world design is the standout performer here and by far, that shit is huge and they made it like 4 times for no other reason than to give me another vista? sick as

lots of screensaver moments, animations that arent facial generally look great - landscape gets a bit samey, but hey, it is scotland lol

if you're one of those people who do all the map marker collectibles in ubisoft games - first of all, why ? why do you even do that ? but secondly this is your game of the year

combat discourse on this seems misguided - the problem is not the number of spells, not the combat itself, but the fact that theres like 3 enemy types in the entire game and for some reason none of them are dementors and expecto patronum isnt in the game - but the flipping spell is. you know? the flipping spell, the spell that flips things, the flipping spell? yea. anyway its actually quite fun to just bash goblins around (they are more like scientologists)

hogwarts itself is pretty much teeming with mini activities, but the overworld quickly gets stale once you finish the castle - merlin trials exist only to make you put on family guy on your phone and play subway surfer with your feet

story is uh - its okay, the worst part of it is easily your main character, which is also the worst part of the game design by essentially forcing diablo rpg loot bullshit gear up your asshole and stretching your playtime sphincter with pointless crafting that barely makes a noticeable difference until youve farmed 37 unicorn dicks and made 10 little patches of "improved accio" that all get replaced faster than you can expelliarmus my hands off my dick

side characters generally grew on me, particularly the slytherin boys who had what we call in the industry a bit of "gray morals" (just like fallout new vegas) - natty can suck a fat avada kedavra, i dont know how they made someone with her sick ass powers so boring

wait, the author of this franchise said WHA-



Reviewed on Feb 15, 2023


1 Comment


1 year ago

hard agree on the main character being so weak - like, who even is this person?? lack of personality aside, do they have a family? or, I don’t know… existing friends? why are they just now going to wizard school? they’re (presumably) british, but in that case, where have they been instead of attending wizard school like everyone else?? I can understand having a blank slate protagonist to an extent but there’s not even a slate here