PHD in Pyronology. I am Bishamon.

I BEAT THIS SHIT ON THE HARDEST DIFFICULTY WITHOUT SWITCHING CHARACTERS AND I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO CHEESE THE SHIT OUT OF EVERY CPU, SO HERE'S MY GUIDE ON HOW TO BEAT ARCADE MODE ON THE HARDEST DIFFICULTY WITH BISHAMON (I HAD TO PLAY THIS SHIT ON PAD BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING ON A PS1 EVEN THOUGH I PLAY FIGHTING GAMES ON STICK, I'M A GOD).

Some of this shit took very long to figure out, but most of it is pretty consistent once you get a feel for it. Here's what to do in every matchup as Bishamon:

Jon Talbain: For the entire fight, just hold down back and block any air attacks. Whenever he uses the dive move, block it and punish with crouching HK. Repeat until win.

Viktor: First off, fuck this character. This one is a little weird. You have to space yourself and whiff crouching MP, the CPU will try and whiff punish you right after, but if you spaced yourself right, they'll whiff too. Now, whiff punish them with crouching HP. Repeat until win.

Lord Raptor: This one is also kind of weird. Focus on blocking and watch out for the teleport. If he teleports, try using any button to punish him popping up. The main damage you'll be doing is when he is in crouching LP range. If he's approaching, just start pressing it. Don't mash it, but only leave tiny pauses in between the presses. The CPU will usually block all of them, or end up getting hit by all of them. Don't jump in this matchup if you don't want to die. Repeat until win.

Morrigan: Quite literally, just jump back and use jumping HP for the entire round. It'll work eventually and shouldn't take too long. You might want to use jumping HK if you can visibly see that she hasn't jumped to follow you, but don't risk it if you can't tell. Repeat until win.

Anakaris: This one is one of the easiest ones. Start the round by putting yourself in the corner. Now, crouch block until you block a move of his. The moment you block anything, press standing MP and it should punish most of his moves. The only move you actually have to worry about is when he drops a coffin on you, but all you have to do is stand block and it's not actually that threatening. He even has some moves (some of his jump moves) that are punishable on hit. All you need for this one is standing MP. Repeat until win.

Felicia: This one is a little less consistent, but it's not too hard. All I did was use jump back HK and if she was too close, I used crouching LP or MP to keep her off. It's kind of similar to Morrigan, but a little more dynamic. Repeat until win.

Demitri: This one would be the hardest one if Pyron didn't exist, but Demitri is a bitch with a dive kick, DP, fireball, air fireball, and invincible dash that cancels into special moves (the one thing that Morrigan doesn't have which makes her way easier to deal with). There's a few things you have to keep in mind during this fight. First, start the round by cornering yourself. If he's approaching you, leave him alone, just block. If he grabs you, tough shit, take the throw. If he's backing away from you, press crouching medium punch repeatedly until he's out of range or dashes. If he uses DP or his dive at any point, just block and punish with crouching HP or standing MP depending on the spacing. If he dashes, DO NOT PRESS BUTTONS, he will cancel it into DP 90% of the time. Just keep blocking. To deal with his dash, after the dash is complete, you're going to want to switch to stand blocking and delay press back + MP. This should block DP if he does that, block any other attacks if he presses something else, but if he does nothing, you'll either throw him if he's too close or press standing MP. Repeat until win.

Rikuo: This one is a lot simpler. Just play footsies with the CPU and use Bishamon's crouching punch buttons to hit him when you have the chance. Rikuo himself isn't too threatening, just watch out for his poison cloud move. Repeat until win.

Sasquatch: This one was surprisingly easy. Quite literally, just press crouching HP every time he gets in range of it. Apart from that, just crouch block and wait for him to walk to you. Repeat until win.

Huitzil: I don't know if I just got lucky, but this was the easiest fight in the game. All I did was jump in, use jumping HK, then do crouching LP and crouching MP. Repeat until win.

Pyron: First off, fuck Pyron. This man has busted fireballs, a DP, teleports that can take him anywhere on screen, he does a fuck ton of chip damage, he's plus on most things, he does a fuck ton of damage in general, has huge moves that cover lots of space, and his moves have little startup and recovery. This one took the longest to figure out and fuck you Pyron, I beat your bitch ass, it only took all my quarters. Anyway, what you want to do is start the round with jumping forward and using jumping HK. Generally, when you do this, the CPU will jump in response. When they do, you can punish the jump with standing MP. Repeat that until he's in the corner. Once he's in the corner, just repeat using forward MP while he blocking and walk in a little to get back in range and repeat. Every now and then he'll try and jump and you should punish it with your forward MP. If he gets out of the corner, try and get him back in the corner with the round start strat, or by pushing him with crouching punch buttons. If he teleports at any point, time a standing MP to punish the recovery and you can get good damage. If you're late, he'll at least block it all, but don't be early or he'll punish you. If he's shooting ground fireballs, jump forward. If it's a low fireball, you can try hitting him with jumping HK, but if it's an high fireball, just hold back to block it. If he's shooting air fireballs, just block, it's hard and inconsistent trying to get over them and if they hit the ground, the create a fire pillar, so I would just wait it out. Also, the fire pillar is two hits rather than the one of fireball, so less chip if you don't block the pillar. Don't try too hard to punish his air tatsu, but if he flies over you, you can try using standing MP to punish it. When he's in your face mashing, you kind of just have to take it since he has some disgusting buttons if you get frame trapped. You're going to eat a lot of chip damage, but that's just how it is. Also, be careful when jumping in neutral because he will just read your inputs and instantly DP you. This is easily the hardest fight in the game and has the most things going on that you have to deal with. Anyway, good luck trying to get your PHD in Pyronology. Repeat until win.

Whether or not this any of this is optimal or if there's better strats, I have no clue. No one plays this version of the game in comparison to 3 and also, I figured this shit out on my own. BISHAMON FOR LIFE.

HOW COULD YOU HOPE TO DEFEAT ME! THE IMMORTAL SPIRIT OF BUSHIDO.

Speaking purely in terms of gameplay and overarching systems, the first Darkstalkers isn’t anything to write home about. It’s the standard six button affair, each game is first to two rounds with each round having a 99 second timer. It’s far from bad but it isn’t remarkable in any sense. What really sets the game apart are the characters and the visuals.

First and foremost, the character designs in this game are amazing, especially considering it’s the first game in the series. Who doesn’t love a martial artist werewolf, a succubus with jet pack wings, a werecat Vegas dancer who spins like Sonic the Hedgehog, a floating mummy who can blow on opponents to turn them into babies, and a zombie rockstar from Australia that stabs people with his ribcage, just to name a few. Every playable character is brimming with personality often lacking in fighters of the time, and it’s a refreshing change of pace. Every character is distinct both in terms of play style and visuals, making all of them infinitely more recognizable than the average playable character of the time, whether it’s one of the ten starting characters or one of the two secret characters.

A large part of this distinctiveness is due to the visuals, which are stellar. Every is beautiful and memorable in its own right, all being a pleasure to play on, but the sprite work is where the style really shines. The sprites on display in the Dark Stalkers seir are some of the best in any sprite-based fighting game, full stop. The first game is no exception to this, as every animation breathes life into the characters. This helps not only make the game visually interesting and a joy to watch, but helps characterize each of the fighters and give them personality that would typically otherwise be relegated to arcade endings or supplemental material. I can’t help but what to describe them but I just don’t know if I have the words to properly explain how funny it is seeing Morrigan’s body morph into the shape of a seven as her eyes and tongue pop out of her head, for example. I implore anyone reading this to either play the game or at the very least look up a sprite sheet to see what I mean.

Besides the largely unimpressive albeit inoffensive gameplay, the main issues with Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors is that it simply doesn’t really have much of anything to make anyone want to go back to it, simply because its sequels do everything it does but so, so much better. However, this is still a charming, fun experience and one I wouldn’t want to see get lost to the sands of time. Dark Stalkers may for all intents and purposes be dead, but it’ll live in my and in many others minds.