To right the countless wrongs of our day, we shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise. What a wonderful world such would be...
I don't remember what my first exposure to The World Ends with You was, or when. For the longest time I thought it was this video but since replaying the game I'm no longer so sure, the date that video was uploaded is April 15th, 2019, but having combed through old Discord messages, I can see that I had played this game at least by March 14th. Regardless, what I do know is that one day, back in early 2019 I saw The World Ends with You: Final Remix on the shelf at EB Games, and having heard good things about the DS version I picked it up.
I was a lot like Neku, which isn't something I'm proud to admit. I had the same mindset of keeping people out, being unable to "get people", the whole nine yards. Although, maybe that was a learnt behaviour, when I was in high school the group of friends I hung out with had a big falling out and basically split in two overnight. I was told that this happened at my birthday party because I had invited people from both sides and most of them didn't show up or say anything to me. I haven't wanted to celebrate my birthday since.
"Trust your partner" are words spoken to Neku and echoed in his mind throughout the course of the entire game. To have to put your entire faith in someone for the sake of both of you, it's a big ask, and completely impossible with a mindset like that. Despite this, the game never presents Neku's mindset as wrong, instead it is presented as an unfulfilling and unnecessarily more challenging way of living, a key distinction in my mind. If you share Neku's sentiments about life and people you don't have to change, but you'd probably be better off if you did.
I don't think I really internalised these messages when I first played the game, but to be fair I was 17. I do know that I experienced the life changing affects of the game that everyone harps on about at that time, but I don't think I really changed as much as I could have, I don't think I wanted to.
And then I realised I was transgender.
"Listen up, Phones. The world ends with you. If you want to enjoy life, expand your world. You gotta push your horizons out as far as they'll go."
I don't think this is one of those cases where a piece of media causes someone to realise they're trans, although the timing of me playing The World Ends with You to me figuring it out is pretty close.
Suddenly, my world changed just as much as Neku's did except now I was a stranger in my own walled garden, I no longer understood myself, I hardly had a hope of understanding others. I started hormones on 10/09/19, and shortly after I found myself in a local community of trans people. I was pushing out my horizons just a little bit.
I tried to be just like them, talking about subjects I didn't really want to, forcing myself to the point of deluding myself into thinking I did. I was accepted, but only as an accidentally created artificial version of myself I had bludgeoned myself into thinking was who I really was. That I was "discovering" myself. It makes me sick to look back on. It didn't last and I was sinking back into my old mindset of asocial apathy, but at least it was actually me.
I met my girlfriend in this community, and her single influence on me has been more positive and influential for me than any sense of belonging derived from a community I didn't fit in with ever could be.
The World Begins with You
I completed work trainee-ships, I'm getting my life together (maybe only a little bit), and I feel better about myself, not because of a false self of belonging but from an internal sense of direction for my own life. I have hope and prospects for my future, and my ideals are clashing with the people I'm actually keeping around, and I'm letting people in, just a little. While it's true that it's not hard to understand people, it's impossible, I figure I still might as well try.
"Same streets, same crowds too. Yeah, Shibuya hasn't changed a bit, but still, I don't think I can forgive you yet. You don't see it, but, those few weeks were very hard for me. Learning to trust people, having that trust broken. Finding out the town I pegged as small, and stifling, and empty, wasn't any of those things. I'm glad I met you guys, you made me pick up on things I probably would've just gone on ignoring. Trust your partner, and I do. I can't forgive you, but I trust you. You took care of things right? Otherwise Shibuya would be gone, and my world with it. Hey, did I mention, I've got friends now! We're getting together for the first time in a week! See you there?"
Oh yeah btw the games good, the controls are kinda hard to get used to though, funnily enough I think being left handed like me makes the game easier. Fuck the final boss though I dropped my difficulty to easy cuz it just kills you in 4 hits.
I don't remember what my first exposure to The World Ends with You was, or when. For the longest time I thought it was this video but since replaying the game I'm no longer so sure, the date that video was uploaded is April 15th, 2019, but having combed through old Discord messages, I can see that I had played this game at least by March 14th. Regardless, what I do know is that one day, back in early 2019 I saw The World Ends with You: Final Remix on the shelf at EB Games, and having heard good things about the DS version I picked it up.
I was a lot like Neku, which isn't something I'm proud to admit. I had the same mindset of keeping people out, being unable to "get people", the whole nine yards. Although, maybe that was a learnt behaviour, when I was in high school the group of friends I hung out with had a big falling out and basically split in two overnight. I was told that this happened at my birthday party because I had invited people from both sides and most of them didn't show up or say anything to me. I haven't wanted to celebrate my birthday since.
"Trust your partner" are words spoken to Neku and echoed in his mind throughout the course of the entire game. To have to put your entire faith in someone for the sake of both of you, it's a big ask, and completely impossible with a mindset like that. Despite this, the game never presents Neku's mindset as wrong, instead it is presented as an unfulfilling and unnecessarily more challenging way of living, a key distinction in my mind. If you share Neku's sentiments about life and people you don't have to change, but you'd probably be better off if you did.
I don't think I really internalised these messages when I first played the game, but to be fair I was 17. I do know that I experienced the life changing affects of the game that everyone harps on about at that time, but I don't think I really changed as much as I could have, I don't think I wanted to.
And then I realised I was transgender.
"Listen up, Phones. The world ends with you. If you want to enjoy life, expand your world. You gotta push your horizons out as far as they'll go."
I don't think this is one of those cases where a piece of media causes someone to realise they're trans, although the timing of me playing The World Ends with You to me figuring it out is pretty close.
Suddenly, my world changed just as much as Neku's did except now I was a stranger in my own walled garden, I no longer understood myself, I hardly had a hope of understanding others. I started hormones on 10/09/19, and shortly after I found myself in a local community of trans people. I was pushing out my horizons just a little bit.
I tried to be just like them, talking about subjects I didn't really want to, forcing myself to the point of deluding myself into thinking I did. I was accepted, but only as an accidentally created artificial version of myself I had bludgeoned myself into thinking was who I really was. That I was "discovering" myself. It makes me sick to look back on. It didn't last and I was sinking back into my old mindset of asocial apathy, but at least it was actually me.
I met my girlfriend in this community, and her single influence on me has been more positive and influential for me than any sense of belonging derived from a community I didn't fit in with ever could be.
The World Begins with You
I completed work trainee-ships, I'm getting my life together (maybe only a little bit), and I feel better about myself, not because of a false self of belonging but from an internal sense of direction for my own life. I have hope and prospects for my future, and my ideals are clashing with the people I'm actually keeping around, and I'm letting people in, just a little. While it's true that it's not hard to understand people, it's impossible, I figure I still might as well try.
"Same streets, same crowds too. Yeah, Shibuya hasn't changed a bit, but still, I don't think I can forgive you yet. You don't see it, but, those few weeks were very hard for me. Learning to trust people, having that trust broken. Finding out the town I pegged as small, and stifling, and empty, wasn't any of those things. I'm glad I met you guys, you made me pick up on things I probably would've just gone on ignoring. Trust your partner, and I do. I can't forgive you, but I trust you. You took care of things right? Otherwise Shibuya would be gone, and my world with it. Hey, did I mention, I've got friends now! We're getting together for the first time in a week! See you there?"
Oh yeah btw the games good, the controls are kinda hard to get used to though, funnily enough I think being left handed like me makes the game easier. Fuck the final boss though I dropped my difficulty to easy cuz it just kills you in 4 hits.