I’m given to understand that Camelot’s handheld golf outings are actually quite good. They’re the basis for the excellent Golf Story, after all - little RPG narrative adventures where you build up the player character’s stats over the course of a fun golf training arc. I think Mario Tennis GBC is going for the same sorta thing, but as it turns out, the effect doesn’t translate across sports.

It bears mention before getting into what Tennis GBC does with its campaign: the main issue at play with this game is how rough the AI is. It’s actually extremely easy to cheese it here, particularly in Singles: do a drop shot to one corner of the court, then either smash a return or do a lob shot to the opposite side. The AI naturally responds to the drop shot by running up to hit it, and most AI opponents lack the reach or speed to respond to this trickery. Once you figure out how to do this, and once you fall into a good cadence with this, most opponents are helpless before you.

It turns out that this is sort of a blessing in disguise. Annoyingly, the standard match length in the game’s story is 3 Sets, 6 Games per Set. For comparison, console Mario Tennis I don’t think ever forces the player to do more than 2 game Sets? Starting out the gate with best of 3 Sets and moving into Best of 5 Sets just feels like padding. I don’t even really like it when console Mario Tennis does that, but the gameflow is at least fast enough in console tennis that a climactic 3- or 5-Set Match feels like a well-paced struggle. Everything moves sooooo sloooooowly on GBC.

You also gain EXP and stats from minigames rather than standard tournament play, so you’re expected to intersperse these slow-ass games with slow-ass grinding sessions. In my experience, Mario Tennis GBC ended up being something to play while I had something else on out of necessity; I actually spent a decent amount of time playing this while meeting up with some out-of-state friends, while we were just loafing around and watching TV. I sort of have fond memories of the game for that reason, but boy does the game not earn it.

Speaking of earning things, you have to earn the right to get Mario characters into the game’s primary narrative! You spend most of the time in a rookie-to-success string of tournament arcs amid OCs, and it’s only after you clear the final tournament that you get the privilege of traveling to the Mario World to face off against interdimensional tennis superstar Mario (and Peach, in Doubles). I don’t necessarily object to relegating the Mario cast to legendary figures you have to earn the right to play against, but there ends up being no references to Mario until the credits roll like two or three times, grinding out the campaign. It’s a very curious decision to make in a game called Mario Tennis.

And it’s hardly the most important thing, but since Tennis is such a limited sport compared to Golf, it takes to having stapled-on RPG stats a lot less elegantly than Golf does. I know I would’ve ground things out, but for the life of me I can’t remember what nuance these stats added, on top of making me able to compete with the higher-end foes.

Looking at what the game offers, I’m willing to accept that I’m inherently missing something by playing Mario Tennis GBC in a vacuum, as a lot of its side content ties in to connecting the game with the N64 console version (transferring characters and mini-games, etc). I think of how it goes for Pokémon Stadium, where the intention is that the console game benefits from its connectivity with the handheld game. But Pokémon Stadium still represents a largely complete experience even without the handheld games. I guess Mario Tennis GBC can stand alone, but there's so little to it that if you're not inherently sold on the core loop of playing slow tennis with some dude against easily-duped boofheads, you're just wasting your time. Too bad.