Dragonball Evolution, if you’ve purged it from your brain, was the 2009 20th Century Fox movie incredibly loose adaptation of the Dragon Ball manga by Akira Toriyama. Largely considered one of the worst movies of all time, a critical and commercial failure, and an undeniable stain on any future anime-to-cinema adaptations, to say the film was poorly received would be an understatement. Two days before the film's North American release on April 10, 2009, however, a fighting video game based on the film would be released for the PlayStation Portable. Dragonball Evolution: The Game was developed by Dimps, the same creatives behind the decently successful Dragon Ball Z: Shin Budokai series on the PSP. While I believe the game is better than the film it is based on, it still spectacularly fails at capturing the magic of the Dragon Ball franchise, falling short in both execution and engagement. Much like its film inspiration, the game attempts to capitalize on one of Japan’s most beloved mangas and anime, but ultimately disappoints even the most ardent of fans and is a monument to missed opportunity and corporate greed.

Instead of using the years of rich lore and intricate storylines available thanks to its source material, the game follows in the footsteps of the film and opts for a generic good-versus-evil narrative devoid of any depth or originality. The player mostly controls Goku, who looks more like a rejected high school age Street Fighter character than a Saiyan warrior, as he battles various mainstays of the Dragon Ball universe (whether friend or foe) to gather the seven Dragon Balls and stop Piccolo from taking over the world. While this is somewhat of an arc in the DragonBall manga/anime, it is the changes made to Goku and Piccolo’s origin story and the characterization of pivotal franchise staple characters that curtails this generic plot into absurdity. Fortunately for this game, and this review, this trainwreck of a plot is the fault of the film writers of Dragonball Evolution and doesn’t deserve much more consideration here as this is not a review of the film. How the ridiculous narrative of the film is conveyed to the player, however, does deserve attention - through compressed still character images pulled from the movie plastered in front of ugly color smeared backgrounds, boring text boxes full of cringe-inducing dialogue, abhorrent repetitive music, and the occasional mess of rendered cutscenes. It all comes together to deliver this already terrible plot in the worst way imaginable.

The visuals during the actual fighting game portion of Dragonball Evolution don’t fare much better either. Gone are the vibrant colors and dynamic recognizable aesthetic of Dragon Ball and in its place stands muted, jagged, character models that would look more at home on the set of a low budget Power Rangers fan film or a bad PlayStation 1 game. Environments are also bland, repetitive, and look like they were ripped from a budget stock photo website. This disconnect between the Dragonball created by Akira Toriyama, the characters and locations fans know and love, and what was delivered on both the screen and in this game is truly baffling and shows how little Hollywood understood anime culture at the time.

With a development team known for making decent Dragon Ball titles on the PSP (i.e. Dragon Ball Z: Shin Budokai and Dragon Ball Z: Shin Budokai - Another Road) it is amazing how terrible the combat in Dragonball Evolution truly is. Compared to the explosive energy of the source material or even Dimps other Dragon Ball titles, the fighting system on display here is a limp noodle and the AI as dumb as a rock. In short, the fighting system relies heavily on button-mashing, lacking any strategic depth or satisfying execution that defines a successful fighting game. Honestly, due to the game’s braindead AI, mashing the same attack repeatedly is enough to get through most encounters in the Story Mode and opponents in Arcade Mode don’t fare much better. Special attacks like the Kamamaheha, supposed to be explosive displays of power, are underwhelming whimpers that feel inconsequential due to the overall mechanical simplicity of the game and are rarely even needed to win a match. Mash buttons, watch flashy but meaningless animations, repeat. There's no strategy, no finesse, just a desperate hope that your character's attack will connect before your brain melts from boredom.

The only merciful aspect of Dragonball Evolution is its brevity. Completing the story mode can be done in an afternoon (it only took me 2 hours), leaving you with enough free time to do anything else - watch paint dry, count grass, read a book, or even play a better game.

Ultimately, Dragonball Evolution fails to deliver anything close to a satisfying experience for fans of the franchise or fighting games in general. It lacks the depth, polish, and engaging elements that defines a successful fighting game and the explosive energy and aesthetic that is required of a good Dragon Ball game. While it may hold some modicum of potential to appeal to a niche audience seeking a simple short button-mashing experience, it fails to live up to the legacy of the universe it seeks to imitate or the expectations of dedicated fans. In the vast pantheon of Dragon Ball games, it sits at the bottom gathering dust. In the impressive library of the PSP, it falls near the bottom of the list and is a prime contender for “Worst Game Based on a Movie” award (a hotly contested award to be honest). Even with zero expectations, Dragonball Evolution managed to disappoint me and this comes from someone who has seen the atrocity it is based on. Honestly, play any other Dragon Ball title than this.