular is so depressing that less than a third of a third of all Steam players make it to level 2. How unsurprising.

Unravel Two genuinely has its moments when it reveals its craft in the two-player puzzles, all of which revolve around using your conjoined tether in interesting ways, but it is woefully distracted by compulsive desires to become a Spectacle Game, one where the levels have all-caps meta subtitles and the story contains Dark Scenes. This effort lands so embarrassingly flat and abruptly that it hardly feels like anything happened at all. It sort of feels like the game version of Oscar bait, where every design decision is made to generate a murmuring respect from inexperienced eyes and not to actually achieve anything of merit.

To capstone your adventure, a credits sequence overflowing with insecurity begs the players to not come down so harshly by showing how cool and worker-friendly Coldwood Interactive is-- then, right on cue, a huge EA logo scrolls up the screen.