You have to appreciate the characters' stories being on par with watching Sons of Anarchy while you have a life threatening fever.
You have to stand in awe of the gameplay being delayed from when you hit a button to when your character actually performs that action.
Be witness to the the worst cutscenes ever animated and presented, not only having sound effects not load in properly multiple times, but the textures not loading on character models for minutes at a time.
Stand in awe of the worst combat mechanics that pile on literal dozens of weapons you will never care about because you can just kick everyone to death in hand to hand combat.
Be amazed as you will fall through the floor multiple times and cause game breaking crashes that may wipe your save file meaning you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN!
Have your mouth hanging in slack jawed wonder as your main character Jake Conway has clothes-on sex with random women and the game keeps track of that as a collectible achievement!
Hold your arms spread wide and embrace the worst shooting controls that may sometimes cause your aim to jerk up randomly to the sky when you're trying to do headshots on guys that run at you in a straight line like lemmings!
Shit your pants in terror as you realize this was also sold in stores on the Xbox 360 and realize that it had to receive an MSRP rating, meaning somebody else HAD to play this, somebody else HAD to see this!
This game is a masterpiece
A love letter to terrible themes, characters, and gameplay!
The perfect storm of a dogshit video game, nothing like this will ever be released in stores again!
Truly the King of Bad Video Games
Despite my rating, I absolutely beg anyone else that hasn't to play it, or look it up since you can't buy it anymore.
An important lesson in game design was shared in that: Game design is fucking hard, dude.
You have to stand in awe of the gameplay being delayed from when you hit a button to when your character actually performs that action.
Be witness to the the worst cutscenes ever animated and presented, not only having sound effects not load in properly multiple times, but the textures not loading on character models for minutes at a time.
Stand in awe of the worst combat mechanics that pile on literal dozens of weapons you will never care about because you can just kick everyone to death in hand to hand combat.
Be amazed as you will fall through the floor multiple times and cause game breaking crashes that may wipe your save file meaning you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN!
Have your mouth hanging in slack jawed wonder as your main character Jake Conway has clothes-on sex with random women and the game keeps track of that as a collectible achievement!
Hold your arms spread wide and embrace the worst shooting controls that may sometimes cause your aim to jerk up randomly to the sky when you're trying to do headshots on guys that run at you in a straight line like lemmings!
Shit your pants in terror as you realize this was also sold in stores on the Xbox 360 and realize that it had to receive an MSRP rating, meaning somebody else HAD to play this, somebody else HAD to see this!
This game is a masterpiece
A love letter to terrible themes, characters, and gameplay!
The perfect storm of a dogshit video game, nothing like this will ever be released in stores again!
Truly the King of Bad Video Games
Despite my rating, I absolutely beg anyone else that hasn't to play it, or look it up since you can't buy it anymore.
An important lesson in game design was shared in that: Game design is fucking hard, dude.